Beck
“It’s really cold out, Ava. You need to put your coat and gloves back on.”
“What ‘bout you?”
“I’m working and got hot.”
“I got hot, too.”
“Ava, put on your coat,” I fussed.
I could tell by the look on her face that she wanted to protest, but I gave her a stern look, and she complied. And then, she was back to running circles around the yard. I was trying my damnedest to put together her new playset, but I was struggling. I had bolts scattered around me, and I had no idea where they went. The instructions might as well have been written in Chinese, but I was determined to get it done.
"What’s this?" Ava asked, pointing to one of the metal bars.
"That’s one of the legs, baby.” I kept working as I explained, "We’re gonna use it to keep the swing from tipping over."
“Okay.” She held her arms out and started running as if she was soaring through the clouds. "I’m gonna swing high! Like a birdie!”
I chuckled, tightening another bolt. "Okay, sweetie. I need you to come over here and help me hold this part steady.”
She raced back over, little hands gripping the edge of a beam with all her might. I pretended to struggle a bit more than necessary just to see her eyes light up when I said, "Wow, you’re strong!”
“I’m a good helper.”
“Yes, you are! I appreciate it very much."
And just like that, she was off again, darting through the yard with endless energy. I sat back and watched her for a moment and seeing her so happy made my heart swell. She was so sweet and wonderful, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. The thought had my mind drifting back to the night I told her father I was pregnant.
I was standing in the kitchen, and my hands were literally trembling as I handed him the pregnancy test. His eyes narrowed, and his voice was full of anger as he roared, “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”
“Afraid not.”
“But we were careful.”
“We weren’t careful enough.”
I was nineteen when I first started dating Trevor. We’d met in college, and we’d been dating for just over a year. He was handsome and smart, and he had an outgoing personality that drew people in. While he hadn’t completely stolen my heart, I cared a great deal about him and thought we had a pretty good thing.
I didn’t realize that I was completely wrong about him until the night I showed him the pregnancy test I’d taken. He saw those two little red lines, then looked at me and said the words that broke my heart. “You gotta get rid of it.”
“What?”
“Get rid of it, Beck.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Of course I am,” he clipped. “We’ve got no way to support a kid. Neither of us have jobs or money coming in. Hell, I haven’t even graduated yet. There’s no way I’m gonna get tied down to some kid.”
“It’s not some kid. It’s our kid.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don’t make this into something it’s not, Beck.” He glanced down at my abdomen, then repeated, “Just get rid of it, and let’s forget this ever happened.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then, we’re done.” His dark eyes grew even more intense. “I love you, Beck. You know that, but I’m not gonna piss my life away because we made some stupid mistake.”
“I don’t think this is a mistake. I think it’s anything but.”
“What? You’re actually considering having it?”
“Yes, actually I am.” I could feel my anger rising inside of me. “I know the timing isn’t great, but that doesn’t mean that...”
“You’re such an idiot.” He shook his head. “You’ve got no idea what it’s like to live in the real world.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
“I mean it, Beck. I want no part of this.”
“Understood.”
He rolled his eyes and started out of the room. “Good luck. You’re gonna need it.”
He walked out, and that was it.
He came back for his things, but he stayed true to his word. He didn’t go to any of the prenatal appointments or help buy a single outfit, bottle, or bootie. But I didn’t expect anything less.
I was on my own , and I was okay with that. I had Ava, and that was all I needed. And I couldn’t help but smile when she ran over to me with wide, hopeful eyes and asked, “Are you almost done?”
“Not even close, sweetie. But it would go a little faster if you would help.”
“Okay.”
Ava dropped her doll and rushed over to me. I was struggling to secure one of the metal brackets, so I told her, “I just need you to hold this until I get the screw in place. You think you can do that?”
“Um-hmm.”
She nodded as she held it with determination. I started turning the screw, and it popped out and fell to the grass. I reached down and grabbed it, trying once more, but once again, it wouldn’t go in. I was on the verge of giving up when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Need a hand with that?"
I turned, and my stomach took a nosedive when I saw that it was Torch.
He’d always been handsome— very handsome , but now, he wasn’t just a boy that I had a crush on. He was a man with big, broad shoulders, thick biceps, and the most beautiful green eyes I’d ever seen. He had this short, rugged beard and full, kissable lips, and his hair was tousled in this sexy way that made him look like he’d been out riding. And while it was impossible not to be attracted to him, I hadn’t forgotten all those times he’d broken my heart as a kid.
It was that hurt that brought anger to my tone as I answered, “I’ve got it.”
The words had barely left my mouth when I dropped that damn screw for the umpteenth time and couldn’t help but mutter, “ Dammit.”
“ You sure about that?”
“I said I’ve got it.”
“Oh, come on, Beck.” He stepped closer and pushed, “Stop being a stubborn ass and let me help.”
“Fine.”
He took the screwdriver from my hand, and without the slightest bit of trouble, he was able to get the screw to go in the bracket. Ava beamed up at him like he was a superhero while I wanted to punch him right in the gut.
He stepped back and looked at the part of the swing I’d managed to put together. He made a little grunt before looking down at all the pieces I’d laid out on the grass. "Got a lot to tackle here."
"Yeah, you could say that.”
“Well, let’s see if we can get this wrapped up.” He gave Ava a wink. “’Cause I’ve got a feeling someone’s ready to see how high they can swing.”
“I am!”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Torch reached down and picked up the next piece as he said, “Remember those old tire swings Stitch put up at the clubhouse?”
“Yeah, I remember them.” I rolled my eyes. “I also remember you swinging with everyone but me.”
“I swang with you.”
“No, you didn’t,” I argued. “You wouldn’t even push me.”
“Seriously?” He shook his head. “I don’t remember that.”
“Well, I do, but it’s not a big deal. I got used to it.”
“Used to what?”
“You and the girls ignoring me and treating me like a dumb kid.”
“You were six years younger than us.”
“Oh, I know.” I held a piece in place as he screwed it in. “I was reminded of it all the time, especially when we got older.”
“I had my reasons for keeping my distance.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Okay, then why don’t you explain it to me?”
He studied me for a moment, then shook his head and grumbled, “Damn. You always were bullheaded.”
“How would you know?”
“Oh, I know. I’ve always known.”
He held my gaze for a moment, then got back to work on the swing. In no time, it went from looking like a pile of rubble to an actual swing set. As we worked, I couldn’t help but steal glances at him. It was hard to be so close to him. It brought back so many memories, but something felt different.
He felt different.
I stole another glance and noted the faint lines of concentration on his face. His hands were rough and calloused, and he worked with a steady precision that felt almost considerate.
It was unnerving.
This was the same man who’d broken my heart and made me swear I'd never look back. Yet here he was, crouched down beside me, guiding the final bolt into place.
When he caught me watching, he didn’t smirk or throw some careless remark like he did back when we were kids. Instead, his eyes met mine—steady and kind, and he smiled as he said, “Almost done.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, looking away before he could see too much.
After a few more minutes, he had it all pieced together and took a step back to admire our work. “Not half bad.”
Ava sat down on one of the swings, and Torch gave her a little push. Her laugh was infectious as he pushed her higher and higher, and it wasn’t long before Torch and I were laughing right along with her. “She’s a cute kid.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“How old is she? Three? Four?”
“Four. Almost five.”
“Hmmm. So, you had her your junior year.”
“Yeah, that’s about right.”
“And her dad?”
“I already told you.” I shrugged. “He’s not in the picture.”
“But why? The guy fall off the planet or what?”
“He didn’t want to be tied down to a kid and chose to walk away.”
“So, you’ve been raising her all on your own?”
“I’ve had some help, but yeah. Pretty much.”
“I don’t get it.” His eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t you just come home?”
“I still had school.”
“And?”
Realizing that the conversation was going to a place I wasn’t ready to go, I nodded and said, “It’s getting cold. I should get her inside.”
“It’s been cold, and she doesn’t seem to mind.”
“I wanna swing, Momma.”
“I know you do, sweetie, but it’s getting late, and we need to get ready for dinner.”
“But Momma...”
“Best mind your momma. I wouldn’t want her to get mad at us.” Disappointment washed over Ava’s face when Torch stopped the swing and helped her down. He leaned over to me as he whispered, “Or she might not speak to us for the next six or seven years.”
“Torch.”
“I’ll leave you ladies to it.”
He turned and started for the back gate, but he didn’t get far before Ava shouted, “Bye, Torch!”
“Bye, kiddo.”
My heart felt heavy as I watched him disappear from our backyard and head over to his. I took hold of Ava’s hand and led her back into the house. I’d hoped that she would get to swing again later, but the weather turned, and it started to snow. And then, it snowed some more. As much as I hated it for Ava, it gave me an opportunity to get some unpacking done.
I’d been at it for hours when I heard a knock at the door. When I glanced out the window, I was surprised to find my mother standing on the front porch. Over the years, I’d had friends from school and the occasional neighbor drop by unannounced, but never my mother. Ava was napping upstairs, so I cracked the door quietly.
“Hey, Mom.” I forced a smile and stepped aside to let her in. “I didn’t know you were coming by.”
“I wasn’t really planning on it, but I thought I’d swing by and see how my girls were doing.” She took a quick glance around the living room and smiled. “Wow. You’ve been busy.”
“I’ve still got a lot to do.” I motioned my hand over at the boxes I still hadn’t gotten around to unpacking. “But I have a week or so before I start my new job, so I should be able to get it all done.”
She nodded, but the small talk faded fast. “So, you know Thanksgiving is in a couple of days.”
“I’m aware.”
I felt the old nerves rise—the ones that came whenever conversations turned back to the club, back to what I’d left behind. “Well, your father and I are hoping that you and Ava will join us for lunch over at the clubhouse.”
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m not sure I’m ready for all that.”
“I know it won’t be easy, but it would mean a lot to your father.” Her voice grew softer as she added, “You remember how much fun we used to have. Everyone would gather around, and there was always so much food. They had everything you could imagine... Turkey and stuffing, sweet potato casserole?—”
“—and Torch and Savage stealing all the pie before we’d even finished eating,” I added, surprising myself with a laugh. I’d tried to forget those years, but there were times when the good had a way of shining through the cracks.
“Exactly.” Mom giggled. “I know it’s been a long time, but it would mean a lot to have you and Ava there with us.”
“I don’t know, Mom.”
“It’s time, Beck,” Mom pressed. “You’re a part of this family, and you always will be. That’s not going to change.”
Her words struck something deep in me that I’d buried a long time ago. I tried to forget the club and everyone in it, but they hadn’t gone anywhere. They were still there, and they were still my family. And they were Ava’s, too. She wanted to know them—needed to know them, and I didn’t want to take that from her.
At the same time, I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the past.
“Think about it,” she said softly. “Just think about it.”
She leaned in to kiss my cheek, then left as quickly as she’d come.
While she had certainly given me something to think about, I still wasn’t sure I was ready for what Thanksgiving might bring with it.