Page 41 of Unwritten Vows

Derrick

I sense the danger I’m in. My arm shoots out and grabs where I think the man’s neck should be, and I grasp it with all my might, trying to wake up fully.

I’m wrestled back into a lying position, and when more of my senses come back to me, I realize I’m trying to choke the Bolyar to death, and I’m somehow still alive. I retract my hand immediately as Yaroslav waves to his guards to stand down.

He gives me a stern gaze. “If anyone is going to kill him, it’ll be me.”

He looks down at me, invading my space. His face is a mottled red, and when he speaks, I can tell he’s quite angry. “You’re right to be afraid, boy. There’s only one reason you’re mending right now instead of being killed slowly, and I’m not it.”

I keep my face straight, even though I’m in a lot of pain. “Not afraid. It’s just instinct when I sense I need to defend myself.”

“Yes, you do.” The Bolyar eyes me critically. “I let you into my home. I let you eat my food and date my daughter, my most precious treasure. And how do you repay us? Vy zaklyuchili s etim sdelku cyka blyat’!” You made a deal with that fucking shit!

I take exception to Yaroslav blaming me for the deal that was made with Edoardo. I know he must be extremely angry, and I’m not exactly in a position to argue with anyone right now, but I need to set the record straight.

“I didn’t make a deal with him! My father did. I never agreed to anything, and I never wanted anyone else. YA khochu tvoyu doch' !”

He stops short at my last few words, spoken in Russian back at him. I want your daughter . Then he continues. “You think I would allow you anywhere near her right now? After you took her sweet, precious heart and stomped on it?”

“We have been texting back and forth, Yaroslav. She knew something was up and she stopped on and off. She’s smarter than you think.”

He grabs me by the neck and pulls me toward his face, squeezing. “You think I believe my daughter to be stupid?”

I shake my head harshly. “No, absolutely not. I’m just telling you that I… I care for her very much. Without her, I felt…” I gulp. “I felt empty.”

His face is still a mottled red. “Likely words from an ambitious young man who has just inherited his father’s empire and wants even more. What happened with Isabella Paniccuci? She decided she wasn’t interested? Or perhaps her father did?”

It takes me a while to remember that Isabella is Eduardo’s daughter. “I’ve never even spoken to her, Bolyar. My father was making those plans without me.”

“There’s not one word of that sentence I actually believe,” he says gruffly. “You came here with your father. You got Liza interested, led her on so she would boost your name. And then you dropped her as soon as something better came along.”

I push my head back in frustration, but decide that the honest route is probably my best way to go. “I’ve done it before, you’re right. It’s the way I’ve been taught to conduct relationships. But the other girls didn’t even like me. And I stopped it with Liza. I’m telling you the truth.”

I still see the skepticism in his eyes, so I continue. “I came here after it was all over. Why would I choose this house, of all places, Yaroslav? Why would I come here injured and battered to hell?”

“To get in our good graces again!”

I am too tired for bullshit. I look at him flatly. “With all due respect, sir, you’re not exactly the embodiment of a welcoming face, and you’re not stupid, either. I knew you would be skeptical of me. I just didn’t realize you’d be quite this angry.”

He simmers for a moment, before he speaks.

“There is far more questioning for you down the road, boy. But you have a chance to answer honestly now. You really think I should believe you truly want my daughter, even when your father called me to discuss a better deal after we had made one, and after the two of you were already engaged?”

I’m actually a bit embarrassed, even though I had my father make that idiotic phone call because I wanted to help Mara.

But now, it’s all on the table, and I have to try to explain what happened the best way I can.

I’m tempted to lie about everything, but part of me wonders how much he already knows, and another part of me doesn’t want to lie to him or his daughter ever again.

Yeah, Derrick. I’m sure lots of others in the mafia routinely tell themselves that the truth shall set them free.

I blow out dejectedly and say my piece anyway. “I am asking you to believe me. I killed him. I killed him because I… I’m falling for your daughter.”

He studies me again for a long moment. “She told me you did it, but I didn’t believe it. I’m still not sure I do, even hearing it from your mouth. The apple can’t fall that far from the tree, especially not in this life.”

“You’re right,” I say quietly, unable to look up into his face.

“At first, I was playing the same game that he was, okay? I was with her so that she’d fall for me, and I could then use her name to be in a better position overall.

The first two dates were ploys to get her to like me enough just to link us.

My father and I did want a better deal though, it’s true.

I wasn’t sure I’d end up with her. But the third and fourth dates…

I was the one who fell for her, Yaroslav.

And I’m sitting here willing to tell you that I care about her.

When I pulled the trigger to kill my own father, she was the loudest thought in my head. ”

He looks off in contemplation, but eventually sighs and shakes his head.

“I can’t. I can’t trust you. I don’t know how my daughter will be able to either, and I’ll need to make sure you don’t hurt her again.

You knew of your father’s plans from the beginning, and that cannot stand.

We will simply extract anything else we may need from you, and then I’ll see what I’m going to do with your life. ”

It feels like this conversation has come to an end, because I can’t think of anything else to say. I’m not trying to swindle him into believing me. I don’t want to try and pull one over on him or Liza, and the truth is, I understand completely why they don’t trust me.

“If you both give me another chance, I can show you that I’m not like him. I’m not like my father.”

The great Bolyar inflates his chest and looks down on me like a king in battle. “You may get another chance with your life, boy, but you will never have another chance to hurt her.”

*****

I am in far worse shape than I thought, but not so terrible that I can’t make calls and reassure the jumpy, anxious bosses my father worked with in place of Divny that everything will still go forward just as planned.

That’s a good thing, because the Bolyar forces me to make those calls right in front of him, at gunpoint, to ensure I haven’t lied or said anything untoward about his daughter.

Thank goodness, no one seems to have been privy to my father’s doomed plans besides me, and no one else brings it up.

I try to make jokes and smooth things over when I can, but if anything, the Bolyar seems to be getting angrier at me as the hours go by.

My charm is not working. Unfortunately, my looks are not exactly on my side right now.

The huge mirror over the vanity across from the bed reminds me of that every time I accidentally look up.

I wish I had my hair gel, at least, but I decide against saying that out loud.

The Bolyar reminds me daily that I’m not trustworthy, and it’s two days of wallowing alone in a room, locked from the outside, without a phone or TV that works, before I finally get the courage to ask if I can see Liza.

He says no, of course, and I’m treated to his gun in my face just for asking. But I see the tiny speck of humanity in his eye and pray that she’s been asking for me, too.

I’m still shocked when the door opens with a dinner plate, the Bolyar, and Liza standing at his side. She’s still talking, stating her case, although she’s already won the right to see me that she was clearly begging for. “And… I don’t think I should need your permission.”

The Bolyar’s nostrils flare, and his face gets redder than the accent wall in his grand hall. He ignores the statement and simply says, “There are guards watching. You have five minutes. Don’t test me on that.”

“Sorry, he’s a little… overprotective,” Liza says awkwardly as he closes the door behind him.

I look down at the bedspread with my next admittance. “I can’t fault him for trying to protect you, Liza.”

She looks suddenly like she’s about to cry. “Did you know from the start, like he says?”

I gulp and hang my head. “My father had these plans for months and didn’t include me on many of them, especially with Edoardo. But… I knew some of it. I was trying to keep you safe. And I swear, I never agreed to marrying his daughter. My father made that up.”

There it is—a tear falls from her eye. “But you knew he was involved. You knew he was involved with whoever wanted to hurt me.”

I sigh. “That’s an oversimplification…”

“No, you did,” she insists. “You just said you were trying to protect me. You know how you could have protected me, Derrick? By telling me . By confiding in me!” She gives a ragged breath out. “But instead you chose to be a willing pawn. You let him use you in his greedy fucking game.”

I know I’ll never be able to explain away the reasons why I did it the way I did, trying to find a good solution for everyone and failing. But I try anyway. “Would you be able to kill your father?”

She scoffs, and I hold up a hand to stop her from speaking.

“No, of course not. I know that. Well, that’s what it was always going to take, Liza.

It was either him dead, or me trying to find a better outcome for everyone.

” I look up at her, as miserable as I’ve ever been—more emotion that I’ve ever shown a soul in my entire life.

“I killed him for you, Liza. There may have been other circumstances leading up to it, but in the end, the only reason in my head… was you. I killed him because I wanted you. But even if I can’t have you, I wanted you to be safe.

And with him alive, I knew you wouldn’t be. ”

Her face turns down and her lip wobbles, but she doesn’t cry. She finally approaches the bed and sits on the edge cautiously. “I might be an idiot for believing that… but I do. However, my father? He doesn’t. He wants to kill you very, very badly.”

I look up at her and test out a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Well, it’s a good sign that you like me enough not to want me dead.”

She sniffles before letting another tear fall. “I like you more than that, you idiot. And you know it. I don’t know if that’ll be enough, though. You just have to tell them everything. And be honest.”

My head snaps up at an opening to explain myself. “I never knew… not until just a week ago, that he was in on that. And it's why I had to stop seeing you.”

She hisses out of her teeth and points around the room. “There are cameras all around us. Maybe you shouldn’t be… quite that honest.”

I scooch closer to her and put my hand over hers tentatively.

“You just told me to tell them everything as honestly as possible. And I plan to, whether it means I get to have you or not. So here’s the truth: My father plotted against you and he used me to put you in a terrible position.

As soon as I suspected it, I stopped coming to you, except in secret.

Once I knew for sure, I knew he had to die.

I did what I had to do, and I’d do it again. ”

She looks at our intertwined hands on top of the coverlet of the small bed. “Like I said, I believe you. But I just don’t know what’s going to happen now.

I can’t help but feel a small spark of hope, wondering if my charm can win her back one more time, knowing I’ll never move on if it doesn’t.

For the first time, I’m brimming with a sincerity I never felt comfortable wielding.

There is no sarcasm, no hint of a joke, and I have to pray that she can feel the difference.

I’m finally free to tell her exactly how I feel for perhaps the first time in our short history.

She squeezes my hand. “Show them, Derrick. Show us the truth. Well… as much as my father allows it.” She peeks in exasperation at a place in the room where I’m guessing there must be a hidden camera. I don’t even take note of its location.

“I will. I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

She looks back at me, still with tears in her eyes, but half of a hopeful smile, as well. Then, she leans over and kisses me. Although I’m certain that her father is about to come in here and kill me, I’ll die a happy man