Page 18 of To Wed a Laird (English Brides and Highland Vows #1)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

That afternoon, when all the food had been eaten, Rose and Elspeth lay on the grass while Rose told her stories about the mischief she and her sisters had made when they were younger.

“Claire is four years younger than me,” she said. “But we are not very like each other at all. I am a little more calm than Claire, but Amanda is quieter than both of us.”

She thought for a moment. “We always liked playing with our pets.

We had two big dogs called Sam and Mickey, and two cats.

They were both girls and were always having kittens.

I think we once had about two dozen kittens in the house at one time.

We were constantly tripping over them, but they were so beautiful, nobody minded.

Of course, we had to find homes for them; otherwise, we would have been overrun with cats. But there were always quite a few running about, so at least we never had a problem with mice. And during the winter, we used to sneak the cats into our beds to keep us warm.”

Elspeth giggled. “You and your sisters sound as if you had a lot of fun,” she observed. “Tell me some more stories.”

She listened while Rose told her about the tricks her sisters had played on her, and the trouble they had caused.

Elspeth was fascinated. “Did you ever do bad things to them?” she asked eagerly.

Rose looked outraged. “Of course not!” she said. “I was an angel, I still am!”

Elspeth burst out laughing and rolled over to lay her head on Rose’s shoulder. “You are the baddest angel I have ever met,” she cried.

Rose hugged Elspeth again and thought how wonderful it would be to have a child of her own with Cormac, then put the thought out of her mind. He had been careful to avoid a chance of getting Rose with child, withdrawing from her before he came, but nothing was ever certain.

She looked up at the sky, where dark clouds were gathering, heralding the arrival of a storm. Elspeth followed her gaze and frowned, then sighed and sat up. “I like being with you, Rose. Don’t leave.”

Rose smiled. “I like being with you too, Elspeth, and I have no intention of leaving,” she said warmly.

Rose stood outside Cormac’s study that evening after Elspeth had gone to bed, her heart beating wildly. She had come to ask him to order some French books for Elspeth to read, or so she told herself, but she knew that what she really wanted was to see him.

She knocked on the door and heard his deep voice asking her to enter. She opened the door and stepped through it to find his bright blue eyes already waiting for her. Their gazes locked, and at that moment, neither could look away.

“I was hoping it was you,” he said huskily as he stood up and moved around his desk.

“I came to—” Rose began, then her voice faltered.

“I know what you came for.” Cormac crossed the room in a few long strides, then wrapped his arms around her, taking her unresisting lips in a passionate kiss.

He cupped her backside in his big hands and pulled her against him so that she could feel the long ridge of his erection pressing against her belly.

“Oh, god,” she whispered as his lips moved down her neck and his hands covered her breasts. Then he stopped to look down at her, his eyes dark with desire.

“More?” he asked.

“Yes, oh yes,” Rose whispered desperately, raising her mouth for another kiss. Her whole body was thrumming with desire, her nipples tingling, her private parts warm and wet. “Hurry,” she begged. “Don’t wait, Cormac. I need you now.”

Cormac backed Rose against the desk, then lifted her until she was sitting on it and pushed up her skirts before he touched her on her sweetest spot.

She cried out his name and her hips arched upwards without her volition, almost toppling her from the desk.

Cormac’s hands, holding her in place, saved her.

Rose had no time to think any more as she suddenly felt the plunge of his entry into her body, and this time there was no pain. Neither was there any preparation or tenderness, but the roughness and haste was just what she wanted and needed at that moment.

She wrapped her legs around his hips and completely surrendered herself to him, pulling his lips down to hers in a kiss that was so overwhelmingly passionate that it made her head spin.

Her hands gripped the muscles of his arms so hard that he had bruises afterwards, then once more she felt the pleasure within her building.

“Cormac, please!” she gasped.

“Please what?” Cormac asked hoarsely. He was almost at the limit of his endurance, and knew that in a moment he would spend inside her, but he had to hold on until Rose was satisfied. “Tell me what you want.”

“Please make me—” She broke off as once more the pleasure inside her exploded into a storm of ecstasy, and she cried out in sheer rapture.

Cormac watched her face at the moment when she came to fulfilment, and a second later he withdrew from her and spilled his seed after the most titanic orgasm he had ever experienced.

He moaned in satisfaction as his body was wracked with spasms of pleasure, and stood between Rose’s legs while they both came back to earth.

Rose could have stayed like that for a long, long time, but Cormac picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the couch in front of the fireplace.

There, he sat her down and lay across her with his head on her lap.

Rose stroked his hair and thought how wonderful it was to have a big, powerful man like this submitting to her so completely.

“I think you will have to pay me more visits like this,” he said, smiling wickedly. “I enjoy them very much.”

“So do I,” she replied, laughing softly, then asked a question she had been wanting to ask since their first encounter. “What does it feel like for you? When you reach your climax?”

Cormac sighed. “I have no words to describe the pleasure, Rose. It is the most blissful feeling I have ever experienced.” He shook his head. “Is it the same for you?”

“Yes,” she replied. “But I think there is an added pleasure in hiding and keeping it a secret!”

Cormac burst out laughing. “Of course there is,” he agreed, pulling her down for another short kiss. “I never thought of that, you wicked woman.”

They sat for a long time talking about inconsequential things like the Captain of the Guard who had fallen in love with one of the maidservants, the new stallion Cormac had just bought, and other such trivialities.

It might not have been stimulating, intellectual conversation, but Rose loved the intimacy of being here with the man she loved, holding his warm strength in her lap. She wanted to make it last forever.

“Elspeth and I were talking today,” Rose said, “about why she liked me. She said it is a mother’s job to teach her children, and that was what she believed until now.

She said that none of the other governesses were kind, and shouted at her when she threw things.

I asked her why she threw things, and she told me it was because it made her feel better, and I can understand that.

She is a wonderful child, Cormac. You should be very proud of her. ”

That was when the guilt smote him. As he looked up into Rose’s deep brown eyes, he felt a pain so sharp he almost cried out. These were not Catherine’s eyes; they were not the eyes of the woman he had married, not the eyes of the woman who had borne his child.

No. They were the eyes of someone he had lusted after since the first moment he saw her, who had completely fascinated him and cast a spell over him.

No, he was seeking comfort in the arms of another while his daughter was still mourning her mother.

What kind of creature was he? He could answer that question straightaway.

He was a shallow, selfish man who was satisfying his carnal desires at the expense of his daughter’s happiness.

Shame washed over him, and he could no longer look Rose in the eye.

He tensed, and Rose felt the difference in him at once. His gaze slid away from hers, and he sat up then eased away from her. He rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with his hands, not wanting Rose to see the expression in his eyes.

She was about to speak, but at the last moment, Rose decided to say nothing. Cormac might be silent, but it was quite clear what had happened, and the guilt he was feeling was suddenly hers too.

Why had she been trying to replace the love of Cormac’s life, Elspeth’s mother, when it was clear to her that neither of them was ready? It might have been four years since his wife’s death, but no one could feel what someone else felt, or tell them how long to grieve.

And yet, was the fault not partly his? She had not encouraged him or forced him; she had not given him any signals that a relationship with him was what she wanted.

Of course, men were not the same as women.

Their needs were different; they had urges that women simply did not possess.

Perhaps he was only obeying those urges, and she was the first woman he had seen whom he desired.

Yet, she could not see him as some animal-like creature with no feelings, only impulses.

He was too warm, too generous, too protective.

No, Cormac was still grieving, and Rose was certain of it. She straightened her clothing as she stood up.

“Rose, please let me explain,” he began desperately. “I never meant for this to happen—truly. You must believe me. I have treated you very badly, I know?—”

Rose raised her hand to stop him speaking. “You are still grieving, I know that. I should never have let myself be seduced. I was weak, and now I am paying the price. I am sorry, Cormac.”

“Rose… don’t go. Let me tell you how—” he begged, then broke off and tried to grab her arm as Rose reached the door, but she pushed him away and left, then ran down the corridor, intending to go to her bedchamber.

She was looking at the floor, not wanting to raise her head in case anyone saw the tears in her eyes. She was just about to turn a corner when she collided with a warm, solid body, and looked up into Nell’s blue-grey eyes.

Nell took one look at Rose, then wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her away in silence. However, it was a warm silence, and Rose felt enormous solace in the old lady’s company, even if nothing was said between them.

Presently, they arrived at Nell’s rooms, and she sat Rose down in a cosy chair by the fire, then brought her a cup of warm spiced ale.

“Now, tell me all about it, hen,” she said, her voice warm with sympathy.

Rose looked up at her, and felt warm, complete trust in someone for the first time since her mother died. Here was someone to whom she could pour out her heart and know that it would be in safe hands. Here was someone who could step into the shoes of the mother she had lost.

“I can never replace her, Nell,” she said sadly. “I don’t want to, and it would be cruel of me to try.”

“Who? Catherine? Cormac’s wife?” Nell asked. “I dinnae think he would ask that o’ ye, hen.”

Rose nodded. “I was beginning to think he felt something for me, but I was wrong—stupid. It would be cruel to him and to Elspeth to even try. And now look at me, a poor pathetic creature trapped in an impossible situation. I will have to leave, Nell. I love him too much to stay.”

“An’ where will ye go, hen?” Nell asked. “From what ye tell me about your father, he willnae welcome ye back.”

Rose sighed. “I will think of something.” She sipped her ale, realising that Nell had none. “Did you give me your drink?” Rose asked.

“I can make another one,” Nell replied, smiling. “There is nae art tae it, hen.”

“You are so good to me, Nell,” Rose told her. “I am so lucky to have met you.”

“I am the lucky one, hen,” Nell told her. “Because I never met the right man an’ never got married, but I always wanted a daughter, an’ you are the daughter I never had.”

“I would be very happy for you to be my mother,” Rose answered.

She meant every word because Nell had shown her nothing but warmth and kindness since the day she arrived. She wrapped her arms around the old lady and hugged her tightly.

The little time Rose had spent with Nell had temporarily taken her mind from her problems, but now they came rushing back with a vengeance.

“What am I going to do, Nell?” she asked. “I truly feel unable to stay here and look Cormac in the eye.”

Nell thought for a moment. “Take some time,” she replied. “Even if it is just a day. Clear your head.”

“What about Elspeth?” Rose asked.

“I can take care o’ Elspeth,” Nell answered firmly.

“What shall I do?” Rose asked. “I cannot stay in the castle or Elspeth will find me.”

“Go intae the village,” Nell suggested. “Or sit by the wee burn for a while.”

Rose nodded and stood up. “I truly don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Ye would manage just fine,” Nell replied, laughing. “Now go an’ get some sleep, an’ leave everythin’ tae me.”

She gave Rose one more tight hug, then watched her as she walked away, trying to think of what she would say to Elspeth in the morning.