Page 119

Jamie

J amie wrapped the blankets tighter around himself at the sounds of footsteps approaching his bedroom.

There was only one person who would have come to look for him after his little tantrum earlier, and if Jamie could hear him coming, it meant Luc wanted him to.

Giving him fair warning or something like that.

Those vampires could be absurdly quiet moving around when they wanted to be.

How chivalrous , Jamie thought, with more than just a touch of bitterness. But he was cranky, okay? He ignored the knock on the door, curling tighter into a ball when the sound of the door opening followed a moment later.

Footsteps approached the bed. “You’re very angry with me, aren’t you, ma fleur?”

Oh, Luc was breaking out the French. Dumb vampire must know he fucked up.

Jamie felt the bed sink with the weight of Luc sitting down next to his huddled form, the dip in the mattress causing him to roll closer than he’d like. But he still didn’t speak.

He could swear on everything holy he’d never pouted a day in his life before, but he was just…overwhelmed right now. Awash with disappointment.

And on top of that… Fear. Because what if Luc never wanted him to turn?

Danny had said he’d thought Luc would turn his mate the moment he found him. But Luc had been hesitating from their very first meeting.

Jamie had thought Luc was waiting because he cared , because he needed to know that Jamie would be able to stay with the people he loved. But they knew now. They’d had their questions answered. And still, Luc hesitated.

Was Jamie just not good enough?

He’d thought they were so solid. It was fate. It was fucking destiny .

“You really covet eternal life so fiercely?” Luc’s gruff voice sounded from above Jamie’s blanket cocoon.

That bullshit dragged some words out of Jamie’s throat. “Fuck you if you that’s what you think this is about.”

Luc chuckled—he actually chuckled —at Jamie’s outburst, the absolute asshat. “Would you like to tell me what it is about?”

Don’t mind if I do. Jamie sat up in a rush, flinging the covers down around his hips.

“Are you ever going to be ready?” he asked, shoving an accusing finger into Luc’s hard chest. “I’m here.

I’m willing. I’m your fucking mate . And now we know.

We know Danny and Gabe both did fine with the transition. ”

Luc allowed himself to be harassed, not making a move to remove Jamie’s stabbing finger. “We do know that, yes.”

Jamie poked him again for good measure. “You turned Danny for, like, shits and giggles. He’s not even your mate. You had no connection to him. And you still turned him.” If Jamie’s voice broke a little on the last word, he wasn’t admitting it to anyone. His throat was just dry or something.

“Exactly,” Luc said calmly, as if Jamie had proven his point.

“I turned Danny because of vengeance. Fear. Obsession. I used him as a tool to see if mates even existed. My monster urged me to, and—and I wanted to as well. So I did. But see—” Luc reached out and brushed a lock of Jamie’s hair out of his eyes.

“You’ve tamed the monster, haven’t you? So now it’s just me.

The man underneath. And I’m terrified of causing you to…

regret me.” He pulled his hand back, sighing deeply. “I didn’t love Danny, flower.”

Something fluttered in Jamie’s belly, something warm and soft and hopeful. “But you love…me?” He knew they were bound, connected, ridiculously drawn to each other. But love implied a…knowing. An understanding and acceptance of another person, deeper than base instinct.

Luc smiled tenderly at him, his ever-present fangs glinting in the light. “How could I not? Just look at you. So brave. So beautiful. So…alive.”

Alive.

Was that such a large part of Luc’s attraction to him, that Jamie was human? Did he just crave what he himself lacked? Was that why he didn’t want Jamie to turn?

The word served as a reminder as to why Jamie was so angry with his vampire. He sniffed and crossed his arms, trying not to give in to Luc’s unexpected sweetness. “Well, I’ve loved you for years, so welcome to the fucking party.”

Luc sighed, cupping Jamie’s cheek with one warm hand.

Jamie allowed it because the touch felt pretty nice, not because he wasn’t still pissed.

“You were drawn to me, yes,” Luc said. “Attracted to me, surely. You felt the pull of our mate bond as I did. But you didn’t know, Jamie.

You couldn’t have known the real brute you would get. You could regret it, over time.”

Jamie shook his head furiously. Oh fuck no.

No other person—not even his mate—got to tell him how he felt.

He knew his own fucking mind. He knew his own heart.

“You don’t get it, Luc. I saw you. Those glimpses of you, over the years…

I’ve seen you feed, seen you drain a person dry.

I’ve seen you angry. I’ve seen you absolutely vicious.

And I’ve seen you sad . So unbearably sad, when no one else was looking.

And I wanted nothing more than to be there, by your side.

To be the anchor that kept you from sinking down into that fucking ocean of sadness all around you.

And now I am. I’m here . So what’s the fucking problem? ”

Luc was looking almost a little dazed by his declaration, his black eyes glassy. “I— But— Love can change , flower. Roman and I loved each other, in our way. And now he despises me. Everyone despises me eventually.”

Jamie waved that objection off with one hand. “Well, you can be a bit of a dick.”

Luc gave a begrudged, choked laugh, then took a deep breath, his thumb stroking Jamie’s cheek.

“If you grew to despise me, I would likely lose my mind. I would—I would snap, Jamie. I know I would. I hounded Roman for decades, and we weren’t even romantic.

If you leave me… If you reject me—I won’t let it go.

I won’t fade into the background graciously.

I’ll haunt you. Forever. Always. An eternity with me nipping at your heels.

Dragging you back to my evil lair, as young Daniel said. ”

That sounded fucking perfect to Jamie. He had no plans to leave this vampire’s side. But clearly Luc needed…something. Some reassurance. Jamie cocked his head, studying the man in front of him. “What are you looking for exactly? A promise of unconditional love?”

A flash across Luc’s face. Yes, that was definitely it. Luc wanted certainty. He wanted guarantees.

For a centuries-old creature of the night, he was acting awfully naive.

“Well, that’s fucking stupid,” Jamie declared bluntly.

Luc’s thumb paused its movement on his cheek.

“Unconditional love doesn’t exist, monster. Maybe— maybe —between parents and their kids, if you’re fucking lucky. But even then, there are a million exceptions I could cite, my own fucking father included. You want what, some sort of guarantee there’s nothing you can do to make me hate you?”

Luc looked stricken. “I— You’ve calmed the beast, yes, but I can’t say it won’t kill again. The monster craves it.”

Jamie threw up his hands. “You want to keep killing murderers and rapists? Go the fuck ahead. I won’t stop you.

You’re not going to earn my hatred that way, I promise you that.

But Luc, if you— Let’s see…” Jamie thought for a minute, trying to come up with an example of how Luc could shake his thoroughly entrenched devotion.

“Okay, monster. Let’s say—if you killed my family?

Yeah, then I would hate you. I’d despise you, probably.

I would never, ever forgive you for that. ”

Luc blanched at his words, his hand dropping from Jamie’s face, clearly hearing his worst fears confirmed.

Jamie grabbed a handful of Luc’s shirt, tugging him closer until they were nose to nose.

“But we would still be bound , monster. As you said, we’re bound whether you turn me or not, right?

I would hate you, but I wouldn’t let you go either.

You betray me? You hurt the only other people in this world I love?

Well, I’d haunt you right the fuck back.

I’d hate you, but I’d never leave you. I’d torment you with my twisted, broken love.

Is that what you want from me? Bound together, even in hatred? ”

Luc nodded weakly, heaving in a shaky breath, looking at Jamie like he was his salvation. His mortal god.

Jamie pressed a quick, firm kiss to his lips. “Okay, monster. I can give you that. If this ends, it ends in death. And I swear to all that is unholy, I will kill you first.” He grinned. “So if you think about it, you’ll never be alone, not even for a minute. Is that good enough for you?”

Luc’s shaky breath had turned into a sort of…panting?

Jamie laughed, incredulous. “Are you turned on right now? Was it all that talk about mutual destruction that got you so hot and bothered?”

Luc licked his lips. “Yes. Yes, very much so.”

Jamie released Luc’s shirt and leaned back onto his elbows, spreading his legs wide in invitation. “Well, what are you waiting for? Devour me.”

Luc lunged forward but stopped short, snarling a little, when Jamie held up a hand.

“Actually, wait.”

There was something the fuck twins had said. About never seeing Luc’s human face. They thought he was a lost cause, too close to feral for redemption. Jamie scrambled back up onto his knees, leaning closer, staring into the black shadows of Luc’s eyes.

“I’d like to see Lucien’s eyes, monster. Will you let me?”

He waited for a long, long moment as Luc stared back at him. And then there it was. It barely lasted a second, barely a breath, but it was definitely there. A flash of bright, emerald green.

He hadn’t imagined it, the other day.

Jamie smiled so wide it hurt his face. “Very good, monster. Very, very good.”

Luc shook his head in disbelief, but there was the smallest of smiles gracing his lips. “I can’t always tell if you’re talking to me or to it. You call us both monster.”

Jamie grabbed onto Luc’s shoulders, pulling the vampire on top of him on the bed.

“I can’t always tell the difference either.

You’re both just…my monster. You wouldn’t be you without that beast inside you.

But see? There’s nothing to worry about.

You won’t betray me, Luc. You won’t fuck up beyond repair.

Your monster wouldn’t let you. He knows who he belongs to. ”

This time when Luc took him, he took him like he was something precious. Something unbearably breakable. He devoured Jamie, yes, but as if he was a delicacy. A rarity to be savored, whispering French words of devotion into Jamie’s skin. “Je t’aime. Je t’adore. Ma fleur, mon trésor.”

Jamie let himself be swept away in it, writhing in delight as Luc opened him up first with his tongue, then with his fingers, until he was finally notching the head of his cock against Jamie’s slicked-open rim.

He hooked his legs around Luc’s waist, keening when Luc entered him, raising his hips to meet him thrust for thrust. He bared his neck in invitation, and Luc bit into him like he was a ripe peach.

He didn’t gulp down Jamie’s blood this time but sipped gently at his neck.

He wasn’t consuming it for food, for substance.

It was about connection—a piece of Jamie for him and him alone.

Jamie’s breath hitched at each rock of Luc’s hips, that tingling pleasure coming at him from two sides: the bite of Luc’s teeth and the thrust of his cock.

He was so full . Of love. Of happiness.

Of Luc’s fucking monster cock.

But he didn’t want anything holding them back anymore, not even for the sake of sweetness.

Jamie spoke the words he’d practiced into Luc’s ear. “Je t’aime, mon monstre. Pour toujours.”

Luc shuddered above him as the declaration ran through him, and Jamie dug his nails in one long stripe along his back, drawing blood. “Now let go.”

Luc snarled, his face a delicious blend of lust and agony, before yanking Jamie’s hips into a higher angle, sliding his arms up and around Jamie’s shoulders, and driving into him with abandon, adding the perfect bite of pain to Jamie’s pleasure.

“Yes,” Jamie moaned, dragging more welts into his vampire’s skin. “Fuck yes.”

When he felt the telltale signs—the fire pooling in his abdomen, the sparks of fire along his spine—Jamie dug his nails into Luc’s shoulder before latching his mouth onto the newly formed red streaks, tearing with his teeth and letting the taste of copper fill his mouth as his dick jerked between them.

Luc went completely still for a long moment before his hips stuttered one last time and he filled Jamie with a long, low moan.

In the aftermath, Jamie tried to catch his breath as Luc licked at his throat, closing up his bite. Jamie’s own marks were already fading on his vampire’s skin.

Luc raised his head, staring down at him. “Did you truly bite me, flower? Drink my blood?”

Jamie smirked. “I wanted a little taste. It’s not bad.”

Luc huffed a husky laugh before flopping his full weight onto him, forcing the breath out of Jamie and tucking his head into the crook of Jamie’s neck, nosing along the skin there. “I love the way you smell after I take you.”

“Mm. How lovely. Where is everybody, by the way? Were they all just listening in on our fuckfest like a bunch of perverts?”

Luc’s laugh tickled his skin. “A truce was negotiated with the twins. We’re to help them find the feral vampire. For now, Roman and Danny and the little strange one have gone to stay at my hotel room.”

They lay there, Jamie reveling in the warm weight of the bulky vampire on top of him, before Luc spoke again, a rare hesitancy in his voice. “I’m sorry I caused you to doubt my devotion. I could do it now, if you still wish.”

Jamie had a feeling he was witnessing a very rare thing. A true apology from Lucien, self-professed vicious beast.

In response, Jamie found himself yawning before pushing and prodding at his vampire until Luc was flat on his back and Jamie had his head tucked under his stubbled chin, settling in for what he knew was going to be a good fucking sleep. “Not just yet. Let me see my mom first.”