Page 25 of Trophy

When she got back into her house, Allison felt like crying. She wasn’t even sure why.

She’d wanted Rob to open up to her and lean on her a little.

He was always the strong shoulder for her to lean on, and she wanted to be that occasionally herself.

She knew rationally that she hadn’t even agreed to date him publicly yet.

She hadn’t even committed to a real dating relationship, so she had no grounds to be disappointed that he was still holding back in a significant way.

She still did, though.

Seeing him open up would help to assure her that she wasn’t being the clingy, dependent person she didn’t want to be. Maybe then she’d feel safe enough to take another step.

She went into her bedroom to change clothes, and after she had, she idly lifted the lid of the box in which she kept all of Rob’s napkin notes. On top was the one from today. At the bottom was the first one he’d written her.

She started to read through them, being careful to keep them in order. Instead of making her smile, as they normally did, they caused the knot in her chest to keep deepening.

It was clear from these notes that Rob liked how she looked. A lot.

It was also clear he liked to have sex with her.

While the early ones seemed to indicate he appreciated more about her, the later ones were almost all focused on her appearance and sex.

Maybe that was all he wanted from her. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to open up and be authentic.

She stared blindly at one of the notes from last week. I’ve never seen any other girl as beautiful as you. R. She’d thought it was so sweet when he gave it to her, but now it made her feel kind of sick.

That was what Arthur had said to her when they first started dating. Not the same words, but the same sentiment.

She shook the thought away, knowing it was irrational.

Rob wanted her for a lot more than her looks.

Being with Rob was different from being with Arthur.

Any hesitation she sensed from him was probably her own fault, for not being able to jump in with both feet.

She was overreacting. She wasn’t going to get hung up on this and get depressed about nothing.

She returned the notes to the box and closed it firmly.

She was just about to go to bed when there was a knock on her door. Blinking, she went to look through the peephole. No one should be at her door at this time of night.

She swung the door open when she saw it was Rob on her front stoop, his face twisted slightly as if he were feeling something strong. “What’s the matter?” she asked, stepping out of the way to let him inside.

He stepped in. “I’m sorry to just come over like this. I can’t help feeling like something was… wrong between us before.”

She knew exactly what he was talking about. He’d recognized when she’d withdrawn emotionally because she was so disappointed about his not opening up to her about Dee. She was rather embarrassed about her reaction now, so she tried to downplay it. “Nothing was wrong, Rob. I’m just tired.”

To prove she wasn’t upset, she ushered him into the dining room, where they both sat down in the chairs at the card table where she had all her jewelry materials spread out.

He drew his brows together, his eyes never leaving her face. “Are you sure? I’m really sorry about that whole thing with Dee. I don’t want her to get in between us.”

“It’s not that. It’s not her.”

“Then what is it?”

She felt vulnerable and exposed with his eyes on her so intently. She dropped her gaze to stare down at a little tin of shiny beads. “It’s…” She’d been about to say it was nothing, but she stopped the words before they came out.

She wanted Rob to be honest with her, so she needed to be honest with him. “I… I’d like you to be able to tell me things about her, about how you feel, and I was just a little… disappointed when you didn’t earlier. But it’s really not a major issue.”

She darted her eyes up to see his expression, and she saw a brief flicker of both recognition and anxiety on his face before he gave her a little smile. “Okay. I get it. But there’s really not much to tell.”

“I think there is.” She was nervous about saying even that much, and she knew he felt pressured when she saw his reaction.

He cleared his throat. “Well, we’re not even dating so that other people know about us. How much soul-searching do you really expect?”

He was trying to play the question off as casual, almost teasing, but she wasn’t deceived. He meant it. And she suddenly felt angry and incredibly guilty—both at the same time.

Despite what he kept telling her, he wasn’t happy with the way things were between them.

“So you’re not okay with still taking things slow?” she asked, trying not to sound as emotional as she felt.

“I’m okay if that’s what you need.” He was saying the words but didn’t look like he meant them. And she knew it for sure when he continued, “But it’s been more than a month now. Why are you so afraid to even go on a date with me?”

Now she felt defensive on top of everything else, like he’d caught her doing something wrong. “I went with you tonight.”

“After I assured you it wasn’t really a date.”

“So all this time you’ve been... annoyed that I wanted to take things slow?”

“No, I haven’t been annoyed. I understood. But I would have hoped by now we could...” He trailed off, as if he’d just realized what he was saying.

“I thought we were making progress,” she said, her voice rather raspy as she fought back a few tears.

“All I’ve ever been was a trophy wife. I’ve never been in any other kind of relationship.

I… I wanted to make sure it was… right before we went to the next step.

But I thought we really were making progress. ”

Rob reached out to put a hand on her arm. “We were making progress. We are. I’m sorry I brought this up at all. I haven’t been unhappy.”

“But you want us to go public with this?”

His mouth tightened and he glanced away. “Well, yeah. Is that so unusual? To want everyone else to know we’re together? To know that we’re not just… playing around?”

She was absolutely horrified at the idea that he believed she might just be playing around with him, that he might think she was like his ex-wives and only using him for what she needed.

She was still terrified that they didn’t really have enough of a foundation for a real relationship—that she wasn’t the kind of woman Rob was really looking for—but she couldn’t let him believe she was just stringing him along.

“Okay,” she said, almost choking on the word. “Okay.”

He straightened up. “Okay what?”

“We can go out. On a date.”

“So… you’re ready?”

“Y-yeah. I think so.”

“I’m not just pressuring you into it?”

She did feel slightly pressured, but it wasn’t because Rob was being mean or selfish—the way Arthur so often had been. Rob was right. If they were in this relationship, then she should be in it for real.

She never wanted him to think she was just playing around with him.

“No. I think I’m ready.” She smiled at him, although her hands were shaking a little.

He reached out to take her hands in both of his, and he held them in a warm, strong grip. “It’s going to be okay, Allison. You don’t have anything to be afraid of with me.”

She could tell he meant it. She believed him. It was impossible not to believe that he genuinely cared for her, wanted to take care of her.

She was safe with him. And it didn’t matter that she still felt a flicker of anxiety that she was caving in to the wishes of another man because she was afraid of standing on her own.