Page 44 of Tortured Soul (Soulless #1)

Lola

I t’s been three days.

And still no word from Dimitri.

I kept debating with myself whether or not I should sneak out and look for him, but a lot of reasons made that idea a really bad one.

First off, I had no idea where to search. I could try and steal a map from Carrie’s office, but I had absolutely no ideas about when it would be empty or where to look once in there.

Second, my comings and goings were—strangely enough—closely watched. Every time I walked too close to the guarded front gate, one guard always came to ask me what I needed and make me understand that I wasn’t to leave without permission.

Third, even if I turned myself invisible and left, Arc would notice and probably find a way to come after me.

I didn’t like any of that. It all felt like I was no longer a resident but more of a prisoner, and I needed to understand why they were making such a fuss about me staying here.

I reluctantly knocked on Kai’s office and stepped in as soon as he invited me in, not wasting any time.

“Lola!” he cheered, standing up from behind his desk. “Good to see you, I’ve been worried that you were avoiding me.”

I forced a smile. “I was.”

His eyes widened in shock. Was it faked? Or did he not realize that I was actually uncomfortable about what he had asked of me?

“Oh. Did I do something wrong?”

I made sure to keep my mind as blank as possible, since too many things felt off.

“I’m here to return the opal,” I said, choosing not to answer him, my arm outstretched in front of me and hovering over his desk. “Seems like I won’t need it anymore as I’m forced to live with Arc now.”

He cocked a brow, not reaching for the rock on my open hand.

“Forced?”

I tilted my head to the side. “What, didn’t he tell you? We made a dumb binding promise that he won’t let me out of.”

He looked down at my exposed palm holding the milky stone. Hell, take the damn opal already. Underneath, the intricate lines made of our mixed blood was striking against the pale color of my skin.

“He forced you into a binding promise?”

The confusion on his face made me pause. “Well, no . But he twisted the words and used them—”

“I don’t understand,” he cut me off, shaking his head. “Why are you forced to live with him, then?”

“ Because , he twisted the damn binding promise to his advantage!”

His eyes glazed over slightly before he sighed and let himself fall back on his chair.

“You let your energy run so low that you were attacked?”

A loud gasp escaped my lips and I felt the urge to look around to see if I startled anyone other than myself. Of course not, you’re alone with Kai in here, you dumb—

“How could you let that happen?” he asked, and I almost felt like hiding myself in shame. Was this an Archdemon power that I was still reacting to? “Fuck, Arc must have been pissed.”

I couldn’t hold the wince from pulling at my face and he noticed. His eyes did the weird thing again before they widened.

“Okay, you gotta stay out of my damn head,” I cringed, dropping the stupid rock on his desk and waving my hands around me. “ That is one of the reasons I’ve been avoiding you. You can’t rummage in there like it’s your fucking purse.”

“Lola, it’s a big deal,” he started. “Arc’s powers are a secret and—”

“Wasn’t that what you wanted?” I interrupted him sharply. “For him to release his repressed demon onto the world or some shit?”

“No.” Kai shook his head, the motion slow. “I wanted him to find a balance . And I thought that finally finding his mate and spending time with her would help him do just that. ”

The scoff that escaped my throat was anything but amused. It was a dry and cold sound that made him rear his head back and his brows scrunch down.

“Right, mate . Thank you for the heads up, by the way! Don’t you think I deserved to know?”

“You did, yes, but it was not my place to tell you. It’s not my fault Arc decided to wait despite my advice.”

“I’ve been avoiding you for weeks because I was uncomfortable thinking you asked me to fuck your friend because of what I was! If I had known, it would have—”

“It would have what, Lola?” Kai asked, his tone firm, but not unkind.

“From what I’ve seen, you couldn’t feel the link between your souls.

If you don’t feel it, it becomes just a meaningless word.

Would you have wanted to get closer to them, then?

How has it been working out since you found out, uh?

Has that word made you closer, or resent them even more? ”

The air got stuck in my throat as I fell on the chair, feeling defeated. Kai’s eyes softened, the dark brown of his eyes turning comforting. He leaned forward, pushing the little stone aside and grabbing my hand over his desk.

“Lola,” he said softly. “I’m sorry if what I asked you came across as inappropriate.

I was only trying to suggest that you guys spend time together.

I was hoping to awaken the somehow dormant mating link inside you while also trying to make a point with Arc’s obvious lack of balance between his two sides.

The sex part was only a poor attempt at lightening the mood, as I knew you guys were attracted to each other. ”

He paused, tilting his head to try and catch my gaze. If he tried to hear my mind now, it would probably be a maze of disparaging thoughts.

“But Lola, you have to understand that when I mentioned the need for Arc to loosen the leash on his demon, it was to avoid what happened in that alley. He didn’t tell me about it, but seeing it in your mind?

If someone other than Carter or you had been here, it would have been utter panic.

What sane demon would trust an Immortal being capable of destroying them without breaking a sweat? ”

“Don’t you trust him?” I gritted out .

He chuckled, shaking his head. A few strands fell over his eyes and he pushed them out of his face with his free hand, squeezing mine a little tighter with the other.

“Arc and I have known each other for a really long time. I’ve seen him go through a lot, always one of his side leading while the other was repressed.

And let me tell you, even though he lacks balance now, when his demon is holding the reins?

It’s not a pretty sight. I tried for years to help him find stability, but I could always feel that something was missing, preventing him from finding his footing.

And when you showed up, I thought you could be the key.

“His mate. He thought he’d never have one for the longest time, and then, he had a vision.

He saw himself connected to another soul, and that soul connected to others.

I don’t think you realize how long he’s been waiting for you.

Hoping for you. For his mate. He spent the majority of his life on his own and hunted down by both sides for what he was.

Is it really wrong of me to wish that my friend finally finds his place?

His peace? The piece of his soul that he’s always been longing for? ”

It wasn’t. If I had managed to keep any friends other than Dimitri over the long centuries I’ve lived, I would have wanted them to be happy too. Especially if they always felt out of place.

“But I’m sorry,” Kai continued. “For making you uncomfortable. I won’t apologize for not telling you, though. It wasn’t my secret to share.”

I gave him a noncommittal grunt.

“Are you still upset?” he asked.

“I need you to promise not to look through my head anymore,” I said. “I thought Archdemons could only do that to their tie groups. I thought I could finally let my damn mind breathe now that I was free.”

Something akin to pain crossed over his face, but he nodded anyway.

“And don’t do that to Dimitri either,” I added, my voice lower.

He scoffed, leaning back into his chair and letting go of my hand. “I haven’t had the pleasure to officially meet him but yeah, I don’t want to get stuck into a mad mind, thank you.”

At least he was aware about the risk of rummaging through a Nephilim’s head.

“Plus, isn’t his Immortal parent a Divine? ”

“Indeed,” I confirmed. “But since there are sometimes Vampires in demonic tie groups and you confirmed you had the renowned but elusive Vladimir Maartos in yours for a while, I wondered if maybe you could also hear Divine blooded Immortals.”

He shook his head, crossing his hands over his stomach casually.

“Vampires who join tie groups do it of their own free will. I’ve never been able to hear any thoughts coming from them.”

That must have been complicated. Archdemons liked to control everything that happened. That explained why very few of them actually had Vampires.

But again, Kai seemed different from all the other ones I’d worked for.

“Do you mind me asking something?” His voice sounded a bit uncertain.

I nodded. “Ann mentioned that you’ve been distant the last couple of days.

” A knot formed in my stomach. “When she came to visit you in the archives as she enjoyed doing since you arrived, you’ve barely spoken to her.

Is there something wrong? She’s been really upset about that. ”

My eyes focused on the bookshelves to the side, taking everything to not look at him directly.

“Is it because of me?” he prodded further.

“It’s not.” I sighed. “I’m figuring things out, and I’m not ready to talk or confront people about it.”

He seemed to ponder on that for a while, maybe forcing himself not to look through my mind for a more direct answer. I dared him to, lifting an eyebrow in his direction.

The sound of his throat clearing was loud in the silence around us.

“Alright.” He forced a smile. “Just know that she cares about you. You should talk to her, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding.”

Maybe it was. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right .

“Anyway. So, living with your mates now, huh?” He chuckled, taking the stone to stash it away, disgust on his face.

I guess that even though I’d washed it a couple of times, it was still acting like a repellent.

I hoped it wouldn’t keep him away from his own office.

Maybe I should have waited a couple more days before returning it. “Must be…fun? ”

“It isn't .”

“Carter’s still acting like a giant ass?”

That was an understatement, but also something I had no idea how to answer.

“Not sure how to describe his attitude these last two days. He’s been strangely calm most of the time, and almost pleasant, only to go back to sneering and avoiding me when I get back in the evenings.”

He frowned, seemingly lost in thoughts. I’d spent my last two dinners with Marcus, enjoying pizza and a lighter atmosphere.

Which made Arc obviously upset.

Everytime I came back at night, I found both Arc and Carter waiting in the living room with angry scowls, only for Arc to grab my hand and lead me to his room in silence while the Divine jerk muttered insults and sneered.

When I left the bathroom, Arc was lying in bed shirtless, all the lights turned off.

The only sign he wasn’t actually sleeping was the fact that the second I joined him, he pulled me against his side.

When I woke up in the morning, he was in the shower and I escaped again, always walking into Carter who suddenly turned kinda nice.

I wasn’t sure why they were mad at me. They’ve been the one playing around with my confusing feelings, lying their asses off, and, at least for Arc, manipulating the binding promise.

“It’s been challenging,” I added, forgoing any details. “I’m not sure it will ever work out.”

This time, the smile that pulled at his lips was sincere. He chuckled. “Oh, you’ll get there. Once you guys finally stop fighting it and get all that pent-up sexual tension out, it’ll click in your brains. All these bad feelings will feel like they were never here.”

My scoff was dry. “I thought we agreed that you asking me to fuck your friends was inappropriate?”

He leaned forward to grab my hand in his again, laughing out loud.

“I’m not saying you should fuck my friends , I’m saying you should fuck—”

“Am I interrupting something?” Arc’s cold voice sounded behind me and Kai’s eyes widened.

He gulped. “— your mates ,” he continued.

I turned around slowly, only to find one of said mates at the door, hand clasping the handle tightly, the other one turned into a fist at his side .

His mismatched gaze was locked on Kai’s hand covering mine, and the Archdemon pulled it back slowly.

“Arc. We were just talking about you.”

“Were you?”

My throat bobbed, my heart missed a few beats, and my palms turned clammy.

“Arc, it’s not—” Kai started.

“Lola, you’re not missing dinner tonight. You had enough time to cool down, and I’m done walking on eggshells. Let’s go.”

I should have told him to fuck off.

After all, he had no idea what I was mad about, so how dare he say that two days was enough time? I definitely could be mad at him for decades, I had experience with that.

But the look on Arc’s face and Kai’s obvious unease scared me a little.

Not for me, since I was pretty sure mates couldn’t really hurt each other—which Carter had confirmed by saying that beating me on that first day had caused a deep ache he couldn’t shake.

No, I was kind of scared for Kai, as Arc’s murderous gaze was so dark he was probably a few seconds away from bursting him out of existence.