Page 67 of To Love You

Overall.

And he didn’t know why. He didn’t know what to say, and he surely didn’t know what to ask for. Cooper considered it a growing pain, so he bit his tongue and swore to wait it out.

“Are you down there?” Adam hollered, obviously knowing the answer to the question. Where else would Cooper be?

“Yeah.” He untied his apron and threw it on the counter, nearly finished with the paddle he’d been shaping. It was thick and long, with a waffled texture that he hoped would leave welts the size of mountains on his ass one day, but Adam coming home ensured today wouldn’t be that day. “I’ll be right there.”

He climbed the stairs, fighting back the sense of unease that had been building at the base of his spine over the past week, greeting Adam with a sincere, if not tired, smile. “Hey, baby.”

Adam opened his arms and Cooper walked forward, smashing his face against Adam’s chest with a sigh.

“How was your night?” Adam asked.

“Almost done with the paddle.” He turned his face to the side and pressed his cheek against Adam’s sternum. “How was Grant?”

“He was Grant.” At that, Cooper snorted, and Adam skated his hands down Cooper’s sides and settled on his waist. “Can we talk?”

Cooper swallowed, leaning back and peering up at Adam. “That sounds terrifying coming from you.”

Memories of their past that he’d long tried to bury resurfaced and he frowned at them. It was impossible to not recall the way Adam’s careless words from their first breakup had cut him to the bone. And all of it had started with those same three words.

“Nothing bad,” Adam quickly said, leading Cooper down the hall into the guest room…the play room. “I promise.”

Cooper kicked the door closed and lingered near it while Adam paced a slow and thoughtful circle.

“Things have been kind of weird, right?” Adam asked, trailing his fingers down the rack of canes that hung on the side wall.

“Have they?” Cooper bit the inside of his cheek.

Adam knocked him back with a sharp glare. “Right?”

“A bit,” he agreed.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” He half lied. He had ideas.

“I think it’s because you’re not being honest with me.”

Cooper cocked his head to the side, an amused sound bubbling up in his throat. “Is that so?”

“All you’ve done is submit,” Adam said softly. “All you’ve done is give.”

“I’m not unhappy submitting to you.” Cooper leaned against the door and scrubbed a hand down his jaw. “I told you this isn’t a 50/50 thing.”

Adam picked a cane off the wall and traced the length of it, giving the rod an easy bend to test the tension. He returned it to the rack and made his way among the rest of the toys, touching and testing as he went.

“I don’t think this has anything to do with me,” Cooper finally said, pieces clicking together. “You’re the one who’s not being honest and you’re trying to put it on me.”

Adam’s head snapped up, the collar and gag he held falling out of his hand and onto the floor. “How do you figure?”

Adam’s face said it all, though.

“This isn’t about me at all.” Cooper smirked, pushing off the door and closing the space between them. “You like submitting. You want to do it more and you can’t because I’ve been doing it.”

“What?”

Cooper bent over and picked up the restraint, returning it to Adam’s waiting hands.