Page 54

ETHAN

Aurora sleeps soundly. She had a long day, and as soon as Jax fixed her braids, she passed out.

She’s on her side, her head on my chest, her leg between mine. I lie on my back, my arms bent underneath the pillow so Jackson can be close beside her. It’s an awkward position, but once I fall asleep, I’m good.

But tonight, I’m wide awake. My mind keeps replaying the prison visit.

The place was deplorable. Picture an arena after a playoff game—floors black with grime, sticky from who knows what. I’d rather not contemplate what I stepped in.

Scuff marks marred the bland gray walls, and ceiling tiles were missing or rotted. Alarms blared incessantly, punctuated by the shouts of staff and inmates.

If I had visited as a child, I would’ve been scared shitless. Not that my actual childhood was much better, waking many mornings terrified my mother was dead.

The bed shifts. “Dude, I can hear you thinking from over here,” Jackson rasps.

“Sorry.” I don’t know why, but I feel the urge to tell him. “I went to the prison today with Rocco. Saw my father.”

A weight lifts off my chest. I considered telling Aurora, but I didn’t want to burden her with more uncertainties. I also didn’t want to hurt her, since I hadn’t told her I was going. I hadn’t told anyone.

“Shit.” He adjusts his position. “Why? You putting a hit on Kyle?” There’s a smile in his voice. He’s cracking jokes to ease my tension.

“Don’t say that out loud.” I only want Jax and Aurora to be safe. I don’t want to know the details of the rest, but I certainly wouldn’t be sad if Kyle didn’t wake one morning. “They put bugs in Aurora’s apartment, you know?”

He blows out a long, throaty breath. “Motherfucking Ricky. I need to check mine then.”

I drag my fingers through my hair, staring at his silhouette in the darkness. “Have you been careful?”

“Careful? With what I say? Are you really asking me that? I’m about as careful as you fucking an escort in the back of a limo with an expired condom while still married.”

“Jesus Christ, get over it. She seduced me.”

“Fuck you,” he whispers, which, let me tell you, is far more terrifying than him yelling it. “She was on the rebound and sad. You got sad pussy.”

My chest vibrates with silent laughter. “It was definitely not sad, dickhead. Quite needy, actually.”

“I hate you.”

I roll my eyes. “Shut up. You’d miss me if I weren’t here.”

“You and Ricky. He wants her, you know that, right?”

His speech is a tad rushed, and my next words might get me hit, but fuck it. “It’s not a terrible idea.”

“What? Putting a hit on Kyle? I got it handled.”

“Stop saying that.” Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if he’s joking or lacking a filter. Either way, I don’t need him in prison. “No—having Ricky with us.”

A sudden dip in the mattress suggests he’s sitting up, possibly about to throw a punch. “In what universe is he a good idea?”

Our girl stirs at his raised tone, and I lower my voice, not wanting to wake her.

“The one where we both travel. Who’ll care for her? Protect her? The twins aren’t going with us. Are we leaving her alone with the baby in LA? With your father?”

“Are you for real? You only like him because he does what you say.”

“There’s that,” I joke.

But Jax’s voice is anything but playful. “Whatever. I quit.”

His stubborn anger triggers my own. “You’re a brat, you know that? You’re playing. You can give me a season or two for all the shit I’ve done for you.” Even provoked, that was harsher than intended.

“Don’t hold back. Tell me how you really feel, Coach. Are you gonna be in his bed next?”

“What?” A brat, one hundred percent. How did I end up with two brats? “Where the fuck did that come from?”

He doesn’t respond. He lies down and faces away from me.

“All I’m saying is, Ricky knows her. He understands her anxiety. He can handle her panic attacks. He makes sure she eats. He goes all the way across the city for fucking pastries. He’s aware of your father’s history and mine, and he won’t go running to the media. I trust he’ll protect her and you.”

“Whatever. You’re the boss.”

A heavy silence fills the space between us. I should’ve waited until the season started and we were strapped to discuss Ricky.

He sniffs, and I feel like shit.

“Jax—"

“I told you I’d figure out Kyle. I’ll give you until the end of my contract. I want to see this baby, not spend half the year on the road. I respect your goals, but we have plenty of money, and you can win without me.”

I close my eyes and let my frustrations go—for now. “I want the same as you.” Then, a half-ass thought brings a smile to my face. “We could buy a team.”

He scoffs. “We’re wealthy, but we’re not that wealthy. I’m not a billionaire.”

I doubt he even knows his worth, considering all his grandfather’s investments, properties, and businesses.

“We can buy that team in Alaska no one wants.”

“Dude,” he stretches out the word. “There’s a reason no one wants that team, and I am not living in Alaska. What the fuck?”

I grin at his appalled tone. “We don’t have to live there, not year-round.”

“I’d rather live in New York.”

“Perfect. I know an entire organization we can buy.”

He gets it surprisingly fast. “Those are kids.”

“You wanted a hockey team of kids.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” He rolls toward me. “You wanna be with your family? Is that it?” There’s no disdain or mockery in his voice, only understanding and consideration.

I now realize Jax wants one thing, something he’s never had.

We aren’t so different. Some divine intervention put us misfits together, all missing the same thing.

A family.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’ll make a deal with the devil himself if it keeps you and Aurora safe. Besides, it wouldn’t just be my family. It’d be our family.”