Page 9

Rain

T he past couple of nights have been rough. I don’t usually have nightmares—at least not anymore—but the way I stood up to River when he saw me with Xander left me restless, jittery.

It brought back memories from high school.

With Dennis.

“Ugh, Rain MacAllister. Stop. You’re going to have a great time today with Xander. No need to think about the past,” I mutter aloud.

Sometimes it helps to call myself out on my bullshit.

“Oh, hey, Chef. I wasn’t expecting to see you here today,” Blair says as she enters the kitchen.

I jump. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“I’m sorry, Chef.”

We both chuckle as she comes closer, a frown creasing her forehead.

“What?” I ask, pretending that making food for a picnic basket is the most normal thing in the world.

“Well, you usually don’t come over on weekends,” she says, pulling on her sous-chef coat.

“True,” I reply without missing a beat. “I’m going on a hike and decided to pack a few essentials. It’s easier to prep everything here than in the van.”

“Oh, a hike. That sounds fun. Where are you going this time?” she asks as the rest of the team starts trickling in.

“Not sure yet. I’ll let the adventure decide where to take me. I’ll see you all on Monday. Call me if you need anything,” I say, hurrying out the door.

“Hey,” River says, getting out of his truck.

Oh gosh, I don’t want to do this right now.

“Hey,” I reply, not slowing my stride.

“Can we please talk?”

There’s a hint of weariness in his voice, and it makes me pause.

I take a few deep breaths, rolling my shoulders to brace for the uncomfortable conversation we need to have .

“Sure. Let me get this in the van. Do you want to come in?”

He follows me to the van. I slide the door open, quickly stash the food in the mini fridge, and sink onto my bed, motioning for River to do the same.

“I’m sorry I was an asshole to you the other night,” he says, a whoosh of air leaving his nose.

“I know you’re twenty-eight. Heck, I know I’m thirty-two. But for some reason, I can’t stop worrying about you all. I know Ruin is safe because Gio would burn the world down for her and the babies.”

We both chuckle. He’s not wrong. I’ve never met someone more in love with his wife than my brother-in-law. He worships the ground Ruin walks on.

“Miles is a tough guy,” he continues, “even though he can come off as goofy sometimes. And Merlin is in Raleigh, so even though I’d like to keep an eye on him, he’s far away.”

He pauses, playing with a loose thread on his jeans.

“So that leaves me,” I say gently, encouraging him to keep talking.

“Yeah,” he says, releasing a deep breath and covering his face. “And Granny and Mom.”

“So basically you’re worried about the women in the family—except Ruin.”

He nods. “But at least they’re under the same roof. With you, I’m constantly worrying that something is going to happen.”

Emotion flickers in his eyes, and a pang of guilt punches me straight in the gut.

“I’m sorry you had to see that back then,” I whisper, reaching out and grabbing his hand.

He squeezes it tight—so tight, it almost hurts. But I don’t let go.

“No. Never be sorry about that,” he says, his voice thick, tears running freely down his cheeks and disappearing into his mountain man beard. “I’m glad I could do something… even if I couldn’t protect you.”

The raw ache in his voice guts me.

I reach up with my free hand, my fingers trembling, and rest my forehead gently against his.

“I’m sorry you have to worry extra about me,” I say, my voice splintering into pieces as the tears break free, sliding down my face.

River shakes his head, breathing hard through his nose like he’s fighting every feeling threatening to drown him.

“It’s not your fault,” he says, barely getting the words out. “We live in a world full of entitled monsters who think they can take what they want… even when a woman says no,”

His voice cracks—and so do I.

I start crying harder, the sound escaping me in broken gasps.

A rush of memories from that horrible night crashes into me.

The fear .

The helplessness.

The shame I never asked for but still carry like a second skin.

I press my forehead harder against River’s desperate for something solid in this moment, something safe.

“I wish I could go back in time and beat that motherfucker senseless before he had a chance to hurt you,” he says, his voice low and shaking with a rage so raw it shatters my heart.

I pull back just enough to see the pain carved into his face.

I always knew I was carrying the weight from that night.

I just didn’t realize River was too.

“No,” I hurry to say, grabbing his hand tighter. “You would have gone to prison. And I couldn’t have lived with that.”

For a moment, neither of us says anything. We just breathe, the air thick between us, heavy with all the things we couldn’t stop and take back.

My sensitive, empathetic brother is carrying the world on his shoulders and doesn’t know how to stop.

“I need you to promise me,” I whisper, my voice still raw, “that you’ll take care of yourself, River. You’re always worrying about everyone else… but who’s taking care of you?”

He shakes his head, breaking our contact, pulling his hands away like he’s afraid he might shatter.

“Yes, River. You must.”

I sit up straighter, shifting onto my knees so I’m eye-level with him again. I wipe my tear-streaked face with my shirt and force myself to breathe steadily .

“As you said, Ruin, Miles, and Merlin are okay. You have Granny and Mama close by. And me…”

I press my palm to my chest. “I can defend myself now.”

He starts to protest, but I cut him off, my voice gentle.

“What’s the point of giving me a knife and teaching me how to use it? You have to trust me.”

A soft, broken chuckle escapes me. I bump my fist lightly against his shoulder.

And finally—a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, tentative but real.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll try,” he says, voice rough but lighter now. Like maybe, just maybe, he’s starting to believe it.

He stands, slow and heavy, like the conversation has worn him out.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful. And if you’re ever in a situation where you don’t feel safe, call me.”

He looks at me with those gray eyes, so much like mine, still bloodshot and weary from crying.

My heart aches for him, but I’m not going to call him.

He needs to focus on himself now.

“Deal,” I say, forcing a soft smile as I squeeze his hand one last time.

He nods once before stepping out of the van.

The door clicks shut.

And just like that, the heaviness swells in my chest again.

Wow.

Talk about an emotional conversation before a hike.

I lean back, breathing deep, trying to shake the lingering weight from my body.

I press my palms against my cheeks, grounding myself before I glance around and make sure everything is packed up and secure.

Then I hop into the driver’s seat, heart still pounding but lighter now.

It’s time to pick up Hotshot.

“Hello?” I call out as I enter the lobby of Serene Lookout.

I know the other patients left yesterday, and no one works here on weekends except those who prepare meals. I don’t know which room is Xander’s, and I don’t feel like knocking on every door.

I hear footsteps on the second floor, and my heart kicks up a notch.

Really, girl? Chill.

“Hey there,” he says, appearing at the top of the stairs—and oh my, I might get palpitations just from looking at him.

He’s wearing black shorts and a white T-shirt sporting the Carolina Red Wolves logo. His hair, still damp from a shower, curls slightly at the ends. The black hat he wore the other day is back, but this time the bill faces forward.

He looks good enough to eat.

“Ready for our hike?” I ask as he reaches the last step.

Before I can say anything else, he pulls me into a hug, and all the air rushes out of my lungs. I didn’t even realize I was still holding my breath. I need to stop living in the past and focus on right now.

I melt into him, breathing in the clean scent of his shirt, laced with a familiar hint of pinewood from the other day.

It’s wild how someone I’ve just met can make me feel this much at peace.

“Hey, are you okay?” he murmurs, tightening his arms around me.

I nod, sinking into his embrace. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just had a conversation with River,” I say, keeping it vague. I’m not sure he wants to hear all my emotional baggage.

“Everything good between you two now?” he asks gently.

Instead of brushing it off with my usual, Of course everything is fine , I find myself telling the truth. “Yeah, we’re good now. It was a good talk.”

He tilts his head and presses a kiss to the top of mine.

It’s such a small, innocent gesture, but it sends goosebumps skittering across my skin.

No one—not outside my family, anyway—has ever made me feel this seen, this understood.

And that thought alone is terrifying.

“Alright, let’s get moving,” I say, pulling away from our embrace, sliding the armor back over my heart.

I can’t afford to fall for a guy who’s only here for a few weeks. And who says he’s even interested in me like that?

He could have any woman he wants in Raleigh. Why would he go for a small-town chef?

No, he’s just being polite.

Xander clears his throat as he falls in step beside me. “So, where are we going? Should we get water bottles from the kitchen?” he asks, thumbing toward the doorway.

“No need. I packed some essentials.”

He nods and trails after me toward the driver’s door. I glance at him, confused, and lift an eyebrow.

With a chuckle, he says, “I’m just trying to be a gentleman. Please, let me open the door for you.”

I roll my eyes, even though I secretly find it adorable.

“Don’t go all gentlemanly on me, Hotshot. I don’t want to get used to it—and then you have to go back to Raleigh,” I tease, grabbing his hand instead of the door handle to hop into the van.

“Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve, Rain,” he says as I sit down, looking me straight in the eyes. “You deserve this and more. You deserve everything.”

He gives my hand a quick squeeze, then jogs around to the passenger side.

Phew. This guy’s got game.

I crank the AC to full blast and glance over at him.

“Since you’re the copilot, you have to choose the music,” I say, tossing him the cable so he can connect his phone .

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he says, taking out his phone and plugging it in.

A few taps later, “Cherry Pie” by Warrant fills the speakers, and he starts nodding to the beat.

“Nice choice. I wasn’t sure what kind of music you liked,” I say, pulling away from Serene Lookout.

“I listen to a little bit of everything. You might catch me nodding to a rock song, and the next minute I’m belting out Teddy Swims at the top of my lungs,” he says, a hint of pride in his voice.

“Awesome. We can check how good of a singer you are at karaoke sometime. My siblings and I try to go every week,” I say, shooting him a grin.

“Count me in. I’m assuming you sing too?” he asks, adjusting the bill of his hat.

“No. Ruin is the singer in the family. I play the drums, though.”

He lets out a mock screech and clutches his chest like he’s having a heart attack.

“You’re not only beautiful but also smart, talented, and you play the drums? I think I’m in love.”

I shake my head, failing miserably at hiding the smile that breaks across my lips.

He's way too dramatic. And I’m enjoying every second of it .

“How do you know I’m smart and talented? We just met,” I say with a shrug as I take the exit for the national forest we’re visiting today.

“Well, you can carry on a conversation. You have a job. And yes, before you interrupt me, it’s a family business. But if you weren’t smart and talented, the diner wouldn’t be as successful as it is.”

I raise an eyebrow and nod slowly.

“It seems like you’ve been stalking me,” I tease, keeping my eyes on the road and biting the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing.

I know I’m taunting him, but I love the playful back-and-forth between us.

“I like reading about things that interest me,” he says, his voice low and serious.

I swallow hard instead of keeping up the banter.

Is he really into me?

“You’re funny,” I say, shaking my head.

“And you are extraordinary,” he says.

Our eyes lock, and for a heartbeat, I see something flicker in his dark brown gaze—something that looks like curiosity and hope.

“We’re here,” I say quickly, breaking eye contact as I pull into the parking area and turn off the engine.

Real smooth, Rain.

You better stay on your best game with this guy. Otherwise, I fear he’s going to find a way to your heart.