Page 9

CHAPTER 9

Rodney

The kiss Andry gives me sends shivers up my spine. I fall into his touch, captivated that this guy wants me like this, that he would so proudly proclaim me in a public place.

We’re on school grounds where anyone could see. The way he kisses me, it's like he doesn't even care. Like he wants them to actually catch us.

I've always been the dirty little secret or the side piece. Guys who approach me only want to use me for my connections to my brother or for my brain. They never really care about what I want, much less being seen with me in public aside from the library.

Lately, I’ve been dreaming of a relationship like my brother has with Raymond. Aside from their dynamic, the two of them are masters of polite PDA, if that's even a thing. It's like they can't keep their hands off each other, yet they're respectful of other people as well.

They're not the type of couple that is caught with their tongues down their throats, and their picture plastered all over the tabloids. It's a small touch of the hand or a guiding motion with a palm pressed to a lower back. It's being tucked into someone's chest when they're feeling overwhelmed.

I want that.

I want it so bad.

And I feel like Andry might be the person who could give it to me.

I'm still a bit terrified.

He’s an athlete. A college athlete, meaning his frontal lobe is not fully developed, and he's surrounded by idiots who likely want him to treat me the way they do. That thought alone has me pulling back from the kiss.

Andry smiles down at me as if I hung the moon. As if he's happy just to be near me.

I smile softly, then motion towards the parking lot. “Are you ready to go? I figured I'd drive us.”

“Yes, little genius. You drive.”

He tucks me underneath his arm, just like I was thinking about, and walks with me across to the parking lot.

A few people give us looks. I'm sure they already know who he is. I doubt they're looking at me because I’m usually invisible.

People know who I am.

They have classes with me, or they know of me. The freak prodigy who skipped so many grades, who started college when he wasn’t even a legal adult yet. I had my face plastered in more articles than I care to think about.

No matter which one of us they know, and even if they don't, it's obvious that we're not your typical couple. Heck, I don't even know if there are any out couples on campus.

When we get to the car, he opens my door and makes sure that I'm in and buckled before he goes around to get in on his side.

I'm gaping at him when he drops down into his seat. No one does anything like that for me. Not only am I a full-grown adult man who can take care of himself, but also it's a caring act.

One that a Daddy or a Dominant would do for their submissive.

Just the thought alone has my cock trying to harden. It's going to be a very uncomfortable drive if I can't get a hold of myself.

I push down the feelings and shift into drive. During the ride, I let my classical music station play. It calms me a bit. Andry doesn't seem to mind either.

In fact, I see him drumming his fingers on his leg as if keeping tune with the instruments.

When we pull up to Ma's house, he sighs as if the sight of it alone is comforting to him.

"You have a beautiful home," he says.

I smile brightly because it is beautiful.

“I love it too. Aries, my brother, wanted to go even bigger than this, but Ma stopped him. She refuses to live in a big, empty mausoleum as she puts it.”

He chuckles, then climbs out of the car. He gives me a stern gaze, saying “Wait,” before shutting his door.

I freeze, his words commanding me even as rational thought dictates that I can do whatever I want. Andry opens my door, reaching in to take my hand to pull me out.

I grab my bag, but he leaves his in the car as we walk up to the door.

Since Ma would make fun of me for knocking, I open it up as I call out, "I'm home."

I drop my bag by the door and kick off my shoes. Andry follows suit, then holds my hand as I lead him into the kitchen where delicious smells are pouring from.

Ma has clearly been working hard today. Granted, she does it every day. The woman loves to feed people, and if I wasn't coming home with an empty stomach, she would be bossy enough and demand I take some over to my brother and his boyfriend.

She'd feed the neighbors, too, if they were the type to accept her offerings. Most have learned that one yes from them means a lifetime of it.

I feel bad for Ma sometimes in that way because she was really the type of woman meant to have an entire herd of children. She could feed a football team and not even blink at the challenge.

"Oh Carino, you're home," she says as she throws the towel in her hand over her shoulder and rushes over to me.

She pulls me into a hug, pressing a kiss to my head. I laugh softly at the affection. Then I freeze when I realize she's spotted who's with me.

“What a handsome young man we have here. Who are you?”

“I am Andry,” the man behind me says.

Not once does he let go of my hand as he says it. Of course, my mother zones in on the connection.

Andry dips his head politely, then says, "Your home is lovely, and it smells exquisite, much like the chef."

Ma giggles.

She actually giggles like a schoolgirl.

It's the funniest thing I've seen in ages.

Not even Aries in his goofy ways gets her going like this.

She presses her hand to her chest, then fans her face with the other. “ Hombre encantador . I can see why my son has been drawn to you. Are you two…?”

I go to answer but a squeeze at my hand cuts me off.

“I am hoping to date him, but as one should, I’m working to win his heart.”

My jaw drops, and I turn my head to take Andry in completely. He's not joking. There's no glimmer in his eye to suggest that he's teasing me as he stares at me firmly.

He does want to date me.

He is trying to win my heart.

Why those two thoughts don't compute is, well to be honest, it makes sense. It shouldn’t, yet it does.

He’s so different from me. Not only is he from another country with different customs, but he's tall and built and athletically gifted.

He could have anything he wants, anyone he wants, but he's chosen me.

Part of me wonders if it's the timing. Am I the first person who's caught his eye? Much like the concept of first dibs, I'm the one that he wants to pursue. Will he ditch me and go towards the next shiny object the minute they pass by?

I frown at the thought. Andry reaches up and presses his fingers against the scrunched part of my face.

“It's okay little genius. I know it's hard to understand. Give it time.”

His words have Ma sighing. Then she rushes over to continue cooking whatever she's working on.

There are so many pots and bowls going I can't make sense of it. Then again, I never really do because trying to figure out a meal before she's completely done with it is pointless.

The woman keeps her secrets in the kitchen. Her recipes are definitely a part of that.

By the time she finishes, and we sit down to eat, she's asked Andry a litany of questions about himself. I now know where he grew up, how he started to play hockey, and what his family is like.

“I'm sorry they weren't accepting,” Ma tells him. “It's sad to have to live in secret. You won't feel that way here. You can consider me your American mom.”

There's a tilt to her lips that she says that cheeky woman knows exactly what she's doing.

“I would like that very much, Ma.” he replies, his accent making the word into something different.

I can't fight my smile anymore. I know I have to look like I'm losing my mind with how wide it is. I can't help it.

He's just so adorable.

The honesty with which he answers Ma and engages in conversation with her, asking things about her in return, is intoxicating. I've always wanted a partner who could interact with my family.

My mind wanders to my brother and Raymond. Would they get along with him just as well? I'm sure Aries would tease him a bit, but then the two of them would instantly bond over being athletes.

And Raymond is so sweet. Everyone loves him. He’s not one of those people that you could hate. His shy nature will probably make Andry a bit softer in his approach.

I have no doubt that he would be welcome as well.

Then I catch myself.

Why am I thinking of him with my family this way? Why am I going into thoughts of something that can't happen?

No matter what he says about wanting to be with me or wanting to get a chance to date me, it's not really possible. Like I said, we're from two different worlds and his team, the men he lives with, are not going to be happy with him dating me.

They're going to give us shit all the time. They might not give him the best passes to play either. Their bullying has no end.

Andry mentioned earlier that he wants to play professionally. He's hoping to get a spot on the Bears since they're a local team.

I wonder if that's due to liking Bellport or if there's some other reason he'd like to stay local.

My heart aches at the idea that it might be because of me, that maybe he wants to stay close to me and my family and the place that I’ve called home my whole life.

But no. It can’t be that.

It’s far too soon for such a decision to be based on me alone.

If the team doesn't work with him and tries to go against him, he'll never make it that far. He'll be stuck having only experienced college hockey, all because he went after someone that's not his true forever. There's also the issue of there not being that many out players.

Bellport is the exception to the rule. It's still not a large number.

You've got Brutal Bishop, who was the first one to open up. More recently the coach, Luke Swift, has come out dating his temporary assistant, Timothy. It made local news, and even a few national sites picked up the story because they all were confused as to how many people came out.

Oh, and then there's Leon, Maddox, and Jake, the throuple that threw everyone for a loop.

Okay, so maybe there are more out players than I thought. And maybe Bellport is the place for him to be.

I still feel as if I'm hindering him in some way.

We're not even official and there's this burden on me, this desire to make things right for him, to give him a fighting chance.

Can he have that if he's dating me? Will the other guys even allow it? I hate to say allow because that makes it seem like they have control over us. In a way, they kind of do.

I've been at their mercy for years. Now Andry's at their mercy in a different way.

By the time dinner finishes, I've pushed myself into a dark place. My smile is still there, though it's brittle. My heart's not in it anymore because I know that at the end of this night, no matter what happens, I have to give him up.

I have to let Andry go because being with me isn't in his future.

He's going to be a superstar on the ice. The hotshot player who comes in and sweeps through the NFL, breaking records left and right. If he plays for Bellport, Brutal Bishop will take him under his wing and Maddox and Leon will show him how they play.

He'll have a family. He'll build relationships and one day, he'll find someone to love.

Someone who isn't me.

The thought sobers me enough that I remain quiet. I can't think about it too much more or I'll start crying. And I have no doubt the big man beside me will take my tears and go on a rampage to fight whatever invisible enemy there is.

He would have been the best Daddy.