Beck
“I know of at least one thing you were wrong about.”
“Well, add it to the list.”
“I’m serious, Beck.”
“Okay, then what else have I been wrong about?”
“Feeling the need to prove yourself, for one. We all knew how smart and determined you were. There was no doubt that you were going to go off and do big things.”
“I don’t know about all that.”
“Well, I do. You’re amazing. You always have been.”
There was something about Torch’s expression that made me think that he was being completely sincere, and I had no idea how to take it. I could only stand there and listen as he continued, “And as far as the whole getting pregnant goes, it brought you Ava, and there is no reason to ever be embarrassed about her. She’s an amazing kid.”
“Yes, she is, and I never meant to imply otherwise. She’s my whole world. It was just a lot to take on back then, and I just didn’t want...” The lump in my throat started to choke me up as I tried to say, “I just didn’t want everyone to think I’d messed up again and chose the wrong guy again.”
“So, you let your pride get in the way.”
"Maybe.” I looked up at him and shrugged. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
“You were wrong about something else, you know?”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“I did care. I cared a hell of a lot. Still do.”
The seriousness of his tone and that longing look in his eyes caught me off-guard. I’d never thought he’d even noticed me, much less cared about me or what I was doing. The realization brought butterflies to my stomach, and they were doing a real number on me.
I needed to respond. I needed to say something, but I couldn’t think. I couldn’t speak. I just stood there, locked in my own prison of thoughts, as I stared at his mouth—which took my mind to a place it had no business going.
It took me a moment, but I finally managed to say, “I had no idea.”
“Didn’t figure you did.” He held my gaze as he said, “I just need to know one thing.”
“Okay? What?”
“Do you still feel the same?”
“What?”
“It’s a simple question, Beck. Do you or don’t you?”
I had no idea how to answer him, so I said, “It’s been seven years, Thomas.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Yes, you do. Now, say it.”
“Fine, my feelings for you have never changed.”
“See, that wasn’t so hard.”
He stepped closer and reached for my waist, gently pulling me towards him. He held me tightly against his chest, the warmth of his body surrounding me, and I found myself longing for more. He brought the palm of his hand to the side of my face, gently brushing his thumb across my cheek. “I should’ve told you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now... I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”
He slowly lowered his lips to mine, kissing me tenderly. At first, his touch was soft and gentle, but it quickly changed to something more. A deep growl vibrated through his chest while his fingers tangled tightly in the back of my hair, pulling me closer as he took complete control of the kiss.
His tongue brushed against mine, and the world around us melted away as we got lost in each other’s arms. There was no doubt that we had chemistry. I could feel it pulsing through me as he kissed me long and hard, and his possessive hold on me had me eager for more. Without warning, he pulled back, looking at me with an expression I didn’t quite understand.
“Momma,” Ava called out, and we both froze.
And just like that, it felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over me as I turned and spotted her at the end of the hall. Her little cheeks were red, and her eyes were puffy like she’d been crying. Thomas took a step back, giving me room to rush over to her. “Hey, sweetie. What’s wrong?”
“My tummy hurts,” she whined.
“Did you eat too much?”
She shook her head no, then buried her face in my chest and whimpered. Torch stepped closer, his expression softening in a way I didn’t see often. “She okay?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head, worry tightening my chest. “She was fine earlier.”
“Maybe it’s something she ate.”
“Maybe.”
Torch placed his palm on her forehead and grimaced. “She’s burning up.”
“Oh, man. I should get her home.”
“I’ll drive.” Torch said firmly, already holding his hand out for my keys.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not like it’s out of my way, Beck.” He gave me a look that shut down any argument. “Now, give me the keys.”
With Ava whimpering in my arms, I didn’t have the energy to argue. I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my key fob, then handed it over to Torch. I followed him out to the car, and he opened the back door for me. Ava was still clinging to me as I secured her into her car seat. I slid in next to her while Torch climbed into the driver’s seat.
I sent a quick text to Mom and Dad, letting them know that Ava wasn’t feeling well, and we were heading home. By the time I was done, Torch had adjusted the driver’s seat and had started the engine.
The ride was quiet except for Ava’s soft sniffles and whines, and my whispered reassurances. Torch glanced at us in the rearview mirror, and his brows furrowed in concern. “You two okay back there?”
“Yeah.” I brushed the hair from Ava’s eyes and couldn’t help but notice that she looked a little pale. “But I’m not sure for how long.”
“Okay. We’re almost there.”
When we got to my place, Torch parked and was out of the car before I could even reach for the door handle. He helped me out, then reached down and scooped Ava up like she weighed nothing. As he started for the door, he looked down at me and asked, “Where do you want her?”
“Let’s try the sofa,” I answered softly, watching how carefully he carried her inside.
He nodded, and once I’d unlocked the door, he carried her straight to the living room, setting her down gently on the sofa. I followed right behind him, grabbing her favorite blanket and tucking it around her. She blinked up at me, and she was on the brink of tears as she muttered, “I don’t feel good.”
“I know, baby.” I knelt beside her as I said, “I’m going to go grab a few things to help you feel better, okay?”
Ava nodded, and I stood and started for the kitchen. I grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet and wet it before taking a large bowl from the cabinet. I carried everything into the living room, and I was getting Ava situated when Torch asked, “Need me to do anything?”
“Could you grab the child’s Pepto and Tylenol from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom?”
“You got it.” He darted off to the bathroom and returned a few seconds later with the medicine and a spoon. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.”
“This should make you feel better.” I gave Ava the medicine before placing the cold rag on her head. “There you go, sweetie.”
Ava curled into her blanket and closed her eyes as I ran my fingers through her hair. Torch stood in the doorway a moment, watching us before he asked, “Can I get you anything else?”
“No, I think we’re good.”
I thought some ginger ale might help settle her stomach, so I started back towards the kitchen. When I walked past him, Torch caught my arm gently and asked, “You sure?”
The genuine concern in his voice caught me off guard, and for a second, I didn’t know what to say. “Yeah, I’m sure. Thank you. I really appreciate you cutting your Thanksgiving short and bringing us home.”
He nodded and stepped back, letting me continue towards the kitchen. By the time I got back, Ava was sound asleep, and there was no sign of Torch. I was a little disappointed that he’d left without saying goodbye. I was careful not to wake Ava as I made my way over to the other end of the sofa and sat down. It was the first moment I’d had to really think about my conversation with Torch or the kiss we’d shared.
I had waited for that kiss for almost half my life, and it did not disappoint. I brought my hand up and brushed my fingertips against my lips as I replayed the kiss in my mind. It was everything I’d ever imagined—soft but commanding, tender but full of heat—and it left me positively breathless. I’d tried so many times, but Torch had always been the one I couldn’t quite shake. He was the one I measured every other man against, and none of them had ever brought butterflies to my stomach the way he did.
And now, after all these years, he’d finally kissed me.
I couldn’t help but smile, even as a knot of uncertainty twisted in my stomach. I had no idea what that kiss had meant. It could’ve just been something he’d done on a whim, or it could’ve been something more. My mind was a battlefield of doubts and questions, but I couldn’t stop my heart from clinging to the hope that this could be the start of something between us.
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, and a smile crossed my face as I dozed off. I hadn’t been sleeping long when the sound of my front door creaking open woke me. My chest tightened as I looked up and found Torch standing in the doorway. He was carrying a container full of leftovers in one hand and a bottle of ginger ale in the other. His voice was soft as he said, “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t,” I lied. “I was just resting.”
He nodded, his gaze flicking over to Ava before settling back on me. “I brought you a couple of desserts. I know how you love Cass’s apple pie.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I murmured, the simple gesture making my chest ache.
“I know.” His eyes held mine, and for a moment, the air between us felt heavy with unspoken words. “I wanted to.”
He carried the food into the kitchen, and I could hear him open the fridge door and place them inside. Seconds later, he returned to the living room, and his eyes immediately fell on Ava. He looked concerned, so I told him, “She’s been asleep since you left.”
“I talked to Doc. He said to give him a call if you want him to come by.”
“Oh, that would be great.”
“Talked to your folks, too.”
“Oh, man. I forgot to check back in with them.”
“It’s okay. I explained the situation, and your mom said she’d stop by later and check on you guys.”
“Okay, good.”
“Anything else I can do before I go?”
“You’ve already done plenty.”
“Alright then. I guess I’ll leave you to it.” He motioned his head towards the kitchen as he said, “I left my number on the counter. If you need anything, give me a call.”
“Okay. Thanks.” I motioned my head toward the kitchen. “And thanks for the desserts. It was really sweet of you.”
He nodded, then started for the door. I wanted to call out to him and ask him to stay, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I had no way of knowing just how sick Ava really was, and I didn’t want to take a chance on him getting sick, too—especially after how sweet he’d been to us both.
He’d barely stepped outside when Ava sat up and muttered, “Momma.”
I could tell by her expression that she was about to get sick, so I jumped up and grabbed the bowl. I started towards her, but I was too late. After she was finished, I took the blanket and soiled clothes and put them in the washer. Before I could get her changed, she got sick again, making another huge mess.
That became the trend over the remainder of the night, and by the following morning, I was exhausted. Thankfully, her tummy finally settled, and she spent the better part of the day curled up on the sofa watching her favorite movies. I thought we were on the uptrend until the following morning when I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a freight train.
It started as a dull ache in my back.
I chalked it up to all the bending over while taking care of Ava and just kept going. But as the hours passed, that dull ache started to spread to my joints, and then the fever and chills started.
I was about to start dinner when a wave of nausea hit me so hard, I thought it was going to take me out. My skin felt clammy, my head pounding, and when I touched my forehead, it was burning up.
The timing couldn’t have been worse.
I was supposed to start my new job in two days, and I just wanted to hide in my covers and die a slow, miserable death. I was considering doing just that when there was a knock at my door, and that’s when my bad morning took an immediate turn.