Page 45 of To Heist and to Hold

Why, Ethan thought as he gazed upon his brother’s suddenly haggard face, did it seem as if everything in his life would shift in the next moment? And then it did, in a flash.

“I’m not certain Gavin was guilty of the cheating.”

Ethan froze, shock paralyzing his lungs until spots began to swim in his vision. But his brother was looking at him with something like fear and worry, and he could not allow his disquiet to show lest he add to his brother’s burdens. “Tell me why you think so,” he said gently.

Isaac released a shaky breath, wiping his hands on his pants.

“He said one word, and one word only: ‘How?’ That was all he said to me before leaving, before he rushed out of here in an effort to get to you.” He closed his eyes and shook his head, as if trying to dislodge something infinitely painful.

“That last word is still ringing in my ears, as clear as if Gavin just spoke it. I can still hear the disbelief and pain and fear in it. But after three long years, I’m beginning to wonder if that single question was not asking how we could have found out about his betrayal, but rather how he could have been blamed when he was, in fact, innocent. ”

Those quiet words, said with a sad resignation and a thick guilt, nevertheless hit Ethan like a wave smashing against a cliff face.

And he saw then those questions deep in his heart that he had been ignoring since the latest information regarding the corruption at Dionysus had cropped up: What if this betrayal was not new at all, but a continuation of the one from three years ago?

What if the perpetrator had been lying low all this time after the tragedy of Gavin’s death, letting everyone believe in his brother’s guilt, an act of cowardly self-preservation—letting a dead man, someone who could not defend himself, take the blame?

His breath left him in a rush. Truly, it made perfect sense. Which meant that all this time, as he had been thinking his brother a villain and closing himself off from everyone, the one responsible for the betrayal in the first place had been safe and secure at Dionysus. The cuckoo in the nest.

“Fuck,” he growled, slamming his fist down on the desktop.

Isaac, however, misconstrued the source of Ethan’s anger. His face paled, the trust of a moment ago gone. “If you would just listen—”

But Ethan was not about to allow miscommunication to come between them again. Nor was he going to keep information from his brother that he had every right to know. “I believe you,” he cut in gruffly.

Isaac’s face went slack. “You… do?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” And then, quietly, “Thank you.”

A humorless laugh tumbled from Ethan’s lips.

“Thanking me is the last thing you should be doing. In fact, you should be cursing me. If not for me pulling away from you, we might have had this conversation sooner, might have come upon the truth long ago.” He swallowed hard.

“Especially as it seems whoever was responsible for the cheating the first time may have resurfaced.”

Isaac stared at him. “What?” he breathed.

Ethan nodded and ran a hand over his face, a new fury boiling up in him. Had the perpetrator purposely framed Gavin back then? Had they been the one to cause the tragic chain of events that had led to their brother’s death?

But losing control of his emotions right now would not help anyone. No, he had to maintain a cool head. “These past weeks I have been tracking new information on corruption at the club.”

Isaac frowned, confusion clouding his vision.

Then, suddenly, the clouds lifted, a dawning light entered his eyes, and Ethan could fairly see the moment his brother realized that he had been under suspicion, that Ethan had believed he could be the guilty party.

He braced himself, expecting fury and grief that Ethan could think him capable of something so horrendous.

Instead, Isaac breathed deeply and placed a comforting hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “Thank you for telling me.” His lips tilted up at one corner. “Though I hope you know you cannot keep me out of working with you to unearth the culprit.”

Ethan gaped at him. “You aren’t angry with me?”

Isaac snorted. “Oh, I’m plenty angry. But I understand why you did what you did.”

Ethan shook his head, unable to speak. Finally he managed, voice hoarse with guilt, “I’m sorry for turning my back on you when you needed me most. I essentially abandoned you.”

Isaac gave him a small, sad smile. “Will you take on the guilt for this as well? You really do take pleasure in pain, don’t you?” He chuckled lightly. “You never abandoned me. You simply did what you had to in order to survive.”

Ethan shook his head. “No matter the reason, as your elder brother it was wrong of me.”

“Bullshit.”

While Ethan was stunned at the vehemence in that one unexpected word, he was even more so seeing a small, affectionate smile lifting his brother’s lips.

“You’re an idiot, did you know that?” Isaac murmured.

“Despite what you wish people to believe, you’re human.

And you were hurting, worse than I’ve ever seen you hurt.

I knew you were dealing with that hellish situation in the only way that you could while keeping your sanity.

And not once did I ever resent you for it. Nor do I resent you for this.”

Why, Ethan wondered blearily, was everything going hazy in his vision? He blinked furiously to clear his eyesight—only to feel the warm track of tears trailing down his cheeks.

But at the moment he didn’t give a damn that he was crying.

All that mattered was the feeling of the great gaping hole in his chest that had been punched clear through him at Gavin’s death beginning to close.

No, that wasn’t right. It had begun to close this past week or better.

And it was all because of Heloise. She had touched something deep inside him with her caring and had begun to heal him, no matter that her efforts had been born from desperation for her sister-in-law.

Without her, he would never have found his way out of the fog he’d been wandering aimlessly in for three years, leading him here to this moment with his brother.

As he wordlessly pulled Isaac into a hug, he vowed it would not be wasted.