Page 7

CHAPTER 7

Rodney

Kiss.

He’s kissing me.

Andry. Is. Kissing. Me.

What kind of crazy drugs were in that drink I had earlier? That’s the only logical explanation for why the heat of his mouth covers mine, why I feel like I’m falling and flying all at once.

I arch closer, eager to continue this delusion. No one wake me up, please. I’ll come back… whenever.

It’s too good, too perfect to not continue.

Who would have thought my first kiss would be on the side of a house at a college party? Not me, that’s for sure.

Being the youngest person in your grade by multiple years makes it hard to build relationships. Friends were hard to come by and dating even worse.

I’ve never complained. It’s not my style.

And besides, it wouldn’t really get me anywhere.

Except now, I’m wondering if I should have paid more attention. Are all kisses like this?

All-encompassing.

Life-altering.

Arousing.

I don’t know what to do or where to touch. I only know it can’t stop. Not anytime soon.

Far quicker than I’d like, Andry pulls his mouth away from mine. He presses another soft kiss to my lips, then leans his forehead against mine.

Though I’m not super short, he still has to bend down to reach me. I feel guilty for all of a second until I realize he’s shaking.

“Are you ok?” I whisper.

Did I do something wrong? Is this really bad?

Or worse, is he laughing at me? Was this all part of the prank, and I’ll have to live with the memory of my first romantic encounter being destroyed?

When he leans back enough for the low lighting to illuminate his features, I nearly gasp. He’s smiling.

It completely changes his features. Gone is the hard edge I’d seen before. He’s gorgeous and open. All bright, with a magnetism the school would be stupid not to use to draw in fans.

“I am not ok. I am, how you say, excellent. Amazing. Stupendush,” he says with a thicker accent. I can tell he’s teasing me from the way he smiles.

“Stupendous.” I over enunciate the word to show him I can play along.

“Yes! That’s what I am.”

I giggle at the excited way he agrees with me. It’s been an odd night. One I doubt I’ll ever forget.

Even if he turns out to be a royal douche-noodle, then I’ll have tonight and all the joy it’s brought me. He can’t take that away.

My phone dings before either of us can speak again. I look down to see a text from Yaz.

Yaz: Party is a bust. The girl showed up with her boyfriend. UGHHHHHH. Save me. I want to leave.

I frown at the screen. How am I meant to leave him here when I want to explore this thing more? It feels real. And if it’s not, then leaving will end the illusion.

“What’s wrong?” he asks sharply.

Looking back up at him, I shrug. “My friend is ready to go. The person she came to flirt with is dating someone else. I need to get her out of here before she drowns herself in booze.”

Andry nods. “Do you need me to walk back with you two?”

“Oh!” I hadn’t considered that option.

“I don’t mind it. You need a good protector.”

“That won’t be an issue. We parked pretty close by. I’ll make sure she gets back and then I’ll go home too.”

His frown tells me he isn’t a fan of this plan. It doesn’t matter because there is zero chance of him being able to ride with us. Yaz would embarrass me to no end. That or she’d interrogate Andry the entire drive. Neither feels like a good idea.

“Text me when you’re home?”

I startle at the question after having gone so deep into my own hypothetical situation.

“Of course. I’ll let you know I’m home safe if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” he replies firmly.

There’s no room to misinterpret what he’s asking of me. To further prove his point, he presses one more firm kiss against my lips, then pulls me from the wall and straightens my clothes.

“Now you’ll look the same as before. Go to your friend before I take you to my bed instead.”

I shiver at the image his words paint. It sounds like a much better option than hearing Yaz complain about her missed opportunity. Although, going to his bed would mean having to let him know I’m clueless about what happens in said bed.

Sure, I know the basics. The practice of said acts is not something I’m familiar with.

Another obstacle would be where his room is. If he lives with the other athletes, there’s no way I’m going to go there with him. I can’t risk running into anyone during a walk of shame. They’d probably accuse me of seducing Andry or some shit.

With a shake of my head, I clear the runaway thoughts.

“I’m going. Thank you for tonight,” I tell him genuinely.

He doesn’t move or reply, and I take that to mean he’s keeping himself from continuing this back and forth. I doubt I’d ever make it to Yaz if he said more of those arousing words.

Leaving him behind feels wrong. Yet, with every step I take, I also feel emboldened. Maybe there is more to this particular hockey player. Maybe not all of them are the gigantic assholes I’ve known them to be.

* * *

Yaz is beside herself at the news her crush is unavailable. She rants at me the whole way back to her apartment.

“Can you believe she had a boyfriend? I’ve never seen her with him on campus at all. Could it be new? What if I’m losing my gaydar abilities?”

I laugh so hard I nearly drive into a ditch. That would suck considering I share this car with Ma. She’d never let me live it down.

“I doubt you’ll find out now since you’re so upset. It’s not like you can just ask her. Not unless you intend to become her friend.”

“Are you suggesting I play the long game here?”

I shrug. “Not really suggesting anything. Only curious why it matters to you so much. Usually, you get over these crushes quickly and move along. Why is she different?”

“It’s not that she’s all that different. I just… well, I want to have a person, you know. I want someone to spend time with and have all those romantic moments.”

We get to a red light, which gives me the chance to turn to look at her. Her face is as serious as she gets without crossing into anger territory.

“Commitment, Yaz? A full-fledged relationship? I didn’t know you wanted one.”

“Of course I do. Everyone does.”

I snort. “Not me.”

It’s a lie. I’d accept a relationship offer if I felt the person truly wanted me, if they truly saw me for who I was.

Humans aren’t meant to be alone all the time. We are built to socialize and explore life. I haven’t had a big urge to do so until now.

Wonder why that is.

The errant thought has my mind going back to half an hour ago when I was pressed against a wall with Andry’s tongue down my throat.

Oh, yeah.

That could definitely be the reason.

“Thanks for coming tonight at least. You disappeared for a while there. Everything ok?”

“Yes!” I shout far too loudly. “I mean, it wasn’t my scene, but I didn’t hate it. I went outside to get away from the sea of sweat and beer.”

I have no clue if she’s bought my excuse. Yaz is notorious for sniffing out lies. It’s not as if I do it often anyway, hence why my poker face isn’t the best.

“Whatever. You’re being weird. I don’t have the energy to weed out the truth. I’m going to bed,” she tells me as she exits the car to go into her building. I wait until she’s safely inside, then I let out a big sigh. There’s relief in knowing she won’t pester me about things, though I worry she’ll only come after me later when she’s more rested.

The girl is a bloodhound.

It doesn’t take long to get home. There’s barely any traffic out this late, and if it weren’t for the other college kids partying, Bellport would likely be silent. The blend of small town and medium-sized city works here. It gives us the best of both worlds.

Ma is watching tv when I get home. I freeze at the sight of her being up this late. She’s normally gone to bed.

“Hey, Ma. You ok?”

She turns at the sound of my voice. Her smile is soft as she waves me over. I take a seat beside her on the couch. I lean into her side, accepting the love radiating from her.

This right here is why I haven’t moved away.

Well, one of the reasons anyway.

Why would I leave when I have all I need here? Besides, being on my own feels like another stressor I don’t need or want.

“I was just watching old videos of you boys when you were little. Some days, I miss those moments. This house feels empty when you’re both gone.”

There’s a note of sadness in her voice that breaks my heart. “I’m sorry, Ma. I thought you’d be in bed. If I’d known you were up, then I could have come home.”

She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t want that. You need to experience everything life has for you, Carino. I will be fine. Maybe I should get a cat or something.”

“Ummm… aren’t I allergic?”

I’m not.

But I am terrified of cats.

The videos I see of them online make them look like tiny demons. I want no part of that.

Ma smiles at me, like she can read my mind. She likely can. It’s one of her many superpowers.

“Fine, no cat. A bird? Or — oh! A turtle. I love turtles.”

I listen to her run down the list of possible animals she could get until she exhausts herself. Only then do I walk her to her room and tell her goodnight so I can go to my own.

My thoughts turn to Andry and the fact that I never texted about getting Yaz home. Guilt surges through me so quick, I whip out my phone from my pocket.

I don’t think as I compose the text. It’s only after I send it that I realize how frazzled this man has me.

Rodney: Made it home. Stayed up with Ma to talk about animals. She wants a pet since I’m gone so much. I don’t know how I feel about it. Missing you. XO

Oh, shit.

Where is the unsend button when you need it?