Page 87 of Touch the Sky

“I just can’t…”

I start pacing, tugging on my hair as I fight to find even a thread of sense somewhere inside me.

“I can’t see a future where this works out. I can’t put that much at risk, but I can’t keep going like this either.” I shake my head, my boots skidding in the gravel as I whirl around to face her. “I’ll go crazy, I swear. Wanting you this bad all the time. I’ll lose it.”

Her jacket is rumpled, her face flushed. She looks as desperate as I feel.

“I think I am already losing it,” she says.

She takes a step closer.

I do the same. It’s like I have no choice. It’s like there’s nowhere else to go except to her.

We stop when we’re just inches apart. Her gaze drops to my mouth. I watch her watch me. The hunger on her face is almost threatening, like she’d tear me apart with her teeth if I moved any closer.

I lean in.

Her fingertips brush my wrist.

“I need…”

Her voice is ragged. Her grip slides up my arm.

I close my eyes again. The dreamy haze is back. The whole world turns thick and slow.

“Just touch me,” I say, my eyelids fluttering when her palm cups the back of my neck. “Just like that.”

Maybe if I let myself have this, the electric tingle of her thumb tracing the top of my spine, I can forget about needing more.

“You feel so fucking good,” she mutters. “What if we just…?”

She trails off, her thumb going still. I crack my eyes open.

“Just what?”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s a stupid idea.”

“Tell me.”

She lets go of me, dropping her arm back to her side, and it’s almost like the sun itself grows darker.

Everything is brighter when she touches me.

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and takes a few deep breaths to steady herself.

“We both do not have room in our lives for relationships, right?”

My brain is sluggish enough it takes me a moment to process her question. Then I nod.

“Right.”

“And we know this is too complicated to work.”

She gestures between us. I wince at the finality of the statement, but again, I nod.

“Right.”

She opens her mouth and then snaps it shut, grinding her jaw for a second before she gets to the next part.