Page 6

SIX

Two weeks later

MOIRA

I reach over to pluck a greasy fry from the basket, then lean my head back in the steamy bubbles of the hot tub as I eat it. Damn, Domhn really does know how to live it up. This hot tub is fucking massive.

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk to me,” I shout at the top of my lungs. “I’ll just keep enjoying your amazing backyard!”

I look around his large, elegant back deck for cameras. I’m sure there are at least ten pointed at me, but my annoying fucking brother has them discretely hidden.

Is he even listening?

I mean, sure, it’s almost three in the morning. I grab my phone from the other side of the hot tub with my non-greasy hand to double-check—yup, two-fifty-seven. But I figured that would piss him off even more with all his fancy security alarms going off.

It’s been weeks since I had any sort of stimulation.

And I mean… any.

Obviously, I still masturbate every time I’m in an enclosed space—my bedroom, my bathroom, my shower, the bathroom of the coffee shop on the bottom floor of my building, in my car with my seat levered down so no one can see me—but there’s barely any point to it lately. And yes, I know, it’s creepy. And no, I’m not proud of it. Especially since there’s nothing more shameful than being in a public restroom, rubbing at your pussy like it’s a firestick and you’re trying to get a goddamn spark when there’s absolutely nothing happening. And then just feeling even more numb.

I can’t get off.

What the hell even is my life if I can’t fucking get off?

I splash the bubbling water with both my fists and furiously kick my feet. Then my ass slips off the edge of the bench.

“Shit!” I splash even more, giggling as I regain my balance.

What if I went back and saw that hot priest?

I let myself sink back in the water but stretch out my arms to hold on to the side of the smoothly tiled hot tub this time, kicking out my feet in the multicolored water. While this house is far smaller than his last, Domhn’s still so fucking fancy; the pool and hot tub have lights that aren’t just white but slowly shift back and forth between gentle neon colors.

I put my feet together like I’m a mermaid and let my body float, head resting on the edge.

Maybe I should go back to church.

I sigh. That priest was so fucking hot. I’d let him give me absolution anytime .

I smirk, then sigh again.

Last Sunday, I went back to listen to the bells, but I couldn’t go inside. I didn’t need to go and make a dumbass of myself again in front of the yummy priest. I just stayed long enough to catch a peek of him when the doors opened, where he stood there, all dark and sexy in that collar of his and so patient with each one of the older folks who came through the receiving line after church.

If he looked at me with those gentle eyes again, I would melt, and then die, and then throw myself in his arms, slowly sliding down his body with my hands still clutching him, and then run away again as fast as I could.

So, instead of recreating that mortifying situation in reality, I go to the club night after night. But I don’t bother fucking anyone.

I keep hoping Bane, the magic-fingered masked dom, will come back, but he never does. Sometimes, I take a turn on the spanking bench to at least feel something , but not even that can get past whatever this funk is I’m in the middle of.

I just know it hurts a tiny bit less when I’m at the club.

But tonight, both Quinn and Jinx were busy sceneing on stage, and I just sat there alone, feeling nothing. I tried texting Anna and Kira but got no response.

Everybody’s got their own lives. And I’m just floating, purposeless.

Because I told Marci to take me off the schedule at the shelter so often the last six months, she said she didn’t have any available volunteer shifts when I called today. Bitch . There are always shifts. She just doesn’t like me.

I kick at the water.

Tonight, after the club closed, I couldn’t stand the thought of going back home to compulsively wail on my numb-to-the-world-clit.

So I drove here. My stupid brother has to talk to me eventually. I figured there was no point ringing the doorbell, so I just came around to the back, hopped the security fence, and made myself at home in his hot tub.

Frankly, I’m shocked attack dogs haven’t come and ripped my throat out. Domhn’s such a freak about security. I figured a bunch of alarms would have gone off by now and the cops would be hauling my ass away.

Does that mean he still loves me if he disabled the alarms enough to just ignore me and not call the cops?

I kick angrily at the water again.

Of course, he’s ignoring me. I don’t exist, right? I’m dead to him. Fucking bullshit. He should be so lucky. He can’t get rid of me that easily.

At least it’s one thing keeping me from wanting to disappear off the face of the earth. Fucking spite. I mean, yes, it would be fun to haunt his ass and see how bad he felt for saying all the things he’s said?—

The bubbles suddenly turn off.

I swing my head around toward the back of the house.

“Domhn?”

Then I realize, no. It was just the stupid timer. I’ve been in here for an hour already? Sighing, I drop all the way underneath the water. The hot tub is big enough that I can submerge my entire body.

I look up through the circles of settling water at the big, full moon.

It’s so bright.

But lonely, too, up there by itself in the sky. I’ve always been a moon child, preferring night to day. Just you and me , pal , I say to the moon from underneath the water, bubbles coming out of my mouth with each word.

I stay under until my lungs burn.

Slowly, I bring my face out of the hot water.

The cold air feels like a relief. I’ve been in too long, but I don’t want to leave yet.

Maybe just another hour. There are towels by the grill. I could wrap myself up in them and sleep by the pool until Domhn’s forced to kick me out tomorrow.

Just as I’m daydreaming all the ways I could try to get my brother’s attention, movement at the edge of the yard catches my eye.

What the fuck?

I know why I’m back here, but who the fuck else is trespassing in my brother’s backyard at this hour?

I slink back down in the water so that only the top of my head and eyes are over the edge, like a crocodile, watching a figure in black jog toward the house.

Fucking seriously?

Am I watching someone try to rob my brother? Yes, his security will keep them out… but I could always try to stop them, too.

That’s, like, fucking heroic. And if they, I dunno, knife me in the process, well… at least it’ll be noticeable.

I slip, dripping but still relatively quiet, out of the hot tub.

Then I run on bare feet toward the figure right as they manage to pry the kitchen window open without setting off any alarms at all. Maybe they’re silent, only lighting up Domhn’s phone or something.

Either way, the intruder has one leg over the windowsill and is about to climb in before I leap forward to grab them and yank them back to the deck.

They yelp—a much higher-pitched sound than I’m expecting—and before I can grab their wrists to pin them, they’ve flipped me and got me pinned.

“Anna?!” I gasp in shock when I realize it’s my soon-to-be sister-in-law crouched on top of me. “What the hell are you?—?”

But her hand slamming down over my mouth silences me. By the hard way she’s glaring at me and shaking her head no —I get it.

It’s not Anna. It’s obviously Mads running the show right now.

I nod to let Mads know that I won’t make a noise.

She looks suspicious but still lets go of my mouth.

“Mads,” I whisper, “What the hell are you doing?”

“What am I doing?” she laughs. “Why are you drenched in nothing but your underwear in my backyard?”

Right. I look down at myself. I figured underwear worked as well as a bikini. I can’t decide which of us is being weirder right now. “I was stopping by to borrow the hot tub. Now you .”

She sighs, rolls her eyes, and climbs off me. “Can’t a girl take a night-time stroll without being interrogated?”

I raise an eyebrow, looking her up and down in her totally black burglar outfit.

So she’s sneaking because Domhn doesn’t know she’s out… and that’s why all hell didn’t get raised when I hopped the fence.

“You disabled his security,” I breathe in realization.

She shrugs. “He’s not the only one who’s good with a computer.”

“Where were you?”

“None of your business, kid.” Her tone’s sharp now. “Now get out of here.” Then her brow pinches. “Where the hell’s your car, anyway? I didn’t see it on the way in?”

“I took an Uber.” I may have had a few drinks tonight at the club. It was embarrassing when Caleb cut me off. I wasn’t drunk or anything, but he has a habit of being Domhn’s watchdog, even though Domhn doesn’t give a shit anymore. It had me wishing I’d gone to a real bar where they let you drink and grab someone random to fuck, because a few drinks in, I’d changed my mind about wanting dick even if it wasn’t going to get me off.

Instead, I just Ubered here.

“Well, put the rest of your clothes back on and call one to take you home.” Then she puts a finger to her lips. “And not a word about this to Donny.”

My shoulders slump. I’m trying to get back into my brother’s good graces, not keep more secrets from him. Especially when it comes to the most important person in his life. If he ever finds out I’m keeping secrets about Mads sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night for reasons she won’t say, I really will be dead to him. Because he’ll kill me himself.

But I nod my head miserably. Because girl code. And because I see myself in Mads.

This bitch is bananas, too.

“You’re the best, kid.”

She grins and nuzzles the top of my wet hair, then disappears in through the window.