Page 19 of To Wed a Laird (English Brides and Highland Vows #1)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Rose had not expected sleep to come, so she was not surprised when it did not. She tossed and turned, got to her feet and paced the room, went back to bed and tried to sleep, only to repeat the whole fruitless process again and again.

At last, she gave up the fight and picked up a book she had been trying to read for the past few days, but even that was pointless, since she found herself going over the same lines again and again.

All she could think about was Cormac, the way his hands had moved on her, the touch of his lips, the feel of his tongue sweeping through the most sensitive and private parts of her body.

The sensations those thoughts aroused in her were pleasurable, but they were accompanied by a surge of frustration and futility because she knew she would never experience them again.

Somehow, Rose managed to drift away just before dawn. Later, she guessed that she had no more than two hours’ sleep, but it was two more than she expected.

At last, she rose from bed, then washed and put on her oldest and most worn-out dress.

She saddled her horse and left the building, looking around carefully to see that she had not alerted Elspeth.

The last thing she needed was to have to explain what was happening to the person, who would react to it like a spark to a firework.

When she was a little way away, Rose looked back. All was quiet, and she breathed a sigh of relief, feeling as though she had escaped.

Elspeth was fizzing with excitement that morning. She had been reading one of her new French books and had managed to teach herself a few new words, and was desperate to show them off to Rose.

Perhaps Rose would reward her with a piece of tablet or some roasted chestnuts! The thought made her mouth water, and she ran to the schoolroom, eager to show off her new skills, but when she opened the door, much to her disappointment, there was no one there.

Elspeth waited for a mere few moments, reasoning that Rose must have been delayed by something extremely important because she was never late.

Elspeth was not one to sit still, and now she marched up to the library, since she knew Rose’s fondness for reading. However, she was not there, and there was no sign that she had been.

Next she tried the garden, which was a very big space with many hidden corners, particularly where the trees touched the walls. She and Rose had played hide and seek there many times. When Elspeth could find no sign of her there, she began to feel alarmed, and stood still to think for a moment.

The chapel! She had never known Rose to be a very devout person. Although she went to church on Sundays and said her prayers with Elspeth, she could not see her dropping in for a quick prayer during the day. Still, there was always a first time.

She went inside the small church, and was struck, as usual, by the feeling of quiet and peace inside its walls.

Elspeth looked under every pew and peered under the altar table, but there was no sign of Rose.

The stables and the turrets yielded nothing as well, and eventually, she decided it was time to give up.

However, she suspected that someone knew where she had gone, and she knew just who that someone was.

“Where is Rose?” Elspeth demanded as she marched into the kitchen, uninvited and indignant.

Nell, who had been busy with some mending, sighed and put her needle down, then held out her arms to Elspeth. Usually, Elspeth would have walked into Nell’s embrace without hesitation, but not today. Now she stood firm and crossed her arms, scowling fiercely at her.

When she had steadied herself, Nell returned the frown. “That is nae way tae behave, young lady,” she said angrily. “Calm down.”

Just then, Cormac came in. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes as though he had not slept, which indeed he had not.

He had spent a sleepless night tossing and turning, just as Rose had.

He felt listless, with no energy, and knew he needed sustenance, but he could not bear to look at food at the moment. He simply had no appetite.

“What are you doing now, Elspeth?” he asked irritably. “Have you been in trouble again?” Cormac sighed and ran his hand backward through his long black hair, which was hanging loose because he had not had the energy nor the inclination to tie it back.

He flopped down into a chair by the table, and Nell handed him a cup of warm ale, which he sipped gratefully. Her expression was one of deep concern, and Cormac took her hand and squeezed it, smiling at her faintly.

“I want to know where Rose is,” Elspeth demanded. “I have looked everywhere, and I cannot find her!”

Nell sat down and looked into her own cup of ale to avoid having to meet Elspeth’s eyes. “She has likely gone intae the village,” she said. “She had somethin’ on her mind an’ needed some time tae think.”

“What did she have on her mind?” Cormac asked anxiously. “Did she tell you?” He knew the answer to his own question, but he wanted to have it confirmed.

Nell met his eyes with a look that clearly said, Not in front of Elspeth!

“I dinnae know,” she replied, shaking her head. “She widnae tell me anythin’.”

Cormac sat thoughtfully sipping his ale as Elspeth marched around the room growling in frustration. Nell, fearing for the safety of her ornaments and trinkets, said, “Sit down, Elspeth. I am sure she will be back soon, hen.”

Elspeth whipped around to face her father, her eyes blazing with rage. “You did this!” she cried, pointing an accusing finger at Cormac. “This is all your fault. You drove her away. Rose loves me and I love her… and now she is gone, and you did it!”

Her face was scarlet with fury, and she clenched her fists by her sides.

Cormac opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out of it. Elspeth stood glaring at him for a long moment, then she thumped her fists on the table and let out a piercing scream before she turned and ran out.

Cormac stood up, intending to follow her, but Nell took hold of his sleeve, shaking her head.

“Let her go, Cormac,” she advised. “Just for a wee while. She needs tae let off some steam. You were just the same when you were wee—I remember it well. I will go an’ find her a bit later, she willnae have gone far. ”

Cormac nodded slowly and sipped his ale, then, a moment later, he found a plate of porridge and a cup of milk in front of him.

“I can see ye havenae eaten or slept,” Nell said, patting his shoulder. “But I have this porridge here an’ ye will eat it, or I will pour it down your throat!”

Cormac knew Nell was not serious, of course. She was looking after him as she had always done. “What would I do without you, Nell?” he asked, sighing.

Nell smiled, but made no answer. She bustled about tidying up and brushing the floor while he ate, then, when he had finished, she sat down beside him and looked into his eyes.

“What happened last night?” Nell asked.

Cormac sighed, then said, “We made love, Nell,” he answered. “For the second time.”

Nell did not tell him that she already knew, merely put her hand on top of his and listened. Over years of people confiding in her, she had found that the best kind of comfort was silence; no interruptions, no advice, just a sympathetic ear.

Cormac poured out the whole story of their coming together, and told Nell how he had expressed emotions to Rose that he had not said to another woman since Catherine died. He paused then, and at last Nell felt that it was time to speak.

“Did ye tell her how much ye love her?” she asked gently.

“No, Nell,” Cormac answered in response to her question. “I told her nothing. I have lost the love of my life. How can I replace Catherine?”

Nell leaned forward and tilted Cormac’s face up so that she could look into his bright blue eyes.

“Cormac, Catherine is dead, an’ has been for years, but you arenae dead,” she reminded him.

“You are alive an’ ye have a child tae look after.

Ye must move on wi’ your life. Ye have a future, an’ if I am no’ mistaken, Rose is your future.

Catherine will always be your first love, but she doesnae have tae be your last.”

Cormac looked into her eyes for a long moment, then jumped to his feet. “You are right, Nell,” he said determinedly. “I am going to find her.”

He strode from the room, leaving Nell to look after him, then she took a deep breath and went to find Elspeth. This was not going to be pleasant!

Rose had not eaten any breakfast, so when she drank her cup of ale, it was the first thing that had passed her lips that day.

She drank it very slowly, partly because she did not wish it to go to her head, but mostly because she had very little coin.

Yet, she ordered another cup, and another, hoping they would calm her down a little, but nothing seemed to help; her thoughts were still racing.

She sat silently, thinking, unaware that she was attracting attention. She had deliberately worn her oldest dress for the express purpose of stopping people, especially men, from looking at her, and was sitting in the darkest corner of the bar trying to stay out of sight.

Before long, the room was thick with pipe smoke and the odour of sweaty, unwashed bodies, and Rose began to consider the possibility of leaving.

As well as being sweaty and loud, the men inside were beginning to look at her in a very appreciative but threatening way, and Rose was beginning to be afraid. It was definitely time to go.

She stood up very slowly and wrapped her dark grey cloak around herself, then began to inch out of the bar, moving sideways along the wall.

As she reached the door, Rose breathed a sigh of relief. She had not been spotted, and was not in any danger of being intercepted by any of the dubious-looking men whom she had noticed hanging around the bar.

However, just as she was about to push the door open, a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed her arm in a painful grip. Rose squealed and looked around into a pair of bloodshot brown eyes set in one of the ugliest faces she had ever seen.

The man had rotten yellow teeth with a great gap in the middle and a big flat nose that had obviously been broken at some time. The odour of his breath was so foul that it made her feel sick, and she turned her face away to avoid the sight and smell of him.

However, the man grabbed her chin and wrenched her face around so that she was looking at him again. “What is your name, hen?” he asked, his voice slurred and hoarse.

Rose plucked the first name that came to mind out of the air, not wanting to give away her true identity. “Mary,” she replied, her voice trembling with fear.

The man smiled with evil satisfaction then took a drink from his cup of ale, and his grip slackened a little.

Rose took the chance to push him away and once more tried to open the outside door.

She was able to get through this time; however, she did not manage to take more than a few steps before she came face to face with another two men who were lurking outside.

Both leered at her, looking at her up and down with lecherous appreciation. One was short, fat, and bald, the other tall and almost skeletally thin, with a mop of dirty black hair. They exchanged glances, then smiles, as though they had just won a prize, which, in effect, they had.

“Well, auld pal, will ye look at this?” the fat one said to his thin friend. “Is she no’ a beauty?”

The ugly man came out of the tavern and smiled at his two cohorts. “Aye,” he answered. “Dinnae say I never gie ye anythin’. Her name is Mary.”

“What a nice wee present,” the fat one said. “Hello, hen. We are goin’ tae have a good time tonight. A’ ye have tae dae is be nice tae us an’ we will be nice tae you. If ye arenae nice, well…” He left the words unsaid, but his meaning was obvious.

Rose wanted to shout that she was not a thing to be used, but she was frozen with fear.

She opened her mouth to scream, but not a sound came out.

She tried to think if she had anything she could use as a weapon, but she had nothing.

Then she put her hand in her pocket and found a long hairpin which had fallen out of her hair while she was riding.

It was made of iron and akin to a very large nail, but Rose was not sure how much damage it could do against three men.

However, it was all she had, and even if these three thugs were going to rape or kill her, she was determined that she would not go down without a fight.

When the small, fat one came forward with his hand outstretched, Rose whipped out the long pin and thrust it as hard as she could towards his face, aiming for his eye, but the man was much more agile than he looked.

In no more than a fraction of a second, he had whipped the pin out of her hand to send it flying.

It landed on the muddy ground, and he picked it up, then bent it in the middle, rendering it useless for Rose’s purpose. Then he gave her an evil grin. “Well, that wasnae very nice, was it, Mary?” he asked. He was smiling, but his blue eyes were smouldering with rage.

Rose was desperate, but she knew that if she could only get to her horse she could escape—the man had not been born who could outrun a horse!

She took off, sidestepping past the thin man, but she had only taken a few more steps before her path was cut off by the fellow who had first accosted her in the tavern.

Desperately, she looked around for an escape route, but there was none; she was being herded into a narrow alley between the tavern and the barn that stood a few feet away. Presently, her back hit a wall—there was no escape, and not a soul in sight.

At long last, Rose was able to scream, but the three thugs only laughed.

“Scream away, Mary,” the thin one said, shrugging. “Naebody can hear ye.”