Page 4

Jamil

Three weeks later

“Are you seriously still hung up on this girl?” Tommy asked me as we waited for our turn to take some swings on the field.

It was opening week, and our first series of the season was away in Texas.

Tommy had caught me back in the locker room, trying to find Harper for the tenth time over the past three weeks.

Unfortunately, there were thousands of people with that first name living in Washington DC. And not even one of them had dark brown hair or eyes that held the golden highlights of the sun within them.

“I just want to connect.” Tommy saw right through my attempt to sound casual. And because he was my best friend and knew me far better than anyone else, he leveled me with a look to try harder next time.

“Don’t you think she would have left you her number or any way to contact her if she wanted to connect ?”

I didn’t mention that I’d thought that very thing multiple times while up late at night.

Neither of us had been looking for anything more than a distraction.

Hell, I hadn’t even started the night thinking it would end up with a woman in my bed.

I’d tried to move on, I really had. But it was the chemistry I felt that kept me coming back—the kind of tug and pull that had me on my toes.

Or in Harper’s words, a challenge. That single night had me floating on a high through the last few weeks in Florida.

Who could possibly blame me for wanting to reach out?

Tommy placed a hand on my shoulder. “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

“Since when did you start giving sage advice?” I asked him. “You sound like Adam.”

“Well, someone has to do it now that the old man’s gone.”

“Adam is rolling over in his metaphorical baseball grave for calling him old.”

Tommy walked backward toward the plate. It was his turn for practice swings.

“You call him old every other day in our group chat,” he hollered back at me.

He wasn’t wrong. Any time Adam sent another picture of a project he completed on his house during his retirement from the Cougars, I couldn’t help myself.

As soon as Tommy squared up to the plate, the sound of cameras capturing a shot flickered around the stadium.

Tommy’s shoulders stayed relaxed, and he never once glanced over at the group of media waiting to get the perfect picture of him to sell to different online sources.

The only person with a camera that he bothered to look at was his girlfriend, Maggie Redford.

She was one of the team’s photographers, alongside her best friend, Olivia Thompson.

How he let all the attention slide off his shoulders, I wasn’t sure.

Maybe it was because he had already been through the dark side of the media during his partying days back when he played for San Diego, and he learned how to move through it.

Maybe it was because he didn’t care what anyone thought of him or wanted from him except for one person.

It must be nice always having someone as an anchor to keep you steady while the chaos of the world ensued around you. They were the only person to truly see you and without them, you risked drifting farther out to sea until you washed up on an island all by yourself.

I want that.

Hopefully Tommy was right and if it was meant to be, I’d run into Harper again.

“How are things with your brother?” Tommy asked me as we walked back to the locker room.

The question filled me with a deep exhaustion. “He’s in rehab again, but I’m not sure for how long this time.”

Tommy was one of the few people that knew the truth about my brother.

I had never intended for anyone to find out, but he had been over at my house one night when my brother had shown up, desperate for cash to bail him out of a pinch with his bookie.

Ever since then, Tommy had made sure to check on me.

He’d never once offered advice or told me how to handle the situation, which I appreciated, but he’d always been there to make sure I was keeping my head above water.

“Will your family be at today’s game?” Tommy had fallen in love with my niece, Kyla, and Maggie swore he had worse baby fever than most women. He’d even insisted they get her a little Cougars jersey to wear at the games. I put my foot down when I saw him trying to put his number on it.

“They will. They wanted to be at the season opener. I’ll ask Janessa if you can take Kyla for a spin around the bases after the game.” His eyes lit up. “What about your parents?”

Tommy had struggled with his relationship with his father after everything that had happened in San Diego. The two were still figuring out ways to have a healthier relationship that didn’t center around baseball, but it was nice seeing him happy to have his family in the stands.

“They will be here, too. I think they are going to take a month off this season to follow us around. My mom is trying to sell it off to my dad as a way for them to explore different places for retirement.”

“Is baby Kyla coming?” Olivia jumped out of the office she and Maggie were set up in just outside of our locker room as we passed. “Is she going to wear the jersey that Tommy got her? I need to get a picture of that for the socials.”

Olivia and Maggie had become two of my closest friends after the three of us had all started with the team at the same time.

Maggie, who I called Canon for her skill behind her camera, had been a kindred soul and was always there when I needed someone to talk to.

While Olivia had matched my energy from the very first day I met her—the two of us were dangerous on the dance floor together.

“She is coming,” I told Olivia. The two let out a shriek of excitement. To say my niece had become the star of the show in her short four months on this planet was an understatement.

“Cougar fans are going to go crazy over her!” Olivia exclaimed before she and Maggie ducked back into their office to prepare for the game.

“Jamil!” I turned around to see my agent, Nico, walking toward me. There was a wide smile on his face, and I could practically see dollar signs in his eyes whenever he looked at me.

This can’t be good.

Tommy hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll catch you in the locker room.”

A pang settled in my stomach as I watched him disappear around the corner. Most athletes were excited whenever they met with their agent because that normally meant they were bringing good news. However, I’d grown to resent these kinds of meetings.

I knew the routine by this point.

Nico would tell me that another brand wanted to work with me or there was another appearance I needed to make that would bring in even more money. Which meant more signatures, more pictures I needed to pose for, more of myself I had to give everyone else.

When I first started playing, these were the moments I dreamed about.

This was the kind of success and money that would change not only my life, but my family’s.

It was the only reason I hadn’t turned anything away yet.

I’d been able to put my family in good homes and because of that, the number of smiles or public appearances I would endure was infinite.

“Hey, Nico,” I greeted.

My agent’s smile grew impossibly bigger as he prepared for what he was about to tell me. “We’ve got a great opportunity. A few different streaming platforms are interested in doing a documentary on you. A sort of behind-the-scenes into your life. The dollar sign is a big one.”

My stomach dropped.

The thought of the entire world getting an unfiltered look at my life terrified me. I’d spent the last few years trying to keep the pieces of my life out of the media—like my brother.

“I’m not sure that’s something I’m interested in right now.”

Nico narrowed his eyes. He was used to me being open to every opportunity that came our way.

He cleared his throat and placed a gentle hand on my arm.

“I’ll let you sleep on this one. It’s a big opportunity.

I don’t want you to regret letting it slip away.

How about we circle back around to it this week? No rush.”

Nearly every cell in my body was screaming at me to insist that I wouldn’t be doing this one, but the reminder that I would be affecting more people than just myself with this decision had me nodding in agreement.

“Great!” Nico cuffed me on the shoulder enthusiastically. “Have a great game, bud. Give everybody the show they came for.”

Right.

Because I was a product that needed to continue performing well for everyone to collect on their piece of the return.

No pressure.

When I finally stepped out onto the field, I put the outside noise behind me and remembered that it was just me and my teammates. No matter what kind of circus I had been thrown into before a game, I could always rely on how playing the game of baseball made me feel.

Every season felt a little different than the last. This year, Adam Steel wasn’t taking the mound.

The Cougars had a new pitcher from a trade deal that was taking his place.

A few new players filled various positions, but I still had Tommy in front of me at shortstop.

The familiarity of it all was what kept me grounded.

By the end of the game, nothing felt like it could bring my mood down. Not even the few reporters that asked for a comment on the three home runs I hit. Not even the fans asking for autographs on my way to the locker room.

“What a game!” my mother exclaimed when I met my family outside of the locker room. “Look at my baby go.”

“Heck of a way to start the season, J.” My father wrapped me up in a hug, pride shining in his eyes for me. “Your grandparents wish their congratulations as well.”

“Where are they nowadays?” My grandparents stayed in Florida with my family part of the year. They spent the rest of their time traveling the country.

“I think they’re at Niagara Falls. They’re supposed to be in Maine by the end of the week.”

Then I swooped my niece out of Janessa’s arms. “I want kisses from my biggest fan.”

Kyla let out a giggle as I peppered her cheeks with kisses.

“She’s the only groupie that matters,” my oldest sister, Janessa, joked.

Even my younger sister, Jayden, looked excited.

She wasn’t the biggest fan of sports and sat most of my games out, but that never lessened the support I felt from her.

She thrust her phone in front of my face to show me a picture of baby Kyla in her Cougars jersey, rocking her little sunglasses and sun hat.

“Olivia took some of the cutest pictures of Kyla that are quite popular on the Cougars’ social media. ”

This was the reason that I shouldered it all. These people surrounding me made all this worth it.

There was only one person missing.

As if summoned from mere thought, my phone began to vibrate. “Oh, Jordan is video calling.”

A mix of emotions reflected on my family’s faces—excitement, trepidation, anger, sadness.

“Hey, champ,” my older brother’s voice boomed out of my phone’s speakers. “What a way to start a season, am I right?”

“Thanks, man,” I told him. Every time he called, I immediately scanned his background, hoping that he was still at the rehabilitation center and that he hadn’t given up on it again.

Thankfully, I recognized the light blue paint that was on the walls of his room at the facility. My shoulders relaxed.

“When are you coming to visit next?”

My father’s mouth screwed to the side as he wrapped an arm around my mother.

The two of them had done nearly everything to try and help Jordan, but nothing had ever stuck.

When he had announced that he was moving to Chicago to be closer to me, no one thought it would be a good idea.

He needed stability and the support of our family.

That wasn’t something I could fully give him with how busy I was throughout the year.

But he had insisted, and his gambling addiction had only grown worse.

“I’ll try to come see you when I get back from Texas,” I told him, my smile strained.

Growing up, Jordan had been everything to me—my hero.

But the light I had placed Jordan in had started to dim when he began asking for more and more money.

He put me in a difficult position repeatedly when he took the one thing I considered a blessing for our family—my career—and used it to his advantage.

“Wish I was there with you all,” Jordan told everyone.

“We wish you were here, too,” my mother stepped into the view of the camera so she could see her oldest son. “We love you and are proud of you for working on yourself.”

Jordan’s lips pressed into a tight line as he gave our mother a short nod.

I noticed the pink in his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck, so I stepped away from our mother and gave him a breather.

Even though Jordan had put me through hell these past few years, I still loved him and would do nearly anything for him.

“I’ll see you soon, J.” For just a moment, it felt like I had my older brother back—the easy-going guy I had grown up with—and I relished in the moment long after I hung up the call, hoping that maybe this time would be different.