Page 55

Soren hummed noncommittally, capturing the human’s lips again.

He was a vicious predator. He was allowed to claim his territory if he wanted to.

It was a long minute before he could bring himself to release Gabe from his kisses, giving the human’s lip one final bite before sliding down to Gabe’s side, curling up against him on the couch.

“Wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable with that,” Soren murmured.

Gabe peered at him, one dark brow raised. “What? Sucking cock?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Gabe grinned goofily down at him, still looking fairly cum-drunk. “That wasn’t my first cock, brat.”

“Are you— You don’t—” It was rare Soren found himself at a loss for words, but his brain was pleasantly fuzzy postorgasm, and he’d only seen Gabe with women before… A thought that in his current blissed-out state only made him a little murderous.

Not the women part, the Gabe-with-anyone-fucking-else part.

“I’m not closeted,” Gabe supplied. “I’m bi. It’s not a secret, but I don’t go out of my way to let people know. Most of my experience with men comes from when I was off at college, so I’m pretty sure most people in this town assume I’m straight.”

Soren had a thought. “Does Danny know?”

“I told him when he first came out to me. He was so nervous.” Gabe smiled at the memory. “So I told him I found dudes pretty hot too.” He laughed, and the sound made Soren’s heart flip in his chest. It was a new thing, getting to see this human so relaxed, so…soft.

It pleased Soren to no end.

They stayed there on the couch for a long while, Soren half expecting Gabe to freak out at any moment. For him to remember that Soren was a monster and a creep and that Gabe didn’t want anything to do with him.

What came out of Gabe’s mouth instead was a surprise. “We should go to the care home today.”

Soren peered up at him, eyes narrowed. “You’re sure?”

Gabe’s body had stiffened slightly at his own words, some of that blissed-out relaxation leaving it, but he didn’t pull away from Soren. “I’m sure. Just give me five minutes, then we’ll shower.”

An hour later, Soren held his body deliberately still, more so than he was used to. He didn’t want any restless fidgeting to be interpreted as impatience.

They’d been sitting in the parking lot for ten minutes.

Soren had driven them there, half-afraid Gabe would have another panic attack, this time while at the wheel. Soren could survive pretty much any car crash, but humans were…disturbingly breakable.

Now Gabe was staring out the passenger window at the care home in front of them, a glazed look in his eyes. It was a little concerning, but his breathing was steady and even, so Soren was letting it go for the moment.

Plus, the human was holding Soren’s hand again, seemingly without realizing it, and that gave Soren some annoyingly fuzzy feelings, making him reluctant to move.

He closed his eyes instead and basked in the sunlight coming through the window, his dark shades negating any irritation his inner vamp might feel at the brightness.

They sat that way a few more minutes before Soren’s phone dinged. He tensed and fished it out of his pocket with his free hand, glancing down with trepidation, half expecting another threatening message from him .

Instead, it was Roman.

You and Gabe have not murdered each other, have you? Danny has not heard from Gabe these past few days. It is making him…distracted. Fix it.

Soren looked up with a grimace. Sounded like Roman was getting blue balls on his honeymoon.

Gabe had let go of his hand and was watching him, one knee bouncing rapidly. “I’m sorry. I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

Was the human worried Soren had better things to do? He shook his head, reaching back for Gabe’s hand. “Not in a rush, Highness. It was just Roman checking in. You should text your brother.”

“Oh, right.” Gabe’s knee stilled as soon as Soren touched him. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. Other things on my mind lately.”

An incredibly adorable revelation over these past twenty-four hours was that Gabe apparently blushed almost as easily as his younger brother.

He had a more golden skin tone than Danny, so it was harder to tell, but it definitely happened.

It was blooming beautifully on his cheeks now, a result of Gabe recalling what exactly had been on his mind.

Soren much preferred this bashful blush to the faraway look that had been in his eyes these past ten minutes. He stroked his thumb over Gabe’s knuckles, and Gabe took a deep breath in response.

“You smell like my shampoo,” Gabe blurted.

Soren grinned. “That’s because we showered together, Highness.”

Just the thought of it sent heat shooting down Soren’s spine. They had kept the shower fairly chaste, but the act of washing each other had somehow been more intimate than getting each other off with their mouths.

At least to Soren.

Maybe to Gabe too, judging by the way that blush was now traveling down his neck.

But then Gabe changed the direction of the conversation abruptly, his hand tightening on Soren’s. “When my dad died, my mom sort of shut down. She stopped—I don’t know. She just stopped. They were really in love, I guess. I remember that. They were happy. And my mom couldn’t deal.”

Gabe looked over, and Soren nodded. He knew some of the basics. Danny and Gabe’s father had died very suddenly, in a car crash, when they were still quite young.

Gabe continued, his hand squeezing Soren’s to a degree that might have been painful had Soren not been a vampire.

“I was fourteen, but Danny was only eight. He was too young to just…go it alone. So I took care of him. Packed his lunches. Got him ready for bed. Held him when he cried.” Gabe looked out the window, avoiding Soren’s gaze now.

“It took her a few years, but she got it together again, and I was able to go back to being a teenager, more or less, but I was…resentful. For a long time. My dad was my person. I was grieving. And suddenly I had to be a parent too?”

“I’m sorry,” Soren said. It didn’t feel like enough.

Gabe shrugged, his gaze still firmly elsewhere.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t that long, in the grand scheme of things.

But it hurt. I threw myself into school and friends after that.

I wanted—wanted that normal teenage life, I guess.

And after… I was so happy to get away from here, to go to med school.

To maybe make my dad proud.” Gabe’s voice grew thick, and his eyes shone with unshed tears.

“When I heard that she was sick, what it was, my first reaction was…anger. I was so angry at her. That here she was again, leaving us to fend for ourselves way too young.”

Gabe finally looked at Soren then, eyes frantic, clearly desperate for understanding.

“I know that was unfair—I know that—but by the time I started to come to terms with it, she was already forgetting me. She had made Danny wait to tell me…didn’t want to worry me.

” Gabe gave a bitter laugh. “I didn’t realize until too late that I was the one leaving Danny to fend for himself, to pick up the pieces.

I’d see him, and he’d seem fine. Tired, but what person in healthcare isn’t tired?

But I’d been abandoning him the same way she’d abandoned me, caring more about my own emotional bullshit than his well-being. ”

He broke off then, clearly drowning in his own self-loathing.

It wouldn’t do.

Soren released Gabe’s hand, reaching over to grab the back of Gabe’s neck. He squeezed gently, then pulled Gabe down to his level, looking him firmly in the eyes. “Do you know what, in my very long life, I’ve considered the most troubling of human emotions?”

Gabe stared back at him. “What?”

“Shame.”

Gabe’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. Had he been expecting Soren to condemn him for his anger?

“Shame infects every other emotion it touches.” Soren squeezed the back of Gabe’s neck again. “What I’ve just heard is the story of a boy—because fourteen is still a boy —forced to grow up too fast. To become a pseudoparent right after the loss of his own. Your anger at your mother is justified.”

Gabe opened his mouth to protest, but Soren cut him off.

“It is. But because she’s sick, because of the responsibility you feel toward your brother, you’re ashamed of that anger.

You try to bottle it up, to guilt yourself out of it.

But that’s no way to heal. All it does is allow things to fester.

You can be angry and still love your mom.

You can hate seeing her like this, hate that she’s forgotten you, and still do right by her. You’re not a bad person.”

That seemed to break something in Gabe, his eyes finally watering fully, tears spilling over onto his cheeks. Soren let go of his neck and leaned over the center console to cup Gabe’s face with both hands, wiping at those tears with his thumbs.

“Fuck,” Gabe swore. “I never cry.”

Soren huffed. “That’s not anything to be proud of.”

Gabe gave him a watery smile. “Guess not. Why are you being so nice, brat?”

Soren shrugged, not letting go of Gabe’s face. “I can be nice. When people deserve it.”

“You really think I deserve it?”

The vulnerability in Gabe’s voice was a knife to the heart.

Who was this human, to affect Soren this way?

It wasn’t even a unique story. Family expectations and resentments.

Loss. Soren should have been immune to it, living as long as he had, seeing all that he had.

But hearing the guilt and self-blame Gabe had been dealing with made Soren ache to protect his human, this man so much bigger than Soren but so much more fragile.

Instead of answering Gabe’s question, Soren kissed him, a gentle brush of lips. “So typical,” he murmured as he pulled away.

“What is?” Gabe asked thickly.

“One blow job and you’re admitting all your deepest, darkest secrets. It’s just such a classic guy move.”

Gabe looked stunned for a moment, and Soren worried that his big mouth had ruined things. It wouldn’t be the first time. But then Gabe laughed. It was a muffled sound, his nose still stuffy from crying, but it was genuine.

“Guess I am pretty typical, huh?”

Except the annoying thing was, to Soren, Gabe was anything but.

Gabe took another few minutes to compose himself, then they went to see his mother.

Their visit wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst either.

Soren’s compulsion wasn’t enough to remind Gladys of who Gabe was this time; her dementia had progressed to the point where, even with supernatural aid, those memories weren’t always accessible.

Instead, she’d called Gabe by her brother’s name.

Gabe had still managed to smile and greet her with a kiss on the cheek. Soren was immensely proud.

His compulsion may not have brought back her memories, but it had kept her calm and happy, enough to go for a walk and play a game of checkers after.

Watching Gabe with his mother was fascinating but for no real reason Soren could discern.

Gabe was just so…gentle with the woman. For all the anger and resentment he’d professed, he offered her nothing but soft smiles and calm reassurances.

Almost like he was channeling Danny but with a certain charm that was all his own.

He made her laugh and projected a confidence that had many of the other little old ladies staring after him.

Soren resisted the urge to hiss at them to stake his claim.

Golden boy. That was what Danny called his brother.

And he was. It was easy to see why he’d been so popular in high school.

Good looks and charm were enough on their own, but there was a genuine kindness and goodness underneath, even if Gabe wasn’t aware of it himself, and that was a rarity in this world.

Just another reason Soren should leave.

Soren wasn’t kind and good, not really. He was selfish and flighty. A monster, Gabe had called him. And it wasn’t far from the truth. Soren generally didn’t feel too bad about it. There were plenty of monsters in this world, and many were much, much worse than him.

But Gabe had apparently only ever wanted normalcy—to be a normal kid, a normal adult—and Soren had never even liked the word. Normalcy wasn’t something Soren could provide a partner.

But on the drive home, Soren still found himself letting Gabe hold his hand again. Because he was selfish. And he wanted this man with every fiber of his being. He’d had a taste now, and he could see it quickly becoming a true addiction.

Soren didn’t want to let this human go.

His phone dinged as they entered Danny’s house.

Coming for you, angel.