Page 58 of Valor’s Flight (The New Protectorate #5)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

They staggered into the house, sweaty, a little dirty, and sated. Her body was satisfied, at least. And a little sore. A lot sore.

Alashiya didn’t spare the burn between her legs or the pleasant ache in her muscles a thought.

She wanted to, but there wasn’t time. Even if there was, she wasn’t certain she could’ve risked dwelling on what they’d done.

The memory was already too bright, too hot to touch.

It burned in the back of her mind, as perfect and dangerous as a new star.

“Mike will have the car ready tomorrow morning. If you can just hide until then, we should be okay,” she told him, her mind already running through everything that would need to be done.

A bag would have to be found and enough of her things packed to last her a week.

She doubted she’d be gone that long, but—

Don’t, she firmly instructed herself. Her throat spasmed hard, threatening tears. Don’t, Shiya. There isn’t time.

Alashiya couldn’t bear to look at him, so she hustled into the living room, intent on finding some clothing to replace what he’d torn.

She’d walked back to the house in the tattered remains of her slip.

There was no way she could focus on what would need to be done if she continued to wear the reminder of the best moment of her entire life.

“Shiya—”

“I don’t think he’ll have it ready first thing tomorrow, but we should leave at dawn anyway, just to be safe.

You can stay in the woods and I’ll pick you up once I have the car.

” She yanked at the neatly folded bundles of clothing in her dresser, unseeing, barely even feeling the fabric under her fingers.

Fear made it almost impossible to draw a complete breath in.

“He needs to change the oil,” she chattered, blindly selecting a soft summer dress from the bottom of the pile. “It’s— it’s an old car, so—”

A large purple hand closed over hers, easing her death grip on the dress. “Alashiya,” Taevas rumbled against her back, “stop this. Look at me.”

It should’ve been easy. An hour ago she’d been impaled on his cock, demanding he come inside her as she stared unblinkingly into his eyes, desperate to memorize every minute shift in his expression. But now all she wanted to do was run again.

Not because she regretted it. Not because she felt awkward or shy.

She wanted to run because it’d been spectacular. More than anything she could’ve dreamed of, better than every fantasy.

A sense of impending doom had driven off her inhibitions and propelled her to ask for things she never would’ve otherwise. It heightened her pleasure, but when the sweat cooled and reality crept in, it made her stomach churn with nausea.

That was it, she couldn’t help but think. My one chance. I took it and now it’s done.

Because Taevas had to leave. Sergei was clearly the one hunting him, and even if he wasn’t, Taevas had to get back to his people as soon as possible, or else the gods knew what would happen.

Once he was back where he belonged, this thing between them would end — one way or another. Alashiya had gotten caught up in the fantasy they’d woven together, but it was dispelled the moment she looked at Debbie’s tablet.

There was no place for her in his world, no matter what he said. They had nothing in common save for a coincidence. Nothing held them together, except perhaps his gratitude for what she’d done for him and her desperation to keep him.

Neither of those things were the foundation of a lasting relationship.

Alashiya swallowed again. It was getting harder. She hadn’t even lost him yet. Her thighs were still sticky with his release and his scent lingered on her skin. He was behind her, his hand covering her own, and yet it already felt as though she’d lost him.

Grief was a jagged piece of glass in her throat. I don’t want to be alone again.

It’d been tolerable when it was all she’d ever known, but now… Now the idea of facing the rest of her life without him was like walking into a jail cell of her own making.

She didn’t want to go a day without hearing his bossy voice. She didn’t want to dream of Adon anymore. She didn’t want to wake up to every tiny sound in the night, afraid that the worst had finally come to pass.

With Taevas, for the first time in her life, she hadn’t been afraid. She’d been prepared to step outside the carefully crafted walls of her castle not simply because he asked, but because she finally felt like she could.

But that had been its own kind of fantasy. The reality was always that he would return to his people. Or worse. Sergei was definitely worse.

It was one thing for him to leave. It was another for someone to hurt him.

Alashiya was sliced to ribbons at the thought of him not being a part of her life, but the threat that Sergei posed, the memories of what he looked like the night he crashed into her barn, the pain he still suffered… Intolerable.

All of those thoughts hammered her as she came down from the high of their coupling.

Adrenaline coursed through her, giving her a frenetic energy that had no outlet.

She didn’t even realize she was trembling until Taevas wrapped his arms around her middle and drew her into his chest. A low, comforting rumble passed through him and into her, immediately easing some of the bone-shattering tension coiling her muscles.

“Be calm, metsalill,” he commanded. Taevas pressed his lips into the curve of her shoulder and let out a long breath. “There is no need to panic. We will bathe, then we will pack your things and make our plan.”

Alashiya gripped his forearms. “Sergei said he was coming back. We can’t stay here. Taevas, he has men with him. Men who aren’t right. What if you get hurt again?”

“Then I will be hurt defending what is most precious to me. There is nothing more honorable than that.” He turned her slowly until they were facing one another. Still, she couldn’t quite look at him, afraid that if she did, she’d burst into tears.

Taevas brushed her cheek with his thumb, wordlessly asking for her to look up. She couldn’t. Instead, she stared at his collar bones, her vision blurring with tears she tried so hard to fight off.

“Why won’t look at me, metsalill?” he rasped. “Are you embarrassed by what we did? Ashamed? Angry?”

An astonished breath escaped her. “What? No. No. Never. That was the best moment of my entire life. It was everything to me. I’m…” She fought to keep her voice level, to not let him hear how upset she was, but it was impossible to conceal. “I’m afraid, Taevas.”

He pressed his cheek against her temple. Breathing the words into her ear, he grated, “I have asked too much of you, my Shiya, and given you nothing in return. To know that you are afraid even when I’m with you is— it guts me. You should never feel fear when we’re together. Never.”

Something in his voice changed when he continued, “Hear me now, minu metsalill: this will pass. You will never be put in this position again. You will never fear again. But for right now, you must trust me.”

She could only nod. Words couldn’t make it out of her throat even if she could think of what to say.

Taevas’s sigh fluttered through her tangled hair. “We will bathe. You will let me care for you, and then we will figure out our next steps. Understood?”

A strangled laugh escaped her. “You’re being bossy again.” Gods, I’m going to miss that so much.

“Even a queen needs to be told what to do every now and again,” he replied, already guiding her out of the living room and down the hall to the bathroom.

Yeah, she silently agreed. But only if it’s you.

They barely managed to squeeze into the bathroom together, but Taevas was determined, so of course he made it happen.

Alashiya watched him shed his dirt-soiled pants with a mix of fondness and anticipatory grief.

He did it so shamelessly, so comfortably — like he belonged there, not just in her tiny bathroom but with her.

It was like they’d done this a thousand times. Taevas got the shower going while she slid off the tattered remains of her slip, and when the room began to fill with steam, he grabbed her hand and carefully guided her over the lip of the antique bathtub.

The water pressure wasn’t great and there was barely an inch of free space to move around, but neither of them cared.

Taevas placed her head on his chest and guided her backward until the hot water splashed down her spine.

It should’ve been too warm for a summer afternoon, but at some point her internal temperature had gone haywire, leaving her feeling chilled to her marrow.

Big hands glided over her wet curves and delicately combed through her curls, picking out twigs, feathery bits of moss, and bracken. She shuddered at the ticklish sensation and melted into him.

“That’s better,” he crooned, sounding deeply self-satisfied. “Soft and at ease. Letting me tend to you makes everything right again. This is how it should be.”

Her chest still felt too tight, that hook pulling constantly on her heart, but he was right. She did feel a little better. It was hard not to when his heartbeat thundered under her ear like the perfect drumbeat it was.

Closing her eyes, she turned her head just enough to catch a drop of water as it slid down his skin. It tasted just a bit sweeter for having touched him.

“Aren’t you worried?” She couldn’t help but ask. He was all urgency and terror when they met in the woods, but now he seemed worryingly calm.

“I am,” he answered, reaching for her washcloth.

Dabbing a bit of soap on it, he began to scrub the sweat and…

other things from her skin. “I am more than worried. I am also fucking furious that we are in this position at all. I want nothing more than to steal away with you right this second and put you where you belong — safe in our nest.”

Rinsing the cloth free of suds, he used warm water and gentle pressure to cleanse the apex of her thighs. A jolt of discomfort made her tense up, but Taevas made a soothing sound and held the cloth there for a moment, letting the warmth ease some of the sting.

“But you are my first concern in all things,” he continued, his voice dropping into a hypnotic bass note that made her eyelids droop.

She didn’t realize how exhausted she was until he brushed her eyelids with wet fingers, urging them to close.

“You are the beat of my heart and my fire and the joy of my nest. Without you, I have nothing. So I will always tend to you first. Everything else will wait.”

She made a noncommittal noise. “You have a territory to get back to, Taevas. I’m not more important than that.”

Instead of replying, Taevas set the wash cloth aside and cupped the back of her head, holding her even closer as the water pelted them both. “I have a question for you.”

“Okay.”

“Why were you so certain I wouldn’t get you pregnant?” His tone was perfectly level, revealing nothing. “Was it simply the heat of the moment? If so, we should discuss—”

Alashiya shook her head as much as their position allowed. It was a good thing the water was hot, or else he’d notice her full-body flush that accompanied the memories of what they’d done in the woods. “No, it wasn’t. Nymphs can't have children with people outside of the hyphae.”

“What?”

“That’s why marriage is so important to us,” she explained, properly drowsy now. “If I marry a nymph, it’s more of a formality, but if I marry outside of the hyphae the ceremony brings them in. That way we can have children, and those children will be born in the hyphae, too.”

Taevas’s chest moved under her cheek with a sharp inhalation. “How does that work?”

“Blood,” she answered, recalling all those times she’d sacrificed a drop to Adon’s clothing. To keep him safe. To tie them together in the only way she could. Little sacrifices to bind her magic more tightly into the weave, yes, but also a shallow imitation of the connection she so craved.

The hook behind her chest tugged gently. A tiny push against the soft meat of her heart. For the first time since they’d met, she really examined the feeling — only to immediately shy away from what she found.

Blood calls to blood. Hyphae to hyphae.

“You have to be infected with the mycelium. When we— I marry, I’d give my blood to my partner and vice versa. When the hyphae takes, a pregnancy can happen. Otherwise the mycelium sees it as a threat and destroys it.”

He was quiet for a long time. Long enough for her mind to drift, escaping the tumult that had tortured it since they left that perfect spot in the woods.

“I see.” His wet tail slid around her thigh and gave it a proprietary squeeze. His whisper-soft murmur was nearly drowned out by the water when he said, “Another thing to look forward to, then.”