Page 34

THIRTY-FOUR

MOIRA

Bane is on his knees before me.

He doesn’t see me as a broken thing. Or as a problem or inconvenience.

He’s looking up at me like a goddess.

He called me his priest.

I sit up taller and cross a leg elegantly over the other as I stare down at him. I’ve been messy and weeping at his feet and an absolute and total manic mess. Even now, I have to fight tears at the amount of trust he’s placing in me.

In his gaze, I read total devotion, and it gives me strength.

In his eyes, I see who I could be.

Who, to him, I already am .

My chest clenches, and then, looking at him kneeling in a penitent position, it hits me—for once , I’m not the one on my knees. That floor doesn’t look soft, either.

’Cause, Jesus. How many hard floors have I kneeled on, bowing down to men while I gave them blow jobs? How many grimy tiles have I looked at up close and personal while I bent over so I was all but touching my toes so they could get a better angle to fuck me in a bar bathroom stall?

No one’s ever let me take the power. To be fair, I also haven’t gone seeking it out. And I—I think some part of me never believed I was capable of holding it. Or that I deserved it.

Bane’s dropped his face to the ground. Just like I’ve seen so many little good subbies do at the club. It’s such an incongruous look on such a big, confident man. I mean, yes, I’ve seen plenty of big gay guys as subs, but a powerful, hetero man submitting like… like this ? I’m probably stereotyping, but good Lord.

The sight of him has my stomach sweeping out with lust.

I put my foot on his shoulder and kick him back lightly, just to see how he reacts. He tips backward easily, absorbing my motion and then returning to the perfect position, head bowed.

I bite my bottom lip and look around the altar table. In the dark, with nothing but candlelight and as naked as I am, I feel wild and a little pagan. I stretch my arms out over my head and breathe in so deeply that my lungs fill all the way up. My arms arc slowly down as I breathe out.

All my worries and anxiety from the day dissolve with my released breath. Nothing matters but the satisfaction I’m about to chase with this man. There’s nothing in the whole world except the oiled wood of this church, our two bodies, and the things we’ll do to one another.

No other moments exist outside this one.

I reach over and pick up one of the last scattered communion wafers from a silver plate. Then I spread my legs wide, lifting one ankle up toward my shoulder.

Carefully, I place the little round wafer between the lips of my sex.

“My body,” I whisper. “Broken for you. Eat, and be cleansed of your sins.”

Bane’s eyes darken as they lift to mine, that uncanny connection that always zings like shooting electricity between us, lighting me up.

Then he lifts from his knees.

I forget to take a breath as slowly, gaze still locked with mine, he extends his tongue to lick straight up the center of my pussy.

The wafer is soggy with my juices.

I watch it disappear into his mouth. His eyes close as if in ecstasy as he chews and swallows.

Is he praying right now? I only realize in this moment that I’ve never actually stopped to ask him if he actually believes in… I glance around. All… this .

“What are you thinking?” I whisper.

“I’m giving thanks for you.” I love that he responds immediately. His brow furrows. “And I’m thinking I want you to hold me down with your weight on my chest and shove my face sideways into the ground while you ride my cock. That’s what I’m thinking.”

I gasp, his words stealing the breath from my lungs. “Holy fuck that’s hot.”

My pussy clenches, wanting everything he just described.

But for once, I don’t immediately give in to the need that has my body twitching and use the gift of patience and discipline the man on his knees before me gave me.

And what a fucking gift it is. I close my eyes and luxuriate in the feelings making my stomach squirm and my pussy muscles clench and unclench.

Over the last year, before meeting Bane, I had totally lost connection with my body.

Ever since… Ever since I betrayed my brother without meaning to.

Whether or not I meant to, Anna was hurt in a way she almost couldn’t come back from. I forced her into a terrible situation with consequences that have lasted to this day. For both her and my brother.

And I’m sorry .

Oh God, I’m so, so sorry.

Tears squeeze out of my eyes. Yes, I was just being my normal, rebellious, thoughtless self.

I reach for the silver chalice of wine, bring it to my mouth, then tip my head back and close my eyes.

Yes , I was being my normal, thoughtless self. And people got hurt .

Both are true. And I will absolutely try to be more conscientious in the future. I will beg for forgiveness on my knees.

But whether or not Domhn or anyone else fucking acknowledges it, it’s also the truth that I am trying.

I’m trying when it would be so much fucking easier to give up.

No one but Bane has ever seen that. How fucking hard I fight every fucking day, and how brave it is to keep showing up as well as I do in the world. Even if everyone thinks I’m a disaster, he looks at me and thinks I’m stunning.

Somehow, he gets it. He gets that every morning, apart from a few bad months earlier this year, I get out of fucking bed, and I try .

“My blood.” My voice rings out in the church as I lift the chalice. “Spilled for the forgiveness of your sins. Drink and be whole.”

I spill the wine down my chest, letting it flow down the valley between my breasts. It cascades down my belly to my sex.

Where Bane’s mouth swiftly moves to my pussy to gulp up my offering.

The wine finishes pouring from the chalice, and I drop it to the table, too distracted to do anything else because, oh god?—

I grab Bane’s hair, fingernails clenched right at his scalp as his mouth continues licking, then suckling at my cunt.

“Oh!” I cry and then can’t manage words as my pussy flutters with pleasure that bites straight up to my belly. My other hand scrabbles somewhere at the fabric of Bane’s shoulder, pulling his mouth deeper into me.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. I don’t have sound.

My fingertips are too busy lighting up with pulsing fire.

My chest convulses with the orgasm I didn’t even realize was already building, now racing up and down my spine.

Mother fucker , how does that feel so goddamned good ?

I drop his shoulder to brace myself back on the altar while my hips buck up into his perfect, slurping, magical mouth.

I keep one hand fisted in his hair, though, and thank god I’m holding on to something because he takes me right back up to the peak almost as soon as I’ve come down from the last one.

I screech some sort of animal noise because, Oh ! Now my goddamn spine is lit up. Good god, it’s busting out the top of my scalp this time.

Coherent thought blanks out for a minute as I wrap my legs around his head and hump the man’s damn face. He only eats more voraciously. Motorboating my pussy one second. Then the next, licking deep inside my cunt so, so deeply with his wicked tongue.

“Oh, God!” I scream, coming harder than any of the previous warm-ups, hips shuddering violently against Bane’s face.