Page 32 of Trophy

The next afternoon Allison walked into Rob’s kitchen to grab some more beers.

Rob had Keith and Mitch over to watch a game on TV.

Normally Allison would have been perfectly happy to let him have his guy time while she did her own thing at her house.

She was feeling a little uncomfortable after last night, so she would have liked to spend a few hours making jewelry, something that calmed her and made her happy.

But Rob had seemed to really want her to stay, so she’d agreed.

She brought the beers back into living room, which was slightly neater than usual, since Rob had picked up a big pile of stuff before the other men had arrived and dumped it on the floor of the coat closet.

“Thanks, hon,” Mitch told her, accepting the beer she offered him.

Keith just mumbled something incoherent.

She smiled as she handed Rob his beer and was surprised when he reached out to draw her onto the recliner with him.

“You don’t have to bring us stuff,” he said, brushing a kiss against her hair after he’d settled her beside him.

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, you’ve done enough, so just relax and watch the game.”

Allison had no real interest in baseball, but at least she understood it better than football, and it wasn’t like all the action came to an abrupt halt every few seconds. She nestled against Rob’s nice, solid body, enjoying the feel of his arm around her, and focused on the television screen.

She knew Rob still felt bad about the night before. She knew he was trying to be extra sweet today to make up for it. She wasn’t angry, but she was really upset—mostly with herself.

She’d been surprised and hurt when Rob left her last night, but she hadn’t confronted him about it. She’d wanted to, but she’d sensed some sort of block in him. She’d been sure if she pushed him any further, he would close down on her completely.

She hadn’t wanted that to happen. She’d been afraid of losing him.

She’d felt guilty because it still bothered him that it had taken her so long to make their relationship public.

She’d gone into panic mode at the thought of life without him.

So she hadn’t done what she really knew she should have done.

Even now that she’d had time to think it through and realize she’d been wrong to cave the way she had, she couldn’t make herself bring it up. It didn’t feel like the right time. It seemed like her chance to address his behavior had passed.

She had no idea what she should do, but she just didn’t feel right about the whole thing.

A half hour later Allison tried to pull out of Rob’s arm, but he wouldn’t let her. “Don’t go,” he murmured a little thickly. He was looking down at her face, reading her expression.

“I need to go to the bathroom, and Mitch needs another beer.”

“He can get his own. You don’t have to wait on my friends.”

They were both speaking very softly to keep the conversation private.

She smiled at him. He was really very sweet at heart.

Maybe she was making a big deal out of nothing.

Maybe it was just her lingering insecurities that were making her so uncertain.

“I really don’t mind occasionally—just to be nice. ”

“You’re plenty nice. You need to relax and enjoy yourself sometimes.”

Since he was clearly trying to think of her, she didn’t mention that watching sports wasn’t her ideal way to enjoy herself. She stretched up to give him a soft kiss. “I really do need to go to the bathroom.”

“Hey,” Keith called out, without turning away from the TV, “none of that mushy stuff during the game.”

Allison chuckled and finally pulled out of Rob’s arm.

She went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands. Her hair was braided, and she wore one of Rob’s T-shirts and a pair of leggings. She had no makeup on, and she wasn’t wearing shoes.

She didn’t look anything—not anything—like the woman who had walked out on Arthur a year and three months ago.

She wondered if she’d changed as much inside. Or if, despite her altered appearance, she was still a trophy wife at heart. Not quite so young. Not quite so gorgeous. But still vulnerable and dependent deep down—as Arthur had always insisted.

Shaking her head to dispel the thoughts, she walked into the hall and called out, “Rob? My feet are cold. Can I borrow a pair of your socks?”

“Sure. They’re in the drawer.”

She shuffled into the bedroom and opened the top drawer of his dresser, where he kept his socks.

The first thing she saw was an engagement ring.

It had to be an engagement ring. It was a gold band with a pretty diamond solitaire in a delicate setting. It wasn’t incredibly expensive—at least not by Allison’s old standards—but it was good quality and lovely and looked full of history.

It was an engagement ring.

She stared dazedly for a moment, until she heard Rob’s voice, sounding like it was moving down the hall toward her, “Actually, you better just grab some out of the basket,” he was saying.

Reacting quickly, she closed the drawer and turned away from the dresser. She was staring at the laundry basket when he entered the room.

She saw his face, the rush of relief when he saw her. “All the socks in the drawer have holes,” he explained.

He hadn’t wanted her to see the ring.

She managed a smile and leaned down to dig through the clothes in the basket until she found a matching pair of socks. Rob took her hand and pulled her back into the living room, away from his bedroom.

She sat in the recliner with him again and pulled on the socks. Then she cuddled up beside him and pretended to watch the game.

She saw nothing on the screen.

There was no way that Rob was about to propose to her. No way. It was way too early for them, and Rob would know that.

Maybe that ring was just a family heirloom or something he kept in that drawer. It looked old, so that would make sense.

But then why had he been so urgent about her not opening the drawer and seeing it. He’d jumped out of his chair and rushed down the hall to keep her from finding it.

There was still no way, though. He wasn’t going to propose.

Not anytime soon. He still wouldn’t open up to her all the way.

He still wouldn’t let her help him in any significant way.

He’d left her last night to go to Dee, when he must have known he shouldn’t do so.

He’d been running away from the conversation they’d been about to have.

He would know that they weren’t ready for such a step.

She satisfied herself with this conclusion. She was sure he wasn’t about to pop the question.

She couldn’t help but still see that ring, though, and the visual shot right down to that low-level anxiety she’d been feeling and stirred it up into real fear.

Rob wanted to be married. He wanted a happy, stable marriage like his parents’. He wanted a traditional family and a sweet, small-town wife and a bunch of happy kids.

But she wasn’t ready to be a wife again—not when she wasn’t yet sure that she could really make it on her own. She still caved when she felt like he was displeased with her. She was starting to say things he wanted to heat. Or not say things that he didn’t.

She still couldn’t get him to trust her with his deepest feelings, lean on her when he felt weak, or even admit that he needed her in any way. That wasn’t the kind of relationship she wanted.

She would become another trophy wife. Rob was a far better man, but maybe the problem had always been her.

She was growing more and more upset as the time passed and was doing the best she could not to show it. Finally the game ended, and Mitch and Keith got up to leave.

To hide her expression, she gathered up the empty bottles and took them to kitchen, telling the guys goodbye as she went.

She heard Rob chatting with his friends about getting together later to work on Mitch’s car.

Rob was like that. Always helping people. Always being the shoulder to lean on. Always being strong and competent and solid. It was the way he lived his life, and it wasn’t going to change.

He was never going to let her be someone he leaned on too. He didn’t even want her to be that person.

The guys were still talking on the front porch. She could hear them through the door. Mitch called out a “See you later,” and then Keith was saying, “Hey, don’t think I’ve forgotten. I owe you a hundred bucks.”

This surprised Allison so much that she paused to listen.

“You don’t owe me—” Rob began.

“Hey!” Keith interrupted. “I never welch on my bets. It was a hundred dollars that you couldn’t get her to go out with you in three months. Well, three months was last week, and you’ve done way more than go out with her.”

Allison blinked.

“Would you shut up?” Rob muttered, his hushed voice growing fainter, like he was pulling Keith farther from the front door.

He didn’t want her to hear this, exactly as he didn’t want her to see that ring in his drawer.

They must have made some sort of bet that Rob couldn’t get Allison to go out with him.

And he’d won. He’d won her. So now he could put her on the shelf like another trophy.

She knew the thought wasn’t fair. She knew that if he’d made that bet, it would have been before he’d really known her.

She knew she was the one who couldn’t be anything but dependent and it wasn’t really him at all.

But the knowledge crystallized all the chaotic fears and conclusions swirling inside her.

She knew what she needed to do now. She had to do what was best for both of them, even if it meant giving up something she was just now realizing she desperately wanted.

She took a deep breath and walked back to Rob’s bedroom. She’d left some of her things there over the last few weeks, and she needed to get them.

This time she was going to be strong. She wasn’t going to cling. She wasn’t going to end up in another strong man’s arms because she was too weak to do what she knew was right. She wasn’t going to cave and say the things Rob wanted her to say.