Page 36 of Tortured Soul (Soulless #1)

Lola

K ai never showed up to ask for the file Arc mentioned, and Ann stayed with me until the night had almost fallen.

I was starting to think Arc sent me there on a false pretense to be sure I wouldn’t pester him about his attitude toward Dimitri. But it was fine, really. I was willing to stay here until he’d drag me out himself.

Thinking about it all afternoon, I reached the decision that as soon as Dimitri was back, we would be out of here. I couldn’t deal with Arc’s hot and cold behavior and his weird agenda, nor Carter and our constant fights.

The only thing I needed to do before I could leave was to get Arc to revoke the binding promise.

Yes, he was definitely getting the brat tonight.

I walked between the shelves, glancing at the old books’ spines and occasionally picking one to browse the pages. Most of them must have been hundreds of years old, written by Immortals about their life hidden among humans, or by humans who discovered our existence.

I also looked at Carter’s file, hoping to finally know how he fell—obviously to throw it at his face later—but all the Guardian’s and his were surprisingly empty.

As I walked in yet another row, something moved behind me.

I froze on the spot and waited, all my senses on high alert. But no one was here. There were no footsteps, no unusual smell, no cloud of smoke.

I resumed my pace, holding my hands at my back, ears perked to react at the first sign of danger.

Something rattled again and I turned around sharply.

But once again, no one was standing behind.

I narrowed my eyes at a book, which was slightly pulled out from the perfectly aligned row. It wasn’t when I passed it just a second before …

“Anyone here?”

Nothing.

“Maggie, is that you?”

The book slid back again, the spine reaching the edge of the shelf.

“Maggie! What’re you doing? You hate when—”

The book was now nearly falling to the ground and I reached for it hastily, a second before it would’ve been too late.

“For fuck’s—”

It opened suddenly and almost fell from my hands. My jaw slackened at the pages turning like the wind blew on them until it stopped, going back a couple of pages.

My throat dried at the title.

Dragons; Stars protecting humankind.

I looked around, careful not to move. Did Maggie make the book fall for me? She couldn’t know. Or was it a warning?

“We can’t trust Dragons, Ania,” my twin brother’s frantic voice echoed in my head. “They’re selfish. They only want more power and riches. You and Dimitri should flee, before it’s too late. I’ll handle mother and father.”

Goosebumps erupted along my arms and I shivered from the sudden cold seeping through my bones as the memory unfurled.

“I can’t leave you here,” I said, teeth clattering from the freezing rain soaking my clothes and hair. “What if they turn on you?”

“They can’t use me as their incubator.” He looked around us warily.

It was late, most people were already locked in their homes.

“They need a Maiden for their Shard Carrier. Untouched. They won’t care that you found your fated mate, they’ll take you from him.

So flee, Anastasia. Take Dimitri away, take him to bed, and get this over with. They won’t care about you anymore.”

“You told me not to do that when he first showed up! If they don’t hunt me down, mother or father will.” I shook my head, defeated. “I can’t—”

“By then, it’ll be too late!” Aghen hissed, shaking me by my shoulders. “You won’t be ‘pure’ anymore, and Dragons will have to find another Maiden for their Shard Carrier to breed.”

I stared into my brother’s terrified gaze. His eyes were an unusual color, shining like polished gemstones under the faint moonlight.

Aghen should’ve taken us farther to talk about this. Maybe we should’ve gone to our usual spot, at the bottom of the cliff, but the waters were high. And in the forest, we might have stumbled upon Dimitri. He didn’t need to know about all of this.

“We still have time,” I said. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Convince him and father to change their mind, to revoke the oath.”

Aghen shook his head. I wasn’t sure if his eyes were filling up with tears or if the rain was making them wet.

“They’ll never agree to it, Ania. If you don’t run away, you’ll be nothing more than Amyntas’ possession, siring his Dragon heir, used by his warriors…

Is that what you want? Spending your entire life pregnant and constantly abused?

Because I can’t bear it. So, for once in your life, listen to me and fucking run away, or you’ll—”

“Why are you still here, so late?”

I jumped, dropping the book on the floor and turning around sharply, panting.

Carter stood a few feet from me, studying my face. My hand placed itself over my racing heart, like I could somehow stop it from bursting out of my chest.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, his eyes narrowing. “Were you crying?”

My fingers softly wiped the wet lines under my eyes and I looked at the droplet on my fingertips.

Was I crying?

How did that memory escape from the tight box I locked it in?

I closed my mouth and wiped my hands on the skirt of my dress.

“I’m fine,” I said, trying to force the surge of emotions down.

Carter didn’t look convinced. His eyes drifted to the book, which fell closed at my feet.

“What were you reading? I’ve never seen that book before.”

He took a step closer and crouched, picking it from the wooden floor.

I felt like I should have prevented him from doing so. For some reason, Maggie made it fall from the shelf when I was alone. Maybe she needed to tell me something. What if the Dragons had found me? No. They didn’t have any use for me now. I wasn’t pure, nor able to conceive children.

“Astrals, Protectors of the land,” Carter read—or, more accurately, sneered . “Bullshit. Them ever existing is only a rumor, and I heard that, if they ever did, they were self-centered bastards anyway. ”

My throat bobbed. He wasn’t entirely wrong .

“Why were you reading this?”

I blinked. My stomach was churning from the intensity of the memory that overwhelmed me.

“I-I wasn’t. It fell, so I picked it up.”

It wasn’t a lie. Other than the title of the page, my eyes didn’t get to focus on the rest as my mind was busy stabbing me in the heart.

“It fell.”

Not a question, but I nodded anyway. He looked through the space around us, searching for something. Maybe for a sign of Margaret’s presence.

“We should go. Arc’s preparing dinner at home.”

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not following you anywhere.”

He groaned, his knuckles turning white around the spine of the small leather book.

“And why not?”

“Because last time you took me somewhere, I felt like ripping your face from your head,” I deadpanned. “Just leave, and I can go by myself.”

The muscle in his jaw ticked a couple of times before he made another guttural sound, sliding his free hand in his hair, ruffling it up. I tried to ignore the way my gaze lingered on his flexing bicep at his movement.

But at least he didn’t seem to notice.

Small victories .

“It’s late. Arc said you should have left the archives a while ago, and sent me to bring you home. So, let’s just—”

“Stop saying home,” I interrupted. “It’s not my home. We’re not—”

“It is.”

A bitter laugh breached my throat.

“No. I don’t have a home.”

“You do,” he said, snapping his hand around my wrist to pull me with him. “And it’s with us.”

I tried to pull my hand free, but his hold was strong. My other hand scratched at his, trying to lessen the pressure and make him release me, but he ignored it. Acting like I was merely an annoying bug hitting at his fingers .

“Let go of me, you stupid featherless bird.”

“Don’t make me teleport you out.”

I screeched in frustration, stomping my feet in front of me, pulling harder on my arm.

“What happened to you being repulsed? Let. Go,” I said, feeling my power rise up inside of me.

“Oh, I still am. I’m about five minutes away from retching on the damn floor, so don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be.”

Tingles traveled up from my wrist up my arm.

Liar .

“Unless you want a repeat from last night, let—”

He turned around and his hand was suddenly wrapped around my throat. His eyes no longer blue but almost white, shining eerily.

“I don’t answer to you,” he clipped. “Arc instructed me to get you, so I am.”

I hissed, his hand becoming warmer and tighter on my skin.

“What are you, his lap dog?” I coughed. “If I throw a stick, will you fetch?”

He pulled, bringing my face inches away from his, the growl coming out of his throat menacing.

“See? Even growling like a fucking Animal.”

My head swirled and my vision blacked out. Bile rose to my too tight throat as the world felt like it was vanishing around me, the floor becoming nonexistent under my feet.

Not again…

The pressure around me changed, my ears ringing in my head. I opened my eyes and blinked a second before my whole body connected with the floor.

Carter stood over me, gigantic white wings spread behind him in a room that suddenly felt too tight to welcome his body.

Fucking show off.

His chest was heaving, eyes still shining white, face clouded with anger.

I laughed, letting the back of my head hit the ground too.

“Short-tempered chicken.”

His lips pulled back in a sneer, revealing his slightly elongated canines as he pounced on me.

Using his momentum and blinding rage against him, I jumped away only to turn and straddle him.

I could feel his surprise and pain in the empty space of my soul as my fist connected with his jaw. Once. Twice. Five fucking times.

Trying to turn us over, his wings collided with some furniture, sending objects shattering on the floor around us.

“What, can't you retract them when you're stuck on your back?” I laughed, the sound hysterical.

My heart made a leap in my chest as his hand circled my throat again and electricity sparked on my skin and ran along his own arms.

Oh, what a little bastard.

He moved his hips up, probably to try and push me away, but it only brought notice that our tumble made him feel the wrong kind of thing.

“I’ll fry you from the inside out, you disgusting bitch.”

His voice sounded off. Eerie. Holy .

I grabbed his forehead and captured his gaze.

“Not if I fry you first.”

Eyes widening, he gasped before his scream echoed in the room and his hand let go of my throat to claw at my own, allowing my lungs to take a deep intake of air.

His mind was a maze. A labyrinth of guilt, self pity, and repressed sins. Voices echoed, whispering in a language I could never understand.

Enochian, the language of angels.

I amplified them. Distorted them. Made them hurt him from within.

A strange pain flickered in my heart like a dead flame. But I didn’t let go, pouring all the hurt men like him had inflicted on me over the years inside his mind, his very soul.

Break him like they wanted to break us.

Show him how it hurts to be powerless. From having all the power in the palm of his hands, to becoming a pawn in someone else’s play.

My body was pulled backward and I shrieked, fighting to get free, only to be held tighter.

“Lola—”

The voice was harsh, cold.

But I wasn’t done. I wanted to make Carter hurt. I wanted him to feel like I felt for millenia.

“Lola, stop!”

I froze and my vision cleared.

My back was plastered to Arc’s chest and Carter lay on his back, wincing, his eyes shut tight, his wings sprawled in an awkward angle beneath him.

Broken shards of glass, piles of books, and furniture were scattered on the floor around his large frame.

Golden blood leaked out of his ears and nose, bruises forming on his jaw.

“Lola,” Arc repeated again, this time softer. “Lola, calm down.”

Could he feel my heart pounding out of my chest? Could he hear that far-away voice still nagging at me inside my head? The voice of the person I was before I fucked it up and became what I was today?

“Carter?” Arc asked. “You good?”

He grunted, throwing his forearm over his eyes, giving him a thumbs up with his other hand.

“Clean yourself up and join us in the kitchen. Dinner is ready.”

Carter sat up, burying his head in his hands.

“I’m good. I’ll take a plate later. I’m not eating on that kitchen counter ever again.”

His words lacked their usual bite, but were laced with something new.

Jealousy .

And I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.