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Chapter Seventeen

EDEN

“I can’t read another word of this,” I sigh, shoving the boater’s handbook to the side of the bed as I push myself to my feet and pace back and forth, up and down the boat.

I have a call to make, and I can’t avoid it any longer.

Murph and I texted for hours yesterday evening, planning the boat party while I prepped hors d’oeuvres. I know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And now that I’ve found a guy who’s willing to let me in when I get there… I’m willing to tie my boat to his.

And not just metaphorically. It was my idea to tie up his barge to my boat. That way we’ll have a mega party boat: space to spread out, a kitchen… and most important of all, a working bathroom.

I don’t even want to imagine how the guys usually cope, but I’d sooner give up hot showers. And I can say that from personal experience.

He keeps trying to reassure me that I don’t have to go over-the-top, but it’s way too late. I’m too excited not to show off what I learned from George’s stupid parties. It used to be hard enough to cope with George in his high-stress mode, let alone our guests.

God, I’m glad not to have that problem anymore. It’s just so easy to be around Murph. He’s easy to like, easy to talk to, easy to have fun with. I just… I trust him. I didn’t think that was possible before. And with hardly even a word said… in a thousand little ways, he makes me feel like I’m easy to love.

And there’s no bigger sign than this: inviting me to meet his brothers, even letting me co-host the party, for what sounds like one of the most important events of the year for all of them. I know what I’m being given—and I’m taking this opportunity with both hands.

Murph just believes in me. And that makes it a little easier to remember that I’m worth it—and remember that he’s not the only one.

There are other people out there who believed in me, throughout all these years. Even when I doubted myself. Even when that made me start to doubt them, too.

I’ve waited long enough. Murph is right.

It’s time to tell my parents about me and George—tell them I woke up, smelled the pile of shit, and ran for the hills. There’s no better time than now. Things are changing so fast that if I don’t keep them in the loop… well, I’m scared that I might leave them behind, too.

“Let’s do this,” I breathe out, ducking onto the bow and sinking onto the bench there. I hit Dial and wait, a smile touching my lips despite my nervousness. And a few seconds later, my mom’s voice floats through the line.

“Eden! Hi, darling. It’s so good to hear from you.”

Everything suddenly feels so much better.

My smile grows so much bigger. “Hi, Mom. I’m sorry it took so long to call. Things have been… pretty wild.”

“Yeah? Wild in… a good way?” Mom hesitates, like she doesn’t want to ask, but she can’t help herself. “You sound good, honey.”

“I am. And you’ll never guess why.”

It doesn’t take me long to update her on the breakup situation. Despite trying my best to wrap it in Mom-friendly language, most of it is covered by one sentence. “So… I dumped him, drunk-bid on a houseboat, and now I live in Nanaimo Harbour.”

There’s a long pause.

“Uh—it’s different. But it’s great. I like it.”

I hear a rush of breath, like Mom is sitting down hard. “Eden! Oh, sweetheart,” she finally groans. “Dad can drive there tomorrow, he’ll take the ferry over. You can move in with us, like we’ve always said?—”

“No, Mom,” I interrupt her as gently as I can, smiling across the harbour as I watch the seals slowly spinning around. “Thank you, but no. I have to do this my way.”

She sighs. “Are you sure? A… a houseboat?”

“I’m sure. Even if it’s on a houseboat,” I laugh. “It has to be my way. Not your way, or George’s way, or anyone else’s. Not because I don’t love you, but because…” I trail off, my brain spinning.

I spent a long time not loving myself. I only see that now that Murph treats me the way he does—like he loves every part of me, even the part of me that can’t help poking at him to try to get a reaction.

“Because I don’t know who I am otherwise.” I shake my head slowly. “And that’s scary. I can’t help thinking, if he’d proposed to me a little bit earlier… I might have never found out.”

“Oh, honey,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry about the breakup.”

I can hear it in her voice, and I smile wryly. “But?”

She hesitates, but then she can’t help but give in. “I’m so glad,” she exclaims, making me laugh. “No, but… he was never good enough for you, darling. And we’re so proud of you. But—are you sure you want to do this alone? On a boat…? Have you even been on a boat?”

I laugh. “Believe me, the locals feel the same. But they’re real nice here. I’m settling in. And the sea air is good for me. It’s like in your Victorian romance novels, when they go to the seaside to recover from a broken heart—” I break off, clearing my throat hastily. “Not that he broke my heart. It was for the best.”

Mom just hums. “Mmhmm. But it’s okay if you’re heartbroken for a little while, Eden.”

“Is it?”

“You were crazy about him at first. Even if those feelings changed, you’re bound to remember the early days more than the ones that came afterward. It might hurt for a bit.”

It hurts to hear, but it actually makes a whole lot of sense. I suck in a breath though my teeth. “Yeah. I’m glad things ended, though,” I murmur. “Really glad. I don’t look back that way, you know?”

“Mmhmm. That’s a good sign.”

“It really is.” I clear my throat, sighing as I lean back to stare up at the sky. “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

“You know we’ll always wait til you’re ready to talk,” Mom says. “And when someone like you doesn’t do a lot of talking… we know things are bad.”

I groan, and we both laugh. “Yeah. But I’m finding my footing again. This place… I don’t know. There’s something about it. I think I can stay here for a while. I’m finally by the ocean. No, on the ocean. Can you believe it? Me?”

“I’m going to try not to,” Mom groans, and we both laugh. “But if that’s where your heart tells you to be, then that’s the right thing to do.”

I hesitate. “Is it? I mean, my heart led me to George.”

There it is, the question I’ve been too afraid to even let into my thoughts: How do I know I’m not just doing it all over again with Murph?

Mom hums again in that noncommittal mom way. “I think your heart knew, somewhere deep down. Whenever you talked about him, you sounded like you were talking about one of your paintings—something in progress, not done yet.”

“Isn’t that what relationships are supposed to be?”

But I’m already starting to see her point. Murph and I are just starting to get to know each other, and it’s already a league away from how it was to get to know George. God, that was like prying teeth.

Mom just chuckles knowingly. “Yes and no. You have to keep talking, choosing to open up instead of shut down. Keep choosing them. Loving someone is learning to do that. And the right person will make you want to learn.”

“Yeah,” I breathe out softly. “And it feels different, right?”

“Always,” she promises. “The times might be hard together, but loving him—or whoever it is—should be the easy part. You don’t have to make excuses for them, or cut yourself down to fit into the picture frame of their life.”

“Oh,” I murmur softly.

Mom’s talked a lot about love before—and it’s only now that I’m realizing she was trying to make me see something about me and George that I couldn’t back then. But I’ve never heard it said like that before.

“Thanks, Mom,” I finally say. “I’m glad I called.”

“Me too, honey. I love you.” Then, just before I can hang up, she adds, “Tell me about him when you’re ready.”

I freeze and stutter, bringing the phone back to my ear as I blush furiously, and she just laughs. “W-Wait… what? I mean, I just broke up with George. I—I didn’t want you to think…”

“The heart knows what it knows. And so do moms.”

“ How ?”

“For a start, you’re calling me,” she says with a little chuckle. “So I like this one already. What’s his name?”

My cheeks burn. I slap my hand against my forehead. “Yeah. He did tell me to call,” I admit. “Murph. That’s all I’m saying, okay? For now.”

“Mmhmm,” she hums. Then she waits, and I know what she’s doing, but the seconds tick by, one—two—three?—

Damn it, I can’t stop myself. “He’s a barge skipper, and he’s so kind. Strong and silent. The real rugged kind, but his heart is just pure gold.”

“Eden,” Mom breathes out, her voice choked up. “Oh, I’m so glad for you.”

It’s hard not to wax poetic about the way he looks when he’s standing on the deck, stoic and rugged, silently gazing across the ocean. It just feels like jinxing it to do it before we have the conversation about… you know, labels .

“It’s not—we’re not yet—I mean, we’re figuring things out. Don’t let Dad stalk him on Facebook, okay?”

She laughs. “Of course, honey. I just want to meet anyone who reminds you of who you are. We’ve really missed you, sweetie.”

I pause, my lips trembling as I smile. “Yeah. Me too.” I mean to say that I’ve missed them, and I’ve missed myself… but she knows that, of course. “Thanks, Mom. I love you. Tell Dad I love him, too, eh?”

“Of course. I love you too, Eden. Call us again soon.”

“I will,” I promise. “Bye, Mom.”

As I hang up, I press my phone against my forehead for a few seconds, staring at Sunrise Island. I used to call Mom in my early days in Vancouver—before me and George moved in together—and tell her about all my doubts and fears. She always encouraged me to stay there, to keep following my heart until it led me where I needed to go.

It’s the weirdest feeling right now. Instead of calling to tell her about my doubts and fears, hoping for a pep talk about trusting the compass of my heart… I’m calling to tell her that it worked.

I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

As I glance into the boat, my gaze lands on that canvas with its dark red clouds, still turned away and facing the wall.

I wait for the sinking feeling in my stomach, but… it doesn’t come. It’s like I’m not afraid of looking it in the eye, now that it’s too far away to touch me.

“Huh,” I murmur, tilting my head. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

Even in a few short days, I can feel which way the tide is pulling me. My life is moving on now. There will always be another storm ahead… but that just means that a little ways beyond that, there’s another moment where the clouds melt away and the sun comes out yet again.

And I think I’ve found the right man to help me chart a course to the other side. He’s brave enough, there’s no doubt about that. I just hope he knows what he wants—and, more than anything, I hope the answer is me.