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NERYS

“She kicked me out.”

Marek jumped back, narrowly avoiding being soaked, although it would only have been a temporary condition. Evaporation was advanced water-wielding, but Marek could do it as easily as me.

“Seren has little patience for those who dislike books and reading. She knows you well. Is Rowan with her?”

“He is. Guess your human likes books.”

“You had no troubles at the palace?” Caelum asked.

Marek looked at him as if Caelum were a young one. “Have I ever had difficulty smug— transporting someone, or something, without being detected?”

I rolled my eyes. “I know about your smuggling, Marek, and am not certain who you believe you’re deceiving.”

He cleared his throat. “As the future queen of Thalassaria, it’s best you know as little as possible.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but thought better of it. Perhaps he was right.

“How did you get inside here?” I’d half-expected to find Marek and Rowan on the Archives’ doorstep, knowing full well he was not granted right of entry.

“Interesting story about that. I traded a moonstone shard with… a questionable character in Gyoria. He…” Marek stopped. “It occurs to me, it’s best you not know that story either.”

“When Nerys becomes queen,” Caelum said, laughter in his voice, “how will the two of you converse?”

“I have a very legitimate business as Navarch we can discuss.”

“At present, I’d like to discuss the reason you took Rowan here in the middle of the night.”

“He asked.”

“To be smuggled out of the palace?”

Marek winced. “Not precisely. But if he will remain there as your spy, how else do you propose to have done it?”

My spy. I wanted Rowan to be so much more than that. These past few days without him confirmed what I already knew: that he had quickly become an important part of my life.

Ignoring Marek’s question, I half-listened as he and Caelum argued over the best route to smuggle Rowan back into the palace. While they did, I looked at the water wall in front of us, trying to imagine what brought Rowan to Seren. She let so few inside her private chambers… How he and Marek found it, why she allowed him inside, were just two questions I had among many.

While we waited, I wandered to a nearby shelf, looking up to one particular bubble which held a text Seren had pointed out herself to me. I had forgotten about it until now, though I wasn’t sure why it caught my attention again. Perhaps it was the faint hum of its magic, or maybe the lingering memory of Seren’s cryptic words when she first mentioned it. “One day,” she’d said with that infuriating smile of hers. I resisted the urge to poke the bubble, if only because I could hear her scolding me in my head.

“Rowan can tell you what is inside that text, but I am not certain he will. Yet.”

I spun around at my mentor’s words. Seren and Rowan stood at the entrance of her chamber, one I hadn’t even heard open, watching me.

What did her words mean?

I wanted nothing more than to run to him. For Rowan to put his arms around me, holding me close, telling me he missed me these past few days. To ask why he was here, why Seren accepted him. What she meant by, “I’m not certain he will.” Instead, I simply stared. And waited.

“We should go,” was all he said.

“Come,” Seren said in that comforting way she always spoke, as if she was one step in the afterlife, a calming peace always surrounding her. As Rowan moved toward the others, I listened, resisting an urge to reach out my hand as we passed.

Cupping my face, as if a grandmother might, she looked into my eyes. “Trust him. And yourself.”

“Why—”

“The next we meet, you will be my queen. I’ve no doubt of it, Nerys. And neither shall you. Now go before they discover him missing. He is more valuable to your cause, especially now in these precarious days before the festival, than you realize.”

I didn’t question how Seren knew so much. It was as if she had the human Sight, her wisdom endless. My mother had respected her above all others in Thalassaria, and for that reason, I never questioned her and would not begin doing so today.

When I nodded, Seren dropped her hands and smiled. As she leaned toward me, as if to tell me a secret, Seren whispered, “I never told you. Or anyone. Not because I was ashamed that my father was human, but because some truths lose their power when they’re shared too freely.”

“You are…” I swallowed, unable to comprehend Seren’s words fully. How could she be? “You are half-human?” I whispered.

“Rowan will, I have no doubt, eventually explain. Now go, and do not be a stranger to these archives, even when you are queen.”

She was so certain of the outcome.

I listened, not because I had no more questions, or even because I wanted to leave the Deep Archives. I listened because I knew Seren would not reveal more than she had already. And because we did need to get Rowan back.

As it became apparent the others had no idea where to turn, I stepped into the lead, Rowan walking alongside me.

“I have questions,” I said, looking to see if he’d changed in three days. He hadn’t, of course.

“I wish I could provide answers.”

“But you cannot?”

“Not yet.”

What could I say? That his lack of trust in me was disappointing on a level I couldn’t put into words? How could Seren say to “trust him,” somehow knowing he would tell me nothing?

Rowan will, I have no doubt, eventually explain.

Eventually. How was that even possible when he would be leaving soon? In the meantime, there was no use pressing him. Rowan had no intention of telling me why he was here, what he spoke to Seren about… or any of it.

“I’ve heard you do not care for your new escort?”

Rowan made a sound of disgust. “‘Care for’ is putting it mildly.”

We walked well ahead of the others now. Far enough ahead that I could be honest.

“I wish you could tell me more, but even though you do not… even though you don’t trust me with your truth, I have missed you.”

“Nerys.” His smile faltered. “I do trust you. Surely you know as much.”

There was a part of me that believed him, despite myself.

“I’ve missed you too. Very much. And worry for your safety.”

I turned back to the others. “Go straight until you see a reflective pool on your right. Turn left and the stairs will be in front of you at the end of that corridor. We will catch you outside.”

Marek grinned. “Enjoy escorting him up the stairs.” As they passed us, Marek slapped Rowan on the back good-naturedly and all but skipped ahead of us, not even noticing the look Caelum gave him.

We watched them walk straight ahead, eventually turning the corner. When they did, I was pulled into Rowan without preamble. His lips covered mine as Rowan’s arms wrapped around him the exact way I’d envisioned. I held onto him, not caring about his secrets. Or about anything other than the way his tongue caressed mine. The way his hands moved effortlessly down to my waist and then upwards, cupping both breasts. I’m certain it was meant to be a quick kiss, but instead, as I released a small groan of pleasure, Rowan increased the pressure of his kiss.

When his hands moved lower, one of them slipped toward the delicate strands of braided rope that served as my belt. Loosening it, his hand dipped beneath the waistband of my fitted trousers until they found their mark. When his finger found my entrance, I groaned again, my eyes popping open as I pulled my lips from his.

“Each night when you lay in bed, without me, think of my hands this way,” he said, his gaze intent. “Think of my fingers slipping into you, the wetness they find pleasing me more than you can imagine. I want you to think of this.” Two fingers curled around me as they moved, in and out. “How it feels to know there is someone out there who lives to bring you pleasure. Who will champion you, love you, until his dying breath.”

Did he just say… I had no time to dwell on it. Rowan’s mouth remained open, mimicking my own, as he caressed me. As he moved his fingers more quickly, the pace was one of perfection. I wanted to respond, but could not.

“Come for me, Nerys. Say my name as you explode for me, as your legs buckle and I hold you up with my hand.”

“Rowan.” I could not hold on much longer. His words, his expression, the way he moved himself inside me. Already, I was so close.

Who will champion you, love you, until his dying breath.

This from the same Rowan who said we could not be. I didn’t understand, but at this moment, I didn’t want to think of the future. Only the here and now.

“Rowan,” I repeated. “You said…”

He moved them just the right way. Smiling, Rowan leaned into my ear. “That’s it. Come for me, Nerys. Come all over my fingers.”

That’s all it took. I did, and just as he promised, struggled to stand as my knees buckled. He held me up, the sounds Rowan made at the back of his throat doing nothing to help me find my footing.

I hardly noticed he pulled his hands away, but I did notice when he kissed me, hard. Kissing him back, I thought of his words. Of how he’d made me feel. Though I wished we could go on kissing forever, I thought of the others, waiting. Of the coming dawn.

Reluctantly, I pulled away, looking into his eyes.

More questions would not yield answers. Not until he was ready. When that would be, I had no notion. But I could not leave it like this.

“Will I not see you again until the festival?”

“Keeping you safe until then is the priority. If remaining at the palace might help me learn something…”

In other words, no.

“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “What you said… I don’t understand, Rowan. Nothing makes sense.”

“It will. I promise. Trust me, Nerys. Train, focus on the challenge, and trust that it will work out.”

I wanted to ask if “work out” meant there was a path forward for us, but his response at the tavern still weighed on me. And there was also the matter of Rowan being human. I had Caelum’s words to think about. And Aneri’s guidance to offer. It was time I spoke with her on the matter as well.

“I do trust you, Rowan,” I said, meaning it. “But I do not trust the queen. Not any longer. Please be careful.”

“Do not worry about me. It’s you she wishes to discredit.”

Though part of me did not want to tell him, another part of me knew I must.

“There was an attack,” I said, explaining quickly as I adjusted my belt. “They will be waiting. We really should?—”

I attempted to begin walking, but Rowan was having none of it.

Grabbing my hand, he stopped me. I quickly told him of the attack, trying not to become worried at his expression. There was one word I could think of to describe it.

Murderous.

“Neither of them told me,” he said, and I realized why Rowan was so angry. They didn’t tell Rowan because there was little he could do to prevent it. He relied on Caelum and Marek for information. Had felt powerless since he’d come to the palace.

“I will be fine,” I assured him, Rowan still looking like I’d never seen him before.

“You will,” he said. “I mean to be sure of it.”