Page 23

CHAPTER 22

MAX

S omething is off, I know it as soon as I start to wake up. My body is cold, which is weird because I wouldn’t have kicked my blankets off, since I always burrow into them. I reach out blindly, trying to grab them to cover myself so I can fall back into a deep sleep, but it’s not just the blanket that’s missing. I start to wake up a bit more and realize my shirt is pushed up over my chest which is strange—I don’t think I’ve ever done that in my sleep before.

Reaching up to tug the fabric back down, I feel something foreign on me. Hardened…sticky… what the fuck?

My eyes shoot open like I’m going to see the reason for this standing in my room, but I don’t. It does confirm my suspicion though. Caine was here. His cum is on me. I know it was him.

I let out an annoyed scream, jumping out of bed, ripping off my clothes, and getting into the shower before it even has a chance to heat up. I scrub my body until it’s practically raw. I continue to mumble threats to the man that clearly has a death wish.

After I finish cleaning myself up, I throw on a hoodie, leggings, and low-cut boots before storming out of my house. I head straight to Uncaged, because I’m fucking done.

I know it’s because he saw me with Drew, and I don’t give a shit. He doesn’t have a right to me or my body. Drew was rough, and I loved every single second of it. Caine can know now that if I’m making a choice on who gets to have my body, it’s not him.

When I bust in the front doors of the gym, the only man I see is Coach Adam standing behind the desk at the front. He just raises an eyebrow at me. My words get caught in my throat for a second, seeing how his bulky arms are exposed in a cut off shirt. The sides are completely open, showing off the tattoos that cover him from the snake on his neck, down his arms and hands, and seem to extend over his entire torso.

“Can I help you?” he finally asks, which makes me realize I’ve just been standing here staring at him.

“Where’s the big asshole?” I snap.

Now he looks slightly amused. “Which one?”

Fair question.

“Caine,” I practically growl, annoyed that I’m having to say his name out loud at all.

“Not here yet.” He folds his arms across his chest. “Why are you looking for him?”

I hesitate, not sure how much to tell him. I should tell him everything, right? Maybe then he will kick him out of the gym. He’ll probably tell me to go to the police and file a report.

Then I remember the reality of my situation and realize that he knows Caine a lot better than he knows me. He would probably take his side over mine, think that I’m lying and all of a sudden, I’m the town loon.

“He left something at my house,” I say instead of explaining that he’s taken advantage of me three times now. Or that I’ve enjoyed it.

He looks amused again, and I’m regretting coming here. “What did he leave? I thought you were seeing Drew.”

My mouth opens, but nothing comes out because I don’t know what to say. It’s not like I can say the thing he left behind was his cum on my body while I was sleeping. Great, not only am I about to be the town loon, but instead I’m going to be the town slut, too.

“I’m not seeing anyone,” I answer honestly and now he looks at me like I’m lying. “You know what, never mind. I’ll figure it out myself.”

I turn to leave, shaking my head, but he calls out my name. I hesitate before turning around, because I’m sure he’s about to laugh in my face or something.

“I’m not sure what your situation is, and I don’t really care. But I know these guys and if you want to have some extra training time without them here, just one on one, let me know.”

Again, my mouth opens, and nothing comes out at his offer. I just nod before turning and leaving. That made it sound like he knows how Caine is, and he wants to…what? Help me defend myself? I guess I was right about him siding with Caine.

But the extra training couldn’t hurt, and while Adam may be prickly as well, he doesn’t seem like a complete psycho. Maybe I’ll take him up on that offer. If anything, to just add to my list of things to piss off the man that keeps sneaking into my house.

“Maybe,” I finally answer. The adrenaline is coming down as I walk out of the gym.

I decide to do something I haven’t done enough of since moving here, I go to the beach.

It’s early and cold, so there aren’t many people here. I’ve seen the advertisements for this town in the summer, it looks so bright and happy. There are events and fun things to do, but right now, in the dead of winter, the layer of fog makes it impossible to see too far in the distance. The chill in the air is heightened by the ocean breeze as I walk closer to it.

Toeing off my shoes, my bare feet sink into the cold sand with every step I take. There are remnants of ashes in the sand, probably from bonfires last night, and I carefully avoid stepping on any charred wood pieces. When I finally find a clear spot, I toss my shoes onto the ground and sit next to them, hugging my knees to my chest.

I watch as the tide comes in, how the waves break before reaching shore. The clouds above me threaten to rain any minute, but I don’t care. I want to feel it, to let the chill seep down into my bones. The quiet surrounding me is peaceful, but with peace comes memories. That’s when they choose to haunt me the most.

“ Why the fuck would you tell me that?” Carson snaps and it immediately makes me cower deeper into the leather chair he has in his office.

I’m not even sure why he has this chair, it’s not like anyone comes in here.

“Well, because my mom said I should tell you everything I want, and that it would be easier on our marriage.” I feel stupid even saying the words and my voice trails off. I knew I shouldn’t have told him this. I knew he would judge me.

He scoffs. “She wouldn’t say that if she knew her daughter was a fucking freak. Are you really that much of a slut that you’d want me to…what? Chase you around, hold you down, or tie you up to fuck you? That’s fucking disgusting, Maxine.”

I sink even lower. I knew it had been a long shot, but I thought maybe bringing up sex with Carson and sharing what I want might actually have been something he would’ve liked to talk about. He always complains that he wants me to fuck him more, and yet this has only made me feel worse about my fantasies.

“Never mind, it was a dumb idea.” I shake my head, starting to stand up and wanting to go to bed. Alone.

“Yeah, it fucking was,” his voice echoes from behind me as I try to leave as quickly as possible. “Don’t ever talk about that shit again. And make sure you get your hair done before the engagement party this weekend; it looks like shit.”

I don’t respond to him—there’s nothing for me to say and if I do, I’ll just end up crying. Even if I scream at him, the tears will fall, and it’ll only make things worse.

I know I need to leave. That I need to get out. I need a plan.

I hardly notice the silent tears streaming down my cheeks as I stare straight ahead at the waves lapping at the beach. I wipe them away, refusing to give that man or anyone from my past anymore of my pain or energy.

I got out. I made a plan, and I followed through and made it out.

Still, I wish I felt safe, but I don’t. The danger I feel now…it’s a different danger, it’s almost a wanted danger. I crave it. And maybe that’s why I remembered that conversation with Carson about some of my sexual fantasies.

It doesn’t slip by me that some guy I barely knew was able to fulfill a fantasy I suppressed better than my “fiancé” ever could. My mind is a fucking mess, and I just want peace. I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath, inhaling in the cool salty air and letting it fill my lungs before letting it back out.

I’m finally in charge of my own body, my own life. Everything is mine for the first time ever, and that’s what I hold on to. And I’ll never go back.

Work isn’t as busy tonight, which I’m thankful for. I feel like everything that’s been happening has exhausted me physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, it’s nice to not have a chaotic shift filled with assholes tonight.

Danner’s here, as she usually is, and I can’t help but think it’s because she’s really trying to be a friend, which I should probably accept. I just don’t exactly know how. I’ve never had a friend before. I wasn’t allowed. My parents, mostly my mom, would tell me that I couldn’t have friends over and then would poison my mind with reasons why I shouldn’t have them in my life.

My dad never cared enough to say anything about it.

Carson didn’t want me to be close with anyone, because I could go to them and reveal how shitty he was to me. I’ve spent time learning about abusive partners and how isolation is one of their main tactics. Of course, at the time I had no idea that’s what he was doing. I’m ashamed at how sheltered I was, and it didn’t take much to expose the truth about the hell I was living in.

“So, how is it training at the gym?” Danner asks after I finish helping the other person at the bar.

I shrug. “It’s fine.”

She looks at me like she knows there’s more. She doesn’t know about any of my run-ins with the guys. One somewhat willingly, the other, not so much.

“Have you beat them up yet? Please tell me you’ve punched someone in the face.”

That makes me laugh softly, shaking my head. “Attempted to, but not quite.”

“Is there a reason I’ve seen Caine staring at you like you’re his next meal?”

My heart rate kicks up at her mentioning him and that she’s even noticed him watching me. But I do what I do best, deny, deny, deny.

“Probably because he looks at everyone that way right before he kills them and stores them in his basement freezer.”

“True.” She chuckles. “Now, what’s your excuse for Drew also being interested in you?”

I look at her with wide eyes, and she looks like she knows more than she’s letting on.

I shake my head. “What are you talking about? I think you’re seeing things.”

“Mhmm.” She sips her dirty Shirley. “All I know is that I’ve lived here my whole life. I’ve seen a lot of things, including when those two came into town. And I’ve never seen them watch someone the way that they watch you.”

“Are you a private investigator or something?” I question, jokingly. “Wait, what do you do for work?”

The second important “d” after deny is divert and that’s my plan B.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She winks.

The bar door swings open roughly, and I half expect to see one of the guys from the gym walk in, but instead it’s a middle aged man with a beer gut in a police uniform who looks around like someone’s pissed in his cheerios. I’ve dealt with guys like this when they come in here, and it means I’m about to get annoyed.

“How can I help you?” I ask him, and he looks over, his eyes trailing up my body and I fold my arms across my chest instinctually, because the vibes I’m getting from him are concerning.

“Just looking for someone,” he grunts.

“Who?” Danner snarks and he narrows his eyes at her.

“Someone not here.”

“Well, if you let us know who it is then maybe we could let you know if they show up Officer…?”

He doesn’t say anything in response before leering at me before leaving.

“Fucking prick,” I murmur, not sure what that was about or who he thought he was.

“We call him Officer Doogie.” Danner says, deadpan.

I choke out a laugh. “Why?”

“His name is Doug and he’s an asshole, so…” She shrugs.

“Do you know what that was about?”

“Probably Adam. Doogie seems to think he’s always up to something.”

I scoff, thinking about how Adam’s probably not the guy he should be after. “Well, is he?”

“Eh, who knows. Probably not, unless being incredibly good looking becomes illegal.”

I cough out a laugh, shaking my head at her comment because I’m not about to agree with her. Though, I’ve never had a thing for older guys, especially ones that are so…rugged. But Adam is hot.

“Speaking of, did anything happen with you and that other guy from the group?” I redirect the conversation.

“Absolutely not. Never have and never will.” She fiddles slightly with her drink, which makes me think there’s more there that she’s not telling me.

“Been there,” I say under my breath. And we see how that has worked out. Looking for a distraction, I decided to take a chance. “Hey, we should hang out sometime, but not here.”

She perks up. “We should. We could have a movie night or an old school slumber party where I can share all the deep dark secrets of this place that I can’t share where others can overhear.” Danner looks around like she’s scoping the place out, and I chuckle.

“Sure, I mean, I’ve never been to a slumber party before. I wouldn’t know what they’re like, but sure.”

She rears back. “What? What kind of childhood did you have that didn’t include slumber parties?”

I huff out a breath, if only she knew. “A shitty one. Count me in, though.”

“Just tell me when and where and I’ll make sure you have the best first slumber party ever. It’ll be even better than having one as a kid because now we can have booze.”

I bark out a laugh, shaking my head and getting back to work. I can’t deny that might end up being the perfect distraction.