Page 59 of Valor’s Flight (The New Protectorate #5)

Chapter Thirty-Nine

She woke up with a start.

Alashiya sat up in bed, her skin clammy and her mind off-kilter. She hardly recalled falling asleep, only that at some point Taevas had shushed her as he dried her skin with a towel.

But he was nowhere to be found now.

Alashiya’s head swiveled as she strained to see him in the darkness. An acute sense of disorientation made it even harder to get her bearings. How long had she been asleep? It’d been mid-afternoon when they came back to the house after—

She had to suck in a deep breath. Even half-awake and anxious, the thought of what they’d done made her forget what it was like to breathe normally.

“Taevas?” Her voice was scratchy with sleep when she called out to him. She received no reply. Urgency whispered along the hyphae, sending a flurry of whispers through her mind.

Alashiya shook off the heaviness of her nap and crawled out of bed. Her muscles were sore and other parts of her protested loudly as she clambered to her feet, but she ignored it all. Her heart pounded in her ears as she hobbled over to her dresser and the mess she’d made of it.

Her hands shook. He didn’t leave, she sternly told herself. He wouldn’t just— he wouldn’t just leave me. He’d at least say goodbye. Something must’ve happened.

But a small, disproportionately loud part of her couldn’t help but run through all the reasons that might not be the case. Perhaps he’d done the smart thing and run as soon as it got dark. He’d stayed for her, but maybe he realized how foolish that was and took the first opportunity to slip out.

Her stomach swooped dangerously low, leaving her feeling sick in the aftermath.

Maybe having sex was a nice goodbye or— No. No, Shiya. Don’t try to ruin something good just because you’re scared.

Blindly throwing on her overalls and boots, she opened her mouth to call out again when a sound from the kitchen made her freeze. It was the soft squeak of hinges.

The urge to run was so strong, she nearly bolted for the open hallway door, but was stopped before she could make little more than a step in its direction. A pair of familiar violet eyes peered at her from the darkness of the hallway.

“Shiya?” It was an unspeakable relief to hear that familiar rumble.

Alashiya’s knees went watery, but that didn’t stop her from hurtling across the room. He caught her in his arms and squeezed her tightly to him, a concerned series of clicks and chirps emanating from his chest.

In that sharp, I’m the Isand voice, he demanded, “What’s wrong? I was only gone a moment—”

“Nothing,” she answered, cutting him off. She sniffled hard. “I just woke up and you weren’t there and I freaked out a little.”

Taevas hummed and bent to press a series of soft, apologetic kisses to her cheeks and forehead. “I see. I would be afraid too, if I woke and found you’d left our nest. I’m sorry, metsalill. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The urge to grab him by the horns and just hold on, like she had to get a good grip on him or he’d disappear forever, seared her. Alashiya had to clench her fingers by her sides to stop herself.

Trying to not sound as out of her mind as she felt, she asked, “Where did you go?”

With his night time coloring, Taevas’s expression was mostly lost in the darkness, save for his eyes and the occasional flash of his pearly white teeth. He sounded worryingly serious when he answered, “I had to prepare things. I packed your bag for you and fetched something from the barn.”

Alashiya’s brow crinkled. “You packed… But all my clothes are still here.” She couldn’t see much with the lights off, but she’d felt it when she waded through the mess of nearly all of her clothes spilled out across the floor.

“I packed your important things,” he smoothly corrected. “Everything else we’ll come back for, but I didn’t want to risk anything happening to your keepsakes or your work while we’re gone. I put your chest and embroidery kit in a bag on the porch.”

“Oh. Okay.” She blinked a few times, once more attempting to get her bearings. Another wave of clamminess washed over her. “Are we going now?”

Taevas stroked her hair with both hands, his huge palms swallowing the sides of her head with every pass. The violet disks of his eyes gleamed in the darkness when he looked at her for what felt like a very long time.

“No,” he answered, slow and controlled. “You are leaving.”

“What?”

“You are going to take your bag and walk as far from here as you can, then hide in the woods. You will stay in your hiding spot until morning, then make your way back to Debbie and Mike’s to pick up the car.

I will meet you at the border of the Thompsons’ farm.

If I don’t come for you by noon, you need to drive toward Drummond Island.

As soon as you cross over the border into the ’Riik, find a peacekeeper station and ask for Vael Orlov. ”

He said it all so coolly, so reasonably, that it took a moment for her mind to catch up with what he was really telling her.

Balking, Alashiya took a sharp step backward. “Wait, you want me to leave without you?”

Taevas let her go, but his tail followed her. She could feel it brushing her ankle when he replied, “I told you that you are my priority, Shiya. That means I have to put your safety above all things.”

“But what about—”

He cut her off with a calmness that somehow frightened her more. “If nothing happens tonight, then there’s no harm in it. But Sergei would be stupid to not search your land now that he knows about it, and I’ll cut my own tail off before I let him near you again, my Shiya.”

“Then come with me,” she argued, feeling increasingly like she’d never woken up and was stuck in some slowly escalating nightmare. “There’s no reason for us to split up. That’s how people die, Taevas! We stick together and we live.”

“You’ll hide better and get farther if I’m not with you. We both know that.” Finally, a faint thread of strain entered his voice, shaking that seemingly unflappable authority. “Everything will be fine, but you must do this for me.”

“No.” She clenched her fists and struggled to get her ragged breathing under control. “Fuck no. I’m not leaving you without a good reason, and you haven’t given me one.”

Taevas sucked in a deep breath. Whether it was for patience or something else, she couldn’t say. “Sergei is the one who kidnapped me. I intend to find out why.”

All the blood rushed from her head at once. “You— you want to confront him? Taevas, you’re injured! And he outnumbers you. There are at least three men with him. How do you think you’re going to take him?”

“I’ll manage,” he bit out, “but only if I know you’re safe.”

She crowded close to jam a finger into his chest. “That’s too bad, because I’m not going to leave you! If I run, you follow me. That’s what you said. Remember?”

“If I don’t do this now, there is every chance he’ll go to ground and we’ll never know what happened or who he’s working with,” he bit out, angrier than she’d ever seen him.

His tail rattled in the darkness, punctuating every furious word.

“I could maybe live with that, if only I didn’t have you to think of.

It’s my duty to protect you. It’s non-negotiable. ”

“So because of me, you’d rather put your life in danger than do the smart thing?” Alashiya couldn’t make sense of it. She refused to. “If you cared about me even half as much as you say you do, you’d come with me! You wouldn’t risk—”

Taevas’s audible growl raised the hair on the back of her neck. “You want me to live, Alashiya? Then go. That’s the only way I’ll be able to focus. The only way I’ll be able to keep you safe. I need you to trust me. One last time. Just trust me.”

She staggered backward. Throat closing so tightly she struggled to draw a breath in, Alashiya shook her head.

Echoes of the past made her head swim, but her heart hadn’t hurt quite so bad when she was a child.

Not until later, when the reality of loss finally settled in.

Now it felt like he’d torn something fragile from her and crushed it in his fist.

He wouldn’t run with her. History was repeating itself, and she’d be left alone again just when it felt like she’d found something worth living for.

Just because she could understand some of the logic of his argument didn’t mean she wasn’t angry. He swore he’d always follow her, but at the first opportunity, sent her away.

Bile crawled up her throat, scalding the walls. Echoes of that night so many years ago were loud in her ears. At least her parents had never made her promises. Not like Taevas had.

I should’ve known, she thought, stepping sharply around him to head for the kitchen. She didn’t bother turning on any lights. She didn’t want him to see how hard his words had hit her.

What are you, anyway? Nothing.

“Shiya.” Her name sounded gritty on his tongue, like he couldn’t force it out without discomfort. “Shiya, listen to me—”

She didn’t stop to listen. If he wanted her gone, then she’d leave. Alashiya wouldn’t be the thing that got him killed. He had a territory to get back to, after all.

The world was bathed in moonlight when she stepped out onto the porch. Her nose and eyes burned with unshed tears, but she found the bag quickly enough. He’d leaned it up against the mossy wall of the house beside an ancient double barrel shotgun.

The sight of it made her pause for just a moment as she reached for the old satchel. She hadn’t seen, let alone thought of her grandmother’s gun in decades. He must’ve found it when he was rooting around for tools in the barn, though what he expected to do with it, she couldn’t say.

Her grandmother purchased it after the shifters came, but she’d been too unsettled by it to keep it in the house.

Alashiya didn’t think she’d ever even loaded it.

Unlike modern guns, this one took bullets, which she doubted anyone could buy anymore.

Had he found some alongside the gun? Would it even work after spending decades out in the decaying barn?

For his sake, she hoped so.

Alashiya didn’t want this to be the last time she saw him. She just didn’t have much hope.

Slinging the heavy satchel over her shoulder, she ignored the weight of Taevas’s scrutiny as she stepped stiffly off the porch and into the garden. A corner of her cedar chest dug into her side with every step.

“Shiya.”

Something in his voice stopped her short. She stood there, back to him and fingers locked around the strap of her satchel, waiting.

There was a tense beat of silence before Taevas rasped, “Trust me, minu metsalill. We’ll be together tomorrow.”

Grief was an angry, tearing thing in her chest now. It didn’t leave any room for trust, let alone the idea of a tomorrow.