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Jamil

“It just doesn’t feel the same without you here, old man,” Tommy told Adam. We had video called him after getting to the hotel for our first away series of the trip and had propped him up in the corner as we ate dinner.

“When I thought about retiring, I had assumed I would be retiring from these gatherings we always seem to do,” Adam replied.

He was out in his garage, working on another unnecessary project he’d come up with for the house.

After every project he’d completed so far, he sent me and Tommy a picture in our group chat.

He was just as proud of his DIY projects as he was of one of his performances with the Cougars.

“You know you miss us,” I told him as I took a bite of the sandwich that I’d ordered from room service. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t pick up our calls.”

“Maybe I should start ignoring your calls. I’d have fewer interruptions during my projects.

” Somewhere in the background, Adam’s boys were yelling at each other about whose turn it was on their electric scooter.

“Seriously? What did I tell you two? If you can’t share, then you both lose privileges! ”

Tommy nearly choked on his fry from seeing Adam morphing into dad-mode.

“Is that Uncle Tommy and Uncle J?” Adam’s youngest asked as he walked into the view of the camera.

I waved. “Hi, bud!”

“Uncle J, can you tell Daddy that it’s my turn on the scooter?” Adam’s youngest puffed out his bottom lip and gave me his best puppy-dog eyes.

“Oh, no!” I shook my head vehemently. “I’m not getting in the middle of that. Your dad would not be very happy with me.”

Adam’s youngest sighed in defeat before stomping back over to where his older brother must be with the electric scooter to try again.

“How’s the domestic dad-life treating you?” Tommy asked Adam, both of us amused at seeing a hall of fame pitcher being outsmarted by his two little ones.

“I’m running out of things to upgrade with the house.

” Adam brushed his hands off on his pants before reaching to pick up his phone.

“Nora has been on me to get out of the house. I think I’m driving her crazy.

I’ve been given the responsibility of coaching my eldest’s t-ball team and practices don’t last very long when they only have an attention span that lasts about thirty minutes. ”

“What if you got into coaching like Nolan?” Tommy asked. Adam and Nolan were close friends and were the main reason our friend group had grown into what it was. The two clearly had very different ideas about how to approach retirement.

“I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think I’d do professional. I’ve had a few of the local colleges reach out to add me to their coaching staff, but I haven’t decided yet.”

“Wait,” I interrupted, a new idea dawning on me. “Would you do an interview about your life post-retirement?”

Tommy paused mid-bite into his burger when he realized where I was going with this. It took Adam only a moment before he was catching on, too.

“Are you asking me to do an interview with Harper?” Adam cocked an eyebrow and gave me the smallest upward tug of his lip—which was Adam Steel’s signature smile.

I tossed my hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just saying that if you and Nolan sat down to do an interview with her to talk about your experiences, I think it would be an incredibly unique interview and maybe help a few athletes at the same time.

We all know that Nolan would have killed to have someone do that for him. ”

Tommy finished chewing before he asked the question I knew was on everyone’s mind. “Why are you doing this for her? Really?”

Both had been around me long enough to know that I didn’t need a reason to help somebody else. If I saw a way that I could help, I was going to do it.

“When I made this deal with Harper, I told her that I thought it would take some of the heat off of me,” I explained. “But I really just wanted to help her and figure out a way I could keep hanging around her, if I’m being completely honest.”

“Why is it that I always end up having to give one of you two relationship advice?” Adam asked.

“Because you’re the oldest, so that makes you the wisest?” I joked, earning a dry chuckle.

Adam rubbed a hand down his face. “I can’t wait until you two are the oldest on the team and some young rookies come to you with the most idiotic problems. You two must make everything difficult, mustn’t you?”

Tommy leaned forward with a hand on his chest, feigning hurt. “That hurts, Adam.”

“I’ll do the interview, Jamil. But only because my wife will probably think it’ll help get me out of the house.

Just send me the details.” The sound of cries that were quickly turning into full-blown wails could be heard in the background.

Adam sighed and set his hammer down. “I know, I should’ve bought two scooters. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Then the line went dead.

“Are you going to call Nolan?” Tommy asked me as he rolled off the end of the bed to throw the remains of his dinner away.

“I probably should. I don’t want him hearing about it through Adam first.” I thumbed through my contacts until I landed on Nolan’s name.

“I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to get some sleep before the games tomorrow. You should, too.” Tommy started toward the door before drawing short and turning back around. “It’s nice seeing you happy again, J.”

A heaviness settled between us for only a moment.

Tommy had watched me go from the happiest guy in the room and on the field to someone people were used to seeing wear a frown.

The sudden change from last year to this year had turned my world more upside down than getting called up to the league had.

When I first started, I could still go to a restaurant without the fear of being hounded for an autograph or a photo.

I could go to the grocery store like a normal human being.

Now I had my groceries delivered and if I wanted to eat out at a nice restaurant in Chicago, I was asking for a private table.

Tommy was one of the highest paid players in the league, but he didn’t have the kind of fanfare that I had. He didn’t have what felt like pieces of his humanity stripped away from him. He wasn’t living in a glass cage.

“Thanks, Tommy,” I told him before waving goodnight.

After shutting the door, I dialed Nolan’s number and waited for him to answer.

“Jamil! Shouldn’t you be traveling to your next series?” Nolan’s voice came over the speaker—straight to the point, just like him.

“We got to the hotel a few hours ago. How is everything?” The Bobcats were facing down the NFL Draft which was on their doorstep and after the season they had, they were going to have to be tactful with drafting new players.

I knew Nolan was neck deep in game film of young quarterbacks he could pick up that could play behind his new starter, Caleb Willis, who took over after he retired.

“Lottie got sick of watching football, so we’re taking a break tonight and watching one of her favorite reality television shows.”

“With wine!” I heard Lottie shout in the background. “You would love it, J.”

“You’ll have to invite me next time,” I told her. “Look, the reason I’m calling is to see if you’d like to do an interview with Adam about your lives post-retirement.”

There was a pause. “Are you asking me to do an interview with Harper Nelson?”

I sighed. “Why is that so surprising for everyone?”

“Adam asked you the same thing, didn’t he?” I could almost hear the smirk in Nolan’s voice.

“I swear if I get shit from you, too, I will hang up this call and find someone else.” I had no idea who else I would call to replace Nolan. But at the very least, Harper would have Adam to interview.

There was the sound of someone being smacked, followed by a yelp of pain from Nolan before I heard Lottie on the other end. “He’ll do it!”

“Great, thank you. I’ll send you the details once I have them.

” I hung up before Nolan could talk himself out of it and sent a quick thank you text message to Lottie before I settled back in my bed.

Only for my phone to go off once more. With a groan, I picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

“J?” The sound of my brother’s voice on the other end of the line was both jarring and reassuring all at once.

“Jordan?” I shot up in bed. This was the first time I’d heard his voice since the opening series of the season.

“I wasn’t sure if you were asleep yet,” Jordan said. There was a cautiousness to his voice that I wasn’t used to hearing.

“Not yet.”

“How’s the hotel?”

The conversation felt awkward and uncomfortable—like two strangers and not two brothers who’d known each other their entire lives.

But it was also the first conversation that I’d had with Jordan in a long time where it didn’t feel like it was leading toward him asking for more money or for insider information that he knew I couldn’t give him so he could gamble.

“It’s nice. We’re in Boston tonight and then we go to New York to play against the Reveres and then Brooklyn.”

“That’s a long away series trip,” Jordan exclaimed. He’d clearly been preoccupied with other things than my whereabouts recently.

“I’m off next Wednesday. Would you want to have lunch together?

I can bring something by?” I was fully expecting Jordan to brush off my offer.

He hated when I visited him at the facility, like he was ashamed for me to see him there.

Despite the countless times I’d told him how proud I was that he was making the effort to work on himself.

“I’d like that. Could you bring some South Side pizza?” I wasn’t sure what shocked me more—that he agreed to lunch or that we were having a normal conversation.

“You bet,” I told him. “Meat lovers, right?”

Jordan laughed. The sound felt like an electric shock to my heart. “You remembered.”

“Would never forget it. What are you up to tonight?”

I could hear a faucet turn on in the background. “I just got back from the gym. My therapist suggested I try to find a few different hobbies that are healthier than .?.?. what I currently do.”

“What else did they suggest?” I tried not to sound too excited. I learned that lesson a long time ago. The second I got excited that Jordan may be turning a corner, my brother would clam up and bail—breaking my heart in the process.

“Video games, if you can believe it. He said I can work my way up to playing sports games, but that for right now it’s best if I avoid them.”

It almost felt like old times with the two of us sharing our interests with one another. “I’ll send you my gamer tag. We can play together when I’m home.”

This time when Jordan laughed, I filed it away as I tried to replace all the memories over the past few years.

“That would be awesome. I can introduce you to some of the friends I’ve made playing online.” Jordan paused. “I should let you go so you can get some rest. We can talk again when you’re free. I’m proud of you, J.”

I pulled the phone away from my face to muffle a sob that crawled its way up out of my chest. “I’m proud of you, too, Jordan.”