Page 24

LEXI

I had planned to do a ‘sit down’, serving from bowls, but since it was less a ‘supper party’ and more just ‘supper’, I took the lids off the pots and pans and lined them down the counter. We would serve ourselves buffet style.

Jen went first. Torin watched her choose a plate and picked one for himself. I could tell he was watching her closely for cues.

His pants fit tight around his ass, his shirt pulled across his back, showing off all the muscular forms. It made me lose track of my thoughts for a moment, but then I shook my head to clear it. I handed a plate to Cooper who was confusedly watching Torin take cues from Jen.

Jen served Torin some pasta, using tongs. He said, “Och aye, what is it?”

Cooper asked, “Pasta, you’ve never had pasta?”

“Nae, it looks verra good.” He licked his lips. His eyes were huge, he looked very hungry.

Jen asked, “More?”

He said, “Aye, more.”

I said, “Save room for the sauce and meatballs.”

Jen passed him the spoon and mimicking her he put a careful small amount on his pile of pasta. With two meatballs.

Coop said, “Nah, man, you gotta really spoon it on, get a lot. Lexi makes the best sauce.”

Torin put another small scoop on his pasta, another meatball.

Cooper took the spoon and gave himself five big scoops, six meatballs. “Hey man, put your plate back over here.” Cooper spooned another spoonful on top of Torin’s. Two more meatballs. “You look hungry.”

“I am, verra hungry, it seems tae hae been centuries since I last ate. I had the pickled eggs earlier?—”

Jen said, “And the meat and crackers I fed you last night.”

“Aye, and Mistress Lexi fed me the sandwich, twas verra good, but this feast is verra grand.”

Jen said, “Follow me to the table, bring your glass.”

When they left for the dining room, Cooper said, “What the hell is going on — is he an imbecile? He’s joking, right?”

“Coop, I’ve had like four long conversations with him. That’s what I’m saying. He does not break character.”

“He’s a nut job.”

I shrugged. “I mean, maybe , but he’s so nice and you know, I don’t get a weird feeling about him.”

“Yeah, you’ve let down your guard. Who knows what he’s up to. He could be dangerous, psychopathic, schizophrenic.”

“He protected me?—”

“What do you mean?”

I said, “One of the times he landed here?—”

“‘One of the times he landed’ do you hear yourself, Lexi?”

“I know it sounds made up, but remember that storm? The storms happen, then he’s in the yard. It’s connected, somehow.”

Cooper huffed. “This is all just… not cool, Lexi.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I know, it sucks. This is not the conversation we should be having.”

Jen called in, “Y’all coming?”

Cooper called back, “Just a second!” He turned to me, “You said he ‘protected you’?”

“Yeah, there was a sword-fight in the yard?—”

“Jesus H Christ.” He turned on his heel and stalked into the dining room.

I got in there as he was putting his plate down in front of a chair, saying, “Sorry about that, haven’t had a lot of time to discuss…” He sat down, furled his cloth napkin over his lap, and then looked directly at Torin. “Why don’t you tell me what the hell you’re doing here.”

Jen jumped up, “I’m going to go get a round of beers.” She ducked out of the room.

“Och nae, ye sound troubled, Master Cooper, my apologies for steppin’ foot upon yer lands and findin’ m’self at yer table, uninvited by ye?—”

“Lexi tells me you were fighting with swords with someone out on the lawn.”

Torin put down his fork and clasped his hands over his plate. “Aye, I time-jumped back tae m’homelands of Alba, where a battle was a’waitin’ me — I was winnin’ because I am verra good at it, Master Cooper, but as the battle was ragin’, I was ripped away and brought here again?—”

“Who brought you here? None of this makes sense.”

Torin dug through his sporran and pulled out the vessel. “This... this demonic device is dragging me through time.”

Jen brought a whole six pack to the table and began popping beer caps off and passing them out.

Cooper said, “Okay, Medieval Man, fine, you’re not going to break character. You’re going to keep weaving this ludicrous story, convincing the ladies, easily, ” he looked around at me and Jen, “somehow, but let’s go back to discussing the rest of it. So you ended up here?—”

“Three times,” he counted on his fingers, “nae, four times. I hae jumped many times in the last few days, but four times I ended up here.”

Cooper had his hands clenched in front of his face, his legs jiggling. He was quiet.

I tapped his shoulder. “Maybe we should eat while it’s warm?”

“True, let’s do that.” He took a bite, then asked, “What I don’t understand is why are you here ?”

“I daena ken, this vessel…” Torin placed the vessel on the table and nudged it with his finger. “It daena belong tae me. It belongs tae m’laird Maximillian. Tis his family’s artifact, part of their legacy. I had been helpin’ him recover it, and…”

Torin narrowed his eyes. “I wonder... hae ye ever met Maximillian Campbell, dost ye ken of him?”

He looked around the room as we all shook our heads. He nodded, “Twas just an idea…”

He took a bite of pasta. “This is verra good, Mistress Lexi, I hae never had such delicious food.”

Cooper rolled his hand. “So you’ve stolen your ‘laird’ Maximillian’s vessel?”

“Nae, twas lyin’ on a table in a croft in Moulin, dost ye ken the area?”

“Scotland? Nah, never been to Scotland.”

“Well, twas lyin’ there, and the window was open.

There were likely tae be guards near, but I dinna worry on them much.

The vessel was there for the takin’, so I jumped through the window intae the room — Max was slow, I got tae it first. Then we ran and I was about tae toss it tae him, when it ripped me from time.

” He sipped from his beer, then belched loudly and grinned.

We all looked shocked at first, but then Jen and I burst into laughter.

He said, “Tis how ye ken the meal is good, inna it?” He looked at us laughing, “Ye daena belch at the table?”

Jen and I shook our heads. Cooper looked at us like we had lost our minds.

“Och nae, forgive me, but also, ye ought tae properly belch. Tis a compliment tae the fine meal. Our cook expects the halls of the castle tae ring with belches or his mood darkens and he will fight with the buckets in the night.”

I laughed, “Yes, I suppose it is a compliment. I’m glad you are enjoying my cooking.”

Cooper ate quietly. “I don’t believe any of this, I’ll have you know, not one damn word.”

Jen said, “Can you think of any other explanation?”

“Nope, but it’s not up to me to explain it. It’s up to the cosplay-guy here to prove it.” Cooper turned to me. “You’re legit saying it was a sword-fight, out back?”

“Yes, it was terrifying, thankfully I was armed.”

“Thank God you didn’t shoot some medieval sword-fighting guy with my gun, who knows what would have happened, there are probably laws.”

Jen said, “Yeah, against murder.”

Torin said, “Aye, and the laws of the duel. I make sure tae always follow edicts, so I winna be held accountable by Argyll.”

Jen asked, “Who is Argyll?”

“The 4 th Earl of Argyll. Archibald Campbell. Hae ye heard of him?”

Jen and I shook our heads.

Cooper put his hands out in disbelief.

Torin said, “He was a trusted noble tae King James V and has been a great and courageous military leader. I serve him.”

Cooper said, “You just said you’re loyal to some guy named Maximillian.”

“I serve them both. I hae tae follow Argyll’s commands, but I hae sworn my loyalty tae Max in his quest for the vessel.”

Cooper pushed his chair from the table. “I need to go to the bathroom.” He put his napkin beside his plate and left the room.

Jen whispered, “Cooper isn’t usually like this. He’s really bummed, huh?”

I nodded. “Yep. He’s dealing with a lot.”

We ate quietly for a moment. Then I realized Cooper hadn’t returned, and wasn’t returning, so I pretended to go get another bottle of wine and went to go check if he was okay.