Page 15 of To Wed a Laird (English Brides and Highland Vows #1)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

But the kiss had to end, and as they drew apart, each of them breathless, and a strange awkwardness descended on them. Rose turned away, Cormac cleared his throat and lifted her onto the horse, and she murmured a word of thanks. Then he mounted Broch and they rode back to the castle.

There was silence between them, a strange, uncomfortable silence that neither of them could break because neither knew what to say. Rose was glad to see darkness creep in around them, since it prevented her from seeing Cormac’s face.

With a rush of relief, she saw the castle loom up in front of them, and as soon as they were inside she dismounted from her horse without Cormac’s assistance.

“Excuse me,” she said hurriedly, avoiding his eyes as she rushed for the stairs. “I am very tired. Goodnight.”

It was a lame excuse, and Rose knew it, but she still could not come to terms with what had happened, she was embarrassed and felt that she had made an utter fool of herself.

It did not occur to her at that moment that it was Cormac who had kissed her, not the other way around.

All she could think about was how she was going to face him in the morning.

Cormac murmured a goodnight and watched Rose hurrying away to her chamber. Had she felt the same energy between them that he had, or had he been imagining things? But Rose had returned the kiss. She had not pushed him away or reprimanded him.

What he had experienced was not rejection, but a warm, enthusiastic response, which he could still feel in the tingling of his lips and the involuntary surge of his manhood.

As soon as she arrived at her chamber, Rose flopped down on the bed and covered her face with her hands. She wanted to remember the kiss, but at the same time she was desperately trying to forget it.

She tried to fill her mind with other things, but the sight of his bright blue eyes watching her as his lips descended to hers had her moaning with desire again.

The first touch had sent a jet of pure pleasure through her, the likes of which she had never felt before.

Yes, she had been kissed before, but she realised that they had been clumsy, boyish kisses, whereas this had been something heavenly.

Yet had Cormac felt the same? Rose was not sure. She knew that men had predatory instincts that women lacked, so had he merely been taking advantage of her? Had the dress he bought for her been a way to butter her up so that she would succumb to him more easily?

If so, Rose wondered if he wanted to pursue her further, and if he did, whether she would allow it or not. As she thought of his handsome face, bright blue eyes, and the rough yet gentle touch of his big hands, she realised that it would be very hard for her to refuse him.

She rose to her feet and walked over to the window to look out. The moon was high in the sky now, gilding the landscape with silver light, and she wondered if Claire and Amanda were looking out of their windows too and thinking of her.

What would they say? Amanda would likely tell her to be very, very careful if she did not want her heart broken, but Claire’s eyes would fill with mischief, and she would encourage her sister to make him fall in love with her.

Rose smiled at the thought of Claire’s glee, but nothing helped her with the problem she had now.

What was she going to do when she saw Cormac again if this was how she felt about him?

She was a governess, and he was a Laird, and any suggestion of a romantic relationship between them was utterly unthinkable.

He was standing on the very top of the social ladder, and while she was not quite down with the scullery maids and stable lads, she was too far below him to reach his level.

None to mention he had been married before, he had tasted love. And she was just…

Rose shook her head, stripped off her dress and donned her nightgown, then climbed into bed and closed her eyes, but trying to sleep was an exercise in futility.

She could not keep Cormac out of her mind.

She imagined that the kiss had gone further, and led to a much more passionate and adventurous encounter.

His hands would touch her breasts, and she would be unable to resist him as he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her.

She had no idea what a naked man looked like, of course, since she had never seen one, but she knew what went on in the marriage bed.

One of her governesses had been wise enough to educate her and her sisters, knowing that it would have been cruel to do otherwise.

She had seen Cormac naked to the waist, however, and remembered how the sight of the rippling muscles of his abdomen and chest and his broad shoulders had thrilled her, making her aware of how small she was in comparison.

She loved the fact that he was bigger than she was; yes, he could ill-treat her if he were that kind of a man, but he was not. Rose could never love a man like that.

Pulling the covers over herself, she tried to think of her sisters, her home, anything to keep Cormac out of her mind, but it was no good. She dozed fitfully, but every time she woke again it was to the feel of his lips caressing hers over and over again.

Eventually, Rose gave up the fight, resigning herself to the fact that she was never going to get a good night’s sleep. She lay until morning, watching the sun coming up and wondering how she was going to avoid Cormac.

She was finally jerked into full wakefulness by the sound of her bedroom door being thumped loudly, and a familiar voice shouted, “Rose! Rose! Wake up!”

Rose sighed and climbed wearily out of bed, then unlocked the door. Elspeth shot through like a musket ball and wrapped her arms around Rose, laughing with glee.

“My birthday is in a week! Da says we are having a feast, and we can invite all my friends and even the servants’ children! There is going to be dancing and singing. Oh, Rose! It will be wonderful!”

Rose laughed with Elspeth and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “My goodness!” she cried. “There will be so much to do.”

“But you will help me, will you not, Rose?” Elspeth asked hopefully.

“Of course!” Rose replied. “That will be almost as much fun as the feast!”

In spite of Elspeth’s pleading, Rose insisted that they should go on with their lessons every day, but afterwards they dived into a whirlwind of preparations.

A thousand different things had to be done; banners made and hung, decorations of every kind put up, as well as the usual humdrum routine of the castle which had to go on, celebration or not.

Rose, Nell and Elspeth were also making a dress for Elspeth from the fabric that Cormac had bought at the market, since she had outgrown all her other ones.

“Ye will soon be the same size as your father!” Nell complained, as she plied her needle one evening after they had finished supper. “Ye will have tae stop growin’.”

Elspeth giggled. She was, indeed, going to tower over most of the ladies in the area, but that gave her a sense of power. “No!” she replied. “I am going to be bigger than him.”

The dress was halfway to completion, but looked as though it would be finished in good time, since all three were working on it.

Rose had been obliged to unpick her efforts a few times due to her clumsiness and lack of expertise, but she was determined to learn, so she persevered even though her fingertips were blue from needle pricks.

On the day before the party, Elspeth put the finished garment on so that she could show off to Rose and Nell. “It is so lovely!” Rose breathed as Elspeth twirled around to give them a view from every side.

The dress was bright red, with a round neck and elbow length sleeves, and it flared out from Elspeth’s slender waist to drop to a length just below her knees. When she was a grown woman, it would reach the floor, but that would be years away yet.

Elspeth clapped her hands, her eyes alight with joy. “Only one more day!” she cried.

With all the preparations, Rose had managed to avoid Cormac for the few days between their kiss and the feast, although it had been a sacrifice to stay away from him. He had avoided coming to dine with them, telling Nell that he was too busy, and this was both a relief and a disappointment to Rose.

Among the many things that Nell was teaching Rose was the art of baking.

Rose was eager to learn these household skills that most women took for granted, since her future seemed to be so unsure.

Would she be left to fend for herself one day?

If she were, she would have to possess some means of making a living if she could not secure a position as a governess.

Rose was already thinking of Nell as a mother figure and could not imagine life without her or Elspeth.

The night before the feast, she and Nell were kneading dough in the kitchen for the bread that would be served the next day. Nell brushed flour from her apron before pouring a cup of ale for both of them. Then she held up her cup in a toast.

“Sláinte Mhath!” she said, smiling.

“Sláinte Mhath!” Rose was puzzled. “What are we celebrating?”

“You and Elspeth,” Nell answered, her eyes warm. “Ever since ye came, she has been a different wee lassie, Rose. She has come back tae life, an’ it is a’ because o’ you.”

Rose was astonished. “Nell, I am only doing what I was hired to do,” she said. “Nothing more.”

“Ye didnae need tae dae any more, hen,” Nell replied. “Just bein’ yourself is enough.”

“I think you’re giving me too much credit, Nell,” Rose replied. “But thank you.”

“I am no’ givin’ ye enough, hen,” Nell said as she gave Rose a tight hug. “Ye have been good for her, for me, an’ for Cormac. Elspeth loves ye. She would dae anythin’ for ye, an’ I know that because she told me.”

Rose flushed with embarrassment; this was all too much, and she changed the subject quickly. “Did you say we were having haggis for supper tonight, Nell?” she asked wickedly, and Nell gave her a playful punch.

When she left the kitchen hours later, Rose went up to the first row of turrets, a place she often went to clear her head, since she found that the fresh air and beautiful view worked better than anything else.

She spent a few moments taking deep breaths as she looked out at the landscape below, the trees and rooftops glinting silver in the moonlight. She could hear the guards laughing and chatting, and it suddenly occurred to her that this little country of Scotland was now her home.

Rose shook her head in disbelief, thinking of the flat-level grasslands of her own home in England, which would never feel the same again.

She knew that she would have to sleep well that night, since the next day would likely be a chaotic blur of activity. Accordingly, she went to her chamber, lit a candle as she approached her bed, then stopped dead.

There, lying on her bed, was the most beautiful dress she had ever seen.

It was made of teal blue satin, trimmed with cream lace, and had a slit up the front that showed a cream silk underdress.

The neckline was a deep “V” and the puffed shoulder-length sleeves were also trimmed with lace.

Beside the dress lay a yard of matching ribbon and a few jewelled hairpins.

She sat down on her bed and stroked the silk of the dress, wondering if she should try it on, but there was no one to help her with the elaborate fastenings.

Rose went to the mirror and held the dress up against herself.

It was the perfect length, and she could see that it would fit perfectly just by looking at it.

She wondered how Cormac—who was undoubtedly the one who had gifted her this dress—had found her measurements, but that hardly mattered.

He had thought of her, that was all that counted.

Rose carefully draped the dress over a chair, then put on her nightgown before picking up the note again.

“Cormac,” she murmured. “Thank you for thinking of me. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

She climbed into bed, thinking about the handsome Highlander with a heart of gold yet again.