Page 73 of Valor’s Flight (The New Protectorate #5)

I thought I had a little more time.

She’d hardly had a moment to really sit with what she’d done, let alone how long it would take for the hyphae to present itself to him.

Of course she could feel him in it, but she’d always been told that it could take days, even weeks for spouses to integrate into the network.

Some, like a handful of her relatives, were never truly able to access it.

The idea that Taevas would be so quickly accepted by the hyphae and able to hear her hadn’t even occurred to her.

A wild, reckless sort of joy lodged itself behind her breastbone. It burned like a flame in her chest, hot enough to sear away the fear that threatened to seal her lips shut. What a gift it was to know her family had accepted him.

To deny it, to pretend it didn’t exist, would be a rejection of that honor.

Bracing herself for his reaction, Alashiya forced the words through the constriction of her throat. “Taevas, I… There’s something I didn’t tell you about what happened when we were driving here.”

Unable to look at him, she reached for his right hand. The one with the scar the healer couldn’t fix. The one that she bound to her in that stolen car. The one that made him hers.

Holding their hands side by side and palm up, she aligned the silvery lines. Hers had already begun to branch into fine roots — a visible extension of the vast network that permeated her body. His was shallow and thin, a testament to how unwilling she was to hurt him.

Her eyes stung as she stroked his scar with the tip of her finger. “I thought you were going to die. I felt you just— just slipping away and there was nothing I could do. We were too far away from help. I didn’t know how to save you.”

Taevas stroked her damp hair back from her cheek with his free hand. In a soft voice, he asked, “What happened, my queen?”

Turning her hand over, she pressed their palms together.

Their scars aligned, hyphae to hyphae, blood to blood.

She didn’t want to cry. She wanted to own what she’d done and why she’d done it.

But the tears came anyway. They were a violent release of grief and the shadow of a loss that would’ve buckled her.

A tear streaked down to drip from her chin when she confessed, “I didn’t know how to save you but I couldn’t let you go. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His fingers curled around the back of her neck. Tilting her head up so she was forced to look him in the eye, Taevas growled, “Whatever you did, you have nothing to be sorry for. You saved me, Shiya. You saved me again and again and again. I promise you, whatever you did, you’re forgiven.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that.” He squeezed the nape of her neck. Pressing their foreheads together, he insisted, “Because I know you. Whatever you did, you did it because you had to.”

“That’s not true. A part of me just wanted to,” she admitted, breathing hitching. “A big part of me was too selfish to let you go. Even if you hated me— I didn’t care.”

He huffed. “I could never hate you.”

Alashiya squeezed her eyes shut. “I married you, Taevas.”

There was a long pause. She couldn’t look at him. Instead, she reminded herself that he was alive. That she’d brought him back to his clan and his people. That she’d been selfish, yes, but she couldn’t regret it when it saved his life.

“You… what?”

“I married you,” she repeated, voice hoarse. Squeezing his scarred hand, she explained, “I cut your hand and I cut mine and I— I married us. I brought you into the hyphae because I thought it could stabilize you or— or give you some strength or—”

“Shiya, Shiya. Stop. Open your eyes.” The strangled note in his voice made her flinch away, but her eyes opened.

Taevas stared at her with a fervent, incredulous expression.

His eyes were wide, the skin pulled tight over his cheekbones, and his mouth pressed into a rigid line.

She had no doubt that his wings would’ve mantled if they hadn’t been strapped to his back.

The hyphae buzzed with activity in the back of her mind, whipped to a frenzy by whatever intense feeling he was experiencing.

She knew she could tap into it if she wanted to. She might even be able to speak to him if he could already hear snippets of her thoughts. But she didn’t dare. She’d violated his trust enough.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I understand that you’re angry. You should be. Just— please don’t send me away.”

To be hated was one thing, but to be physically separated from her husband would be a misery beyond comparison. They were bound in the hyphae now. Prolonged separation would diminish them both, physically and mentally.

Maybe she deserved that misery, but he didn’t.

“Of course I’m angry,” Taevas hissed. He grabbed her hand and held it between them, palm up to show her scar. “Are you telling me that I missed our wedding?”

Alashiya stared at him, unsure how to react. “You were dying. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Can we do it again?” he demanded through clenched teeth.

She blinked. “I… Huh?”

“Can we do it again, Alashiya.” It wasn’t a question this time.

“No,” she answered, “it can only be done once. Why?”

“Because I can’t have missed our fucking wedding, Shiya!” he exclaimed, voice raw.

She sniffed hard, too overwhelmed to feel any relief. “You’re not mad that I took the choice from you? That I brought you into the hyphae?”

Taevas let out an incredulous laugh. “Are you mad that I Chose you? I didn’t ask either, Shiya.”

“You…” Her shoulders shook, making it hard to speak. “You Chose me?

He cupped her cheeks and pressed a quick series of fervent kisses to her trembling lips. “I love you, naine. I’ve loved you for a decade. If I’m angry, it’s only because I wish I could remember the moment when you claimed me, too.”

Alashiya stroked her hands down his naked chest, feeling the heat of his skin and the thundering beat of his heart.

Her voice was thick with a different type of tears when she explained, “I cut us with my sewing shears and bound our hands together with the sash from your robe. It wasn’t a very pretty ceremony. ”

Taevas jolted with surprise. “The sash? Gods, no wonder it was bloody.”

“Yes,” she answered, miming the way she’d wrapped their hands together. “I said my vows and wrapped our hands together. I had to be sure you got enough of my blood, so I tried to do it as tight as I could.”

He tilted his head back and blinked at the ceiling, apparently struggling to wrap his head around what she told him. “But… but you told me how much a wedding meant to your grove,” he protested.

“I can wear my veil and my jewelry when I’m dead. I don’t need anything other than you.”

“No, Shiya,” he growled. “No, it matters. You deserve that. You deserve to have the wedding you dreamed of.”

Alashiya stroked the hard line of his jaw, a great, expanding warmth filling her chest. “You ridiculous, bossy dragon. I don’t care about any of that. If you’d died, I never would’ve gotten the chance to wear my veil anyway.”

“You would’ve found someone else,” he whispered. “You’re too perfect to be alone, Shiya. You deserve more than that. More than me.”

She rose up onto her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I made my choice when I turned my ass around and came back for you. Whatever happens next, we do it together, okay?”

Taevas rubbed his lips back and forth against hers, sharing breath and warmth and reassurance with her in a way that made every cell of her body hum.

The hyphae bloomed under the glow of their connection, the energy of it reaching deep into the very root of her soul. The strong purple thread of him wound its way through her, strengthening the parts of the network that had grown weak and withered with disuse.

Alashiya held him close, tears stinging behind her eyelids as she took what felt like her first deep breath since the death of her grove.

Like the slowly decaying warren of her home, the hyphae had gradually begun to shrivel and close off its branches. But life had been breathed back into it — her. That was worth more than any perfect wedding or fairytale romance could ever be.

Taevas rubbed the tip of his nose against hers.

They didn’t open their eyes as they breathed together, their hands roaming slowly over each other’s bodies like they needed to memorize every dip, curve, and bone.

In a voice that was hardly more than a breath, he said, “I can feel you. I can hear you. Thank the gods that’s not just the pain meds talking. ”

A soft laugh tumbled out of her. “You’re part of the hyphae now. We’ll always be with each other, even when we’re not.”

“You Chose me,” he said, delight beginning to shine through. “You Chose me.”

“I did,” she replied, cheeks cramping with the force of her grin. “With the blessing of my family, by the way.”

Taevas pulled back. Looking like he was putting some pieces together, he shook his head. “Is that who I’ve been hearing?”

Alashiya patted his chest. “They’re chatty.”

Huffing, he muttered, “Well, at least I’m used to dealing with a clan.”

“They seem… interesting.”

“That’s a word for it.” Gently smoothing her damp curls back behind her ears, he visibly gathered himself before telling her, “They’re going to smother you, I’m afraid.”

Not knowing how else to release her suddenly nervous energy, she began to button his shirt for him. It was such a mundane, domestic task — one she’d dreamed of doing a thousand times for her Adon. Her husband.

He Chose me. The thrill of that buzzed from the top of her head to her toes.

“What if I’m not good with them?” she asked, neck bent as she focused on her task.

“You will be.” He pulled his shoulders back and allowed her to do her work.

The warmth of his pleasure glowed in the hyphae with every brush of her fingers.

“My cousins Hele and Alex are coming to spend time with you today. You can tell them if you’re comfortable with Vael coming by, but Radek is non-negotiable. He’s the head of your Wing now.”