Page 24 of Triumphant Kings (Boys Of Kingston Academy #3)

Sadie

I t seems like every time something good happens in my life, something bad shows itself.

Life had been so good with the guys. While I’m still getting the occasional judgmental look from the odd person now and then, people have been leaving me alone about my relationships.

Something tells me that Preston has something to do with it.

I’ve seen the warning looks he’s sent people's way. But I don’t care.

I have good men who love me, the best friends a girl could ask for, and parents who support me.

Life is perfect. Only it’s not.

I’ve been doing my best to keep my emotions under control when I’m around people, but the moment I’m home alone, I’m a mess.

With every passing day, I can feel myself spiraling down a path I’m not sure I’m going to be able to find my way out of.

More and more, I’m hit with the feeling that I’m not safe, always looking over my shoulder, unable to shake the feeling that someone's watching me.

That he’s watching me.

Life is good. And when life is good for too long, that means the other shoe is going to drop at any moment.

People like Bradly Jones don’t just allow anyone to best them. He’s not the kind of person to take what Collin and I have done lying down.

We’ve made a fool out of him. He’s going to want his revenge eventually.

Collin says he’s subdued. But for how long?

He’s the kind of monster who waits until his victims are happy, lost in their own little world, just like we’ve been, not paying attention to anything but the thing they love the most, blind to the rest of the world. Then, they strike when your guard is down.

I can’t let that be me. I won’t let him get the better of me.

But isn’t that what he’s already doing?

Over the past month, I’ve been so stressed out about when he’s going to make his next move that it’s affecting my health.

My sleeping schedule is fucked up, I have no appetite anymore, and when I do manage to eat, I can hardly keep anything down.

It’s getting harder and harder to keep it from the guys. I’ve gone from eating around them and getting sick over it later to turning food down because I’m just not hungry.

I can tell they’re starting to suspect something is wrong. I’ve become desperate, and I’m sick with myself over it, because when one of them asks, I tell them it’s nothing, kiss them, and one thing leads to another. I distract them with sex to get them to forget about it, until the next time.

I know I should talk to them, tell them what's going on. I hate lying; they don’t deserve it. We’ve had too many lies and secrets to last a lifetime.

But I can’t do it. I can’t fuck up the good we have right now.

Things between Preston and Declan are good, more than good. Seeing them happy and together makes me happy.

I’ve got a good thing going between me and each of the guys individually. I’m determined to give each of them equal time while still making time for my friends.

If I tell them what's going on inside my head, it’s only going to worry them and pop the little bubble we’ve worked so hard to build.

And I can’t tell Mom. She would worry, and she doesn’t need that kind of stress on her right now.

She’s still in the newlywed stage with Mark. She deserves to be happy.

No. I won’t let my own fucked up mind put any stress on anyone else; I refuse to be a burden.

I’m going to be an adult and talk to my therapist. Maybe she can help me figure out what to do. Plus, she can’t tell anyone anything I tell her, right?

My growling stomach pulls me out of my own thoughts, making me groan. “Sadie, are you okay?” Emma asks with concern.

I force a smile on my face. “I’m fine. Just hungry.” I huff out a laugh. “Good thing it’s lunch, am I right?” I slip that cheery mask on as I loop my arm through hers.

“Yes, thank god. I’m starving.” Alice moans.

“You’re always hungry." Mia laughs. “And tell me why I think it’s so hot?”

I can’t help but smile at my two best friends. Seeing their relationship blossom has been amazing. It’s still new, but the two of them are crazy about one another. I’m just glad Alice opened her eyes and saw just how perfect the two of them are together.

“You two are weird.” Emma laughs. “But yes, I could use some food.”

As we walk towards the lunch room, I’m hit with a wave of dizziness, my body swaying into Emma.

We stop as she catches me. “Wow, Sadie, are you okay?” She examines my face. “You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine.” I swallow down the nauseous feeling. “Like I said, I’m just hungry. Get some food in me and I’ll be good to go.”

“I think more food is the last thing you need.” My spine goes stiff, and the nausea increases. “Are you pregnant?" Tina asks. “Because it looks like you're eating for two.”

“How about you go fuck yourself?” Emma spits back. “Seeing how that's the only way anyone will touch you these days.”

Tina eyes Emma up and down, running her tongue over her top teeth. “Are you sure about that?” Tina smirks. “Your boyfriend would say otherwise.”

“You stupid bitch!” Emma lurches for her, but Alice grabs her by the waist, pulling her back.

“She’s not worth it. As much as I want to punch her stupid, ugly face in, she’s just waiting for one of us to do something so she can fuck us over. Don’t give in.”

“You’re a fucking liar!” Emma shouts at Tina.

“Of course she is,” I tell Emma. “That's all she does. Lies to make herself feel better. Brent loves you; he wouldn’t ever cheat on you. And especially not with her.”

“With me, no.” Tina laughs. “But you?” She looks at Emma.

“If anyone is going to touch your man, it’s your bestie.

Didn’t you hear, she’s stealing everyone's men these days.” She shoots her hateful eyes my way.

“You think you have Preston, but he’s only with you to be near his new little boy toy.

You're so repulsive, you’ve turned him gay.

Thanks for that, by the way. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to remind him what he’s been missing. ”

My friends start to fight with her, but I just stand there, the ringing so loud in my ears it’s nearly deafening.

I know what she’s saying is a lie. That she’s just a pathetic woman who has nothing better to do with her life than to make everyone else miserable. Still, no matter how much I tell myself this, my mind doesn't believe it.

Part of me is demanding I defend Preston and Declan, tell her she’s wrong, and that her words are cruel. The other part of me knows that I’m about to puke. My stomach flips, and I slap a hand over my mouth.

Pushing my way past them, I take off down the hall, praying I make it to the bathroom in time as my friends call after me.

Thankfully, I make it into a stall just in time to bring up everything I ate today. “Fuck.” Emma’s voice sounds from behind me as I heave again and again. “This isn’t good,” she says as she rubs her hand over my back.

“We should get the school nurse.” I manage to hear Alice suggest in between gags.

There’s nothing left to bring back up, yet I can’t stop my body from revolting.

My head starts to spin, and my vision goes fuzzy as I struggle to breathe.

Panic starts to set in as I beg my body to stop.

I should have told the guys and let them help me. Tears spill down my cheeks as fear of them hating me adds to the mix.

Now, I’ve gone and made things worse, because there's no way my friends aren’t going to tell them. And knowing how hurt and worried they’re going to be because I kept this from them causes me to cry harder.

This can’t be happening. Not now. Please, body, just stop. Let me breathe.

I’m a mess, sobbing between gags, snot and tears spilling down my face as my body spins out of control.

Their panicked voices that mimic my own are muffled background noises. Thankfully, it’s all about to stop because my eyes roll back into my head, and my body, that’s unable to take anymore, collapses to the ground.