Page 58 of Traitor
“I’m not an idiot. I’ll handle things here.”
“Don’t fuck it up, Mercy,” I say, then end the call.
I’d pay for the comment later, but I didn’t care. I come around the curve to Peyton’s place seconds later, tires screaming and spitting gravel. She meets me on the porch, her arms wrapped around her waist. Her gaze pins me to the seat of her tiny ass car the way it cuts through me. The soft sweater she’s wearing bares one of her shoulders. Her golden-blonde hair tumbles down her back.
I want nothing more than to charge right up to her and take her into my arms, console her. Make it all better. I need to feel her against me, but because I need it so much, want it so much, I force myself to take measured steps across the small yard and up the steps.
“Are you hurt?” I ask first, surprised that it wasn’t the first thing I’d asked Hadley when he told me.
Her gaze is shuttered closed. Impenetrable. She’s not locked inside her house this time, but that doesn’t mean she’s letting me inside her head or heart right now, either. Guess I wasn’t the only one dealing with the fallout. Or not dealing with it.
“Are you hurt?” I repeat.
She shakes her head. “I’m fine.”
Woman-speak for you should know I’m not fine.
“Let’s go inside.”
She doesn’t move. “I’m fine out here.”
“What happened?”
“Alice shut down the store today. Lola was her sister, you know? So I had lunch with Uncle Bradley. We argued. I walked home to cool off.”
“Alone?” I cut in.
She ignores me. “A little while after I got home, someone came in. Started looking around. I want to say it was someone looking for easy cash, but I don’t know anymore. The cops didn’t seem to take it seriously.”
“They should have.”
Her shoulder lifts, dismissing me. “It doesn’t matter. They’ve found the woman and that’s all that matters. Are you okay?”
“I’m all right. What did you and your uncle argue about?”
“He thinks it’s too dangerous here. That I should go home.”
The opening is easy, so I take it. Better to get it over with than drag it out. “Maybe your uncle is right.”
Her eyes widen. She wasn’t expecting me to agree with him. No doubt she was prepared to have me beg to keep her, ask her to stay, or maybe not. But I’d rather be damned to hell than put her in danger.
“What do you mean? I thought you said everything was going to be okay.” Her words are as dull as her eyes, and it cuts me deep to know I’m the reason for it after seeing them filled with such life.
I pace the porch, knowing if I don’t get the words out I won’t ever be able to say them. “That was before you nearly got yourself killed. It’s not safe for you here, and if you weren’t being so damn stubborn you’d be able to see that.”
Her back goes up and she clenches her fists by her sides. I can see the anger light her eyes and wish I wasn’t so damn stubborn myself. If I were any closer, I’d be worried she’d put that right hook to good use.
“I’m never safe anywhere,” she says, throwing her hands up in the air. “That’s what the two of you don’t seem to understand. I can’t live my life like I’m going to die. I can’t always play it safe.”
“I don’t give a damn about what I don’t understand. I thought I could keep you protected, but if the last twenty-four hours haven’t proven the opposite, then I don’t know what to tell you.” A million different scenarios race through my thoughts and all of them end with me findinghercovered in blood.
“It’s not your job to be my protector. I’m with you because I want to be.” She swallows audibly and my chest goes tight. “What are you trying to say here, Ford? That you’re scared because something might happen to me? Or that you’re scared because something is happeningwithme.”
I turn my back to her and press my palms into the deck. She sounds so hurt and it makes me sick to my stomach. But I’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means breaking her heart. “If that’s what you want to believe, then fine. But you know I’m right. It’s insane for you to stay here.”
Her steps follow me to the railing. Her touch is hesitant at first as she reaches me, the tips of her fingers tracing along my bunched shoulders and down my arm to grab the hand I didn’t know was digging into the rail. I should push her away, but I can’t make myself do it.
“Nothing happened to me. I’m fine.”