Page 48 of Traitor
“Something like that. He worries.”
“Does he know about…”
“Yes, and that’s why I don’t want to worry him more than he already is. As much as I love him, I need my space now to live my life. If he had it his way I’d stay in his little perfectly controlled bubble where nothing could ever happen to me.” I think of Lexie and if something were to ever happen to her, I’m not sure I’d react any differently than Peyton’s uncle. Before I can say as much, she holds up a hand. “Don’t even say it. I don’t want to hurt you before we’ve even got to where we’re going. Where are we going anyway? My boss, Alice, mentioned something about the real Windy Point?”
My thumb idly caresses her fingers and I decide I could absolutely get used to this. “We’re going near there. Not quite up that high, since it’s your first time, but I thought you’d enjoy seeing the river out there, it feeds into the lake. Lots of great views and critters to see. I figured you wouldn’t want to stay cooped up.”
For some reason my words cause her to lean over and kiss my cheek. “Who knew inside such a grumpy exterior there’s a big old softie?”
Uncomfortably intrigued by the way her eyes shine up at me with something like affection, I say, “I’ll remind you of that when we’ve been hiking in the woods for a couple hours, and you’re near ate up by mosquitos and starving.”
But she isn’t daunted. “It sounds divine,” she says.
I take her up the highway toward Windy Point and veer off at a signage proclaiming it a historic landmark. We don’t go all the way down the road, however, instead we turn off on a side road and park in the designated parking area. Even though we’re not all the way up to the top of the mountain, the views are still spectacular. Thick, lush forests topping the peaks in every direction.
It stuns me to realize I already know her well enough to be certain she’s thinking about how to best capture what’s in front of us on canvas.
“I can’t get over how beautiful it is here,” she tells me, as I gather our gear from the back and load it up. She shocks me by taking a pack of her own and shouldering it. “You’re lucky I didn’t bring any supplies, or I’d keep you out here for days trying to capture this light alone.”
“Sounds like heaven to me. I’d bring a couple beers and one of those hammocks and I’d be good to go.” What I don’t say is that I’d be more interested in watching her work than getting some shut-eye. From what little I’ve seen of her at work, she’s a sight to watch when she’s distracted and intent upon whatever images in her mind she’s trying to bring to life. If I’m being honest, I could watch her for hours.
I take her hand and lead her to a marked trail that disappears between the bases of large trees, whose tops seem to brush the clouds. It’s like being on the top of the world. For a woman who’d spent an eternity locked behind four walls and a roof, it must feel like flying—or at least—that’s what I’m going for.
Peyton’s smiling, so I figure I’m on the right track. “Really? You wouldn’t mind doing nothing out here while I worked?” She sounds shocked and then I remember she hasn’t seen me at my best. Then again, who has in the past couple years?
“Babe, I spent hours sitting in a lookout in the middle of the desert with a lot less attractive view. Being out here with you, watching you work—seeing you happy in your element—I have to tell you, that’s no hardship.” As soon as I say the words, I realize how right they feel and how much I want that in my life.
“Spoil me like that and I could get real used to it.”
I glance back as we crest the first incline. Already my thighs are loose from the exertion and sweat lines my brow. A thrum beats a steady rhythm of happiness in my chest. Maybe it’s the endorphins from the exercise; maybe it’s the way she’s smiling up at me again. I’m collecting those smiles like a miser. I want to keep them all to myself. “Maybe I’d want you to get used to it.”
She makes a humming sound in the back of her throat. “You don’t mind that I’m not really into the whole public dinner date thing? You seemed to know I’d prefer being outdoors like this, but I want to be sure. I want you to have a good time, too.”
“Do I look like the kind of man who prefers fine dining over a burger?” I roll my shoulders and lead her up another crest. “Besides, I get twitchy in big crowds. The noise, the people. It makes me a bit claustrophobic. I prefer the mountains to the Met any day.”
A half hour or so later, we reach the destination I’d picked out, a cliff with a view of the river cutting through the rock in either direction. The moment she sees the view, she gasps and hurries to the ledge. She lifts her face up to the light, and I know I picked the perfect place to let my caged bird fly.
I didn’t plan on her, flat-out didn’t want her, once I realized how much she’d gotten under my skin, but seeing the way she takes pleasure in the sunset reminds me of a life I thought I’d lost a long time ago.
At first, I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in a body. Any body. But when we’d made love, she forced me to be present rather than drowning myself in her sweet oblivion. It was her eyes. Those big brown eyes so full of pain. She’d tried to hide it when I first met her, but I could see straight through her mile-wide grin to the agony she kept hidden underneath.
I recognized a piece of myself in her and I wanted to know more. Then after I had a taste of her, I knew I’d need another and another until it became a part of me.
When the light grows dark, I take her hand. “We’d better get back before we walk ourselves right off the cliff.” She squeezes my hand in reassurance, and for the first time, I don’t want to push someone away.
“My uncle is in town for a bit. I think he said something about watching some game at the sports bar. Do you want to come over for a drink or something?”
There’s no way in hell I’d say no to that, and we’re on the road as soon as I can get the Jeep into gear. I’ll admit, I take the roads a little too fast, wanting to get back to her place as soon as possible. Already, I’m thinking about getting my mouth on her. I need to hear her panting for me like I need my next breath. The way she shifts and fidgets in the seat next to me tells me she’s in just as much of a rush.
I take the first curve back into town going nearly sixty-five. Peyton leans into my side and I realize I need to calm it down before I get us both into trouble and forgo any chance at getting her naked again. I tap the brakes, but the Jeep doesn’t respond. As we pick up speed, my hands grow damp on the wheel.
“Ford?” Peyton asks, a slight edge to her voice. “What’s wrong?”
The moment the Jeep begins to speed out of control underneath my grip, as we take another curve throttling up to seventy-five, adrenaline spikes. “Hold on,” I tell Peyton beside me.Just hold on.
From the corner of my eye, I see Peyton grip the handles on the dash and above her head. Her face has gone sheet white. I get a flash of despair. I can’t let anything happen to her. Not yet. It’s too soon.
I don’t want to lose anyone else.
The echo of another voice, another life, rings around me. I remember telling Ryan Tate something similar the night we were attacked and my whole world changed. The Jeep gains speed as we careen down the mountain, and I’m overwhelmed by the same stifling dread.
Thinking quickly, I try to recall the upcoming bends in the road. There are a couple more before the road levels out and spits out into a long highway that leads into town. If we can make it through the curves without losing control and without accelerating to dangerous speeds, we might make it.
We have to.