Page 54 of To Heist and to Hold

Ethan was exhausted, quite possibly the most exhausted he’d ever been in his life. Yet he knew that no matter how hard he might try, there would be no sleep for him.

Of course, the noise coming from the casino floor alone would have prevented him from sleeping.

With no little amount of bemusement, he looked down at the milling crowd, a crowd that was significantly larger than what Dionysus drew in a normal evening.

It seemed that the chaos and panic of the night of the masquerade had, instead of ruining them as Heloise had feared, only served to whet the public’s appetite for the club.

Heloise. At the thought of her, so unexpected after he had managed to keep his mind off her for, oh, the past ten minutes at least, he sighed wearily.

After her blade had struck Copper, after he had ascertained she was safe while Isaac and Teagan and Parsons had finished subduing the floor manager, there had been too much to focus on to give her proper attention.

From relighting the gaslights, to making certain all their patrons were safe, to filling his partners in on what had occurred, he’d not had a moment to spare for Heloise.

By the time dawn broke and he was able to draw breath again, she had been gone, without even a note of goodbye.

Not that he had expected one. Give her time , he’d told himself. The night had been traumatic, after all, as well as exhausting. Not to mention there were the jewels to return and her sister-in-law to look after.

But though he’d waited, there had been not even a whisper from her. Which was akin to torture; he missed her so much he could hardly breathe.

“You know,” Teagan drawled from behind him, “if you’re going to sit around brooding all day and night, you may as well go visit her.”

Ethan started, glancing back into the dimly lit owners’ suite. Teagan, Isaac, and Parsons stared back at him, their expressions betraying varying degrees of amusement. Even Parsons, whose smiles of the past decade Ethan could count on one hand, had a vaguely amused tilt to his lips.

He scowled at them. “I’m giving her time.”

“Wasting time, is more like it,” Isaac rejoined. He leaned back in his chair, crossing one foot over the opposite knee. “I’m getting damn tired of waiting for you to make Mrs. Marlow my sister.”

The longing that brought Ethan was physically painful. “As if that’s a possibility,” he mumbled.

Isaac rolled his eyes as if asking for celestial guidance. “Well, it’s not if you don’t get your head out of your arse and ask her.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Isn’t it, though?” Teagan asked. He held his glass up, studying the amber liquid within as if divining the future. “I thought recent events would reduce your stubbornness, but it seems you’re just as stubborn and thickheaded as ever.”

“What the hell does Copper’s betrayal have to do with my stubbornness?” he demanded.

There was a moment of heavy silence, that betrayal still infinitely painful to each of them.

As it would be for some time, no doubt. Their shock and fury at learning the truth of that tragic event three years ago, as well as finding out that the corruption had not stopped in all that time, had been extreme.

Especially as it had all been committed by someone they had grown up with, been friends with, trusted.

But while each grieved it in his own way, Ethan had noticed the change that had occurred among them all.

There was a closeness there now that had been missing for the past three years, a return of the camaraderie that had been shattered with Gavin’s death.

It had started as a fragile thing, as new and green as a spring shoot.

But it grew stronger every minute of every day.

A fact that Ethan was infinitely thankful for.

“This has nothing to do with Copper,” Isaac said now, the pain of a moment ago having blessedly passed with few residual effects. “Rather, it has to do with your affair with Mrs. Marlow and everything that came from that. Namely an opening up of that rusty piece of tin you call your heart.”

“Shut up,” Ethan grumbled.

“We will shut up when you finally come to your senses and go after her,” Teagan declared.

Ethan glared at them. “Do the two of you enjoy joining forces against me? At least Parsons here has the sense to leave me be.”

The man in question, however, shifted in his seat, looking as uncomfortable as he ever had, and cleared his throat. “Actually…”

Ethan gaped at him. “Not you as well.”

He shrugged. “I may be slow, but I’m not blind. Anyone could see you were happy with her.”

Isaac gave Ethan a look and motioned to Parsons with both hands as if to say, “There, you see?”

But this was all too much, and was making Ethan want things that he could not allow himself to want until Heloise was good and ready—if she ever would be. Thankfully, Keely knocked and opened the door just then.

“Keely,” Ethan exclaimed, perhaps a touch too loudly, if the stunned looks the other men gave him was any indication.

But in that moment he didn’t care that he was acting out of character, as long as the conversation turned from that one subject that gave him the most painful hope.

He motioned expansively for the younger man to enter. “Come in.”

“Mr. Sinclaire, Mr. Sinclaire, Mr. Teagan, Parsons,” Keely said, nodding at each of them in turn.

“I trust you have news for us,” Parsons said, back to looking as imposing as ever.

“Aye. I saw the boat Mr. Copper was on set sail myself this afternoon.”

Ethan nodded, looking back to the casino floor, though he hardly saw it as the rest of the men talked behind him.

He had expected relief at knowing Copper was well and truly out of the country.

But he felt only a heavy sadness that it had all come to this.

The four partners had discussed at length Copper’s fate—after giving the man the beating of a lifetime, of course—and had decided to a one that, to honor their long-standing history, a history that Copper himself had besmirched, they would not turn him over to the authorities.

No matter what he might have done, they had no wish to see the man dangling at the end of a rope.

And, as Isaac had so poignantly put it, Gavin would not have wanted such a violent end for him, either.

And so they had bought him passage to America, warning him never to return, and witnessed him boarding the ship that very afternoon.

They’d left Keely to keep watch, to make certain the ship set sail, to verify that Copper was well and truly on his way across the Atlantic.

Yes, he should feel relief that it was over.

But he didn’t. And as Keely departed and Ethan turned back to look at his partners, he knew they felt the same.

Teagan downed the remainder of his drink, pulling his lips back from his teeth in appreciation. “It was the best decision we could have made given the circumstances.”

“Yes,” Ethan replied softly before rallying and giving Parsons a wry glance. “Besides, if he had stayed in England, I do believe Parsons here would have finished the job he’d started and beat the very life from him.”

Once more Parsons’s lips quirked up at the corner ever so slightly—truly, this was a banner day for wringing emotion out of the veritable stone that Parsons was. “I was only finishing the job that Mrs. Marlow started.”

“If I had known the woman was as talented with a blade as all that,” Teagan murmured with a raised brow, “I would have snatched her up myself.”

Isaac chuckled. “It will be handy, having a sister-in-law with such skills.”

And so they were back to this, were they? Ethan bowed his head and sighed, even as his heart pounded out that damned hopeful beat again in his chest. “You won’t stop harping on this subject, will you?”

Isaac grinned. “No.”

Ethan pursed his lips, considering them all severely. “You truly plan to drive me to the brink of madness until I go after her?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Teagan drawled.

“And nothing I say will dissuade you?”

Parsons snorted. “As if we ever listened to you in the first place.”

That bit of unexpected sarcasm finally earned a bark of laughter from Ethan. But his humor was short lived. He expelled a heavy breath, rubbing at the back of his neck. “And what if she won’t have me?” he asked, the words low and harsh.

Isaac frowned, his confusion palpable. “What do you mean, what if she won’t have you?”

He gritted his teeth, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“It was because of the club that her sister-in-law was in danger, that she had to resort to an affair with me in the first place. I cannot imagine the fear she must have felt to do such a thing. How can affection grow from that? And even if, by some miracle, she could come to love me, would she be able to withstand the memories of what happened? I’ll be nothing but a source of heartache to her.

No matter how deep my affections for her, no matter the future I may hope to share with her, I have to respect her choice.

Even if that choice is to be without me.

Though I do believe it will kill me if that is what comes to pass.

” He sighed heavily. “I cannot ask her to live with those memories, no matter how much I may wish to.”

There was a beat of silence, the loudest silence he had ever heard. And then a voice so sweet filled the room, one he’d never thought to hear again.

“I can assure you,” Heloise said softly, “that the pain of those memories is insignificant compared to my love for you.”

He sucked in a breath, head jerking up, eyes scanning the dim suite, hardly noticing that Isaac and Teagan and Parsons had somehow quietly departed while he’d been pouring his heart out. No, the only thing he could see in that moment was a face incredibly dear to him.

“Heloise,” he breathed. He must be imagining things. She could not be here. But then she approached him, a nervous smile on her lips, and reached up to cup his cheek in her palm, and he knew his hopeless dream had somehow, someway become a beautiful reality.

It had taken every bit of bravery Heloise possessed to come to Dionysus and seek Ethan out.

That hope that had taken root in her, after all, had taken a beating during the drive here, every possible reaction to her confession filling her mind, battering her with growing uncertainty.

But she had done it, had entered the club and climbed the steps to that dark hallway and found her way to the suite.

And there he had been, looking so magnificent she’d wanted to cry.

The last thing she’d expected to hear when she’d finally found him, however, was him pouring out his heart.

The partners had seen her immediately. With wide smiles—well, except for Mr. Parsons, though that little curve of his lips could certainly be deemed a grin considering how dour he typically was—they had crept from the room, leaving her alone with Ethan.

Leaving her to soak in each and every tortured word pouring from his lips, filling her up until she thought she’d burst. And then she did burst, her confession spilling from her, her love for him unable to be contained any longer.

His eyes were wide and disbelieving when he looked at her, her name on his lips full of such longing it brought tears to her eyes. It was an easy thing then to walk across the room, to reach up, to cradle his face in her hand.

The breath left him in a rush, his eyes caressing her face as if he could not believe she was in front of him. “Heloise,” he said again.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” she whispered. And then, the words stronger, filled with every emotion of their parting, “And I’m sorry I tricked you, that I betrayed you. I’m sorry I believed the worst of you. I’m sorry that I ever made you believe I didn’t care for you—”

But he was shaking his head. “I should be the one apologizing for what you were forced to do because of my club. And I will, profusely, for the rest of my life. But that’s for later. For now, just tell me again what you said when you arrived.”

It didn’t take her long to realize what he was asking for. She smiled, her heart full. “I love you, Ethan—”

She was in his arms before the words were out, his mouth on hers, as if he would swallow her confession down to the very depths of his soul.

“Again,” he demanded when he broke the kiss, eyes blazing down into hers.

Her smile widened. “I love you.”

He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her nose. “Again,” he breathed.

She laughed—her joy was so great—even as tears prickled her eyes. “I love you,” she managed through a throat tight with emotion.

He pulled back, gazed down at her. “Thank God,” he whispered.

He cradled her to him, his eyes scouring her face as if he could not get enough of looking at her.

One hand came up and cupped her cheek with such tenderness that those blasted tears threatened to spill over.

And then, his voice shaking with emotion, “I love you, Heloise.”

Her tears broke free then, trailing down her cheeks. He kissed them away, one by one, each touch of his lips reverential. Which only made the tears come faster.

“I must be dreaming,” she whispered. Yes, that was it, she was still back at home, in her lonely bed, just dreaming of this beautiful moment.

He looked down into her eyes, his own brimming with tears. “If you are dreaming,” he managed hoarsely, “then I am, too. And that I will not condone.”

She gave a watery laugh. “And how do you propose we ascertain it is not a dream?”

He smiled tenderly. “There really is only one way.” When she raised a brow in question, his smile widened. “I shall just have to take you to my bed, and make love to you until dawn.”

Which, Heloise thought happily as he lifted her in his arms and strode through the club to said bed, was a very good idea indeed.