Page 49

Gabe opened his mouth, closed it again, then settled on, “Just don’t look.” He made his way over to his locker, allowing the blond vampire to slip in through the door behind him.

He didn’t really care if Soren tagged along. Gabe didn’t have to get fully nude to change out of his scrubs. Besides, Gabe didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. He worked out religiously—the best way he’d found to deal with persistent anxiety—and watched what he ate.

He didn’t suffer from a lack of offers to share his bed; that was for sure.

Not that Gabe had been taking anyone up on those offers lately.

Frequent hookups used to be the next best thing to relieve his stress and clear his mind, but ever since his attack, he hadn’t felt inclined.

Gabe tugged at his scrub top with clumsy fingers. His complacence with Soren’s presence had nothing to do with feeling pleased the vampire had walked away from Dr. Monroe, choosing to follow Gabe instead.

Nothing at all.

Soren was unnervingly quiet while Gabe changed.

It was enough of a switch from the brat’s usual chattiness that Gabe found himself glancing over at the mirrors after pulling his scrub top off, looking past his own head of loose brown curls to Soren’s face in the reflection.

The vampire was gazing at Gabe’s bare torso with open appreciation in his eyes.

The little monster even licked his lips.

Fuck. Gabe didn’t want to think about what that look did to him. Soren was not an option for him. The fucker was odd, unhinged, and—most importantly—not even human.

It didn’t matter if he was beautiful.

It’s a false beauty , Gabe reminded himself. The allure of a predator. Designed to lure in unsuspecting prey.

“Told you not to look,” Gabe grumbled, trying to ignore the way his dick plumped up at the sight of Soren licking those pink lips.

“I never agreed to anything,” Soren replied brightly, not averting his gaze for a second.

Of course he didn’t. As far as Gabe could tell, Soren lived to be contrary.

Gabe rushed through getting dressed, not wanting to linger in the locker room with any of the strange feelings the petite vampire aroused in him. He clearly needed to get laid, if having someone watch him get changed was having this effect on him.

Soren slipped on a pair of sunglasses as they headed out the hospital doors to Gabe’s car. The way Danny had explained it, sunlight wasn’t technically detrimental to vampires, but the brightness did irritate their eyes, especially if their inner demon was out and about.

There were a lot of misconceptions out there Danny had been slowly educating Gabe on.

Vampires didn’t need an invite to enter a home.

They didn’t need to kill to feed. They could eat human food if they wanted; it just didn’t nourish them.

And their fangs stayed hidden, except for the times their inner demon—that was what Roman and Danny called the vampire side of themselves—took over.

Gabe had only seen Soren with his demon out once. The morning Gabe had been attacked by Lucien. Soren must have been following the other vampire, because he’d appeared out of nowhere and rescued Gabe, calming him down with his vampire compulsion.

Gabe had subsequently been too freaked out by finding out about the existence of vampires to ever thank Soren properly, a fact that he occasionally felt a twinge of guilt about.

But, even if it had been for a good reason, Soren had used his powers to mess with Gabe—had affected his mind, his perceptions, his emotions.

Was Gabe really expected to feel thankful for that?

And for that matter, Gabe wouldn’t even have been attacked if Roman and Soren hadn’t come to town and brought their vampire drama with them. He didn’t really owe the blond vampire anything.

Gabe pushed down the unpleasant memories of that brutal attack. Thinking about it wasn’t helping the anxious knot building in his stomach.

Before Gabe was anywhere near ready, they were pulling into a familiar parking lot. Here was the reason Soren had even met him after work at all, like they were some kind of pals.

The care home, with Gabe’s mother waiting inside. Well, not waiting. The dementia kept her from knowing they were coming. But she was there.

Gabe could drive off right now and she would never know.

Gabe wanted to drive off.

His fingers felt fat and clumsy as he unbuckled his seat belt, and his stomach twisted further into knots.

Fuck.

He knew what was coming. And sometimes it was like the knowing made it happen.

Like now.

Gabe’s chest started to feel tight, and his throat felt thick, like he couldn’t swallow properly or get enough air. Logically, he knew he was fine. His throat wasn’t actually closing up. But that didn’t change the feeling that he couldn’t breathe.

His skin prickled as he broke out into a cold sweat.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Not here. Not in front of him.

A small hand landed on the back of Gabe’s neck. Delicate but strong. Firm. Immovable. “Breathe, Highness.” Soren’s voice, without its usual teasing notes, was sweet and smooth. Like cool water on a hot day.

“I. Can’t. ” Gabe managed to grit out the words between gasps.

Soren used the thumb of his gripping hand to gently rub the side of Gabe’s neck. “You can. Tell me five things you see,” he ordered gently.

“Um.” Gabe searched his surroundings with frantic eyes. “Steering wheel. My jeans. Rearview mirror. Glove box.” He glanced to the right, unable to help himself. “Your eyes.”

Those eyes. Such a light, pale blue. With all their intensity now focused on Gabe.

Soren’s lips twitched. “Good. Four things you can feel.”

Gabe knew this exercise. They’d learned about in med school, during their psych classes. A tool to help cut through panic attacks. “My seat underneath me. My feet on the floor. The seatbelt. Your hand.”

“Three things you hear.”

Gabe’s breaths were starting to come a little easier as Soren’s voice and soft commands kept him grounded to the present moment. “My breathing. Voices outside. You talking to me.”

Soren gave his neck a light squeeze. “Good, Highness. Very good. Two things you can smell.”

Gabe spoke without thinking. “The ocean. Pine trees.”

Soren arched a brow at his words, but Gabe was too exhausted to be defensive.

“That’s what you smell like. Like if the sea met a pine forest. And, um…cold. I don’t know how a person can smell cold , but you do.”

Soren didn’t mock him, but those pale eyes lit with an internal fire. Gabe couldn’t tell if he was offended or pleased. The vampire continued the grounding exercise. “Something you can taste.”

But Gabe shook his head. “I’m fine now. Thank you. That helped.” He wasn’t fine exactly, but the panic had receded. In its wake was a shaky sort of weak feeling, the same one always left behind after any attack like that. Like Gabe could sleep for a week. Or burst into tears at any moment.

God, he hoped he didn’t burst into tears.

Soren’s gaze was steady, searching. After several long moments, the vampire removed his hand from the back of Gabe’s neck.

Gabe did his best not to mourn the loss of that steadying grip.

“We’re not doing this today,” Soren declared.

Gabe felt his panic rising again at the words, but also a sense of…relief. Still, he protested. “What do you mean? We have to.”

Soren tossed his head regally. Ironic that the vampire always called Gabe “Highness,” when he acted like a little demonic prince himself. “We don’t, actually. Wait here. Stay calm.” He got out of the car.

Gabe did stay, waiting in the car while Soren walked into the care home, but he hated himself a little for it.

Why couldn’t he do better ?

He should have been doing better. He’d been visiting his mom regularly with Danny.

Roman used his vampire compulsion to help their mom with her dementia, a skill Danny had learned now too.

Sometimes it helped her remember who they were; sometimes it only served to keep her calm and happy.

Either way, it had made the visits more bearable to Gabe than they’d been in the past.

Which was why Soren was with him now. To use his compulsion to help continue their visits while Danny was on his honeymoon.

Because the visits were still…tough. Gabe’s feelings were always complicated when it came to his mother.

The woman who had raised him with love, only to leave him to fend for himself much too young.

He always felt raw in her presence, flayed open by the emotions she elicited in him.

He should have known the prospect of showing that vulnerability in front of Soren would set him off.

Because instead of doing better, Gabe had been getting worse.

His world had stopped making sense a year ago.

His anxiety kept building; his emotions kept spiraling.

He felt like he was… pretending all the time.

Pretending to have it together. Pretending to be happy.

And he was terrified of anyone seeing through it.

And now here he was, failing his family. Again.

Gabe was pulled out of his thoughts by Soren opening up the car door. “She’s fine,” the vampire reported, scanning Gabe’s face like it would give him answers to his mental state. “Happy and calm.”

“Um, okay.” Gabe felt lost, unsure of his next steps. “What now?”

Soren climbed back into the driver’s seat with catlike grace. He turned to Gabe, arching a brow. “We’re going out to breakfast.”

That wasn’t what Gabe had been expecting Soren to say. He’d been thinking it would be something along the lines of, “I drop you off and go do my own thing, loser. Obviously.”

Who wanted to hang out with someone who’d just had a complete meltdown in a parking lot?

“Breakfast?” Gabe repeated stupidly.

Soren’s answering grin was bright and fierce.

“I’m craving pancakes.”