Page 98 of Trapped With You

There are certain moments in your life where you feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience. You’re physically there, rooted in your spot, but your mind and spirit have driftedaway and are watching the entire scene unfold from a different view.

That’s what it felt like right now.

The wind knocked out of his sails, Cade faltered back a step. “No.”

“Yes,” I confirmed, feeling bleak, fatigued, and way past done. “I was five weeks pregnant.”

Cade was frozen, but the haunted quality veining over his features, twisting them into something utterly broken, spoke volumes. “No. Goddammit,no, Ella.”

“I miscarried the night of the party.”

I’d seen Cade tormented once when he recounted the story of his past. But it was nothing compared to my revelation, which seemed to physically crush him. His posture sagged and his hands twitched, reaching out for me until they decided against it. “Ella, I’m so sorry…”

I smiled wryly, tears stinging my eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“But it does.” He stepped up to me again, a light trembling taking over his body. Up close, his own eyes held a sheen of moisture. “I’m so sorry.” His hands cupped my face and I let him. “I’m so fucking sorry you went through that, Ellie. You didn’t deserve it.”

I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear those words. My own self-destructive thoughts had chanted that I’d deserved it—that it was karma for all the shit I’d done.

In my book, there were only two things I wished for: a happy ending with my princepin and a family of our own. I always wanted to be a mother. Cade knew it too. Although nineteen was young, I’d already loved the little life growing inside of me and I was ready to protect and raise it. Despite knowing my parents would disapprove of a teenage pregnancy.

When I miscarried our baby, I was devastated.

“Who knows about this?” Cade urged.

“Only you,” I whispered. “I couldn’t tell anyone.”

“Fuck, Ella, you were completely alone.” His deep voice shook with pain. “You should have talked to me. I would have been there for you.”

I knew he would have, but he was the last person I wanted to see. “It’s all right. I found ways to cope.”

“Like what?”

My throat worked with a rough swallow and my fingers curled into the lapels of his leather jacket. “I knitted a onesie for our baby.”

Raw ache splattered over his expression. Cade released a strangled noise and pressed his forehead to mine, tucking my hair behind my ears and holding on to the strands like an anchor. “God, Ella. I’m so sorry, baby.

I sucked in a choppy inhale and to my mortification, a tear swept down my face. I didn’t cry often. It made me feel weak. But sometimes the strongest souls cried, not because they were weak, but because they’d been tough for too long, right?

Cade followed the trail with his lips, ending it by pressing a kiss to my right eyelid. My imperfectly, perfect eye. That singular gesture caused another tear. Until a small waterfall cascaded down the slopes of my cheeks.

Myqueridowrapped his arms around me and I melted into his embrace, needing his touch now more than ever. His uneven breaths matched mine as my tears soaked his collar.

For the first time in weeks, my heart calmed down in the presence of its companion, its erratic fluttering slowing until Cade’s and my rhythm beat in unison. A lulling symphony that could only be heard by us.

“When did you realize you were pregnant?” he murmured.

“A few hours before the party. I took a pregnancy test to confirm. My periods were late and I was suspicious.”

“Five weeks you said, right?”

I heard the question in his voice.

“Yes, we conceived in June…on prom night.”

C H A P T E R20

Plot twist