Page 50 of Toxic
Gracin slides a couple crumpled dollar bills across the counter as she slams two chilled glasses down in front of us. I take a sip to keep my hands busy and twist in my swiveling chair to study the rest of the bar. Gracin keeps his back to a corner as he doesthesame.
There aren’t many patrons this time of day, and those who are here seem to be solely focused on drinking as much alcohol as possible. I don’t see anyone who looks like they would be involved with Danny, but what doIknow?
Gracin leans forward and grabs ahold of my chair. It screeches against the scuffed tile floor as he pulls it over to him, so close that I can feel the heat comingfromhim.
I lift my brow in question, and he leans down and says, “Play along,” in my ear, causing me to shiver then his lips brush againstmyskin.
His arm goes to the back of my chair, and he props one foot up on the rung underneath. I take a few deep swallows from my beer before leaning against him and glancing up. I’m so close to him that I can see his eyes have flecks of gold in them. His eyes find mine, and before I can react, he leans down tokissme.
This time, I don’t fight him. I don’t know if it’s the beer, though I only had a few sips, the conversation, or his closeness. The only thing I do know is it isn’t a game. Every touch and taste is one hundredpercentreal.
His hand comes to my hair as he deepens the kiss and angles my head up to take everything he has to give me. My hands come up to grip his shirt, and I whimper against hismouth.
“They just walked in,” he says against my lips. “Don’t look, and laugh when I tellyouto.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond because his fingers tighten in my hair the same way they did that night in my hallway. I’m so lost in the lust of the memory that I almost miss him whisper, “Now,” before hepullsaway.
Feeling a little drugged, I laugh over the rim of my beer and down the rest to cool the heat rising within me. I wave at the bartender and use the opportunity to lookaround.
It would be hard not to spot them right away as loud as they’re being. There are three of them who saunter across the bar to the pool tables. They’re dressed way too nice to be regular patrons, but the way the others’ eyes slither over them like they aren’t even there makes me think they’ve been here before and they’retrouble.
Gracin toys with my hair idly as he covertly watches the three of them rack the balls and cue up a table. If I weren’t as tuned into him as I am, I’d never suspect he isn’t focused on me. I remember getting the same hyper-focused impression from him when I realized he wasn’t after me just to get some ass. It’s like the cogs in his brain are turning at triplespeed.
I take another gulp of beer because he may be focused on the men across the bar, but I’m not. Ever since I got another taste of him, my body’s been clamoring for more, and all I can think about is getting another. He’s situated us so my chair is positioned in the V of his legs. One of his hands rests casually on the bar, and the other is on the back of my chair, twisting around the ends ofmyhair.
“I love this,” he says as he runs his fingers through the lengthofit.
“Do you?” I ask dryly. “I hadn’tnoticed.”
“Hmm. The first time I saw you with it wrapped up I wanted to take it out and see it all around you. I couldn’t stop thinkingaboutit.”
“Why?” My voice sounds hoarse tomyears.
He makes a noise in the back of his throat. “I’m not sure. Maybe because you seemed so uptight. I wanted to loosen you upabit.”
“You have a funny way ofdoingthat.”
“Worked,didn’tit?”
I consider my current state of affairs. My limbs are loose due to my second mug of beer, and my hair is spread out over my shoulders. Even after all that’s happened, I’m out of Michigan and free, so to speak, of the relationship that was slowlykillingme.
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” I say, and I realizeit’strue.
“I don’t think the world is any worse off having lost him,” Gracin says, his hand coming to rest on my neck underneathmyhair.
“Is that why you say you aren’t sorry for whathappened?”
“Partially,” he replies. I wish he would look at me. “But mostly because I can’t be sorry that you’re alive. I never planned on being a father. I’m not sure I’d make a good one,” he says ruefully. “But I do know I don’t know what would happen to me if you hadn’t made itthatday.”
My throat closes, and I take another sip of beer to clear the emotion weighing there. Maybe the drunks at the counter are onto something. I feel better than I have in a long, long time. Or maybe it’s the comforting feeling of Gracin’s hands now whispering alongmyback.
“It’s time,” he says and gets to his feet. He holds out a hand for me, and I take it withouthesitation.
The three men are finishing their game of pool when Gracin pulls up beside them. I don’t have to act drunk because after two beers on a semi-empty stomach and having a low alcohol tolerance to boot, I’mbuzzed.
“’Sup?” one of the men says. His brows are pinched and wary as he crosses his arms over his chest, his discomfort with Gracin’s commanding appearanceapparent.
Gracin jerks his chin. “What’s the buy-in for tonight’s game?” He starts digging in hispockets.