Beck
“Hey, we’re here.”
“Are you excited?”
“Yeah, and a little nervous.”
With my phone still in hand, I glanced up at my rearview mirror, and my heart swelled at the sight of my precious daughter. Her reddish-blonde hair was pulled back and looked more like a bird’s nest than a ponytail, and her lips were bright red from the juice she drank at our last pitstop. Her wide, curious eyes were taking in everything around her.
My mother’s voice pulled me from my thoughts when she asked, “Nervous about what?”
“Ava... What if she doesn’t like it?”
“Ava is four. She’s going to love it because you love it.”
“I guess we will see soon enough.”
“You certainly will. Now, you two go on in and check things out. Your father and I’ll be over in a minute.”
“It’s just you guys, right? You’re not bringing anyone to help.”
“Nope. It’s just us.”
“Okay, good. I’ll see you in a few.”
I ended the call, then turned to Ava and asked, “You ready to go see our new house?”
“Hm-hmm.”
She really had no idea what I was talking about. We’d lived in an apartment over four hours away from here, and it was the only home she’d ever really known. It was my fault. I just couldn’t bring myself to come home to visit, but that had all changed. I was done running from my past and wanted to give my precious daughter the home she deserved.
As soon as I got out of the car, I walked over and opened the back door. I unbuckled Ava from her car seat and lifted her into my arms. Her eyes were wide with wonder as we made our way up to the front steps. I still couldn’t believe it. It took five years of working and going to school part-time for me to scrape up enough money for a down payment.
My parents helped a great deal. They came up to visit and begged me numerous times to just come home, but I always refused. I was studying to be a radiologist, and I was already going to the college closest to home. So, I got a job on campus and used the money I made to pay for on-campus daycare. It took some time and a lot of patience—for both me and my parents, but we got through it.
I could’ve just let Dad do what Dad does and let him take care of all the finances, but I couldn’t accept. Call it being stubborn or just plain prideful, but I needed to do it on my own. I pulled out my new key and unlocked the door, then lowered Ava’s feet to the floor and said, “Go check it out.”
She took off like a bolt of lightning, running to check out every room. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it had two bedrooms with a fully updated kitchen and a cozy living room. It also had a nice backyard with a fence and a wraparound porch that was to die for. I absolutely loved it, and I hoped Ava would love it, too.
After a few minutes, Ava came rushing back into the kitchen and asked, “Dis’ really our house?”
“Yup,” I replied with a smile. “It’s all ours.”
“But what ‘bout my room?”
“I already explained that.” I knelt in front of her and took her hand in mine. “We moved here so we could be closer to GiGi and Pop.”
She nodded, and after taking a moment to let it all sink in, the questions started rolling in. “Do we have a swing?”
“No, but we can get one.”
“With a slide?”
“Maybe.”
She blinked, not seeming to mind either way. “Can we get a dog?”
“Let’s work on unpacking first,” I said, already imagining the chaos Ava and a dog could bring together.
“Can we...”
Before she could finish her thought, Dad honked his horn, signaling their arrival. Ava and I rushed over to the front door and waited as Mom and Dad got out of the U-Haul. Dad looked exhausted from the long drive, but Mom, on the other hand, looked raring to go. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of jeans with a white T-shirt tucked in tight.
And if that wasn’t enough, she was carrying a clipboard in her hand like she was some kind of project manager. “Hey, guys.”
“Hey there, you two.”
Dad started toward us, and Ava charged over to him. He scooped her up and gave her a bear hug before nodding toward the house. “You like the new house?”
Ava nodded. “We gettin’ a dog!”
“Sounds good to me.” Dad chuckled. “How ‘bout a pony, too?”
Ava’s eyes went wide, and I shot him a look. “Hooo, wait a minute. We have no place for a pony, and I never said we were getting a dog.”
“Might be good to have the extra security.”
“I think the security system you will put in will be plenty.”
Dad had a knack for all things technical, and that included security systems. Mom wasn’t too shabby with it either, but her focus wasn’t on our security. “Oh, honey. It’s just darling. I love everything about it... Are you still thinking about painting or changing the color of the siding?”
“Maybe. I thought I would move in and get settled first.”
“Well, your father and I picked up a few samples for you to look over.”
“Easy, Mom. I haven’t even moved in yet.”
“Oh, hush. You know I’m just excited for you.”
“I’m excited, too. I would be even more excited if all that furniture in that truck would miraculously move itself into the house.”
“Only one way that’s going to happen.” Dad lowered Ava to the ground. “Let’s get to it.”
I nodded, then followed him over to the truck. He slid open the back hatch, and when I saw all the boxes and furniture, I let out a groan. “I wish Davis was here.”
“You know he’d be here if he could.”
“I know.”
My dear brother had acquired my parents’ giftedness with computers and technology, and he’d been offered an unbelievable opportunity to work with the Navy and the nuclear program. He loved what he was doing, but he couldn’t come home very often. “I just hope we’ll get to see him over the holidays.”
“He’s working on it.”
Dad handed me the first box, and the rest of the afternoon became a blur of unloading. Dad took charge of the ‘heavy lifting’ while Mom and I brought in the boxes. Ava discovered the joy of bubble wrap, and by the time we unloaded the truck, she was wearing most of it like a suit of armor, popping her way through the house.
“Ava, be careful,” I warned.
“Oh, she’s fine.” Mom opened another box and started pulling out all the kitchen stuff she’d bought. “I got you a few things.”
“I see that.”
“It’s nothing much.” She held up some new Tupperware and a fancy charcuterie board. “Just a few things I thought you might’ve forgotten.”
“When am I ever going to use a charcuterie board?”
She winked at Ava. “You’ll need it once you start hosting.”
“What’s ho-sing?” Ava asked, sounding confused.
“Something you and Mommy aren’t going to be doing any time soon,” I muttered. “I think we’ll stick to mac and cheese for now.”
“I want some mac and cheese.”
“I’ll fix some in a bit. For now, why don’t you go to your room and take your toys out of the boxes.”
“Ah, man.”
“Go on and do what your momma said,” Mom pushed. “I’ll be in there in a few minutes to help.”
Ava did as she was asked and went to her room to unbox her things while Mom and I continued unpacking the dishes. The sound of clattering plates almost drowned out the muffled conversation coming from the front yard. I recognized Dad’s deep rumble, but it was the other voice that stopped me cold. It was low, smooth, and unmistakably familiar. I froze, and a shiver slipped up my spine.
I’d spent years training myself not to think about that voice, and now, it was at my front door.
I knew I would eventually see him.
I just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.
“Hey, Beck!” Dad shouted, jolting me from my spiraling thoughts. “We’re bringing in the sofa.”
The words had barely left his mouth when they appeared. Dad was carrying one end of my worn-out sofa, and Torch was carrying the other. The sight of him brought a lump to my throat.
Torch adjusted his grip, eyes locking on mine for the briefest second. “Hey, Torch.”
He gave me a nod—just a nod, like I hadn’t spent my entire adolescence mooning over him and he hadn’t broken my heart when he completely blew me off.
“Thanks for helping.” It came out strangled and barely audible, so I forced myself to say, “I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” His lips curved slightly—a flicker of something that might have been amusement or indifference, but I couldn’t tell which. “I could tell the ol’ man was struggling.”
“Just a bit,” Dad chuckled.
I hadn’t laid eyes on Torch since I left for college, and he was even more handsome than I remember. He was taller with broad shoulders, and he still had those piercing green eyes that always seemed to see right through you—or, in my case, not at all.
His hair was still dark but longer, falling just past his ears, and there was a scruff along his jawline that hadn’t been there before. The boy I once knew was gone, and a strong, confident, beautiful man had taken his place.
I leaned back against the counter, trying to steady my breath as Dad huffed his way through the doorway.
Concerned, Mom called out, “Oh, Mike! Be careful.”
“I got it. I got it.” Dad shook his head, and his voice was strained as he said, “We need to get you some better furniture, Kiddo.”
“My furniture is fine.”
I kept my eyes trained on Torch. I tried to look away, but I just couldn’t stop staring at him. It had been so long. I thought I’d moved on and put all the childhood theatrics behind me, but seeing him now made me realize how wrong I’d been.
They centered it against the main wall in the living room, then Torch lowered his end of the sofa and brushed his hands off on his jeans. He straightened once the sofa was in place, then glanced around at the half-unpacked boxes and bubble wrap. “Nice place.”
I swallowed hard, forcing a nod. “Thanks.”
“It’s been a while.”
“Yeah, it has.”
“Didn’t realize you were moving back.”
“It was a last-minute kind of thing.”
He gave me a nod, and then he turned back to Dad. They spoke for a minute, then Dad slapped him on the back, laughing about something he’d said. I, on the other hand, didn’t laugh. Instead, I stood there, feeling like that teenage girl all over again—helplessly, hopelessly invisible.
I just wanted him to go.
I wanted to forget that I’d even seen his stupid, handsome face, and I thought I was going to get my wish until Ava came barreling down the hall. She ran straight to Dad and screeched, “D’eres a spider in my room!”
“A spider! Oh, man!” Dad reached down and lifted her into his arms. “Need me to come take care of it?”
Ava nodded, and Dad immediately turned to Torch. “Duty calls.”
Dad carried Ava down the hall, and the second they disappeared into her room, Torch turned to me and asked, “Who was that?”
“That was Ava.” I cleared my throat. “My daughter.”
“Your what?”
“My daughter.” I stiffened my back and took a step towards him. “I had her while I was away.”
“You had a kid?” I could see the wheels turning in his head as he added, “Big has a granddaughter?”
“Yes.”
“And her father?”
“He’s not in the picture.” I shrugged. “It’s a long story.”
“I’m sure it is.” His eyes narrowed. “How come none of us have heard it?”
“I asked my folks not to say anything.” I shrugged. “He didn’t like it, but Dad only told those he thought should know and no one else.”
“So, you bust out of here and go off to college, cut us all off, and never even think to tell us that...” He threw his hands up and groaned. “Ah, forget it.”
Without saying anything more, Torch turned and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. “Well, that went well.”
“I don’t know what you expected.” There was no missing the annoyance on Mom’s face as she added, “You kept something very important from the people who loved you most. And just so you know, it was very hard for your father and me to keep Ava a secret from the brothers. He’s so proud of her and wanted to share that with them.”
“Well, he didn’t keep it a secret from everyone. You told Stitch and Wren. And Cotton and Cass, and Maverick and Henley. I’m sure there are others,” I argued. “Regardless, this was something that happened to me, and I’m sorry if I didn’t want everyone to know about it.”
“I understand that, but...”
Before she could say anything more, Dad called out, “Hey, Josie! We need you back here!”
“Coming!” Mom started past me but stopped long enough to say, “There are going to be a lot of hurt feelings over this, Beck. You might as well get prepared for it.”
I wanted to ask her about my feelings and why they didn’t seem to matter. But I already knew the answer. Dad was a member of Satan’s Fury, and his brothers and the club reigned supreme. For the most part, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, it was nice. We had a family who always looked out for one another,
But when you grow up with a massive crush on Dad’s best friend’s son, and he doesn’t even know you are alive, it tends to make you feel insecure and guarded. The whole thing was humiliating. I didn’t want him or anyone else to know that he’d broken my heart, so I feigned a smile and pretended all was right in the world. No one seemed to notice that it was all a ruse.
Not my parents.
Not my friends.
No one.
So, when I got the opportunity to get out, I did.
I went off to college and made a new life for myself. All was going well until I discovered I was pregnant. It was a time when I should’ve wanted to turn to my family and friends, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want them to know anything about me.
But once Ava started to get older, she started to ask questions about her family and why none of them lived nearby. That’s when I realized that my past heartbreaks didn’t have to be her heartbreaks, and I decided to move back home. I felt good about my decision until Torch walked in.
Our little exchange made me realize just how hard this whole thing was going to be, and I wasn’t sure I was prepared for it. I wasn’t sure my folks were either, so I went down the hall to ask them their thoughts. But when I got to Ava’s room, Dad was on the floor with his legs in the air, and Ava was propped up on his feet, zooming through the air like an airplane.
“You’re going to throw your back out doing that.”
“I’m fine,” Dad argued. “Besides, she’s light as a feather.”
“If you say so.” I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed with Mom. “Did you take care of the spider?”
“We sure did, and it was a good thing I was here.” Ava giggled as Dad lifted her up even higher. “He was a nasty little booger.”
I laughed as I told him, “I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”
“Me either. It’s a good thing Torch lives so close.” Dad lowered Ava to the floor and pulled himself up. “Something like that comes up and I’m not around, you can just get him to give you a hand.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, looking back and forth between him and Mom.
“He lives right next door.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I gasped. “ Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just did.” He and Mom took hold of Ava’s hands and led her towards the door. “Sucks when people don’t tell you stuff, huh?”
Mom gave me a knowing look as they walked out of the room. Feeling as if the rug had just been ripped from under my feet, I sat back on the bed with a sigh. Damn. Karma can be a real pain in the ass.