Page 16

Chapter Fifteen

MURPH

My eyes fly open to the sight of sunlight streaming through the window, in unfamiliar surroundings. I push myself to sit up before I can even think straight.

The milk run ? —

No, wait. I took the morning off, which is a rare occasion. But I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t be spending the morning at home. And here I am, twisting to glance over my shoulder at?—

Eden snorts, rolls onto his front, and burrows under the pillows. So I grin down at his back, envying the sunlight for the way it caresses his body. I did that last night, I can’t help remembering. And it felt…

Fuck. I don’t know how to describe how it felt. It was like opening a door to a room I had no idea existed inside me, and then finding out that Eden’s already there inside of it.

I need to distract myself before I take my cue from the sun’s rays and start touching him again—because I know where that will lead.

Coffee. I’ll make us both coffee. I slowly ease my way out of bed, sorting out the clothes we tossed aside in haste last night. Once I’m finally dressed, I pad barefoot toward the kitchen.

It’s not hard to figure out which galley outlet is the working one. The fridge is plugged into the bottom socket, and Eden’s put a piece of duct tape over it as if trying to remind himself not to take it out. The top one is free, and all the other appliance cords are lying around in a tangle next to it.

My heart squeezes tightly as I pick out the coffee machine cord and plug it in, then grab the jar of coffee. I know it’s not about me, but I wish he’d let me take care of him a little bit more.

At least, for today, I can make him coffee. I just hope we can talk about his next steps—and soon. If he insists on living aboard, the winter is going to be hard. I’ll need to do a lot of work on his boat, and he’ll need to let me.

It would be easier for us to live together in my big old empty house on the island. But, after what Eden shared last night, I think he’d run away screaming at the suggestion.

I stir two cups of coffee, blowing on mine for a minute before I finally venture a tiny sip.

“Ugh,” I murmur, recoiling for a moment before sighing. I guess it could be worse. “Well, caffeine is caffeine.”

I crouch to check the fridge for oat milk. Hell, maybe I’ll try some myself and see if it helps. I grab the carton, rubbing my chin as I pause to figure out if Eden takes sugar.

There’s a sleepy voice in the doorway. “Two sugars.” There he is—dressed in a big old faded grey T-shirt with white flowers, which hangs down almost past the hem of his tiny little shorts. “Thank you,” Eden adds, covering his mouth as he yawns and stretches.

“Coming right up.”

I kind of expected this to feel awkward, but it’s not. It just feels nice—sleepy and slow and sweet. I drop two sugar cubes in his mug, stirring a little before handing it over, spoon and all.

Eden takes it with a grateful little smile and leans in to kiss my cheek. I turn my head to catch his lips instead, kissing him softly.

“Good morning.”

Eden’s smile grows so big that his eyes crinkle at the corner and his forehead lifts all of a sudden, like his whole face is opening up. “Well, good morning ,” he murmurs playfully. “I guess it wasn’t a good dream after all.”

“I hope it wasn’t a bad one,” I laugh.

Eden grins at me. “Not when I have you here to ward them off.”

My ears almost ring with the mental image of it—wrapping myself around Eden last night, holding him close until he drifted off, finally falling asleep myself to the sound of his deep, even breathing.

It felt perfect.

For a moment we just smile at each other. Then, I nod toward the bathroom door. “I just gotta?—”

“Hold on, I’ll—” Eden breaks off at the same moment I do, halfway through gesturing at the bow doors and the dishes still outside. “We’ll reconvene,” Eden decides. “You go pee while I speedy-tidy, eh?”

“Challenge accepted.”

There’s not much to look at while I’m peeing. Just the weird, dated decor I’ve already inspected, and the baskets full of Eden’s personal grooming things. But I can hear the sounds of scurrying footsteps, like he’s rushing to get everything into the sink.

It’s so cute. In spite of… well, everything about Dawn’s Embrace… he really wants to make things look nice for me. By the time I dry off my hands, Eden’s sitting at the table on the bow, shielding his eyes to look around at the early morning traffic in the harbour.

“Thank you for the coffee,” Eden says as I duck out through the doors and carefully squeeze myself into one of the lawn chairs.

“My pleasure. I’m glad I could provide you with a cup of hot atrocity.”

“Mmm,” he sighs, making a show of sipping his cup. “I need a nice warm atrocity right in my face, please.”

“Like last night?” I rumble at him, raising my eyebrow meaningfully. “I’m glad we both enjoyed that.”

Eden gives a startled little giggle. “Oh, yeah. I mean, it’s not as sexy as a good mailbox?—”

I know what he’s up to, though, and two can play this game. “Are you sure? I think you showed me your mailbox last night too.”

Eden laughs again, louder this time. “I’m rubbing off on you.” He pauses, like he’s passing me the puck and leaving the net wide open.

I shake my head at his expectant look. “Too easy. It’s better when you work for it.”

“Like last night—” Eden muffles his giggle in the coffee mug as I roll my eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. But really, I… I had a really nice time.” He scoots his chair a little closer to the table and rests his hand in the middle of it, like he’s reaching out toward me.

“Me too,” I murmur, turning to him. I rest my hand on top of the tablecloth, right next to his. It’s a little bit rougher than most table linen I know, though, and—I swear there’s a splotch of something pink right on one edge. “Wait. Is this a…?”

Eden snorts sheepishly. “A drop cloth. Yeah. Fancy tableware wasn’t on the must-pack list, weirdly.”

That’s actually really clever, but I see an opportunity. If I’m ever going to plant the seed of him living with me, I think I’ll have to get started soon. “There’s a lot you don’t have on board,” I comment idly, like I’m talking about the weather.

Eden’s answer is lightning-quick. “But I don’t need most of it,” he says, raising his chin a little bit. “Not compared to what I do have.”

I pause and tilt my head, raising my mug to blow on the coffee.

Eden waits as if he’s expecting me to ask—and, more than that, expecting to have to fight me about it. All I do is watch him until something shifts in his face. Eden clears his throat sheepishly. The defensiveness settles, and his shoulders sink again. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I murmur softly. “Everything in your own time.”

Eden nods slowly, thoughtfully, and finally glances away across the harbour. The seconds tick by as he watches the trickle of commuter boats picking up, the floatplane getting ready to take off.

I’m just watching all the expressions flitting across his face. I was telling the truth last night when I said that Eden’s body tells me the story—or enough of it for now.

“My freedom,” he says at last, looking back at me. “That means more to me than hot showers or good coffee.” I nod slowly, keeping my mouth shut to let him talk. “And I—I appreciate where I think you’re headed with this. I really do. But…” he trails off, shrugging softly.

“Mmm. It’s early days.” I could tell already, but now I really know that.

“Really early,” he chuckles in a sheepish rush of breath. “I mean, like… I haven’t figured out how to tell anyone where I’m living, what I’m doing.”

“Does anyone know?”

Eden grimaces in the way he always does when he’s thinking about that guy, his ex. It makes him suddenly shrink in on himself, like a can of soda gone flat. “Only him. He made so much fun of me for it.”

I bristle, grinding my teeth together to keep my retort inside. He doesn’t need to know everything I’d tell his no-good, asshole ex if I had the chance. “Well, he’s a shithead.”

As I’d hoped, Eden snorts at the word, then finally glances back at me. “Yeah,” he agrees with a crooked grin. “A real shithead.”

“And I think you should tell your family about the breakup. If you’re on good terms with them, I mean.” I shrug. “I think the more you say it out loud, the better. And they’ll be happy to know that you’re finally happier.”

“Yeah. You’re right,” Eden nods slowly. “What about you? You only mentioned your sister.”

“My parents moved away a couple of years ago to live with my sister—help out with childcare, you know? But I call them every week.” I smile at him. “I called them yesterday, actually. I told them a bit about you.”

It was sweet, actually. I have no idea what people can hear in my voice, but I’m getting the impression it’s pretty easy to tell what’s going on. I could hear the excitement in their voices as they figured out that Eden wasn’t just another new addition to our brotherhood on Sunrise Island.

I think everyone knows. Even me.

“Oh, god,” Eden mumbles, rubbing his face. “My first impressions are the worst.”

I wink at him. “Not for me, it wasn’t. But, uh, anyway. That actually reminds me.” I swallow nervously. “I’ve been meaning to ask you... I mean, it’s not a big deal—” I cut myself off before I can begin rambling.

Eden sets down his mug of coffee. “Yeah?”

“Hey. Do you want to come to the bathtub race?”

Eden’s brows furrow. “The?—”

“It’s a fun time. Me and my brothers get together on the barge. Pretty much all of them, when they can make it. It’d be nice to finally have a whole day with you… and I’d really like everyone to meet my, uh—” I cut myself off, cheeks flushing, suddenly tongue-tied.

Eden raises his eyebrow and smirks. “Your, uh?” he echoes, his lips twitching.

Fuck. I’ve done it now.

Sweat prickles against my forehead, and under my armpits. The back of my neck itches, and I shift around. I grind my palm against my forehead, trying to swallow the urge to jump into the sea.

“My, uh… well, I wasn’t sure what to call you. New friend doesn’t quite cover it, eh?” I ask him, trying to stay cool.

Eden snorts. “I’ll kill you if you introduce me as your friend . No, worse.” He points at me. “I’ll sink your boat.”

“Uh oh.” My lips twitch into a smile. “I doubt my insurance will cover that. What should I call you, then?”

There’s a long pause, and I gulp as Eden tilts his head and watches me thoughtfully. Oh, god. The more seconds that tick by, the more it feels like an eternity. More than enough time has passed for Eden to laugh and come up with some kind of sassy reply.

That means he’s thinking about it seriously. And I’m pretty sure we’re on the same page about what we’re doing together… but it’s occurring to me now that perhaps we aren’t.

I’ve been in life-or-death situations, and I never sweated bullets like I am right now.

The pit of my stomach drops straight through my feet. Did I come on too strong? Maybe he really does just want something casual after all. I don’t know how to back out of this without admitting that I don’t just want to be a friendly face in his life, or a hot booty call.

I want more than that. I want a lot more than that.

Finally, Eden smiles at me, reaching across the table to lay his hand—warmed from the coffee mug—on top of mine. “Figure out what you want first,” he tells me, soft and thoughtful. “Then you can ask that question again… but with a little more romance next time.”

He winks, and despite how gentle he’s being, I want to die of mortification. I know Eden’s right. He’s a big deal to me, and he deserves to be asked properly.

“Uh, yeah—I—yeah.” I scratch the back of my neck, turning my palm over to let him trace circles into it with his fingertips. “Yeah.”

There’s a long pause as he catches my eyes and smiles, gently at first, and then brighter and brighter. I’m too mesmerized to look away. I can’t even help smiling back at him when he looks at me like the sun itself.

I feel this irresistible pull toward Eden, as sure as a rock thrown into the ocean will sink or a feather caught by the breeze will rise. And the tides never stop—which reminds me, my part-time guy isn’t covering the whole day.

As hard as it is to leave, I have to do it now, or I’m just going to be camped out on his boat for a week straight, showing him what we can tell each other with our bodies alone.

“I better head out soon,” I mumble at last.

“Wait. One more question before you go,” Eden says. “What in the everloving fuck is a bathtub race?”

I burst out laughing, but I’ll admit it’s a fair question. Growing up here, I just take it for granted. The bathtub race is one of the most popular events of the year in Nanaimo, and has been for a lot longer than I’ve been alive.

While I’m busy laughing, Eden takes the chance to keep talking. “Followup questions: is this like a sports day where we have to participate? If so, where will we get a bathtub?”

“Eden, Eden, hold on,” I laugh. “First of all, I wouldn’t let you participate. Secondly, signups were months ago. Third, you wouldn’t be able to squeeze a kayak through the harbour if everyone in the city took part. That’s why we do a watch party on the barge.”

Eden nods slowly along with all my answers, the worried frown disappearing. “Oh. Right. Cool. So it’s basically just an excuse to meet your brothers, huh?”

I pause, shrugging as he watches me expectantly. “Mmm,” I grunt in a vaguely affirmative tone. “If you wanted to, I mean.”

“Sounds like something you’d do with a new friend,” Eden follows up, quick as a whip. I groan as I rise to my feet and gulp down the rest of my coffee, and he just bursts out with one of those raucous, unrestrained laughs. “Sorry, sorry. It’s really sweet of you. I’d like to go.”

“Yeah?” My cheeks burn as I glance slowly down at him. “I mean, thanks. That’s great. I’ll run it by them, but I know they’ll wanna meet you.” That’s an understatement. I just hope Eden’s ready for their… well, enthusiasm.

“I can’t wait,” Eden adds with a bright little smile at me, rising to his feet. “Really.”

My stomach flips with nervous excitement like butterflies trying to bust out and make for their migration grounds. I can’t help but be warm to it, though. The prospect of all my best friends meeting my potential new…

New what?

Lover? That’s not quite right. Partner? It sounds like he’s joining me in business, and barging is the last occupation I’d expect to find him in. I already know the word I mean—I just have to wrap my head around it.

Boyfriend. My new potential boyfriend.

“Me neither,” I murmur at last. I lean in to press my lips against his, closing my eyes to savour the sweetness of this moment together in the morning sun. “Me neither,” I murmur again, combing his hair gently back before I let go of him to duck into the living room.

Eden walks me through the boat to the stern, wearing that thoughtful look on his face like he’s planning something. I’d be worried, but by this point, I just know to expect trouble with him.

“Hm?” I grunt at last, when we emerge into the sun. I wander over to my boat, crouching to loosen the mooring rope.

Eden grins, squinting down at me. “I just never knew I had so many firsts left to explore with you.”

My chest feels so warm and fuzzy. I can’t help smiling back at him. “Wait ’til you hear about the annual golf cart parade. And the strawberry tea—wait, I think we’ve already had that. But there’s always something going on.”

“And I can’t wait to find out.” Eden grins. “This will be a summer for new things. New experiences, and…”

“No,” I grunt, but not quite in time.

“—and new friends,” Eden bursts into giggles as I rise to my feet with the rope wrapped around my hand.

There’s only one thing to do when he’s in this mood. So I kiss him until he stops giggling and his knees go weak, and then I kiss him a little more, and then I pull away and nip his lower lip gently.

It’s a sight to behold, and I pause for long enough to appreciate it. Eden’s gorgeous like this—freshly-kissed, hair sticking to and fro, half-dressed in an old faded T-shirt and his cute little short-shorts, still clutching a cup of coffee in one hand.

“Sorry, skipper,” Eden sighs blissfully, not sounding sorry at all. It makes me laugh, which makes him laugh again, and the noise is so adorable that I lean in to kiss his forehead.

“I’m going,” I tell him firmly, before can sucker me into round two. “Thank you for last night, Eden. And this morning. And... all of it, I guess.”

He laughs. “My pleasure,” he murmurs. Then he grins at me even bigger. “Really,” he adds, which is halfway a dirty joke, except I can hear the wonder and excitement in his voice.

So I smile back at him, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “Have a good day, sweetheart.” The word just comes from me without even meaning it to. Eden giggles and I blush, hastily sliding the rope completely free and tugging the boat in to hop right down into it.

“Thank you. You too. Now, let me see those muscles again as you start that motor,” Eden adds, teasingly leaning on the railing to make a show of sipping his coffee and watching. And I put on a show for him, too, to make us both laugh.

When I finally raise my hand for a wave, I can’t stop smiling—all the way to my home dock. I can’t even remember the last time the morning felt this bright and full of promise.

I know what I want. It’s right out there on the ocean, almost close enough to touch. I just have to wait for Eden to be ready to put down anchor… and this time, do it right.