Page 25

LEXI

T hat’s how I found Cooper looking very morose, leaning against the wall in the hallway.

I frowned. “Oh no, Coop, I’m so sorry.” I stood in front of him, then leaned forward nestling my head against his chest.

He put his arms around me, and held on. “I had big plans, Lexi, I was going to build an eco-tourism empire.”

I nodded and said quietly, “It’s still a great plan, what do those guys know? They’re idiots to not give you the money. They don’t think the plan is a moneymaker? You don’t need them. We’ll figure it out, this is just the?—”

“I know you’re trying to help, Lexi, can we just not try to fix it right now?”

“Yeah. I get you.” I sighed and pressed against him, his arms around me. And we stood there, comforting each other with an embrace.

Finally Jen came around the corner. “Oh, sorry to interrupt. Wondered where everyone went…”

Cooper let go. I stepped away. Cooper said, “No problem, we’re done.”

As he passed Jen they went through their fancy handshake: fist-bump, bird wing, clutch, pinky twist, fist-pound, run hand through hair. They had been doing it since they met, senior year in high school.

We returned to the table and Cooper immediately started grilling Torin again. “So, Medieval Man, what year are you from, you say?”

I said, “His name is Torin, Coop, let’s keep it civil.”

“He says his name is Torin, for all I know it’s Bob Johnson, not a reason in the world to believe a word he says.”

Torin said, “Tis fine, Mistress Lexi, I ken m’tale is difficult tae believe. I daena begrudge Master Cooper’s vigilance, I would do the same if he were feasting in my Great Hall. Tae answer yer question, Master Cooper, twas the year of our Lord, fifteen hundred, fifty-eight.”

Cooper said, “Alright, Torin , and you expect me to believe you came forward over four hundred years. And yet, I’m also supposed to believe you don’t know how to work it — can I hold it?”

Torin said, “Use caution, it grabbed me.”

I winced as he placed it in front of Cooper. “Honestly, Coop, be careful. We do not want that kind of storm in the dining room. This’s my grandmother’s china.”

Cooper nudged it with a finger, then picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

Torin said, “I wish Max had explained its workings, the only thing I ken now is not tae twist it or twill take me away — daena twist it.”

I said, “Did you twist it? Is that why it’s jumping you?”

“Nae, I hae been cautious, but it keeps grabbin’ me anyway without tryin’.”

Cooper opened his hand and let it roll back to the table. He concentrated on it for a moment with his eyes narrowed. “…And you’ve never left the…” He counted on his fingers. “Sixteenth century before, ever? ”

“Nae, I hae always lived there.”

“You said this thing belongs to your lord, Maximillian, so somehow I’m supposed to believe he’s been time jumping around, yet time travel doesn’t exist and I’m damn sure if it did, and a man named Maximillian was jumping around, I would have seen him on the news.

I’d expect a man who time travels would be in the history books, yet somehow, Lexi’s kitchen is the only place and time it’s even being discussed. ”

Torin said, “Dost ye want the full story?”

Cooper said, “Yes, enlighten me.” And took a big bite of pasta.

“Max was born in a different time. He is a prince. His throne is in the future. I daena ken the year, tis not something I ever asked about —”

Cooper said, “So not now, in the future from now?”

“Hae ye ever heard of a prince named Maximillian?”

“No, we don’t have a prince named Maximillian.”

“Then it must be further intae the future.”

“You’re saying we’ll be returning to a monarchy? This is a helluva story… fascinating that Lexi and Jen believe it. I’m learning so much tonight.” He swept his arm out, almost spilling his beer bottle. “Keep going.”

Torin broke off a hunk of bread as he told the story.

“Max arrived at Castle Glume when he was but a lad and because I was close tae his age, we were raised taegether as if we were brothers. The tale I was told is that dangers had befallen his kingdom. Max learned that his father, the King, had died in battle. Max was spirited away in the night, hidden in Castle Glume. The king’s men promised tae return for Max once the trouble was over, but nae one ever returned. ”

I said, “Oh no! You hadn’t told me the whole story.”

“Aye, tis a tough tale tae tell and harder tae hear. Max rarely spoke of it. Twas verra difficult tae hae been sent away and then left, forgotten, or worse — tae lose his whole family and his throne. He was young, twas impossible tae fight — he couldna go tae their aid.” He sadly shook his head.

“Max has become a verra capable warrior, he is fair and loyal, he would hae been an excellent king, but he has been trapped there in Castle Glume, a lowly man, servin’ an Earl.

Ye can imagine his desperation tae get his hands on this device.

He needs tae gather his family, return tae his kingdom, and fight for his throne. ”

His eyes fell on the machine. He popped the bread in his mouth and chewed, looking at the vessel, shaking his head.

Cooper pushed his plate away. “Yeah, that sounds like a terrible thing to have happened to someone in a fairy tale. You believe this, Lexi?”

I looked away.

He said, “Seriously?’

I said, “Sometimes, I think, time travel is the only explanation.”

He turned to Jen, “I’ve known you for years, you’re very practical, this is normal to you?”

She shrugged.

He got up from the table. “I need something to write with.” He stalked from the room.

Jen popped the caps off more beers and passed them around.

A few moments later, Cooper returned with a notebook and pen. “I’m going to ask you a few questions. Because I want to prove that you’re making this up.”

I said, “Coop, this is rude.”

“It’s not rude, is it, Medieval— I mean, Torin? You already said you’d be skeptical if our roles were reversed, right? You don’t mind me asking a few questions.”

The corner of Torin’s mouth went up, as if he were enjoying this greatly.

“Ah, a challenge in yer Great Hall! I was wonderin’ when the games would begin, this will remind me of home!

Mistress Lexi, I daena mind if Master Cooper questions me, I look forward tae it.

I ken mine is not a common tale, and that he finds me unfamiliar.

” He tore a piece of bread apart. “Master Cooper daena ken I am trustworthy.”

“Exactly!” said Cooper.

Torin added, “He also dinna witness me save yer life.” He popped a piece of bread in his mouth and chewed.

Cooper said, “Yes, true, you mean during the sword-fight on the lawn?”

“Aye.”

I said, “The other man charged me, I thought he was going to kill me.”

Cooper said, “Damn, Babe, I’m sorry.” He looked at Torin. “Thanks, man, I appreciate that, but still... I’ve got questions.”

Torin nodded. “Yer gratitude and yer challenge are accepted, Master Cooper.”

Jen said, “You’re going to give Torin a test?”

Cooper said, “Why, yes, yes I am. I’m going to ask him questions about Scotland and see how he answers.”

Jen said, “But how are you going to know if he’s right? You know next to nothing about Scotland.”

“After he answers I’ll look it up. That’ll work, I’m pretty sure.

” He clicked the pen and poised it above the paper.

“Maybe it won’t. The truth is if I can find the answers, homeboy, here, might have studied all of this for his character — he is very committed.

I will give him that. But it might help persuade you all that this is pure BS. ”

He began to write while asking, “Torin, what’s the biggest political issue going on in Scotland right now, according to you?”

Torin looked up at the ceiling for a moment, “We haena been home tae Castle Glume in a while as we were on our quest, so I haena been privy tae the conversations in the Great Hall. That is where we usually hear the news of the day, but in the tavern the other night I was told that the Dauphin of France, Francis, has married our Mary, thereby bringing the thrones of France and Scotland taegether.”

I said, “Mary who?”

“Our young queen, Mary Stuart.”

Cooper wrote fast then read over it, before asking, “You said you overheard it in a tavern, how much does a tavern cost in your time?”

Torin said, “This is a complicated question, Master Cooper. Max negotiated for our room, and he dinna negotiate well, we had tae share it with another traveler. We were all sleepin’ on the same bed, but twas the last room available. Twas cheap considerin’—”

“An estimate is fine.”

“I drank about four pints, Max and I shared a meal, we gave the innkeeper a shillin’ and a half.”

Cooper exhaled. “What is a shilling and a half?”

“About eighteen pence.” Torin dug in his sporran and pulled out a few coins, placing them on the table between our plates.

He placed a finger on the gold one. “This is a pistole, this silver one is a shillin’, and these two are groats.”

Cooper picked up the gold one. Jen and I each picked up the silver coins.

I said, “Wow, that is, wild. You might have wanted to lead with this, Torin.”

“Ye haena seen coins like this?”

The one I held was not uniformly circular. It looked like it had been inexpertly stamped. It had a shield and… “Cooper, this one has a date.”

He took it and read, “1558. The gold one says 1552.”

Jen put her coin on the table. “That’s kind of conclusive, huh?”

“Or it’s part of his costume — coin collections are a thing, you know.” He added, “Alright, one more, Torin. What did your tavern serve for dinner?”

“In Moulin? Och, in Moulin twas naething special. I will tell ye of a fine dinner we had in?—”

Cooper said, “Nothing from, like, Glasgow, a place we all know about. That’s not going to prove anything.”

Torin asked, “Dost ye ken of Muthill?”

“Nope.”

Torin leaned back with his hands clasped on his stomach.

“Max was in a fine mood so we stopped in Muthill’s best tavern.

Tis a common spot tae rest and their larder is full, the fare is known tae be hearty.

We met up with some friends on their return tae Castle Glume and they were long from their last meal, so Max ordered a grand feast. The table groaned under the platters. We had roasted venison and wild boar?—”

I screwed up my face.

He asked, “Ye haena tasted wild boar, Mistress Lexi? Och, tis rich and gamey, twas served with a sauce of red wine and crushed berries. Beside that was salmon, verra fresh, caught in the River Earn, and we had side dishes of neeps in butter, parsnips, and bannocks?—”

Cooper was writing furiously.

Jen asked, “Neeps?”

“Turnips.”

I asked, “What’s a bannock?”

“A type of bread, twas served warm with heather honey.”

I said, “Oh man, that all sounds delicious, now I’m embarrassed by my one course meal.”

“Twas a tavern, taverns must hae hearty food for the journeyers. This is a verra fine meal for a small party, Mistress Lexi, and I am staggered ye cooked it all on yer own. In my time twould take five men. Ye would hae tae butcher the boar and deer, grind the oats, prepare the sauces, och nae, there be days of toil. How did ye procure the meat for the balls?”

“We bought that at the store earlier today. In the package.”

He nodded. “Did Mistress Marjorie butcher the meat?”

“No, she buys it from somewhere else.”

His eyes went far away as if he was trying to understand.

Cooper asked, “Back to the question, what did you drink?”

“We drank a copious amount that night —heather ale. Tis the tavern’s specialty, hae ye ever had it?”

We shook our heads.

Cooper said, “Nah, but I’ve seen it for sale in Nashville.”

Torin asked, “Dost Nashville hae moors?”

Cooper chuckled. “Nah, man, Nashville is known for country music, but that’s neither here nor there.” He wrote Heather ale. “Anything else?”

“Aye. After a round we asked for somethin’ sweet, and were served crowdie cream served with cherries.”

I said, “Oh man, that reminds me, I have ice cream! Want a banana split?”

I jumped up and began clearing places. I carried a stack of plates into the kitchen as they began looking up the questions and answers on the laptop.