Page 11 of Unholy Confessions (The Paper Rings Trilogy #1)

" I can't believe I have to go back home tomorrow," I pout as I wrap my arms around RJ's neck and hold on tight.

He drops a kiss to my forehead. "I know, but you at least get to see the show tonight."

I grin as I look up at him. "At least I get to see you put on a show tonight. It's my favorite thing, Rhett. Seeing you up onstage, and then when you look out at me when I'm in the crowd? Hottest thing ever."

He hooks his arms tighter around my waist. "Then I'll have to work extra-hard in being hotter for you, huh?"

"Guess so," I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him on the side of the neck. "I'm going to get my nails done with Lauren," I mention Grey Skies co-manager. She and I were in dance together when we were kids, and we've been really friends ever since, even though she's EJ's age.

"Have fun with her." He taps my ass with the palm of his hand. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, I'm going to try and see you before the show, but if not I'll meet you afterward." I tell him, pulling back. "Is that cool?"

"Yeah, we'll pull an all-nighter together if you want."

We used to do that all the time, but as I've gotten older it's been harder. "I'll do my best to keep up with you, RJ."

He sighs, pursing his lips. "All I ask is your best, babe."

Throwing my head back, I giggle. "You always get the best of me. I gotta go, I'll see you later."

"Love you," he throws the words to my back as I'm leaving.

"Love you, too."

The nail salon is buzzing with activity when Lauren and I settle into the pedicure chairs.

I've missed this – just girl time without the chaos of tour life swirling around us every time I get to see her.

It's not like she's in Nashville every other week and able to meet while I'm finishing up college.

Lauren picks a deep burgundy polish while I go for my usual hot pink.

"So how's everything been?" I ask as the nail tech gets to work. "With the band, I mean. And with you."

Lauren shrugs, but there's something in her expression that makes me pay closer attention.

"Good, mostly. Busy as hell, obviously. The guys have been working non-stop.

" She pauses, glancing at me. "Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something.

Have you noticed RJ seems... I don't know, different lately? "

My stomach tightens. "Different how?"

"Just tired, you know? More than usual. And his moods have been all over the place the past month or so. One minute he's bouncing off the walls, the next he's completely shut down." She lowers her voice. "EJ's noticed it too."

I bite my lip, considering how much to share.

Lauren's been around long enough to know about RJ's struggles, but I still feel protective of his privacy.

"He's been on medication for his ADHD and depression for a while now.

It usually helps a lot, but..." I trail off, not sure how to put my fears into words.

"But what?"

"Sometimes the meds stop working as well.

Or they need to be adjusted. We've only had to deal with that once.

Before he got on them, it was really hard.

The mood swings were intense, and he'd go days barely sleeping or eating.

" I watch the nail tech paint careful strokes across my toes.

"I just worry that maybe what he's taking isn't doing the job anymore. "

Lauren nods thoughtfully. "That makes sense. I mean, he's still incredible onstage, but backstage he just seems... scattered. More than his usual scattered."

"Has he talked to anyone about it? His doctor, or...?"

"You know RJ. He hates admitting when something's not working." Lauren sighs. "Maybe you could bring it up?"

"Maybe." But I know how that conversation will go. RJ doesn't like feeling like his mental health is being managed or monitored, even by people who love him.

We spend the rest of our appointment talking about day-to-day shit – Lauren's new apartment, my classes back home, gossip about other bands we're loving. But RJ's struggles hover in the back of my mind like a storm cloud on a summer afternoon.

By the time we make it to the venue, Grey Skies is already about to take the stage. I can see RJ with his guitar, strumming chords as he watches the crowd from stage left with that focused intensity he gets before a show.

Lauren leads me to the spot she's reserved right at the front of the barricade. "Best view in the house," she says with a grin.

When the lights dim and Grey Skies strolls on as a group, the energy in the room shifts completely. EJ commands attention the moment he grabs the microphone, but my eyes are locked on RJ.

He looks incredible up there – hair falling in his eyes, fingers flying as he plays with passion normally reserves for me. When he catches sight of me in the crowd during the second song, his whole face lights up. He throws me a wink that makes my knees go weak, and I blow him a kiss in return.

The flirting continues throughout the set.

During a slower song, he makes eye contact with me and mouths "beautiful" while his fingers continue moving effortlessly across the strings.

I press my hand to my heart dramatically, making him laugh so hard he almost misses a chord change.

I grab my phone out of my back pocket and take a few pictures, along with a couple of videos.

It'll keep me from missing him so much when I go back to school.

Watching the ones that are posted to social media is okay, but the ones where his eyes are right on me, and it's like we're the only two people in the middle of thousands.

These will get me through the lonely nights.

"You two are disgusting," Lauren shouts in my ear, but she's grinning.

"Jealous!" I shout back.

The show is electric. RJ's playing is tight and powerful, and watching him lose himself in the music never gets old.

This is where he comes alive – with his guitar in his hands, surrounded by the chaos and energy of a live crowd.

When they finish their set with their biggest hit, the entire venue is on their feet screaming, and I am more proud than I've ever been.

Backstage is a madhouse of crew members breaking down equipment and band members coming down from their performance high. I weave through the chaos until I spot RJ pulling his t-shirt off and reaching for a clean one.

"Hey, rockstar," I flirt.

He spins around and immediately pulls me into his arms, lifting me off my feet. "Did you like the show?"

He always asks me this, always.

"Liked it? I loved it. You were incredible up there. As always." I kiss his sweaty neck, tasting salt and adrenaline. "That solo during 'Midnight Train' made my heart stop."

"Yeah? What about when I winked at you during 'Restless'?"

"That was pretty good too," I tease. "Though I think half the front row thought you were winking at them."

"Only had eyes for you, babe."

EJ appears beside us, still buzzing from the performance. "Montgomery! Good to see you."

"Great show tonight," I tell him, accepting his quick hug. "You guys killed it."

"RJ kept trying to show off for you," EJ says with a knowing smirk. "Almost threw off the entire rhythm section during 'Breaking Point.'"

"Did not," RJ protests, but his cheeks are flushed.

"Did too. Good thing everyone else is talented enough to recover."

After a few more minutes of post-show chaos, RJ and I escape to the quiet of our hotel room. I'm exhausted from the long day, but RJ seems more wired than usual – pacing around the room, talking rapidly about the show, unable to sit still.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower," I tell him, kissing his cheek before disappearing into the bathroom.

When I emerge fifteen minutes later in just his oversized band t-shirt and underwear, RJ is sitting on the edge of the bed bouncing his leg and scrolling through his phone with manic energy.

"Hey," I say softly, moving to stand between his legs. "You okay? You seem really amped up."

He sets his phone aside and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. "Just adrenaline from being onstage. It always takes a while to come down after a show. You know this, right?"

But something feels different about this. His energy is more frantic, less controlled than his usual post-show high. His hands are restless on my skin, and there's an almost desperate edge to the way he's looking at me.

"RJ..." I start, thinking about my conversation with Lauren earlier.

"I missed you so much today," he interrupts, his voice rough. "Couldn't stop thinking about having you here tonight, in this room, just us."

His hands slide up under the hem of his shirt that I'm wearing, fingertips tracing patterns on my bare skin. The touch sends shivers through me, and I can see in his eyes that familiar heat that always makes rational thought impossible.

"I missed you too," I whisper, threading my fingers through his hair.

He pulls me down for a kiss that's hungry and desperate, like he's trying to pour all his restless energy into this moment between us. And despite the worry lingering in the back of my mind, I let myself get lost in him – in us – the way I always do.