Page 56

RICKY

Aurora breaks off a piece of blueberry muffin and watches me with anticipation. I go to fiddle with my dog tags when I remember I left them behind purposefully.

She’s young, seven years younger than me, gentle and innocent. The little things—cupcakes, snow falling, fancy coffee with hearts on top—light up her eyes. Her delicate demeanor makes her appear even younger, especially compared to my strict country upbringing and military background.

“I don’t know what I want,” I say earnestly. “I thought I did, but everything changed.”

A frown appears on her pouty lips. “So why criticize Jax?”

My veins boil with irritation. “Is that what this is about? Your precious Jackson?”

She pushes her plate away, grabs her jacket, and stands from the booth. “You have no right to be mad or jealous of him. If you don’t know what you want, you can keep your feelings to yourself.”

She turns to leave, and I’m stunned stupid. I shouldn’t be. She’ll defend him to her last breath.

I’m not blaming her, but she has me twisted. I swear, she touched me, and I lost all ability to think straight. I’m terrible at flirting or dating or talking or whatever the hell this is, and she isn’t like other women. She doesn’t play games and has a heart of gold.

I’ve been in the military. I’ve never spent time with a woman, no more than one night. I have no clue what I’m doing. I was living with Aurora when I realized I was falling for her—more than a crush, like some life-altering phenomenon. It’s not as if I could elude it.

The bell above the door rings, breaking me from my thoughts. I throw down two twenties and rush out, cursing myself for not feeding her more.

I catch up to her in a few strides. She doesn’t have her jacket zipped. I fist the front of her hoodie and drag her into the alleyway next to the café. She stumbles and falls into me, her hand landing on my stomach, and I wrap my arm around her waist to steady her.

We’re intertwined like a couple. It’d be so easy to grab her by the chin and kiss her, but I’m positive that’ll get me strung up in a rat-infested basement and left for dead—and that’s only after Jax, Ethan, and the twins kick the piss out of me.

I dip my head, her sweet vanilla scent flooding my senses.

“If you were single, I’d know without a doubt what I wanted.

If I weren’t on a job focused on your fiancé, I’d know what I wanted.

” Just saying it out loud makes shit a whole lot clearer.

Obvious. It’s so obvious. “I want you,” I growl.

“Is that what you want to hear? There’s nothing to do about it, princess. ”

Her chest heaves, her heart thundering. “Why didn’t you tell me? Before?”

I clasp her neck and run my thumb over her skin, trying to soothe her anxiety. “Would it have made a difference? He would’ve come for you eventually, and same with Ethan.”

Her only response is a shuddering breath.

“So you’re right. I am mad. I’m mad he doesn’t deserve you but gets to keep you.

I’m mad you touched me. I’m mad I can’t get you out of my head.

I’m mad your smile makes the rest of my life seem bleak.

I want you more than this job, but it’s all I have.

I’ve done everything right my entire life, played by the books.

Then, fuck, you come along, and all I want is to break every hard-earned rule. All for you. Just to be close to you.”

I attempt to withdraw, feeling vulnerable and foolish, but she refuses to let me go.

Her arms encircle my waist, and she peers up at me with glassy eyes. “I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I loved your company.” Her voice breaks. “I needed you, and you were there for me.” She swallows hard. “You deserve more than just being close to me.”

I weave my fingers into her hair, cradling the back of her head. “What if this is enough for me?”

I’ve lost my damn mind. Despite my denial, it’s obvious I want more.

“What? Being friends? Being my guard? Hugs? Holding hands? All the while being jealous of someone else? You can’t want that. No one wants that.”

Tell that to the idiot in my chest. Sex is great, but have you ever had your entire body light up from holding hands? That’s a total mindfuck and I’ve been lost ever since.

“I want what we used to have. I want you hugging me, talking to me, letting me care for you.” Jesus, I sound desperate. “Tell me you feel nothing for me.”

She must have some interest in me. She lets me touch her and care for her. I’ve observed her around hockey players who she has known as long as Jackson. She doesn’t show them the affection she does me. I was with her when she was barely pregnant, before she found out Ethan was Jackson’s coach.

“No, I’m not saying that. I did...” She bites her lip, unwilling to betray them. “I thought we were close, but you lied to me. I want the friendship we had, but I’m afraid it was a figment of my imagination. I don’t even know your real name.”

“It’s Reece. My name is Reece.”

“Reece,” she says softly, the word hanging in the air.

An icy chill erupts across my skin. Damn, I love how my name sounds on her lips.

“I like that better, but not as much as Viking. It suits you.”

I’m not a Viking—I’m a straight-up Carolina country boy who just lost some of his accent in the military. I initially disliked that she’d adopted Jackson’s nickname for me, but...

“The Viking and the Princess. Perfect.” My smirk is impossible to hold back.

“Stop that. No flirting.” The snow continues to fall, and she draws her jacket tight around her. “You don’t even know how long you’ll be with us.”

I grasp the front of her coat and zip her up. “Come on. Let me feed you for real this time.”

“Can we walk instead?” she asks with those pleading eyes I can’t refuse.

We walk to Bryant Park, where she’s mesmerized by Winter Village and the half-frozen fountain, which continues to spray water, creating massive icicles. The park is not as pretty during the day, and I make a mental note to bring her at night, when it’s lit with Christmas lights.

“I didn’t know this was here.” Her excited gaze bounces from one thing to the next. “You can eat in those igloos?”

She’s dated a wealthy professional athlete and traveled the country over the last year, but she still hasn’t lost that curious innocence. Everything is new, exciting, and fascinating to her.

Between deployment and undercover ops, I’ve been surrounded by the worst of humanity. Being with her is like taking that first breath after drowning.

Like being knocked on your ass by a brick wall of sunshine.

“You have to reserve them, but yeah. You want me to get a reservation?”

She gives me a pointed look. “For all of us?”

“Yes, princess, for your entire harem.” I chuckle and dodge the smack she tries to land on my arm. “How many seats do you need? Are we including the twins?”

“Shut up.” Her face flushes, but she grins along with me. “How do you know about harems anyhow?”

“Reverse harems, you mean?”

She stares at me in disbelief, her eyes widening as if she doesn’t recognize me. It’s comical.

“I’m not illiterate. I’ve had a lot of downtime. In the military, I read anything I could get my hands on to stay sane. It’s a nice escape.”

She drops her gaze, a troubled expression on her face. It’s not what I expected. Perhaps it was the reverse harem comment. She hides in her hood, and I realize people are trickling into the park, making her nervous.

“Let’s sit. I’ll find us a spot.”

I lead us to a bench between two trees, hoping for privacy. The snow has stopped falling, the sun making a rare appearance. She removes her hood but scans the area with apprehension.

She’s a bit of a distraction, but I’ve kept an eye out for anything suspicious or anyone giving her more attention than usual. “You’re okay. I’ve been watching.”

She checks her phone for the time. “We shouldn’t stay long.”

And the playful dynamic between us officially dies.

The atmosphere feels stiff. I’ve taken us out of the possible friend zone and into awkward territory. At least she’s talking to me again and trusts me enough to be alone.

“I’m contracted per assignment,” I blurt out, circling back to her previous statement. “You said I didn’t know how long I’d be with you.”

“And that means...” She picks at her nails and avoids eye contact.

I smile at her complete lack of nonchalance, and I say nothing until she peeks up at me through her lashes.

“Are you asking if I’ll be around, princess? Will you miss me if I leave?”

“Maybe I want you to leave.” She shoves at my shoulder. “I’m being serious. What happens next?”

“Nothing changes. I’m your guard. I go where you go.”

She twirls the ring on her finger. Is she thinking of Jackson? The case? She could be playing me for all I know, but I doubt it.

I give in to my compulsion and take her hand. “I won’t let anything happen...to anyone.” Even Jax.

“And after?”

Her guess is as good as anyone’s. There’s a whole surveillance team on Kyle. They could pull something out of their ass and bring him in. There are rumors he might run for the Senate; we’re all waiting for Kyle’s next move—or Jackson’s.

“Tell me what you want. What’s your ideal future?”

I’m pleasantly shocked when she rests her head on my shoulder. “I don’t mind if we travel with the team, but I want to settle down close to my grandmother. I miss her. I want a permanent place, you know? A home.”

Her wistful words lead me to believe I’m part of her dreams. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“Ethan has coaching, and although Jax will say otherwise, he also has hockey. It’s good for him, and he’s talented. They have each other, they’re close. I want to find my place. I want to have something that’s mine.”

“Hey, look at me.” Her gaze meets mine, our faces only inches apart. “Don’t let their talent outshine yours. You’re incredibly talented in everything you do. It’s in your smile, your eyes, your heart... You captivate everyone. You’re our home, that’s for sure.”

I kiss her nose and turn away before my lips drift any lower.