Page 13

Chapter Thirteen

Summerville Nelson

L eaving Daphne's place, Nelson seethes. She runs off to fuck his brother, and he's the bad guy? He's the one who needs to take accountability? That's very much the pot calling the kettle black.

He doesn't want to admit it, but he knows Daphne's right to some extent. He took his anger at the whole situation out on Sutton, and while she and Max are the catalyst to his outburst, it's not their fault. They didn't make him lash out at the woman he's pretty sure he's starting to fall in love with. He's never been with someone like Sutton, and it kind of scares him.

What Daphne and he had was never going to end up in forever. He knows it. He knew it when they started dating, but it doesn't mean that having her with his brother doesn't sting. Things with Sutton feel different than they ever did with Daphne, though. They were friends first, and she seemed to like him as a person, not just a club member. Not as a one-night stand. They had gotten to know each other in a way he never had with anyone else before, and he thinks that might be what made the sex between them that much better, too.

“Could I be trying to sabotage the relationship with Sutton in a stupid attempt to protect myself before I get too deep in?” Nelson says to himself as he walks down the block from the tattoo shop and Daphne's apartment. He needs to clear his head, and again, he finds himself outside Sutton's building.

“Daph and I never fell in love. I never felt about her how I do Sutton. But can I really be falling in love with someone? I didn't think I was built for the whole hearts and flowers thing. But maybe things change,” he says, his voice mumbling as he catches the door while someone walks out.

Taking the stairs to the third floor, he stops in front of her apartment and knocks. The door swings open, and Sutton jumps in shock when she sees him.

“What are you doing here? How did you get in here?” Sutton asks.

“I scaled the wall until I found an open window to an abandoned apartment,” he jokes. It doesn't land, and he chuckles awkwardly. “Okay, tough crowd. Not in the mood for jokes. Got it. One of your neighbors was leaving as I walked up.”

Moving to the side, she has mercy and lets him step inside. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you. Well, I subconsciously wanted to talk to you. I started walking and ended up here.”

“Where were you?”

“Daphne's place.”

Nodding, she moves into the kitchen and leans against the kitchen counter. “I see.”

“Yeah, it was a barrel of laughs. I walked in on her blowing my brother. Kind of. He'd just finished as she swallowed.”

Her nose crinkles. “That sounds... fun to walk into.”

“About as much fun as it was to see her name tattooed right above his dick.”

“He always did have a thing for her.”

“Did everyone see it?” Nelson asks, moving to sit on the stool opposite of her. “Am I fucking blind?”

Her head nods up and down, and she lets out a humorless laugh. “Yep.”

“Why didn't anyone say anything?”

“What would that have done? Besides piss you off? At some point, one of you two was going to realize you weren't a good fit. She really does fit better with Max, and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings by saying that. If you step back and take a hard look, they're basically the same person. When you see them together, it, well, clicks.”

He can't bring himself to look into her eyes. “Do we fit?”

“No. Not anymore.”

Looking up, he narrows his eyes. “Because I snapped at you? Sutton, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. This whole thing has me really fucked up. My brother's not only fucking my ex, who humiliated me in my own clubhouse, but he got the club to buy her shop. Most people aren't stuck with their exes in their lives like this after a breakup. I just... I lost it.”

“I'm not holding a grudge because you snapped at me. I have a lot going on right now. Actually, I am kind of pissed at you for snapping at me because you forced me to do something I didn't want to. Something I wished I'd never done.”

“Meeting Ryan?”

Sutton nods and looks away from him. “Meeting him was a mistake, and I'm really trying to figure out where exactly I fit now. I'm not a Cannon, and I can't stand the thought of my mother. I mean, I always kind of despised her because she's not what most would consider to be stable or motherly, but knowing she kept that letter because she wanted to hurt Cannon one day really sets the bar high on what she's willing to do to people.”

“You think that's why she kept the letter?”

“That, or she wanted to throw it in my face one day. Either way, her intention was to hurt someone. I have no doubts at all about that fact. But... that's my mother.”

“You're still a daughter of the club. Cannon would die for you, Sutton.”

Tears fill her eyes, but she blinks them away before they have a chance to escape. “But he shouldn't. I'm not his daughter. I'm no one to him.”

“That's not true at all. You're his daughter. I don't understand why you're fighting against it so hard. Do you hate him?”

“No!” she shouts and looks at him. “I wish I did, but I don't hate him. If I did, this would all be so much easier.”

“Then why can't you just accept that the blood flowing through your veins doesn't mean shit? I mean, all of those guys in the club are my brothers, even though only one shares DNA with me. But I see them all the same.”

Crossing her arms under her chest, she glares. He said something wrong. “Would you have the reaction you had about Daphne moving on if it was one of them instead of Max with her?”

Fuck, she got me there. “I don't know.”

“Then you're lying to me. You do know that you wouldn't react the same way, or you don't really see the rest of them the same way you see Max. They're your brothers, but they're not your real brothers. Just like I'm Cannon's daughter, but I'm not Cannon's real daughter.”

“What does that matter?”

Sniffling, Sutton doubles down. “Why does the club buying the shop from an ex-girlfriend you said you never really loved matter?”

Standing, Nelson shakes his head. “I know what you're doing. You're trying to find correlations between shit just like I did in order to hurt me. But it's not going to work, Sutton. Because nothing you can say will hurt me.”

“And that's the perfect reason why we don't fit together.”

“What are you talking about?”

“If you care about someone, they have the ability to hurt you. You keep yourself so guarded, never allowing anyone to get close to you, so you don't have to feel hurt. It's a reason not to let people in. But you make mistakes with that. You don't realize that people do care, and you really don't realize that your words have weight. They have meaning. And they really fucking hurt.”

He licks his lips and lets out a slow breath. “I've never been one to get attached to anyone because I didn't want to go through the heartbreak I've seen so many others go through.”

“And by doing that, you create heartbreak for others. You hurt Daphne by not letting her in, and you let her suffer with her pain by herself. Just like you said something you knew would hurt me without much of a second thought. I thought things could be different between us because we were friends first, but I'm no different than anyone else in your life.”

“That's not true. You're different from everyone else in my life.”

“I want to be alone right now. Can you please leave?”

His eyes study her. “Sutton, the last thing you should be right now is alone.”

“I don't want you here, Nelson. I'm done, and in order to do that, I need to not be around you. I need you to walk away and leave me be. I don't mean anything to you-”

“That's not true.”

She shakes her head at his words, and he feels like nothing he says will prove this fact to her. “It's how you make me feel. I feel like I don't mean anything to you, but you mean something to me. No matter how much I wish you didn't, you do. And it hurts being around you. The power you have has a lot of potential to hurt me, and I would rather be alone than risk that. So, please, go.”

The resolve on her face tells him she means every word. Especially when she says she doesn't feel like she means anything to him. He knows she means everything to him, but there's nothing he can say that will convince her of that fact. Not after how he screwed up.

“If that's what you really want.”

“I do. Thank you,” she says and walks to her door, holding it open. “Have a good life, Nelson.”

Moments like this make Nelson wish he'd been built to express himself better. Find a way to communicate what he thinks and feels in a way that doesn't come off like a complete jackass. Instead, he just stands and walks to the door. “Bye, Sutton.”