Page 33 of Unwritten Vows
Derrick
I spend the entire night thinking of everything I said and did while I was with Liza.
The fact is, I have a lot of experience breaking up with girls, but no experience breaking up with girls I actually care about.
I couldn’t even do it over the phone, like my brain screamed at me to.
Liza deserved the information face to face.
It would probably have been easier to just act like that snarky dick that broke up with all those women in the past. But whatever it takes to do that with Liza, I don’t have it.
I mope around for over a week, trying to limit my texts to Liza back and forth, while my father soothes her father’s worries about why I haven’t come to his house.
I’m shocked she hasn’t spoken to him about our conversation.
It’s probably just a matter of time, and my father will be pissed when she does, but I’m sure it’ll take just a few more days of this torture for her to crack and tell him that I’ve snubbed her.
As I’m trying to think of a way into appeasing my father while still maintaining my relationship with Liza, my father comes to my apartment, only announcing himself when he gets to my door.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I ask in a monotone.
“That is how you greet me, after I take the long trek out here?”
My apartment is in Newport, while he lives in Providence, of course. Everything within Rhode Island is about 20 minutes, but he still finds reason to complain.
I just blink at him. “What can I do for you?” I ask, with even less enthusiasm than I had before.
“You need to make a move. If you don’t trust Edoardo enough to date his daughter, I will give you time to consider that. But we need someone new in the interim.”
I roll my eyes behind closed lids so he won’t see me, but don’t hide my unenthusiastic expression. This shit is getting really old, really fast. I’ve dated so many billionaires’ daughters I’m starting to wonder if there are any left. So I mention that.
“Well, yes, I had considered that. So why not recycle? Mara Whitney has just popped back up again after a couple of weeks on hiatus. Word is that she didn’t like the rehab Daddy had her at and she flew the coop. She’s staying with her friend now. I’m sure Maxim wouldn’t be opposed.”
I hate this. I truly, truly hate this. But I just don’t seem to have the will or energy to fight back. It’s all futile anyway. So I simply shrug. “Whatever.”
“I don’t have a lot of patience today. Yes or no?”
I shrug without meeting his eye. “Do I have a choice? Obviously it’s a yes.”
He studies me for a moment, and then says something that shocks me. “I am confused Derrick. Did you care for the Andreeva girl?”
I can’t let my father get even a whiff of my feelings for Liza, but perhaps now is as good a time as any to try and get him to see reason.
I turn my lip up into a sneer and scoff at his words.
“I’m incapable of caring for someone else, father.
I’m just really good at pretending I can.
” I shake my head. “The Bolyar fell for it first, and now you’re even falling for it.
The truth is that I just want to finish this indecision.
It feels like a weakness. We already have a great offer from the Bolyar.
One day I’ll be his replacement and we’ll have all of his land, instead of whatever scraps Edoardo chooses to give us. ”
I can tell my father is happy to hear this, and he nods at me.
“You make a compelling point, but he’s my age, and you know nothing about running an empire on your own.
I should be in charge first. But consideration is smart, not weak, which is why I’m still weighing our options.
And it is why you’re going to do what I ask. ”
*****
I don’t waste any time—I know I need to just get this over with, consequences be damned. I head over to where my ex is staying at her friend’s house the next day.
To be honest, despite what I said to my father, my relationship with Mara was one of the better ones I’ve been in.
We both knew from the start it was a set up and that it was temporary.
We need to stay in the papers, and she didn’t give a shit if I messed around with other women.
She catapulted my name to infamy every time she made a dig at me on her social media, and our feuds are legendary.
We didn’t like each other that much, but we certainly didn’t hate each other like we made it seem to the papers.
When she laughs at me after I propose another short fling, I’m relieved. She must see something in my expression when she mentions the plans Liza and I had to be engaged, because she looks at me with something very close to pity and says, “Fuck them, Derrick. Do what you want to do.”
As I leave, I get interrogated by a huge man who is clearly infatuated with Mara, and I immediately understand why she said no to dating me again.
It puts a bad taste in my mouth. I’m not jealous because of Mara or anything, I’m just jealous that she has the person protecting her so close.
I’m jealous of the confidence he has not to hurt her more than he probably has already.
Clearly they’re not on speaking terms, so he’s obviously done something wrong if he wants her and she’s rolling her eyes back at him.
I have to keep myself in the limelight anyway, so I use it as fodder for my next TikTok post. I completely tear apart that meathead.
I frame him as some big dumb moron chasing around the oblivious rich girl without the ability to love anything but money.
In the end, I’m honestly quite proud of myself.
I’ve never had to answer to anyone about my posts, but I get a text that night which makes my entire stomach drop out.
I’m not a fan of your latest TikTok post, Derrick. And it doesn’t sound good for you, either. It makes you look like a jealous little boy.
I felt like I had some pretty decent hits in there, so I find this characterization to be undeserved.
You know, I could have said a lot worse. That guy wanted to knock my head off my body. He was a complete asshole. Probably roid raging.
I can almost feel Liza’s exasperated sigh in her next text.
It’s super unattractive. And since it’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I’m almost forgetting how attractive you really are.
It’s only been less than a week since I last saw her, and I never asked her to wait for me. She doesn’t understand.
I told you I would have to do this, Liza. I didn’t tell you to like it. I didn’t even tell you to tolerate it. Most people give up on lost causes. Might be a good idea for you to do the same.
I don’t get a text back, and I don’t expect to. I don’t want her to give up on me, but I know I need to loosen my grip on her. If she doesn’t feel good about what I’ve just done, she’s going to be feeling a lot worse when I have to do it all over again.
*****
Days go by without any texts from Liza. I start counting days by how long it’s been since I’ve spoken to her.
I can’t help myself and I text her another follow up—something about her being the only person who knows the real me or some shit like that, but she ignores it.
I’m losing hope that she really will hold out for me, but I can’t expect her to do that anyway.
I told her not to, and I shouldn’t even want her to.
But after a lifetime of getting everything a person would want and wanting none of it, I just wish I had something I actually want for a change.
Days after Mara turns me down, my father brings up Edoardo’s daughter again.
“I met with him. He’s close to a proposition for us, but he’s confused about why you won’t agree to meet his daughter. And to be honest, so am I. You don’t have to trust him to agree to marry her. And she’s quite alluring.”
My father shows me a picture of a cute strawberry blond, but all I see is Liza in my head. And I’m also quite disgusted by the fact that my 56-year-old father called the 20-year-old woman he wants his son to date against his will “alluring.” She looks like she’s sixteen.
I know the alliance I’ve always had with my father has never approached a feeling of actual love, but I never thought I could hate him.
I’m starting to now. I’m starting to hate everything in this life.
It was fun before, like a game. Now, every time I think of Liza hating me, I want to burn it all to the fucking ground.
And just like that, I decide that I have to see her again, and soon.