Page 17

Tina

I ’ve never claimed to be sporty. The extent of my exercising these days is helping Gramps get ready for bed. Dustin showing me “the ropes” was unexpected and oddly pleasurable. Any self-consciousness I had over my body in this revealing outfit went out the window the second he put his hands on me. Holy moly, everywhere he touched is still on fire. I’m surprised my skin isn’t melting.

While our one-on-one was nice, watching Dustin and Lucius in their element is exquisite. It’s clear for even a novice like me Dustin is a natural. Except for the shorts hanging precariously from his lean hips, all his flexing muscles are on full display. I find myself rooting for gravity to be the victor in this bout. My heart rate hasn’t been this elevated since… last night, when Dustin and I were the meat in a bed sandwich. I fan my face. “Is the air conditioning not working in this place?”

Rosa follows my line of sight and chuckles. “I do not think it is the room bothering you.”

The slap of fists and flesh echo in the large space. I squeeze my thighs together, officially a fan. As a matter of fact, this may be my favorite thing in the whole world now.

Lucius delivers a nasty jab, knocking Dustin’s head to the side. I gulp down some water, hoping to cool down some. Newsflash: It doesn’t help. At this rate, it’s going to be days before I can breathe normally again.

I gasp when Lucius gets Dustin in a headlock and drops to the ground. The weirdos are cursing and laughing as their landing bounces. I take a step in their direction, expecting to find broken bones, when Rosa puts a hand on my arm. “Let them,” she says. “They both need to blow off some steam.”

I gape at her. “Blow off steam? They look like they’re going to murder each other.”

“Eh, this is nothing. You should see my brother and Tucker fight with Dustin.” She shakes her head and leads me towards the locker rooms. “Talk about brutal.”

I feel a prickle between my shoulder blades and glance back at the ring. Dustin’s attention is on us as we disappear down the hallway. Rosa flicks on a light in the locker room, revealing a few cul-de-sacs of lockers and the large square ottomans in the middle of each one.

Rosa gestures to an open doorway. “The showers are back there. I’ll wait for you here.”

When I get to the end, it opens into a large area with multiple shower stalls. After grabbing a towel from the shelf, I begin peeling my workout clothes off. I rinse the tacky sweat from my body, careful to keep my hair dry.

With my hands occupied by the mundane task, my mind jumps back to this morning when Dustin was in the shower. I stood frozen for a moment, listening as the water turned on, picturing him bare, stepping under the spray. I could hear the change in the water pressure as it hit his hard body, the splash of his efficient hands as they soaped the ridges and plans. Did he think of me as he washed? His hands sure seemed to know their way around my body like he’d mapped my curves in his mind before. Can he imagine me with clarity like I can him? I’m beginning to doubt I’ll ever see anything else when I close mine from now on.

I’m back in the clothes I wore to work, eyeing my uncomfortable shoes with a level of dread I’ve never had for footwear before, when Rosa sits next to me on the bench. She sticks her foot out, showing me her high heels, and laughs. “Want to wear these instead?”

“Not even if you paid me.” I slip my protesting feet into my shoes, wishing they were fluffy slippers.

There’s a knock on the door followed by Lucius shouting. “It’s time to go, ladies.”

Rosa rolls her eyes but dutifully stands. “Let’s get this dinner over with. I hope you’re down for drinks in our room later.” She eyes me over her shoulder with her hand on the doorknob. “After this, I’ll need it.”

“I’m right there with you.” Looking back on this moment, I’ll remember this as the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

The restaurant Lucius takes us to is dark with soft moody music. It’s a nice change from the flashy brightness of the rest of the City that Never Sleeps. He exchanges words and a handshake with a well-dressed man before moving us further into the space. A large square bar with racks of booze reaching the ceiling takes center stage. One of them lowers, allowing a bartender to reach a bottle, and Rosa bounces on her toes like a kid at Christmas. Something tells me she won’t wait for later for drinks.

“Come.” With one of his hands on her spine, Lucius steers Rosa away. “You need to eat first.”

“Yes, sir.” She makes a face over her shoulder, for my eyes only, and misses the way Lucius stares at her like what he wants isn’t on the restaurant menu.

Dustin leans close, his warm breath caressing my ear and a smile in his voice. “I gave up trying to figure them out a long time ago.” It’s not easy to hold back the shiver at his nearness. All I can think about is how his hands were all over me earlier and how much I want that again.

When I don’t seem to move fast enough for him, he grips my elbow, guiding me to our table. I miss a step and he chuckles. “Still finding your sea legs after I worked you over?”

Feeling kind of sassy, I make sure he witnesses me checking him out before answering. “Nothing a thick, juicy piece of meat can’t fix.” His jaw drops and his grip loosens, allowing me to slip away to follow the others to our table.

From my position in our booth, I have a front-row seat to the date happening at the table next to ours. I envy them. The woman nervously plays with her hair while the man answers her questions, volleying back some of his own.

I’ve never been on a date as an adult. The realization is humbling. Most women have multiple dates under their belts by the time they are my age. I never had the flutter of butterflies in my stomach waiting for my date to arrive. Or the awkward uncertainty if there’d be a kiss at the end of the night. Nor have I had to wonder if there would be a second date.

I’d thought there was plenty of time for dates with Connor once we graduated from high school. If I’ve learned one thing in my short lifetime, it’s none of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Or take, for that matter . I fight off the melancholy and set my glass down without taking another sip. Wine always makes me too weepy.

Sometimes, it feels like a big chunk of my life is missing. I’m young and decent-looking and I should be grabbing the bull by the horns, as Gramps would say. But instead, it’s as if I stepped into some spinster’s comfortable shoes. Maybe Gramps is right. There are enough hours in the day to worry about the bills and responsibilities. Why not let some of this trip be about me?

With this in mind, I begin enjoying my meal with gusto. Each bite of steak melts like butter on my tongue. After the fourth bite, I become aware our table has gone quiet. I open my eyes to find my companions staring at me with varying degrees of shock.

“I should’ve ordered the steak,” Rosa says, taking a big gulp of her wine.

Swallowing, I glance at Dustin. His gaze is locked on my mouth. I stab a piece of meat with the tines of my fork and hold the offering towards him, using his own words to tease him. “You look hungry. Want a bite?”

He shakes his head. “I’d rather watch you eat it.”

Suddenly the little candle on the table feels like a roaring fire. Dustin’s eyes darken and I clench my thighs together. I clear my throat. “I think I’ll head to the bar.” I set my fork down on my plate and shoot a pleading look at Rosa. “Want to join me?”

“What’s up with you and Dustin?” Rosa asks on our way to the bar.

“Not sure,” I admit. Hopefully, a few drinks will help me figure it out.

“It was hot,” she says, nudging my shoulder.

I nod because words still fail me. The crowd at the bar parts, revealing two empty barstools. I’m so focused on snagging the available seats, it takes me a second to notice Cliff is one of the bartenders. He’s changed into jeans and a polo shirt, showing off his nice arms. He’s handsome in an all-American kind of way, with his blue eyes and tan skin. He looks like Connor; I realize with a twinge in my gut. Is that why I was drawn to him, because he seemed familiar, or was it because of the obvious annoyance oozing from Dustin?

Cliff heads our way, a big smile on his face, his focus solely on me, and Rosa laughs. “They’re dropping like flies around you.”

“Hey,” he says, tapping the bar top. “Tina, right?”

“You work here too?” I cringe inwardly. Dumb. Of course he works here. God, I’m so out of practice at even normal social skills.

Instead of him laughing at me, his smile is sweet. “I do.” He leans forward to be heard better. “What can I get you ladies?” He includes Rosa but his eyes are still on me. It’s a boost to the ego when a man looks at you with interest.

Rosa wastes no time ordering for us both. While Cliff gets busy filling our orders, I take in the rest of the bar area. The other bartenders move around each other in a practiced dance, reaching over heads and across torsos too fast to follow. The music switches to something livelier, and people’s conversation rises to combat it.

Cliff places two blue drinks in front of us, drawing my attention away from my people-watching. His smile is lopsided and kind of adorable. “Maybe you being here is a sign,” he says.

“Oh, yeah?” I sip my drink, trying to seem cool. It’s sweet with a hit of gin at the end.

“I wanted to ask for your number back at the gym but chickened out.” He runs a hand through his hair. The nervous move relaxes me a little. “Maybe we could go to dinner before you head back home?”

I note there are no butterflies and no fireworks, but maybe those things are myths anyway. Or maybe they’ll come in time. He’s nice and knows my name, which is more than I can say for some people around here. I write my number on a napkin and slide it toward him. “I’d like that.”

Ten minutes later, we’re working on our second drink. Cliff never made it back to our side of the bar after I gave him my number. I try not to overthink the fact I’m not more disappointed, chalking up my lack of giddiness to this queasiness brewing in my gut. It seems my body isn’t used to all this gluttony. I push my drink away, telling Rosa I’ll be right back. When I stand the room spins.

Rosa reaches for my elbow. “Whoa.” She studies my face. “You good?”

“I don’t feel so hot,” I admit, shaking my head to try to clear my vision.

“Okay, let’s go splash some cold water on your cute face.”

Nausea rolls, but I hear myself ask, “You think I’m cute?”

Smiling, she shakes her head at me then barks at people to get out of our way.

Each step feels like trudging through wet sand. Putting one foot in front of the other becomes my sole focus. From behind me, Rosa calls out, her voice fading like an echo in a tunnel. The bodies between me and the ladies room begin to bottleneck. I’m bumped and spun around until I don’t know what’s left or right anymore. Someone grabs my arm and a firm pressure at the small of my back begins guiding me along. I’m so relieved to have help, I don’t protest. Somewhere in the back of my muddled brain I know this is not good, but I follow along like the docile little mouse Dustin accuses me of being.

We emerge into an alleyway and, the instant the smell of trash and piss hit me in the face, I gag. “Oh, God…”

The person behind me—a man, I realize—curses and steps away. Without the support, I fall to my knees and the contents of my stomach splash to the concrete in violent heaves. There’s more shouting from the alley’s opening and I get the impression of a bull charging them before all hell breaks loose. I whimper and purge while a small war seems to rage around me. I know I’m seriously fucked up when all I can think is, What a waste of a twenty-five-dollar steak.

“Tina!” Rosa drops to the ground beside me. Her gentle hands gather my hair, holding it away from the mess on the ground.

“Rosa?”

A cool touch to my forehead. “I’m here.”

“Where did all the men go?”

There’s a pause. “What men?”

Frowning, I scan the alley, but there’s no one around.

She pulls me to my feet, and I stagger. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”