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LEXI

I peeled up the covers and slid into bed. Then I lay there for a moment thinking, this is fine, I don’t mind . Cooper had a tough day, a long week. He deserved a passing out and a deep sleep.

I was proud of myself for not being irritated. I was taking the high road, being supportive.

But then I realized I was seething.

Seething hard.

I had been in a relationship with Coop for years.

And he wouldn’t commit.

I mean, he wasn’t cheating, but he also wasn’t my husband. He was just my boyfriend, and then just lived here without making any kind of meaningful commitment to me. It hurt my feelings, to be honest, like we were roommates with benefits.

I understood that he didn’t want to take my money. He didn’t want to be the kept man. I got it, but also, if we married it would all be pooled together. It would be our money, our business. I could help him, be on his team. Instead he was just…

He wasn’t a team player.

Either he wasn’t ever a team player or he just didn’t want to be a team player with me.

I huffed, almost wishing it would wake him up.

He didn’t.

I fluffed and punched my pillow and flounced onto my side with another huff.

Then I rolled onto my back with my arms out.

Torin had questioned what I was doing with Cooper, why we weren’t married.

Answer: Because Cooper hadn’t asked me. He wouldn’t ask me.

The closest we had come was months ago when we were talking about prenuptial agreements, just in general, and he had said signing a prenup worried him, but um… sorry, lots of people have prenups. It was not that big a thing, if he really loved me.

Torin called me Mistress Lexi and was genuinely interested in talking to me. Is that why I let down my guard around him? Was I starving for attention like Jen said?

That was distressing and kind of embarrassing.

Cooper smacked his lips and turned to look over at my side of the bed, he kinda smiled.

I thought, Oh, he’s going to roll over here and cuddle with ? —

He rolled the other way so his back was to me, then realized he was on top of the covers and made a big irritated production of squirming and struggling to get his feet under the covers.

I was completely still waiting for his kiss, his cuddle, any acknowledgment that I had taken off his shoes and helped him to bed, but no, he went back to sleep on his side.

His side of my bed.

The one that had been passed down through my family, carved headboard and footboard, covered with my great-grandmother’s hand sewn quilt.

The truth was, Cooper and me, our troubles were much deeper than I had been letting on.

I didn’t know how much longer this would go on — would I break up with him?

Could I?

Right after he got terrible news?

Jen was right, I was letting Torin get all up in my head.

I was happy before all of this. Mostly.

Ugh. I sighed. I was just being a jerk.

I hadn’t known Cooper was going to ask me to marry him, I had just been guessing, and getting my hopes up about nothing.

Getting my hopes up had always been an issue, that I was still doing it was on me.

He had gone through a lot this week. He was disappointed. He just didn’t want to go to a nice restaurant, not now, not to celebrate, and I just needed to be supportive until he got through this, then we would come up with the next plan. Together.

And maybe we never got married, maybe we just lived together. That would be fine too.

Though I knew I shouldn’t, I still seethed, my mind going round the troubles that were like enemies at my gate.

I slowly fell asleep.