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Chapter Fourteen

EDEN

“Stupid—door.” I shove my shoulder into the bow door, trying to close it. “Nnfh!”

Murph gently pulls me away from the door, then takes my place. He grabs the handle and yanks the whole door up by half an inch. Then he pushes it again and it closes as smooth as butter.

“It’s sagging on the hinge. I’ll fix it later.”

My jaw’s still hanging open as he turns and looks at me. “Fuck, that was hot,” I breathe out. “Can I be that door?”

Murph lifts his chin, staring at me with dark, hungry eyes that pierce me to the core. “I’m counting on it.”

I don’t remember the last time I felt this sexy—like a piece of meat in the jaws of a lion. Or a soon-to-be desperate mess in the hands of a man with exactly the right amount of patience to handle me.

Murph reaches out without saying a word, so I offer him my hand. He shoves his big, rough fingers between mine.

Fuuuck.

I’m already melting at the knees as Murph pulls me through the living room, straight down the hallway to my bedroom.

The way he looks at me, like he can barely keep his hands off me… it’s incredible. I feel sexy, powerful, in a way I could barely articulate until now. I don’t know if anyone’s ever made me feel quite like that before.

My bedroom usually feels cramped, but Murph’s almost too tall for the ceilings, too wide for the doorway. There’s barely room to turn around. But, of course, that’s what the bed’s for.

“Oh!” I gasp as Murph lets go of my hand and shoves me abruptly onto the bed. I fall flat on my back with a gasp.

Holy shit, is he just going straight for it? I mean… if Murph wants me that bad, I’ll be into it. I love it when I tease him so much that he can’t resist doing something about it right fucking now .

As he crawls onto the bed to kneel between my thighs, I spread my legs for him. “There’s lube under the bed.”

He gives me a look of disbelief, and then his brows draw together with something I can’t quite place—sad or frustrated, perhaps. “We won’t need that.” It feels like he contains a thunderstorm, yet his voice is calm.

My hard-on might burst right out of my shorts. “Oh?”

Murph carefully lowers his weight onto me, pinning me down. I’m suddenly deliciously small and helpless in the grips of his desire. He shifts his weight, grinding our hard-ons against each other’s thighs.

“Fuuuck,” I groan, closing my eyes as my body tingles and throbs. “What—ahh—what do we need, then? I have… all kinds of ideas,” I pant for breath. Murph’s rocking his weight against me, grinding slowly until I’m desperately humping his thigh, and I can barely think straight. “And—And I’m flexible. I can bend my legs all the way?—”

Murph cuts me off. “Seems like you need me to keep your mouth busy,” he whispers, his breath warm against my lips… and then he kisses me.

Ohhhhmygod.

I thought I could hold my own, but Murph’s kiss takes me apart in seconds. He controls the pace of it—and how deeply he kisses me before pulling back to suck or nibble on my lips and dive in again. He pushes his tongue between my lips, slow and steady, until I give in and let him take what he wants—and then he does it faster, harder.

I’m swept away in the onslaught, my cock throbbing for dear life. I’ve never been so fucking close to spilling over the edge, just from grinding against him through all these layers.

I reach down to myself, but Murph grabs both my hands and yanks them over my head. “That’s my pleasure to savour,” he tells me, biting my lower lip and dragging his tongue slowly along it until I see stars. “Don’t deprive me of it.”

Holy fucking shit, where the fuck has this side of Murph been hiding?

My whole body throbs and surges with arousal. My head spins as I whimper senselessly into his mouth, and he runs his fingertips down my arms, cups my cheeks, slowly strokes my hair and neck…

Time itself seems to slip out of my grasp. All I can follow is the movement of Murph’s body against mine. He’s taking his sweet time, exploring every inch of my body with his fingertips—and then his mouth.

“Fuuuuck,” I whimper as his fingertips circle one nipple, slowly and sensually. His mouth is on the other, his tongue rapidly flicking back and forth. “Please…!”

“Please what?” Murph whispers, his breath cool against the warm, wet, hard nub. Then he goes back to running his tongue in even slower circles around my nipple.

“Mmmpghffnngh!”

I’m panting for breath, but however hard I squirm under Murph, I can’t even budge him. I grab the pillow for dear life, tossing my head as I try to resist the temptation to reach down and grab myself again.

“Mmhmm?” Murph chuckles—a low, rough, forceful sound that makes my last functioning brain cells flee.

“Please please please please pleeeease …!” I whimper, squeezing my eyes closed as I beg for dear life.

Oh, fuck . Whatever he just did, white-hot, pleasurable pinpricks are flooding me. My shorts are too tight, and my rock-hard cock is aching for dear life. Then Murph does it again, and I can hear the echoes of my own cry ringing through the boat—and even that’s turning me on.

I peek through my lashes and gasp. He’s sliding his palms up my chest, pinching both my nipples and softly rolling them between his fingertips until it’s right on the edge of too much…

“Nnngh—”

Murph cuts off my wordless moan by almost devouring my mouth, pushing his tongue between my lips over and over, until I can’t do anything besides let him take me apart piece by piece.

At last, he pulls away, his breath hot against my lips as his fingertips leave off the torment. Instead, he drags his fingertips slowly down my sides.

“Yes—ohhh—oh, fuck—” I whimper, twitching at all the unexpectedly pleasurable spots he’s finding along the way. “Take my shorts off, please. I need you. Fuck, I want you so fucking bad—you can do anything you want?—”

Murph presses a finger against my lips. “Ask me with your body,” he murmurs.

I gasp against his finger, staring up at the amused gleam in his eyes. But as much as I want to be irritated at him… he’s finally gliding his hand along the bulge of my cock, rubbing me in slow, firm strokes that make my eyes roll back in my head.

“Much better,” he says, and it takes me a second to realize that I just made a series of wordless noises I didn’t know I could make.

I groan, long and low. Then I can’t help myself—I wrap my lips around his fingertip, sucking it into my mouth.

“Mmm,” Murph grunts, pushing his finger between my lips like he did his tongue. Then he adds a second finger. And I’m so eager to show off—I so badly want to make him imagine what it’ll feel like elsewhere—that I just tilt my head back and take it.

I squeeze my eyes closed, my cheeks burning as Murph slides his fingers across my tongue, slowly and steadily fucking his fingers into my mouth.

His other hand is surprisingly nimble, working open the few buttons I bothered fastening on my shirt. Then he pulls his fingertips out of my mouth and runs the hot, wet pads of his fingers around one nipple.

As my whole body arches against him, I cry out in a thin, desperate whimper. My cock is throbbing so hot and fast that I’m starting to think I might actually cum in my shorts.

There’s certainly no mistaking the rigid line of heat I feel against my thigh.

He’s just as hard as I am. When’s he going to take care of that?

But now I know better than to ask—and besides, it’s not like I could. Murph is shoving the first two fingers of his other hand into my mouth, making me suck them for dear life.

I can’t stop my whimpers when he pulls them free to run them around my nipples in slow, steady circles that make the room spins around me.

“Murph…!” I squeak, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Hm?”

I bite back all the words I want to say—the suggestions, the orders, the directions, the jokes, any of the ways I’m used to deflecting and disguising my own desire, even from myself.

Instead, I arch against him, reaching down to wrap my arms around his back and bury my face in his shoulder. “ Please ,” I gasp raggedly, my thighs trembling.

He chuckles softly and reaches up to gently comb his fingertips through my hair. Then he mouths the side of my neck and starts kissing his way toward my lips. He’s slow, steady, almost gentle—like he has all the time in the world.

When Murph reaches my lips, all bets are off.

He throws the rest of his weight onto me, shoves his tongue into my mouth, and yanks my shorts straight down my thighs. He barely wastes a moment before wrapping his hand around my throbbing length.

It’s so fucking tight—so fucking good ! With every stroke, the ridges of his fingers glide across the sensitive head of my cock. He even twists his hand just right on the upstroke, and I know I’m about to lose the battle.

Surely Murph can see how close I am, right?

“F-Fuck—” I gasp roughly, my head spinning. But I don’t know how to say this next part with my body. “Y-Your plan…”

“Uh huh?” Murph slows his stroke just a tiny bit when his fist reaches the bottom of my cock, and then slowly drags it all the way to the tip.

I gasp, crying out in a long, ragged moan. Murph huffs a quiet breath of amusement into my ear as I struggle to form words again. “You—You’d better… do whatever… you were… planning… oh fuck, I won’t be able to?—”

He kisses the words right off my lips and then nibbles his way along my jaw to whisper right into my ear. “This was the plan.”

This was the plan? I’m the plan?

But I know it’s true. Murph is touching me like he’s fucking worshipping every inch of my body, like he wants nothing more than to make me feel better than I’ve ever felt in my goddamn life, and it’s working.

Holy fucking fuck, is it working.

Over and over, Murph slams the ring of his fingers to the base of my throbbing cock, squeezing tightly around my shaft, teasing the head on the way back up.

I throw my head back into the pillow, my whole body arching and trembling. “ Ohhhmyfucking godMurphMurph?—”

My voice breaks and I silently mouth his name as I careen toward the edge of the endless yes, yes, yes! resonating through every fibre of my being. I gasp roughly against Murph’s lips, trying to tell him.

Of course, Murph already knows. He just kisses me deeper, strokes me faster. He only pauses pushing his tongue into my mouth for long enough to breathe one word.

“Cum.”

And I’m flying over the edge.

I throw my head back into the pillow, gasping for breath. I can feel my own hot mess spilling over myself, as far up as my throat. All thought escapes me as the waves of ecstasy slam through me, right to the tips of my toes.

One breath at a time, all I can do is fall apart in Murph’s arms. And he’s here—holding me like I’m precious, kissing me, stroking me slower and slower as the tension melts from my body.

Even through my delirious haze, I can appreciate the sight of Murph yanking open his pants, pulling out his dick and giving me a show.

“Yes,” I manage in a little whimper as he wraps his hand around himself—his fingers still covered in my sticky mess—and jerks off, hard and fast, right here on top of me.

Murph slides his fingers into my mouth, and I whimper and suck on them as hard as I can. His eyes go wide, his pace speeds up… and then he stutters and groans, throwing his head back as he blows his load all over my chest and stomach.

Holy fucking fuck, I think I’m in heaven.

If I weren’t so exhausted, I’d be up for another round, just from being covered in the evidence of all our passion.

Murph gasps for breath and collapses next to me. I nuzzle into him and he pulls me in against his chest, wrapping his arm around me as he presses his face into my hair.

One breath at a time, we come down to earth. It doesn’t matter how long it takes—we’re both boneless with pleasure, curled up together in the growing darkness.

“Holy fuck,” I finally mumble.

Murph huffs a quick breath of amusement as he slowly slides out of bed. “So, you liked the plan,” he rumbles softly.

“It’s… it’s a good plan.” I grin sleepily, watching him get a wet washcloth. “Good execution, too. Two thumbs up.”

Murph returns with the cloth, gently wiping us both down. Then he crawls into bed again, sliding his arms around me.

He doesn’t need words to know what I need—even if I don’t.

My chest goes tight and my throat burns, and I press my face into his chest before I can start to cry.

This is exactly what I’ve needed for so long. And Murph just… knew. He cared enough to want to. It means more than I can say.

Even now, Murph isn’t asking questions. He just gathers me into his arms and rocks me gently against his chest, pressing his lips into my hair. His energy is calm, his breathing slow. I’d think he was asleep, except that he keeps rubbing my back in big, slow circles.

Murph’s right here with me, but he’s not in a rush—he’s just waiting for me to be okay in my own time. And in this darkness, safe in his hands, it spills out before I can think twice.

“I never told you why I came here.”

Murph’s touch stops for a moment before he resumes again. “Mm?” he hums.

“I—I was living in Vancouver with my boyfriend. Before I came here, I mean.”

Shit. Is this really the right time?

I pause, swallowing nervously, but Murph just keeps rubbing my back, so I take a deep breath to keep going.

“I don’t think he ever loved me,” I admit. It’s the first time I’m saying it aloud to myself, and it hits hard—but it feels good, too. “And I don’t know if I loved him, or I just wanted him to love me.”

Murph’s hand stops on my back. He presses his lips into my hair, nodding silently.

I swallow hard, closing my eyes and snuggling into him. “Then he drunk-voicenoted me instead of his buddy while he was out with the guys. He called me the old backup plan .”

Murph goes still. I can feel his confusion. “Huh? He told you his backup plan?”

He’s just not the kind of guy who would ever say that, and it makes me smile despite the ache in my chest. “No, you heard that right. He called me his backup plan.”

I’ve never felt someone go from tender to rigid with fury so fast. Every muscle in Murph’s body hardens as he sucks in a breath. He slides his leg over mine like he’s trying to wrap me up in a cocoon. “I’m sorry, Eden,” he murmurs, his arms tightening until he almost crushes me against him.

Feeling his protective rage makes something in me relax at last, safe in his hold. “Yeah. Pretty shitty,” I mumble. “But I woke up and found out I bought Dawn’s Embrace… so I packed up my stuff and sold the rest. And that pretty much brings me here.”

Any moment now, Murph will put together the pieces and realize how recent this was. When June began, I was still living with George.

“So?” Murph echoes me at last.

I blink, pulling away to peer through the darkness. I can almost make out his expression. He doesn’t even look annoyed. “My baggage is fresher than the catch of the day.”

Murph shrugs wordlessly.

“I—I should have told you.” The frustration finally spills out of me in a rush of breath. “But I didn’t want to. I was afraid he’d just be this looming shadow in my new life. And… and I didn’t want to scare you off.”

Murph just watches me quietly. “Why?”

“You’re not just a rebound. But I—it all happened so fast, and—fuck, I haven’t even called my parents and told them about the breakup.” I gulp, shaking my head slowly. “I just… I had to run, and I didn’t want to look back. I can’t stand seeing the look on their faces when I tell them what an asshole he was. Or, you know what’s worse than that? Finding out that everyone else already knew.”

“Eden,” Murph gently interrupts me, cupping my cheeks between his rough palms. He pulls me in again, and then he presses his warm lips against my forehead. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

I open my mouth for a second, and then I slowly shut it again. For once, he’s got me. I don’t have words—except that I can’t figure out why the hell he’s being so nice.

“Your past is your past,” he says. “We’ve all got one. Some of us have had smooth sailing, and others… well, you’ve been caught in a storm.”

“But…” I stutter, shaking my head. “Doesn’t it worry you? I just blew in from a freaking hurricane. I don’t know what’s left of me to be fixed. God, I haven’t even been in… dry-dock? That’s what they call it, right?”

“Then we can get tested together.”

“Murph!” I gasp with surprise, and then I dissolve into giggles.

Holy shit, it feels good to just let go of all that gathering tension. After a few moments, Murph joins in, softly chuckling along. Only when the tears gather in my eyes does my laughter tail off enough to breathe again.

Murph gathers me into his chest and rubs my back again. “It doesn’t bother me. I’m just glad I can still hoist the old sail.”

I snort. “I’m trying to be serious.”

“Okay, okay. All aboard the HMCS Serious.”

It’s hard to be melodramatic when Murph’s doing this big, calm thing. “ Anyway ,” I huff at him. “I’m just saying… there are a million newer, shinier boats. Why this one?”

Murph runs his hand slowly up my shoulder blades, across my neck, and tangles his fingers in the hair at the back of my head. “Exactly what I keep saying,” he murmurs. “Why’d you choose this old rust bucket?”

I groan and elbow him, but this time, Murph doesn’t break into a grin. He just gazes at me through the darkness, letting his touch tell me that he’s being serious.

“Did you really, truly have no other options?” Murph adds. “Or was your heart telling you which way to go?”

“Uh,” I stutter, slowly shaking my head. “I—I, uh—I mean—I can’t trust my own heart anymore, you know? I don’t know what to say all the time, and I’m used to him talking circles around me, and then I get stuck in my thoughts?—”

“Eden,” Murph says softly. “Tell me with your body. It works better that way, doesn’t it? You’ve been doing it all along.”

I blink up at him, stunned into silence. Suddenly, I’ve got a heart full of feelings and a lump in my throat that just won’t go away, however hard I swallow. It’s almost overwhelming, my urge to chatter and fill the air—even with my uncertainty, if that’s all I have?—

Wait.

My breath rushes out like I’ve been punched in the stomach.

That’s it, isn’t it? With George, I had to fill up every silence, take every opportunity I could to reassert myself, so I didn’t get swallowed up by his perfect little fantasy—my perfect nightmare.

But I’m with Murph. He lets me talk and talk, and when I look up at him, he’s always there with a calm, secret little smile for me. Like he’s promising me something, and now I think I’m starting to understand what.

“Oh,” I finally whisper. I slowly lay my head on his shoulder again, closing my eyes as he gently finger-combs my hair and scratches my scalp.

Murph just lets the silence stretch on, soft and comfortable, and I smile slowly to myself. There’s so much more space than I ever realized: to rest, to think… and, most of all, to feel.

I’m breathing in and out, slowly coming unfurled and loose and soft in Murph’s arms. At last, I breathe out a sigh, my throat tight with gratitude. “Thank you,” I whisper.

I had no idea how much I need to be loved like this. And now I don’t know what I’d do without it. But I’m not going to look for problems when I’m already good enough at finding them on the fly.

Murph grunts, shrugging off the thanks as usual. But he wraps his hand around the back of my head and presses a kiss into my hair before he rubs my neck again.

“I’m glad you were so close to a safe harbour, Eden. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’ve been out in the storm for long enough.”

My breath rushes out. I press my face into Murph’s chest, my hands curling up under my chin as I close my eyes. And, of course, Murph hears me when I ask with my body, so I don’t even need to say it out loud.

He just holds me and holds me as our breathing falls into a rhythm, until the darkness finally steals me away.