Page 31

CHAPTER 30

MAX

I head home after breakfast the next morning, but before going to work, I decide to walk down to the beach. It’s cold today, but I don’t care. Tossing on a hoodie, jeans, and some boots, I brave the cold to walk the short distance to the sand. It’s not as foggy today, so I’m able to make out the mountains in the distance that are covered in trees.

One side of the town is forest, the other is the ocean, and it almost makes it feel secluded. Like no one could get in or out because they would have to navigate the forest or cross the ocean. Maybe that’s why I feel safe here.

It’s not reality, obviously, anyone can drive in or out of here, but the illusion makes me feel better. Even when I consider the fact that I’m still here with the danger prowling all around me.

I sit on the sand, not caring that I’m going to have to take a shower before going into work. I stretch my legs out in front of me, and lean back on my hands. Running my fingers through the cool sand, I let it ground me as the waves break against the shore. I let it all soak in. The smell, the feeling, the freedom.

When I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding, it feels like I’m letting go of so much.

“What’re you doing?” a deep, familiar voice asks and my heart rate kicks up.

I turn slightly and see Adam standing about a foot away from me, all dark and broody against the beautiful scene behind him.

“Enjoying the beach. What’re you doing? I didn’t think you guys were back yet.” I take in his T-shirt with its sleeves ripped off and shorts, knowing it’s way too cold to be wearing that.

“We came back early this morning, and I always run out here before heading to the gym,” he answers flatly.

I nod, wondering if Caine is going to pop out of nowhere, because I’m sure it’ll only be a matter of time. I’m unsure of what to say—something that seems to happen when I’m around him—and the words that come out are, “Cardio is good.”

“It is, and it’s important when it comes to MMA. Your stamina has to stay up.”

I don’t think it’s his intention, but for some reason the way he says that feels like an innuendo. Or it’s because I’m still stuck on how Drew fucked me until I woke up. But hearing him talk about stamina makes me think of his . And that’s when I really look at him.

Obviously, I find Adam attractive. He has a body that’s honed by years of fighting and working out. The salt and pepper in his dark hair makes him look mature, but not old. His tattoos are on full display, and they seem to go on forever. The more I look, the more I find in the artwork covering every inch of available skin that shows.

My eyes are drawn to the snake on his neck again, still fascinated by the way it looks when he speaks and when he swallows. I don’t have any tattoos, but maybe I should get some, as a part of my new life. Something small, something that represents me.

“If you ever want to join me on a run, let me know,” he offers, pulling my eyes back to his. I realize I never said anything and have just been staring at him. My cheeks heat, but I hope he thinks that the pink tinge is just from the cold.

“I like different activities for cardio,” I respond and immediately realize how that sounded. Clearly, so does he because the side of his mouth kicks up in a smirk.

“Anything you’d like to share?” The humor is evident in his tone, and it takes me back a bit. I don't think I’ve ever seen him joke around. He’s been serious, stoic, and kind of scary, and seeing him like this throws me off.

“I, um, dance. Well, I used to. Sometimes I still do. And I used to run a little bit.” I don’t tell him that it was running away from my ex. Or that I would be forced to run on a treadmill by my mom, and that even when I would beg and plead for her to let me stop, she would just turn it up and tell me how much weight I’ve gained.

I don’t think I ever gained even a pound while living with her. If she could see me now, she would lose her shit. I’ve filled out in a way I’m really enjoying, and I can feel my strength increasing from all the training.

Adding in pole dancing will only make me stronger.

“Well, if you ever want to start again, we can add it in as a part of your training,” he offers, the serious aura back.

“Maybe, but I don’t think I can handle running on this.” I pick up a fistful of sand, letting it run through my fingers.

“You’ll get used to it.”

“I think I’d rather run on the sidewalk, or like normal dirt.” I shrug.

And for some reason that makes his eyes darken slightly, his eyes run over me, and I suppress the shiver that wants to take over. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but clearly, it’s something that should make me worried or afraid. Yet, my thighs are clenching together, reminding me of the soreness that’s still there from Drew.

“The offer stands, wherever you want to run.” He lets the words linger between us. I can’t help where my mind goes once again, even as he continues his jog along the beach and I’m left here, staring after him.

Why does my mind wander to what it would be like to be chased by a man like him? Being trapped underneath him, the dirt, sticks, and leaves would press into my face while he dug his fingers into my hair, fucking it up while I struggled. But he wouldn't let me get away. Once I was caught, I'd be helpless, and he would growl how much he wanted me into my ear.

Fuck, Caine has ruined me.

That’s what this is—he’s altered what I feel like I want, what I need for sex, because he hasn’t given me a choice, and now? Now, I’m fantasizing about the fucking coach that’s training me to defend myself against a man like Caine, doing the same things to me.

I know I’ve lost my mind, but maybe I don’t want to find it again. Maybe this is exactly what I want, and I just shouldn’t fight my desires anymore.

Maybe I should take my power back and let it happen under my terms. Even if it includes fighting back.