Page 17

Chapter Seventeen

Summerville Chance

S itting at the clubhouse, Chance glares into his beer bottle. Nowhere lately feels happy. Ever since this shit with Kara, Chance has been in a perpetual state of anger. All anger all the time. But when the front door opened, and he saw Dax walk inside with Dani in tow, the anger disappeared.

Dani still looks frail and ghostly, and she holds her hands to her body protectively as though creating her own personal barrier. Dax looks so distraught, but he's trying his best to help reacclimate her into the world outside of shitty basements and chains. They sit at a table together, but she pulls her legs up and hugs her knees. When Dax tries to reach out and touch her, she flinches away from him.

If I'd believed Kara, we could have freed her sooner. Not by much, but still, sooner.

It's an unwelcome thought because it means admitting he needs to be at fault for at least some of this. He's not ready to admit it yet, but something else has been nagging at him.

Standing, he walks up to the table where Dani sits when Dax walks to get something to drink.

“May I sit?” Chance asks, and when she gives a little nod, he takes a seat. Looking at her makes his heart break. “Can I ask you something and get an honest answer?”

“Maybe,” Dani says, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Kara left me to hook up with a Kingsmen trying to get to you. I need to know, from what you know, how much danger did she put herself in?”

Swallowing, Dani rocks slightly and lets out a slow breath. “A lot.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad could it have gotten?”

“Thirteen.”

His stomach drops. “How bad do you think it was for her?”

“How long was she with them?”

“A few months.”

“Nine.”

Looking at the ceiling, it hits him just how stupid he's been. “I'm sorry, Dani. I'm so sorry.”

“I don't see Kara. Is she coming tonight?”

“We, uh, I've been angry with her. We're not, uh, together right now.”

Nodding, she gives a sad smile. “Sounds about right.”

“What do you mean?”

“Promise not to get mad?”

The fear in her voice makes Chance want to ride out with a machine gun and shoot up any and every place he knows the Kingsmen hang out. “I promise.”

“Kara's always catered to you. She wants to make you so happy that she locks away parts of herself that she doesn't think you'll like. Fantasies she has or being affectionate in public. You have always been the most important thing to her.”

Pain stabs at him. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because she loves you more than anything, but she risked losing you to try and save me.”

“She did save you,” he chokes out. “She was in the house getting the number of men she saw to report to Lex. She did save you.”

“I hope I see her soon to thank her.”

Dax walks back up to them, and Chance stands. “I'm so sorry, guys. So fucking sorry.”

He walks outside and hops on his bike. He has to see Kara. Someone mentioned she was staying at the motel on the outskirts of town, and he hopes she's still there. She has to be there.

“I need to know what room Kara Gallagher is in,” he says at the front desk.

“We don’t give out room numbers,” the man with dead eyes says.

Chance grabs him by his collar and pulls him half over the desk. “It’s my girl, and I need to know what room she’s in. Now.”

“Seven,” he says, and is rewarded with being released while Chance runs outside.

Pounding on the door, he leans against it, praying she's here.

“Who is it?” Kara calls.

“It's me.”

“Hold on.”

It takes a few minutes before the door opens, and he sees Kara with wet hair wearing a dingy white robe. She'd been in the bathtub, and based on her puffy, red eyes, she'd been crying.

“What are you doing here?”

Seeing her now and seeing Dani, it's like the entire world did a one-eighty. He's so stupid. “Can I come inside?”

Nodding, she moves aside, and he walks into the small room. He watches her brace herself after she shuts the door, and he hates how she expects some type of verbal lashing. “What can I do for you?”

“I saw Dani tonight,” he says and sits on the edge of the bed. “She's so... different.”

“Different how? Is she okay?”

He runs his tongue over his lips, and the concern for her friend hits him like two fists to the chest. “She looks like a ghost.”

“I think she's probably looked like that for a while now. That's what I thought when I first saw her in that basement window.”

Chance stares at the muted television. “Kara-”

“Chance, you have to understand, I couldn't stop thinking about Dani. About how I would feel in her position, seeing someone who knows me, and how I’d feel if they did nothing to help me,” she says, tears streaming down her face. “And knowing she tried to end her life to get herself out of the situation... I can't bear it.”

“It's how I feel thinking about you with that Kingsmen asshole,” he admits.

“I know you can't forgive me for what I did, and I understand. I do. I don't blame you, but can you tell me that you at least understand why I had to do something?”

Nodding, he looks at his hands. “I do. It doesn't make me hate the image of that asshole grabbing at you while he shoved his tongue down your throat any easier, though.”

“Everything I did... God, it makes me sick, but I did it for Dani. I hated every minute of it, and I know it was terrible and awful. But what I hated most of all was the pain on your face. The last thing I wanted was to cause you pain.”

“When I saw Dani tonight, I realized something. Maybe some of this could have been avoided if I'd just listened to you. If I'd taken what you said seriously and gone to look for myself. But I realized that I didn't want it to be true. Because knowing she was right under our noses for so fucking long drives me insane. Looking back, we should have known something wasn't right. None of it made any fucking sense.”

Kara holds back a sob, and she wipes at her tears, her eyes on the ground. “I think there were so many other factors in play that made it easier if we just accepted it.”

“Maybe.”

“I also want to tell you that I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed when we were together. I tried, but I guess I wasn't doing a very good job. You deserved better.”

Dani's words play in his mind. She wants to make you so happy that she locks away parts of herself that she doesn't think you'll like. “I didn't mean it, Kara. I only said that to hurt you, but it's not true, and it wasn't fair.”

“I deserved it,” she says, a sob escaping. “I know you can't forgive me, but can you at least not hate me? Knowing you hate me has been the hardest part about all of this.”

Standing up, Chance places his hands on her shoulders. “Dani said a couple of things to me tonight. That's why I'm here.”

“W-what did she say?”

“She said you lock away parts of yourself you don't think I'll like to make me happy. Is that true?”

The way her chin quivers as she avoids looking at him tells Chance everything he needs to know. “I don't know if-”

“Kara, did you think I would walk away if you told me something I didn't like?”

“Losing you was always my biggest fear. I held things back, but it's not so black and white.”

“She also said you risked losing me to save her.”

An angry chuckle comes out of her mouth. “But I didn't save her. Lex did.”

“You did save her, Kara. We would've had no idea who was inside if you weren't there. I made sure Dani knew you saved her. Her words really hit home tonight.”

“Just... please don't hate me, Chance. I can figure out how to deal with the rest of the shit that happened, but I don't know if I can live knowing you hate me. If you can't tell me you don't hate me and mean it, can you lie to me? I don't care if it's a lie, I just... it's killing me.”

His hands cup her face and force her to look at him as she sobs. “I don't hate you. I never did, and I never will. Kara, I could have prevented everything that went wrong between us, but I didn't want to believe it. I'm the failure, Kara. I failed you, and I failed Dani.”

“No, you're not a failure!”

He swallows past the lump in his throat. “I am. I have to accept that to move on and be better. Can you ever forgive me?”

“There's nothing to forgive.”

The way this woman loves him unconditionally makes it hurt so much worse. He screwed up, and she doesn't hold it against him. He's the reason she had to do what she did, but she's more concerned that he hates her rather than blaming him for causing it all.

“There is. Don't let me off the hook this time. I don't deserve that much grace. I have a lot to make up for.”

“Not with me,” she says and looks into his eyes. “We all make mistakes. We all do things we think are best in the moment that aren't in the long run. If I could go back, I'd change so many things.”

“I'm so sorry, Kara. So fucking sorry. I want to start over. Can you come back home, please?”

Her arms wrap around his neck as he buries his face in hers. His tears fall into the robe, and she sobs against him, her hands running through his short hair. “I want to come home, Chance.”

“I miss you. I miss you and I love, and I fucking need you.”

Her lips find his, and he needs her. He needs her now, and his hands untie her robe, opening it to bare skin.

“I'm yours,” she mutters against his lips. “Only yours.”

Guiding her to the bed, he lays her down, and he peppers her chest with kisses until he reaches her nipples, sucking on each until she moans and arches her back. “Only mine.”

“Only yours,” she moans.

“Promise me something,” Chance says.

“Anything.”

“Don't hide any part of yourself away because you're scared I won't want you. I want you to be you. Someone who tells me her fantasies and thoughts. The woman who wants to mount me in public because she can't get enough of me.”

She sighs. “I just want to make you happy, Chance.”

“It's time I work to make sure Kara's happy. But I do need one last thing.”

“What's that?”

“I have to pretend that whatever happened with the Kingsmen never did. Can we do that?”

“As long as I can pretend the girl you took in our bed never happened.”

He groans. “I'm sorry about that.”

“It never happened, right?”

“Never happened,” Chance mutters as her fingers unbutton his jeans to help free him. “Only us. Forever.”