Page 3

CHAPTER 3

Rodney

I scream in terror as a massive body falls on top of mine. The second I hear my brother’s laugh, the panic recedes, and I’m furious.

“Get off me you big buffoon!”

No matter how hard I shove him, he doesn’t move an inch. Makes sense considering his massive size. The man is probably twice my weight, most of which is muscle. Adding in our height difference only makes the fight more futile.

“You love me, nugget. And I know you’ve missed me. Don’t pretend otherwise,” Aries teases.

Groaning, I collapse back on the bed, the fight draining from me as quickly as it came. “I did miss you, but I like sleep too. Why are you waking me up so early?”

“Because I brought breakfast, and Ma said I could.”

“Actually, I think she said you could come kindly wake up your brother. This doesn’t seem all that kind, Daddy.” I turn my head to see Raymond, my brother’s boyfriend, waiting in the door. “Hey, Rodney. Sorry about him.”

I smile, despite barely being able to breath. Did I mention I have a boulder atop my chest?!

“All good. Struggling to get air, though. Maybe he could...”

Aries pops up before I finish my sentence. I gasp, desperate for some air to return to my body. It’s embarrassing how little it takes to restrain me.

“We need to get you in the gym, nugget. Your endurance is shit.”

“Not all of us are professional athletes, Aries. What good would going to the gym do for me?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Bell says working out helps everybody.”

“Does Finn workout?”

Finn is Bell’s — aka Bellamy’s — partner. Bell plays on the same team as Aries, and they also happen to be best friends.

While the two athletes are built with stacks on stacks of muscle, Finn and I are the complete opposite.

“I mean — not that I know of. Doesn’t mean you can’t though. Maybe you and Raymond could join us?” Aries turns a hopeful look towards his boyfriend.

Raymond takes a step back, hands raised. “Absolutely not. I’m good like this. And I think Rodney is good too. Not all of us are built to be smushed beneath defensive linemen.”

My brother swaggers forward. “You didn’t mind being… oomph!”

“Ignore anything you just heard,” Raymond pleas. “He’s clearly lost it. I’ll take him down. You can come join us when you’re ready.”

They leave me alone with their final words rolling around in my head. Of course, I don’t want to think of my brother that way. His sex life is really none of my business.

Instead, I focus on the other part of the entire interaction. The part that drew my attention and held it more than I care to admit.

“Daddy.”

Such a simple word, yet so powerful.

It’s no secret that Aries and Bellamy are both kinky. From what I understand, they’re not the only athletes in Bellport who are that way either. I’ve seen Brutal Bishop, the Bears hockey star, with his boyfriend. They’ve definitely got some Dom/sub action happening.

Then there’s Jake Bellport and his two partners. Total Daddies if I had to bet.

When you factor in the other outliers I’ve noticed too like Jett Fawkes, who I would guess is little to his core, you start to see the patterns. You also get more than a bit curious of how it all works.

I’m not saying I want a Daddy.

I’m also not saying I don’t want one.

The issue is that I’m an academic. I like learning about things I don’t understand. This is just another instance of such. I want to know why people choose these relationship dynamics. What does it bring them? Are they happy? Is it really so amazing?

I might not know the answers to the first and last question, but the ‘are they happy’ would be a resounding ‘yes’ across the board. I’ve never seen these men more content than after they’ve started these relationships.

Shaking myself from the train of thought, I get up and get dressed for the day. I’m really early but maybe getting to campus sooner than normal won’t be so bad. I can head to the library to get in some quiet study time. Heaven knows I won’t be able to get any work done with my brother around.

Downstairs, I’m met with the sound of Aries excitedly telling a story while Ma and Raymond giggle at his theatrics. Ma spots me first, jumping up to come fuss over me.

I love the woman to pieces, though she can be a tad overbearing. Granted, when your youngest child becomes something of a prodigy and starts skipping grades faster than you can sign the waivers and IEP forms, it gets daunting. She didn’t even want to let me go to college so early at first. It was only when my teachers convinced her there was nothing further they could offer me that she agreed.

Long story short, I chose Bellport U. It made sense to stay close since I was still a minor. Several years and degrees later, I’m still here. This place is home, even when my mother squeezes me so tight in a hug that I lose my breath for the second time this morning.

“Good to see you too, Ma. You know I live here, right?” I tease.

She makes a noise of disagreement under her breath. “Yet I rarely ever see you. Always studying. Always working. Too smart for your own good, Carino.”

Aries barks out a laugh at her teasing tone. “You tell him, Ma.”

I shake my head at them both before moving over to grab a plate. Ma always loves to feed her growing boys. I swear I will be in my 40s, and she'll still be saying it.

She can't help herself. I know it’s part of the culture, yet it still amuses me to no end.

I dig in before either of them can ask me any questions. It's not that I want to avoid conversations, but they tend to worry about me. When the bullying was at its worst, they helped pull me out of it. I got some counseling and learned how to better cope with others' actions towards me.

It's been a long time since the taunts truly got to me. Now they're just annoying.

And the physical violence stopped as the guys focused on other things. High school kids were brutal, but college kids really didn't care. Their goals revolved around partying and drinking.

When I finish, I lean back and pat my stomach. “Deliciosa como siempre,” I tell her.

She smiles brightly, thankful for the praise. Aries mumbles, “Suck up” under his breath. Ma smacks him in the back of the head.

"Be nice to your brother. We protect family. We love family."

He nods, shoveling a bite of food in his mouth. He talks as he chews. "Of course we do, Ma. That's why I beat the shit out of anyone who ever comes after him. No one's gonna mess with my little brother. Why do you think I train so hard in the gym?"

I scoff. "You train hard because you're paid millions of dollars to do so, and because you love to play football. It has nothing to do with protecting me."

He waves his fork in the air. "It started as a way to protect you, or I guess it improved what I was doing. I would never have built this much muscle if I didn't need to keep you safe. It benefited my football game too, so I just kept going."

My jaw drops at the revelation. It's nothing like I expect from him.

Ma reaches over and pats his hands. "You're a good boy."

Raymond chokes on his bite of food. Aries snickers, knowing just how those two words affect him, even when they're not directed his way. They both enjoy attention and praise.

Aries leans over and whispers something in his ear. Ma and I ignore them, the two of us sharing a grin that says we know just how those two lovebirds are getting on.

The rest of breakfast is pretty uneventful, and I'm able to slip away without too much complaint from them. I decide it's best to just get to school, and I'll figure the rest out later. I'm almost out the door when Ma stops me. She hands me a sack lunch and packs my cheek.

“You know it's okay for you to find a special someone too. Someone like Raymond,” she inquires.

I don't have the heart to tell her that I won't ever be with someone like Raymond. Not because there's anything wrong with him. I think he's perfect for my brother. But I need someone who would want to take care of me. Someone who is more dominant and could do things I can't.

I don't want to say someone like my brother because that's a little too close to home; however, if I had a type, it would be athletes, which is a burden because they're also usually my biggest tormentors.

“I'll see what I can do, Ma,” I tell her before giving her a hug and thanking her for my lunch.

I leave and spend the rest of the day hearing her words on repeat. Would I like a special someone? Of course I would. Do I think I'll have one anytime soon? Probably not.

* * *

The next day, I decide to avoid my brother and his possible wake-up call by heading to school early again. I have a paper due that needs some research, and I'm not finding what I need online. There's something about using the library’s reference section that just hits different.

I love the tactile feel of the paper and the smell of old books. Plus, I can spread it all out and see it at a glance. With the internet, I can easily get distracted by a pop-up ad or wanting to check my socials. Next thing I know I'm on my 15th video about how to knit when I never even had the inclination to do so.

It's cooler today so I tuck my jacket tighter to me as I trek across campus. There's never any parking near the library and with the way the school is set up, certain parking lots are for certain people. I'm thankful my PhD status gives me access to a lot that’s fairly close to everything.

I still have a ways to go to get where I want to be.

My bag sits heavy at my hip, the satchel stuffed full of notebooks and graded papers for my professor. I did some assignments for him in exchange for him giving me early access to his research as he works through it. It's not a requirement that he let me in, but I'm willing to bribe and do what's necessary to get real-time updates. By the time it's published in a journal, I'll be ahead of the game with my own research.

The thought of getting yet another PhD comes to me, and I freeze before heading up to steps of the library. Do I want another degree or am I simply avoiding the inevitable? What happens when there's nothing left to learn? Do I get a job, or do I mooch off my brother for the rest of my life?

Aries has said more than once that he's willing to pay for anything and everything that I want. I don't have to work a day in my life if I don't want to.

But part of me does.

I want to be normal. Even thinking the word has my eyes rolling.

I'll never be normal in the sense that everyone else sees, but I could have a traditional job role maybe. Possibly.

Okay, the chances are slim. I could still entertain the notion for the sake of doing so.

I take the steps quickly, not really paying attention to where I’m going since this is routine. As luck would have it, today isn’t so routine because I run into a wall not even two seconds later.

Why is the wall moving?

Walls don’t move.

I step back, because I know that the doors are still further back and again, walls do not move.

When I straighten my glasses, I see I've actually run into a person, not the building. My jaw drops when I see just how big this guy is. His shoulders are massive, and he’s way above my head. Possibly seven inches or so taller than me. Maybe more.

And his jaw looks as if it was carved from marble. Pale skin contrasts with onyx black hair. It curls in all different directions, telling the world with a single glance that they won’t be tamed. His piercing eyes stare down at me. I spot a scar peeking through his hair too. It doesn’t take away from how hot the guy is either. If it weren't for the obvious RBF, I would think that he hates me.

“I'm sorry,” I tell him quickly. “I wasn't paying attention.”

He doesn't respond. Moving closer, he bridges the space I created when I was trying to get my bearings.

"You're sorry," he repeats, his voice slightly accented.

Who is this guy? Where did he come from?

I take in his appearance again. From head to toe he is the total package. A real dream. Like my fantasies come to life.

But then I spot something that makes everything in me freeze.

It's the logo for the hockey team. And it's on a duffel bag hanging on his hip. This must be the new guy Liam mentioned the other day when he was giving me shit.

That makes this guy unattainable.

Not that I could have had him before. He's definitely on the list of people to avoid now. If he doesn't know who I am already, he will, as soon as the others’ taunts reach him.

I step back again and shake my head. “I'm sorry,” I say, then rush around him to head into the library.

When I get to the door, I turn back for one more glance. I only want to see him, to put the picture in my mind since I know he'll never be mine. Instead of him walking away, I'm left with his stare. It holds me captive for a second before I can break free.

He's no longer blankly observing me. Instead, he looks confused. Like he doesn't understand why I apologized.

If he weren't on the hockey team, I might have gone up and explained. I might have asked him where he's from and told him why I was apologizing.

But I can't risk it.

I can't befriend someone who will eventually hate me. Someone who will eventually tease me as much as the others.

Being close to him would only fuel the crush already attempting to bloom.

I step into the library and let go of the entire interaction. It's time to restart. My first step is focusing on what's important: My research and finishing my degree.

Everything else can wait.